The Swamp

Posted: **Tue Sep 23, 2014 8:44 am**

mister d wrote:Harper left a single poop on the floor for my wife to walk downstairs to this AM. Something is amiss, fellas.

As in, "where'd Harper leave the rest of this"?

Posted: **Tue Sep 23, 2014 8:59 am**

More the seemingly organized poop sabotage going on here.

Posted: **Tue Sep 23, 2014 9:44 am**

POOP STILL ON FLOOR!

Posted: **Tue Sep 23, 2014 9:47 am**

The other day I am at the urinal at work, and the guy in the stall next to the urinal dropped the worst smelling deuce. Horrendous, like he is clearly not well. I'm holding my breath because it is too foul to breathe, when his phone goes off, full volume, Whitney Houston. "Anddddd IIIIII-eeee-IIII will always love youuuuuuu-ooooh-oooohhh." I was at the end of my breath and did a sputtering laugh. I felt bad, but come on. What man has that as his ringtone and blasts it that loud?

Posted: **Tue Sep 23, 2014 9:57 am**

rass wrote:POOP STILL ON FLOOR!

Wait...are Rass and Mr. D a couple?

Posted: **Tue Sep 23, 2014 12:15 pm**

POOP. STILL. ON. FLOOR.

BUT. Wait...if you sort of squint, and look for it...

HOLY SHIT!

Posted: **Tue Sep 23, 2014 12:17 pm**

AB_skin_test wrote:
rass wrote:POOP STILL ON FLOOR!

Wait...are Rass and Mr. D a couple?

The question is how can mister d, with a 2?, 3?, year old running around the house, be sure that the blame falls on the poor dog.

Posted: **Tue Sep 23, 2014 12:27 pm**

Don't play coy like you don't know our daughter's age.

Posted: **Thu Nov 06, 2014 4:06 pm**

I'm in the bathroom reading the paper and in the stall next to me the phone goes off. He starts talking. It goes on for a minute or two.

I'm about to leave but think to myself, if I stand up and the toilet flushes I'll blow his cover. So I wait a bit and continue to read the rest of the paper.

Then he drops another huge load. ah well guess it didn't matter. I can leave now.

Posted: **Thu Nov 06, 2014 4:12 pm**

Back at my first job there was a guy from the floor--I never learned his identity, since he was always already in the stall each time I entered the bathroom and still there when I left--who would...let me see how to phrase this...vocalize his relief at the emptying of his bowels to near-orgasmic levels.

Posted: **Thu Nov 06, 2014 4:55 pm**

Johnny Carwash wrote:Back at my first job there was a guy from the floor--I never learned his identity, since he was always already in the stall each time I entered the bathroom and still there when I left--who would...let me see how to phrase this...vocalize his relief at the emptying of his bowels to near-orgasmic levels.

You sure it was his bowels he was emptying?

Posted: **Thu Nov 06, 2014 5:00 pm**

degenerasian wrote:I'm in the bathroom reading the paper and in the stall next to me the phone goes off. He starts talking. It goes on for a minute or two.

I'm about to leave but think to myself, if I stand up and the toilet flushes I'll blow his cover. So I wait a bit and continue to read the rest of the paper.

Then he drops another huge load. ah well guess it didn't matter. I can leave now.

I think this means something very different in America.

Posted: **Thu Nov 06, 2014 6:28 pm**

Went to school today to sit on on three lectures of the prerequisite to the course that I teach in the winter semester.

Second class ends, and I hit the urinal. While I'm finishing, I see a kid come out of the stall (and it smelled like he "dropped a load" as we say in Canada) holding a wrapped sub from the food court.

He looks at the sink, looks at me and leaves without washing.

He was sitting in the front row of the next class, and the sub was gone - already working it's e coli magic in his innards. You'd better believe that I'll be handling his homework with tongs.

Posted: **Thu Nov 06, 2014 6:41 pm**

maybe he'll fail.

Posted: **Thu Nov 06, 2014 7:00 pm**

degenerasian wrote:maybe he'll fail.

But then he may end up working as a fast food cook.

Posted: **Thu Nov 06, 2014 7:02 pm**

mister d wrote:
degenerasian wrote:I'm in the bathroom reading the paper and in the stall next to me the phone goes off. He starts talking. It goes on for a minute or two.

I'm about to leave but think to myself, if I stand up and the toilet flushes I'll blow his cover. So I wait a bit and continue to read the rest of the paper.

Then he drops another huge load. ah well guess it didn't matter. I can leave now.
I think this means something very different in America.

Just ask Dan Girardi

Posted: **Fri Nov 07, 2014 10:19 am**

unsure where this goes best, so lets see.

there's some 400+ people on the floor, the building takes up a city block -- near as i can tell there are four bathrooms on the floor (not counting the exec suites).. one is relatively close to me, the others require planning..
the one by me.. two urinals, two stalls, three sinks (sorry, no drawing)

the one stall in the corner... since i've been here, has spent 5+months covered up in plastic.. they've 'fixed' it several times, but never lasts (union building!!).. at some point, every couple of weeks , someone will walk in, see the one stall in use, rip off the plastic off the 'broken' one... use it and proceed to flush.. fortunately i've never been present when that happens (so i'm assuming here).. but i've walked in AFTER ... poop on the floor? fuck no. Shit everywhere in that stall, out the door, on the wall.. the toilet explodes!

guess i shouldn't be surprised.
for three months the sink in one of the kitchens.. lost its the handle and was replaced with a pen inserted... finally one carpetenter and two plumbers managed to remove the panel under the sink to replace it.. would've taken any of the swamp brethren no more then 30mins (plus the trip to home depot/lowes/hardware store) to do it.

rant? nah. fascinated by lack of movement, acceptance by the populace and disgusted whenever it happens.
carry on.

Posted: **Fri Nov 07, 2014 10:22 am**

Our bathrooms here in Houston are delightful, elflaco.

Posted: **Fri Nov 07, 2014 10:33 am**

Swamp Rule #2: Never flush the exploding toilet.

Posted: **Fri Nov 07, 2014 10:44 am**

The Sybian wrote:Swamp Rule #2: Never flush the exploding toilet.

You know what...I think that might be Rule #0.

Posted: **Fri Nov 07, 2014 10:47 am**

that's the thing.. five months! and yet someone keeps on ripping off the plastic, and then flushing ...imagine he must be running out of there and timing it so no one else is in the bathroom.

Posted: **Fri Nov 07, 2014 10:48 am**

Giff wrote:Our bathrooms here in Houston are delightful, elflaco.

i'll take your word for it.

Posted: **Fri Jan 30, 2015 9:24 am**

Dude in the stall next to me went to the toilet paper for at least six wipes. 2-3 seconds of gathering paper and using it. If you notice how much the guy next to you is getting toilet paper it's a lot of toilet paper.

Posted: **Fri Jan 30, 2015 12:30 pm**

One of my co-workers is a vigorous wiper. It sounds like he's sanding drywall in there.

Posted: **Fri Jan 30, 2015 12:37 pm**

I don't take 2-3 seconds to gather (because I'm a folder, not an animal) but I go over 5.5 wipes more often than not.

Posted: **Fri Jan 30, 2015 12:48 pm**

One Ply toilet paper is literally worse than homicide, racism, and Nancy Grace combined.

Posted: **Fri Jan 30, 2015 2:22 pm**

Is there anything more horrifying than helplessly watching your clogged toilet overflow?

Posted: **Fri Jan 30, 2015 2:27 pm**

P.D.X. wrote:Is there anything more horrifying than helplessly watching your clogged toilet overflow?

It happening at someone else's house.

Posted: **Fri Jan 30, 2015 2:47 pm**

BSF21 wrote:One Ply toilet paper is literally worse than homicide, racism, and Nancy Grace combined.

A bit of hyperbole, but not that much. 3 ply isn't a luxury - it is a necessity. Never forget my first night in England 25 years ago or so. The toilet paper in my room looked and felt like the paper that butchers use to wrap meat. Any country where the people's tender areas are subjected to that sort of punishment is not civilized.

Posted: **Fri Jan 30, 2015 2:58 pm**

P.D.X. wrote:Is there anything more horrifying than helplessly watching your clogged toilet overflow?

That's the reason that when I have to replace supply valves I replace the old ones with the ones that shut off with only a quarter turn.

Posted: **Thu Feb 05, 2015 12:37 pm**

Cross-posted from the "CUBE LIFE" thread...

rass wrote:The temp (older gentleman) covering for our normal part-time receptionist (older lady) is wearing a sweet manatee-patterned belt today.

He walked out of a bathroom stall just a bit ago, said "Hi <Rass>" to me as I stood at the urinal, turned and walked out without washing his hands. Three doors, all pull to open, on the way back to the office...

Posted: **Thu Feb 05, 2015 12:39 pm**

"That's his right!!!!!!!"

Posted: **Thu Feb 05, 2015 12:43 pm**

I F'd up and let the guy who never washes his hands borrow my favorite pen the other day (to fill out my super bowl square pool).

He was also pumping the keg at our monthly mixer last month...

Posted: **Thu Feb 05, 2015 12:46 pm**

Keg wrote:He was also pumping the keg at our monthly mixer last month...

Posted: **Thu Feb 05, 2015 12:47 pm**

Damnit!!

Posted: **Thu Feb 05, 2015 3:16 pm**

mister d wrote:"That's his right!!!!!!!"

Jon Stewart making fun of Senator Tom Tillis

Posted: **Wed Mar 11, 2015 12:05 pm**

Someone is peeing at one of the vessels when you walk in. Do you wait outside or just go pee in the empty vessel. (This is a sports bar if that matters)

IMG_8228 by [url=https://www.flickr.com/people/7724369@N05/]

Posted: **Wed Mar 11, 2015 12:10 pm**

Wait outside.

Posted: **Wed Mar 11, 2015 12:28 pm**

I bet you guys hate trough urinals also.

Posted: **Wed Mar 11, 2015 12:40 pm**

P.D.X. wrote:I bet you guys hate trough urinals also.

Stepping over a dude to get to the bowl to piss seems sub-optimal.

The Swamp

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