The Swamp

mister d wrote: ↑Wed Nov 20, 2019 2:05 pm Hey Giff, what should we call covertly setting up a camera aimed at the bed?

BANG

BANG

BANG

bangbangbangbangbangbangbangbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang

I was going to go with "banging the trash can", but I feel that is a candidate to replace "slumpbuster" in the vernacular.

Too on the nose.

mister d wrote: ↑Wed Nov 20, 2019 2:05 pm Hey Giff, what should we call covertly setting up a camera aimed at the bed?

"The entire city of Houston cumming"

Do a Biggio one!

I assume that's when you thrust away for 10 minutes past anyone's enjoyment because you want to finish?

mister d wrote: ↑Wed Nov 20, 2019 3:33 pm I assume that's when you thrust away for 10 minutes past anyone's enjoyment because you want to finish?

With a mind-blowing orgasm for both at the end though.

You: "Hooray I did it I am the man."
Your partner, relieved you're willing to quit now: "That's nice. Good for you."

It was actually the guys at home masturbating to the video who said that.

Well this is something.

This thread is crazy.

Wheat Thins boxes have been redesigned to get rid of the bottom flap. Cereal, etc. to follow, assuredly.

DSafetyGuy wrote: ↑Tue Dec 10, 2019 3:31 pm Wheat Thins boxes have been redesigned to get rid of the bottom flap. Cereal, etc. to follow, assuredly.

In theory this sounds great, but it's gonna make it more of a pain in the ass to recycle.

brian wrote: ↑Tue Dec 10, 2019 4:24 pm

DSafetyGuy wrote: ↑Tue Dec 10, 2019 3:31 pm Wheat Thins boxes have been redesigned to get rid of the bottom flap. Cereal, etc. to follow, assuredly.

In theory this sounds great, but it's gonna make it more of a pain in the ass to recycle.

The box flaps are glued together on the sides, so it still breaks down flat easily. Can you elaborate on the recycling part? I am genuinely curious.

DSafetyGuy wrote: ↑Wed Dec 11, 2019 10:31 am

brian wrote: ↑Tue Dec 10, 2019 4:24 pm

DSafetyGuy wrote: ↑Tue Dec 10, 2019 3:31 pm Wheat Thins boxes have been redesigned to get rid of the bottom flap. Cereal, etc. to follow, assuredly.

In theory this sounds great, but it's gonna make it more of a pain in the ass to recycle.

The box flaps are glued together on the sides, so it still breaks down flat easily. Can you elaborate on the recycling part? I am genuinely curious.

No, that was what I was referring to. If it can be broke down just as easily, it's good.

Came home from picking up the kids at school (cello is "too big" for the bus), which included navigating the parking lot, which is not large enough for every car at pick up time and features people who are illegally parked and driving in the wrong direction. In my annoyed mood, I got to have a brief discussion with my wife, in which I learned that she put a Tupperware lid away because "it wasn't dirty" in spite of spending two weeks in use in the fridge.

Sigh.

There’s hot and then there’s Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface hot.

brian wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2019 6:46 pm There’s hot and then there’s Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface hot.

Incredible. Not sure any of those silk dresses would be allowed today.

brian wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2019 6:46 pm There’s hot and then there’s Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface hot.

But her womb is so polluted.

You know, I think "Scarface"holds up as a comedy in many ways. Pacino is so far over the top that he can;t even see normal.

brian wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2019 6:46 pm There’s hot and then there’s Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface hot.

Elvira from Baltimore!

White people covering “This Christmas” is a travesty.

White a cappella groups covering “This Christmas” is a war crime.

2019

Miss Teen USA, Miss America, Miss USA, Miss World and Miss Universe are all black. They are very inspirational.

degenerasian wrote: ↑Sat Dec 14, 2019 5:08 pm 2019

Miss Teen USA, Miss America, Miss USA, Miss World and Miss Universe are all black. They are very inspirational.

Black women can be vapid human mannequins too!

Underrated Seinfeld minor character: the "You double-dipped the chip!" guy.

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Mon Dec 16, 2019 4:24 pm Underrated Seinfeld minor character: the "You double-dipped the chip!" guy.

The All Fantasy Everything did a recent draft of 'Secondary Seinfeld Characters'. So people like Frank Costanza, Bob Sacamano, and Kenny Banya. One high value pick was the 'Gay Street Toughs' from the Soup Nazi episode.

I saw a bunch of huge 350 pound football players eating shitty pasta (Buca de Beppo), a President impeached and a grown man piss himself in public so today was a pretty full day.

A report from my Work Division Christmas party last night: This years winner in the 'Inappropriate Songs to Karaoke' Category (last years winner was 'I Want Your Sex'...sung by a senior VP who prefaced it with 'I hope no one from HR is here'): The winner is 'Gold Digger' by Kanye West...done by 3 very white people. Yeah...doing a song with multiple drops of the N-Word is not a good thing.

I did Holiday In Cambodia at a work karaoke thing a couple of weeks ago, but changed "n-----s" to "n-words"

I did "The Humpty Dance" at a bar this summer and I didn't even say "black people" at the end.

I did say "Samoans", though.

DSafetyGuy wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 4:09 pm I did "The Humpty Dance" at a bar this summer and I didn't even say "black people" at the end.

I did say "Samoans", though.

I think you’re safe there

I’ll be impressed if one of you word sub-ers can get through Pogo’s verse on 2Pac’s “I Just Don’t Give a Fuck”.

Immediate grounds for divorce: when your household usually buys the select-a-size paper towels but your wife comes home with the regular paper towels. There is nothing more disappointing than unrolling the towels and having it seem like forever before the perforation appears...

Aggressively co-sign. Same with a goddamn 24 pack of the wrong toilet paper.

mister d wrote: ↑Thu Jan 02, 2020 2:24 pm Aggressively co-sign. Same with a goddamn 24 pack of the wrong toilet paper.

I am not a rich man, but I will never cut corners when it comes to toilet paper.

I think I've been our buyer for so long she just assumed "target brand" was a singular entity. Well, its not.

It's Quilted Northern or GTFO. Charmin rips when I use it.

Johnnie wrote: ↑Thu Jan 02, 2020 11:12 pm It's Quilted Northern or GTFO. Charmin rips when I use it.

This man knows what he speaks of.

govmentchedda wrote: ↑Fri Jan 03, 2020 10:12 am

Johnnie wrote: ↑Thu Jan 02, 2020 11:12 pm It's Quilted Northern or GTFO. Charmin rips when I use it.

This man knows what he speaks of.

We a Charmin house. How hard are y'all wiping your ass? Maybe get yous some babywipes if you're going in all aggressive.

Perhaps I have razor blades for ass hair, but give me a soft, but non-disintegrating brand of TP any day.

Team Northern here.

Charmin extra soft or Cottonelle ultra.

Got me thinking - what are the most essential items on your shopping list?

1) Toilet paper
2) Coffee
3) Everything else