The Swamp

TT2.0

A year ago, not too many. spent most of my time with a few other poker dealers/players. now that i started doing standup, pretty much all of my time is spent hanging with various comics, or fans of comedy. Became kind of a consuming part of my life. I barely have enough time to see and check on all ...

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I’m 50/50 that I’d endure the punishment for dotting this motherfucker’s eye if he was ever in front of me. He is the ultimate pussy. Hides behind his social media and his office and faces no consequences. Fucker needs his ass kicked. To be put in a situation where all his “money” and “friends” can...

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Can't wait for June to start hitting 100 degree temps and watch people start shedding masks. The governor of Texas and Trump in concert have made it abundantly clear that texas is pretty much a safe space for people who don't give a shit about the virus. Not going to lie, i've been practicing no lon...

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I think by late july to august Texas will be pretty much all of the way open. Sports leagues are dependant on other states, so maybe no live sports yet, but I would almost guarantee a few sold out concerts. People here are emphatically sick of shit being closed, and give no fucks for the consequences.

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One day someone will post me in this thread Hey now. Don't think like that. (You'd definitely get your own thread.) Seriously, your own thread, a memorial fantasy sports league and the online poker tourney thread named in your honor. Or you can keep living to supply the world with your comedy, beca...

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One day someone will post me in this thread

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Sabo wrote: ↑Mon May 18, 2020 6:37 pm Former WWE wrestler Shad Gaspard missing after strong rip currents hit California beach

This is not going to do any favors for the stereotypes

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I expect Texas to be back completely open and maskless by Monday

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mister d wrote: ↑Tue May 12, 2020 10:24 pm We know the virus is far more deadly for people with lung conditions and we also know chronic smokers have the strongest lungs so that makes sense TT.

Some of you believe in sky gods. fuckoff

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Took all of 2 shifts to eliminate the "players must wear a mask rule" and the 6 players to a table rule. At this point I'm choosing to believe in 2 articles i read that say smokers and weed users get corona less.

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6 handed, mask no gloves. Texas.gives no fucks about the Nevada gaming commission...and since we aren't legal there is no regulatory body

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So the local newsstation filmed my poker clubs reopening...We had one table running so I was the only one actually dealing. Depending on what footage they use I might be about to become the poster boy for gambling in the pandemic. This could be fun

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A_B wrote: ↑Wed May 06, 2020 11:46 am I'll probably do a test run with not GOATS to work out the kinks. If you'd be interested in that let me know here. I won't say it is first come first-serve because that will depend on date/time probably.

dibs on test run jeopardy.

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mister d wrote: ↑Tue May 05, 2020 12:46 pm (I know Americans aren't alone in their anti-collectivism, but we certainly take pride in our "right" to view everything as zero-sum where only my side matters.)

I've never left the country. I'm extremely American centric in my views. no idea how the world acts to be honest

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I'm not a viral disease expert. I don't know shit about transmissions, and protocols. What I do know is this. I live in Texas. I know how Texas people think, and I know how Texas people act. The quarantine was always for naught. People don't care. You can't make people care, and we don't have the pe...

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Had a very long and fruitful conversation with my mother tonight, in which i had to delicately explain to her that my anxiety and depression swings have been so severe through this, that if i didn't smoke weed to calm myself down when im on some of these ledges i would very likely be back on much ha...

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EdRomero wrote: ↑Fri Apr 24, 2020 1:23 pm
DaveInSeattle wrote: ↑Fri Apr 24, 2020 1:02 pm It just never stops with this guy...

You could tell it was sarcasm because he used the orange face/font.

extremely well played

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i realize I'm way too late to compete in this year, but can i send in answers to try to fuck with the score curve?

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No bonus points for paying in but never taking out. Hard to explain but it feels like I'm literally the opposite of everything my dad ever taught me right now. Maybe its a being raised by a southern republican thing i dont know. Most southern republicans are former southern democrats, so not gettin...

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mister d wrote: ↑Tue Apr 21, 2020 12:50 pm No bonus points for paying in but never taking out.

Hard to explain but it feels like I'm literally the opposite of everything my dad ever taught me right now. Maybe its a being raised by a southern republican thing i dont know.

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I might have gotten approved for unemployment today. Im not counting chickens until i make the payment request tomorrow, but my account online looks different. I have a whole host of conflicting emotions about having to go on unemployment...even when I was a fucking drug addict I always worked for m...

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Giff wrote: ↑Mon Apr 20, 2020 3:43 pm
TT2.0 wrote: ↑Fri Apr 17, 2020 8:05 pm I am all the way in for this
And all the black women in Houston swoon /orange

I don't know why that is the one demographic I do extremely well in. Seriously is a mystery to me.

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If everyone solely used FB to post too many pictures of their kids or dogs the world would be a much better place. You guys are weird sometimes. Aye. I would 10 out of 10 want a facebook feed with nothing but dogs pics, nature pics, and kid pics over anything else. i find this hurtful to my FB come...

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A married woman who is secretly pregnant with another mans baby asked me if i wanted to go with her to the abortion to mine the situation for comedy material. Fans are fucking weird.

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Just found out that the person im renting a room from is selling their property and i have to be out by april 30th. fuck.

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I am all the way in for this

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Had an hour long phone conversation with Doc from nyc today. he sends his regards, and is doing well, all things considered.

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rass wrote: ↑Wed Apr 15, 2020 9:14 pm Come riff on Showgirls tomorrow night. If i know anything from following you on FB for years it that you love ragging on tall(?), skinny white girls.

My memory has been so terrible lately. If I can remember when its happening I will definitely come hang in the swamp. Not like im going out

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It’s honestly scary how good these feel. I could absolutely understand getting addicted. Fortunately weed does the trick for me 99 percent of the time. Imagine what 100 of them feel like. Death, unless we worked up to it for years. Just saying. Its rare that I get to participate in group discussion...

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It’s honestly scary how good these feel. I could absolutely understand getting addicted. Fortunately weed does the trick for me 99 percent of the time. Imagine what 100 of them feel like. Death, unless we worked up to it for years. Just saying. Its rare that I get to participate in group discussion...

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brian wrote: ↑Tue Apr 14, 2020 10:10 pm It’s honestly scary how good these feel. I could absolutely understand getting addicted. Fortunately weed does the trick for me 99 percent of the time.

Imagine what 100 of them feel like.

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Very much in for this

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It is, but so much of these shows and bookings are political its a literal minefield.

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TT, what does the blacklisted comment mean exactly? Does that mean clubs are holding it against comics for doing their own thing during this situation? im just going to cut and paste the post from a pretty well known comic in houston and leave his name out to give you an idea of the kind of feeling...

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Unemployment claim submitted yesterday. If they approve me help is only a week or so away. nevermind what in the fuck im supposed to do in the meantime. comics are getting blacklisted for going live and asking for donations. underground poker games are getting the cops called on them. Where in the a...

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I made a joke that drove someone out of the forum?
#CareerAccomplishments

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umm...another month without work or money? eek. im fucked. the texas unemployment website is so overwhelmed its crashing and the phone system is so slammed you cant even get in line to get on hold. what the fuck are we supposed to do?

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I would be game to do one now that i've done a few other podcast type interviews

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So....serious question time: Is anyone else concerned about, ya know, dying from this? Because I got that thought last night. I know this is a weird, baseless thought, but if its my fate in life to spend 15 years binge drugging, finally turn my life around, hit a year sober and then have my body de...

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So....serious question time: Is anyone else concerned about, ya know, dying from this? Because I got that thought last night. I know this is a weird, baseless thought, but if its my fate in life to spend 15 years binge drugging, finally turn my life around, hit a year sober and then have my body de...

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