Search found 1339 matches
- Thu Sep 17, 2020 9:44 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: The Near Death Experience Thread
- Replies: 27
- Views: 353
Re: The Near Death Experience Thread
I have to admit going on stage an hour later and opening with the story as a bit and getting laughs with it made me feel more like a professional comic than anything else. Jerry Wayne took it and headlined. Was just kind of confirmation that I actually know what I'm doing. I cried all night that nig...
- Thu Sep 17, 2020 8:43 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: The Near Death Experience Thread
- Replies: 27
- Views: 353
The Near Death Experience Thread
So I almost died In a car wreck tuesday night. I know I used to tend to be prone to hyperbole, but the truck i was riding in hydroplaned, did 2 complete spins at 70 miles an hour across three lanes of traffic, so even though we didn't hit anything objectively we should have died. I had a span of abo...
- Sat Sep 12, 2020 11:25 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Random SwamperFacts
- Replies: 37
- Views: 918
- Sat Sep 12, 2020 12:45 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook
- Replies: 2496
- Views: 221160
Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook
You gonna change your name to El Mermelada?
- Fri Sep 11, 2020 3:00 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: The Captain Trips Anxiety thread
- Replies: 1521
- Views: 40863
Re: The Captain Trips Anxiety thread
I had the worst panic attack of my life yesterday. it lasted. 7 hours. i woke up today feeling like I've been through a war Jesus, that is horrible. I've been getting some serious anxiety lately, not sure if anything qualifies as a panic attack, but pretty close. Can't imagine 7 hours... Is anxiety...
- Fri Sep 11, 2020 8:01 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: The Captain Trips Anxiety thread
- Replies: 1521
- Views: 40863
Re: The Captain Trips Anxiety thread
I had the worst panic attack of my life yesterday. it lasted. 7 hours. i woke up today feeling like I've been through a war Jesus, that is horrible. I've been getting some serious anxiety lately, not sure if anything qualifies as a panic attack, but pretty close. Can't imagine 7 hours... Is anxiety...
- Fri Sep 11, 2020 7:37 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: The Captain Trips Anxiety thread
- Replies: 1521
- Views: 40863
Re: The Captain Trips Anxiety thread
I had the worst panic attack of my life yesterday. it lasted. 7 hours. i woke up today feeling like I've been through a war
- Wed Sep 09, 2020 10:56 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Return of Confessions
- Replies: 1310
- Views: 79416
- Tue Sep 08, 2020 9:50 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook
- Replies: 2496
- Views: 221160
Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook
If all of you leave facebook you will lose access to my dead celebrity jokes, and it makes me sad that none of you care.
- Tue Sep 08, 2020 10:06 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook
- Replies: 2496
- Views: 221160
Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook
i will block family. Fuckem. People who add stress are removed no exceptions
- Thu Sep 03, 2020 6:41 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Trump Admin Meltdown Thread Part V - All Hail King Donald, First of his name
- Replies: 2009
- Views: 64671
Re: Trump Admin Meltdown Thread Part V - All Hail King Donald, First of his name
Trump has been, for the duration of his presidency, fixated on staging military parades, but only of a certain sort. In a 2018 White House planning meeting for such an event, Trump asked his staff not to include wounded veterans, on grounds that spectators would feel uncomfortable in the presence o...
- Tue Sep 01, 2020 9:56 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: 2020 Presidential Election: Joe Biden vs Whoever the Republicans Nominate
- Replies: 2136
- Views: 34626
Re: 2020 Presidential Election: Joe Biden vs Whoever the Republicans Nominate
Sometimes I wish I didn't have to be relatively careful on social media. "Do you think the RNC is bummed about the timing of the Kenosha shooting? I mean... If this had all happened last week they could've added the 17 year old white murderer to the speaking roster in Charlotte." If you w...
- Sat Aug 29, 2020 6:44 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Return of Confessions
- Replies: 1310
- Views: 79416
Re: Return of Confessions
As soon as i got offstage last night my brain reminded me that I have no shows in september, one in october and then none until the end of time and i don't understand how i ever got booked on the ones i had and now it might be all about to come to a crashing halt. Don't mind me, just going to keep m...
- Sat Aug 29, 2020 9:19 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Worthy of mention, too obscure for own thread
- Replies: 3889
- Views: 235821
Re: Worthy of mention, too obscure for own thread
Chadwick fucking Bozeman gets put in this thread and yall wonder why I feel like I'm not getting my own
- Fri Aug 28, 2020 4:39 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread
- Replies: 2617
- Views: 152037
Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread
My 23 year old son is having trouble finding full time work in his chosen field (Industrial Design), but bless him, he's staying busy writing for a couple of websites. His first feature - and it's a wild bit of history. https://www.hotcars.com/how-saabs-viggen-fighter-almost-took-down-legendary-sr-...
- Thu Aug 27, 2020 6:17 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Hurricane Laura
- Replies: 13
- Views: 353
Re: Hurricane Laura
missed me completely in case anyone was wondering
- Thu Aug 27, 2020 6:07 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: The Important Sounds of Things Falling Apart
- Replies: 1194
- Views: 54208
Re: The Important Sounds of Things Falling Apart
Why couldn't you have just stopped at "well crafted commentary?" :(
- Thu Aug 27, 2020 9:35 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: "You know that's permanent, right?" - The Tattoo Thread
- Replies: 188
- Views: 8017
Re: "You know that's permanent, right?" - The Tattoo Thread
nice ink Johnnie
- Thu Aug 27, 2020 12:18 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: The Important Sounds of Things Falling Apart
- Replies: 1194
- Views: 54208
Re: The Important Sounds of Things Falling Apart
Im just going to post this here so it doesn't start a fb war. You guys know im joking and i think this shit is horrible...but
Kyle Rittenhouse is exactly what happens when you force school shooters to take zoom classe
Kyle Rittenhouse is exactly what happens when you force school shooters to take zoom classe
- Tue Aug 25, 2020 10:31 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: The Weather
- Replies: 2500
- Views: 121282
Re: The Weather
riding out this hurricane. my house is in pearland for all yall weather channel watchers. wish me luck
- Tue Aug 25, 2020 8:59 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Kobe Bryant
- Replies: 101
- Views: 3215
Re: Kobe Bryant
Has it been long enough for me to make the joke yet?
- Mon Aug 24, 2020 1:14 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: 2020 Presidential Election: Joe Biden vs Whoever the Republicans Nominate
- Replies: 2136
- Views: 34626
Re: 2020 Presidential Election: Joe Biden vs Whoever the Republicans Nominate
There is no valid reason to sniff children man.
- Mon Aug 24, 2020 1:13 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: 2020 Presidential Election: Joe Biden vs Whoever the Republicans Nominate
- Replies: 2136
- Views: 34626
Re: 2020 Presidential Election: Joe Biden vs Whoever the Republicans Nominate
Man, didn't think my comment on the Biden video would lead to this much discussion... I am confident Biden had all the best intentions, and I was somewhat sarcastically saying it shows he isn't inappropriate towards girls/women, just awkward in touching people. If he was a sexual predator, he would...
- Sun Aug 23, 2020 11:42 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Return of Confessions
- Replies: 1310
- Views: 79416
Re: Return of Confessions
Best month i've had so far was 1300, so yeah probably can't play spring ball.
- Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:37 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: 2020 Presidential Election: Joe Biden vs Whoever the Republicans Nominate
- Replies: 2136
- Views: 34626
Re: 2020 Presidential Election: Joe Biden vs Whoever the Republicans Nominate
Someone want to take a run at defending the whole him sniffing people thing, or can we just go back to yes, its wrong and hes a creepy fuck, but he's better than what we have?
- Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:35 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Return of Confessions
- Replies: 1310
- Views: 79416
Re: Return of Confessions
I reread shit I write here when I'm depressed, so feel free to ignore this one, but I just want to remember how good this thing feels when you manage to do it well. Tonight was soooo good. You may not be rich (yet), but you are a professional comedian. Think of how many people want to be able to sa...
- Sat Aug 22, 2020 7:05 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: 2020 Presidential Election: Joe Biden vs Whoever the Republicans Nominate
- Replies: 2136
- Views: 34626
Re: 2020 Presidential Election: Joe Biden vs Whoever the Republicans Nominate
Wow. Biden talking to that boy was some powerful stuff. I've heard that he does call random kids he meets to help them with their stuttering. Trying not to be sarcastic and flippant here, but look at the way Joe is manhandling the kid. It proves he isn't being creepy with girls and young women, it'...
- Sat Aug 22, 2020 12:18 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Return of Confessions
- Replies: 1310
- Views: 79416
Re: Return of Confessions
I reread shit I write here when I'm depressed, so feel free to ignore this one, but I just want to remember how good this thing feels when you manage to do it well. Tonight was soooo good.
- Thu Aug 20, 2020 12:21 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Return of Confessions
- Replies: 1310
- Views: 79416
Re: Return of Confessions
TT are you doing a show with Billy D. Washington on the lineup? I met him through an old Rockets message board and he gave me tickets to see him in Ft. Worth when I lived up in DFW area. He was on tour with Christopher Reid (Kid) and the 15 minutes spent chatting with both of them after the show is...
- Thu Aug 20, 2020 11:20 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Return of Confessions
- Replies: 1310
- Views: 79416
- Thu Aug 20, 2020 10:30 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Return of Confessions
- Replies: 1310
- Views: 79416
Re: Return of Confessions
TT, I can relate to everything you wrote, except for the stuff with your father and the women offering money for sex. Just know that the feelings will pass. I know that seems impossible at times, but it will. I get the imposter syndrome, too. I've heard so many of the greatest comedians all say the...
- Thu Aug 20, 2020 10:27 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Return of Confessions
- Replies: 1310
- Views: 79416
- Wed Aug 19, 2020 11:06 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Return of Confessions
- Replies: 1310
- Views: 79416
Re: Return of Confessions
not exactly the type of confession this thread was made for, but I can't really post this in the covid anxiety thread so i'll just change the format of how i write slightly. Confession- I've spent the last week or so fighting suicidal thoughts at an alarming rate. Whats causing you to be so depresse...
- Fri Aug 14, 2020 7:22 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: "You know that's permanent, right?" - The Tattoo Thread
- Replies: 188
- Views: 8017
- Fri Aug 14, 2020 7:57 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: "You know that's permanent, right?" - The Tattoo Thread
- Replies: 188
- Views: 8017
- Thu Aug 13, 2020 11:48 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: "You know that's permanent, right?" - The Tattoo Thread
- Replies: 188
- Views: 8017
Re: "You know that's permanent, right?" - The Tattoo Thread
my sobriety date in roman numerals...i'm betting a lot on myself not fucking up and making myself a hypocrite. i did it in roman numerals because i didn't really want it to be instantly recognizable as a date. i like it though, i just hope i don't let myself down.
- Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:20 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Comedy...stand-up and otherwise...
- Replies: 1297
- Views: 191758
Re: Comedy...stand-up and otherwise...
I only have audio and a lot of you have heard my stuff before but my set last night at Improv is the best I've ever done. If anyone is bored and wants to listen to it send me an email address or message me on Facebook.
The audio that is me starts about the 1 minute 45 second mark
The audio that is me starts about the 1 minute 45 second mark
- Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:17 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook
- Replies: 2496
- Views: 221160
Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook
I'm usually the last person to advocate restraint but...no.
- Sat Jul 25, 2020 3:05 pm
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: The Captain Trips Anxiety thread
- Replies: 1521
- Views: 40863
Re: The Captain Trips Anxiety thread
“One great thing about being this tall is that the only people I could catch COVID from are the Houston Rockets .” [wild applause] “And lucky for me, they’re all in Florida right now!!!” [raucous applause, a commotion that threatens the building’s foundation] “Thank you ladies and gentlemen you’ve ...
- Sat Jul 25, 2020 9:06 am
- Forum: The Swamp
- Topic: The Captain Trips Anxiety thread
- Replies: 1521
- Views: 40863
Re: The Captain Trips Anxiety thread
I guess I will post this here because its only sort of Corona related. I have a show wednesday at Houston Improv, and its sold out. I am feeling a whole hell of a lot of pressure to come out and perform well, which sucks because i haven't even gotten to open mic since march. I'm going to be rusty wi...