Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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DC47
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by DC47 »

L-Jam3 wrote:If you don't mind me switching to a lighter story:

My yungins love Uno, so we play every Friday night. Ava (8) hits Leo (5) with a skip.

Leo: Fuck!
My youngest and I created the word "diot" to replace the one with the i in the first position. My wife forbade that word, and my daughter couldn't stop using it. She delights in calling me 'diot', sometimes to the mystification of others. Big smile on her face -- it's an allowed word!
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by Giff »

DC47 wrote: For several days she asked questions about her classmate that indicated she didn't really get it. Things like, "Will he be back?" "Where is he now?" "Does he miss his parents?"
I envision questions like this from my 5-year-old and it just breaks my heart.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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Yes.

Perhaps moreso from a 15 year old girl. It reveals just how at sea she is in life. She's dealt directly with death many times in her life. For example, her grandmother. Her horse. Her friend's dog. But there's something about it she can't grasp.

Of course, there's something about death none of us can grasp. What it is. What happens next. We fake our way around it. But she can't begin to even comprehend the basic logistics of death. I am tormented by how she will experience the death of her parents. That's troubling for us all. Will it be especially devastating to someone who can't really understand the basics of the end of earthly existence?

I've considering joining a traditional church and using it to brain-wash my daughter on the existence of heaven. It wouldn't take long, given her lack of critical faculties. Simple, pretty stories about death that help resolve existential dread. It might the be best solution.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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I hope you know I didn't mean to be insensitive at all. But could see if you took it that way.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by DC47 »

I agreed with you. Insensitivity didn't cross my mind. I accept who my youngest daughter is, as much as I'm able. I don't want the facts of her existence to require others to dance around this reality and thus have to limit how they examine their own family life.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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L-Jam3 wrote: Leo: THUCK!

Me: Leo, what did I just say?

Leo: Dad, I didn't say it. I used the better option.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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The 10 year old finished a 5K in 22:23 this afternoon, coming in 3rd overall (1st in her age group) out of 1049 registered runners (many of them young girls, to be fair).

Then played a 40 minute indoor soccer game a couple of hours later.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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My 18 year-old daughter recently got some pals to take her to a Pacific beach on a Friday afternoon. After playing around there with them, she took off inland into the mountains for a solo 40 mile backpack. On Sunday she met other friends at a restaurant and got a lift back to campus.

Just another college weekend despite taking a course overload that includes multiple science classes, at a school that is reputed to be kind of tough. I like her spirit and priorities. It's a cool feeling to genuinely want to be more like your teenage daughter.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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I'm exhausted just thinking about DC's daughter's and Rass's daughter's activities.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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Second or third ... pass in the last few weeks.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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mister d wrote:Second or third ... pass in the last few weeks.
In all seriousness, I would like to say that I appreciate you not succumbing to your baser impulses and keeping this thread clean. To insert that sort of humor into a thread about kids just wouldn't be cool. It's great that we're able salvage a small oasis of untainted ground in here.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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As avid readers of the youth soccer politics thread know, my daughter won her first soccer tournament a couple weeks ago. Well, I won it through my coaching genius, she was just the conduit enacting my magic. It was a U-8 3v3 tournament, no goalie, and a tiny goal. She is an absolute beast on the field, plays with intensity and learns extremely quickly. Usually just need to tell her something once, and she does it. I complimented her on following my instruction, and her response was, "well I want to get better." My son's response to instruction from me was usually a tantrum of "I know what I'm doing!" Followed by throwing his bat, glove or ball and storming off. She even insists on watching the EPL review show every week, because she "needs to learn new moves and ways to score." What impresses me most is her natural instincts. Maybe it comes from watching games on TV, but she just knows where to move into space to get open for a pass, and falls back to cover for a defender when they go forward, positions herself goalside of opponents when covering them. None of her teammates are anywhere near this, which sometimes frustrates her.

She scores a ton of goals every week, but always hustles back on D. Last tournament our cumulative scores over 4 games was 29-14. I think she scored 24, give or take. Her specialty is running to her right, full speed, and scoring from some ridiculously tight angles. After one of the games, the ref came over to me and said, "that girl never misses!" I realize how over the top my brag-rant is, but I've been sitting on it for a year now, and other than telling the grandparents, this thread is the only place I brag.


Some pics from the fall season. Not sure why they shrunk on photobucket, and look like shit enlarged:


Image


Image


Image


Image
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by rass »

Awesome man. The BH travel teams the kids have played against are usually pretty good, so either you guys are a hotbed for soccer or the club training and coaching is good. Good luck.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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The Sybian wrote:As avid readers of the youth soccer politics thread know, my daughter won her first soccer tournament a couple weeks ago. Well, I won it through my coaching genius, ... I complimented her on following my instruction, and her response was, "well I want to get better." My son's response to instruction from me was usually a tantrum of "I know what I'm doing!" Followed by throwing his bat, glove or ball and storming off.
Uhhh ... pretty sure your son is right!
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by govmentchedda »

Nice work, Syb!
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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That top picture of her is great. Shoots like a champ!
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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Many things come easy to our oldest. She's smart, effortlessly athletic, competitive and driven. She's in the middle of her first season of indoor track, and has been doing well, and we thought enjoying herself. She was due to compete in her forth meet this morning, and just completely melted down prior to her first race (1500M). She was worried about what would happen if she ran bad, or didn't feel good partway through, or she didn't feel well now, and she never liked the 1500 (to paraphrase her various complaints).

After getting supporting speeches from us, her coaches and teammates, and going back and forth from the starting area 3 or 4 times, we and her coaches told her that if she didn't run this race she couldn't compete the rest of the day, including a 4x400M relay which would leave her team hanging. She didn't run, so we left.

We can't tell how much of this was internalized, how much from us, or what. We're certainly excited for her, and talk to her about it and enjoy seeing her compete, but we don't think we're going overboard ourselves. Outside of her team practices, we don't have her doing any extra work. No special diets or routines or trainers or whatever Marinovichian thing you can think of. She has been successful early on, and I wonder if she is feeling pressure to continue that, or has an unrealistic expectation to improve and set a PR every meet. I'm worried that a desire to be the best is going to result in herself not challenging herself by trying things that she's not a given to dominate. Track doesn't really let you hide the way team sports might, so while you're running you know everyone is watching you, and that even when yo do your very best you can still lose, and sometimes the difference can be very stark.

She ran a great 1500 last week (5:18 as an official 11yo even though she is still 10), but she came in third in that race, and maybe it took a lot out of her. Maybe she was scared because she didn't think she could match that again. Maybe she was scared because for the first time someone else from her team, a girl who has a couple of extra seasons under her belt but who has very comparable times to my kid, would be running the 1500, too. Maybe she didn't sleep enough last, staying until 10 in NYC for my sister-in-law's 50th birthday and then getting up early so we could downstate for an 8am warmup this morning. Maybe she just didn't feel well (she's a kid who has never napped since she was 1 and right now she's asleep on the couch). Maybe we didn't handle something correctly. Maybe all of it.

I'm just worried she's going give up and not give herself a chance at something.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by DC47 »

No matter how "smart, effortlessly athletic, competitive and driven" a ten-year old seems to be, this is 1) not the whole picture, 2) only partially true only in a specific set of circumstances, and 3) temporary.

But very few parents will ever believe this. We're programmed otherwise.

My advice is to down-play all that happened. Don't try to help her learn a lesson. Or tell her what she should have done. Don't try to keep her from 'giving up' (and she will have many athletic opportunities in life.) If her coach is prone to any of this, and you can't control his behavior towards your daughter, consider pulling her from the team for awhile even if she wants to continue.

If it's remotely true, consider telling your kid about something you did in a competitive situation that was inept. Especially if you had some kind of emotional break-down or done a momentary choke-job. Most of us who have been involved in competitive sports have had several, if we honestly think back on our 'careers.'

If you want something to think about in terms of self critique, consider whether you have said too many positive things about her achievements, in track and other domains. You may have nothing to do wither her implosion at the track meet. But if you've done anything wrong, it might be the above. Kid's still-forming psyches are delicate domains where any kind of material -- certainly including praise and innocent parental pride -- from an important source can be converted into damaging cognitive structures. Like excessively high self-expectations and imagined parental expectations. Or just over-thinking a situation.

With my minor soccer prodigy, I established rules for myself that restricted to perhaps a ridiculous degree the extent to which I could be viewed as anything but a neutral presence. For example, I never mentioned her scoring a goal. And she scored some lovely ones. A goal was only discussed if she brought it up. Further, when I stopped coaching her teams, I vowed that she would never hear my voice while she was on a soccer field.

My 2 cents. Parenting is tough. Kids make it tougher.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by rass »

Thanks DC.

She ended up getting progressively sicker as the day went on, eventually developing a nasty cough and fever and has yet to go to school this week (pediatrician says it is a flu-like virus). She has since told us that she does want to continue to race, including the longer distance events. This was so out of character for her that we're willing to roll with it for now.

I think what I need to take from this is to remember that I can't assume I know what she is thinking (or lock her into a particular "character"), because I think I do that sometimes, and I definitely don't know.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by Ryan »

Tell her I used to do the exact same thing before baseball games and look at me now.


(Coaching Rookie League 6-year-olds and sometimes missing the ball entirely while hitting them grounders)
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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rass wrote:I think what I need to take from this is to remember that I can't assume I know what she is thinking (or lock her into a particular "character"), because I think I do that sometimes, and I definitely don't know.
Wait until she is a teenager!

(Glad she reconsidered.)
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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sancarlos wrote:
rass wrote:I think what I need to take from this is to remember that I can't assume I know what she is thinking (or lock her into a particular "character"), because I think I do that sometimes, and I definitely don't know.
Wait until she is a teenager!

(Glad she reconsidered.)

I disagree. Don't wait til she is a teenager. Move far away now.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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So came home to see a press release issued by my kid's elementary school. They take part in a competition called Word Masters (http://www.wordmasterschallenge.com). Something like 150,000 4th graders take this test on analogy and verbal reasoning. My son scored a perfect score. Only 22 4th graders got a perfect score in the entire nation. My boy was one of them.

and in perfect wlu_lax form.....they misspelled my son's name in the press release.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by rass »

Congrats wlulax.


And scratch my last post above. I think she's done with track for now. She has put way more pressure on herself than this calls for and is mentally unable to compete.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by sancarlos »

congrats, wlu.

Sorry, rass. But, maybe you'll look back on this as a real positive thing in her her development.
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Congrads, that's seriosly awesome.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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wlu_lax6 wrote:So came home to see a press release issued by my kid's elementary school. They take part in a competition called Word Masters (http://www.wordmasterschallenge.com). Something like 150,000 4th graders take this test on analogy and verbal reasoning. My son scored a perfect score. Only 22 4th graders got a perfect score in the entire nation. My boy was one of them.

and in perfect wlu_lax form.....they misspelled my son's name in the press release.
Very impressive. Congrats to little lax.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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wlu_lax6 wrote:So came home to see a press release issued by my kid's elementary school. They take part in a competition called Word Masters (http://www.wordmasterschallenge.com). Something like 150,000 4th graders take this test on analogy and verbal reasoning. My son scored a perfect score. Only 22 4th graders got a perfect score in the entire nation. My boy was one of them.

and in perfect wlu_lax form.....they misspelled my son's name in the press release.
That is awesome.

My 5-year-old through out a "Trump Sucks" randomly the other night. Love her.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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Older one (first trumpeter from the right) had his winter Jazz ensemble (and wind ensemble, but I won't subject you to that) last night. I thought the horns sounded pretty tight. Their drummers are fuckawful.







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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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Nice, bfj.

As long as we're bragging about our offspring, I'll note that I'm constantly amazed at my daughter. She was quietly tapping on here laptop for a long time one night over the holiday break. I asked her if she was chatting with friends. She said no, but since she had some free time, she decided to teach herself HTML, and had been working on it almost nonstop for a couple days, mixed in with taking practice tests to get her learner's driving permit, and taking an online typing class - all without any parental prompting. Mind you, this is a kid who takes no computer classes at school and has parents who basically know nothing about the subject. She works part-time three days a week at a math tutoring company, and one more day a week donating her time tutoring at the local middle school. She takes both Bass and guitar lessons and gets straight A's (boom) in a rigorous college prep schedule.

When I was her age, I was a fuckoff and spent most of my time drinking beer/smoking pot/listening to bad music/masturbating (not necessarily in that order of frequency).
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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sancarlos wrote:Nice, bfj.

As long as we're bragging about our offspring, I'll note that I'm constantly amazed at my daughter. She was quietly tapping on here laptop for a long time one night over the holiday break. I asked her if she was chatting with friends. She said no, but since she had some free time, she decided to teach herself HTML, and had been working on it almost nonstop for a couple days, mixed in with taking practice tests to get her learner's driving permit, and taking an online typing class - all without any parental prompting. Mind you, this is a kid who takes no computer classes at school and has parents who basically know nothing about the subject. She works part-time three days a week at a math tutoring company, and one more day a week donating her time tutoring at the local middle school. She takes both Bass and guitar lessons and gets straight A's (boom) in a rigorous college prep schedule.

When I was her age, I was a fuckoff and spent most of my time drinking beer/smoking pot/listening to bad music/masturbating (not necessarily in that order of frequency).


The rest of the time you just wasted.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by The Sybian »

A_B wrote:
sancarlos wrote:Nice, bfj.

As long as we're bragging about our offspring, I'll note that I'm constantly amazed at my daughter. She was quietly tapping on here laptop for a long time one night over the holiday break. I asked her if she was chatting with friends. She said no, but since she had some free time, she decided to teach herself HTML, and had been working on it almost nonstop for a couple days, mixed in with taking practice tests to get her learner's driving permit, and taking an online typing class - all without any parental prompting. Mind you, this is a kid who takes no computer classes at school and has parents who basically know nothing about the subject. She works part-time three days a week at a math tutoring company, and one more day a week donating her time tutoring at the local middle school. She takes both Bass and guitar lessons and gets straight A's (boom) in a rigorous college prep schedule.

When I was her age, I was a fuckoff and spent most of my time drinking beer/smoking pot/listening to bad music/masturbating (not necessarily in that order of frequency).


The rest of the time you just wasted.
Ha! Sancarlos summed up my Senior year of high school, except the music was gooder.

My son (10) was in a super pissy mood earlier this week. I called him out on it, and his response was, "of course I'm in a horrible mood, Trump is going to be President this week!" I try not to talk politics in front of the kids, he gets this all from school. Last Spring he did an after school writing club. The kids wrote poems, and on the last day read them to the parents. One of the poems had to start with "If I was..." Several boys wrote "If I was Donald Trump..." Every one of them was brutally insulting, but not wrong. The teacher was really embarrassed and had to explain that she had no influence on those opinions, and never discussed politics. Very relieved to see every single parent laughing and nodding in agreement. My town votes Republican, and may have voted Trump, but there is a wide chasm between the elderly community, the families that have lived in town for 150+ years, and the newer residents who primarily work in NYC or professional jobs. Driving my son and a friend somewhere, his friend said, "I just realized, Trump could be President for our entire middle school and high school years. That's scary."
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by rass »

The Sybian wrote:I try not to talk politics in front of the kids, he gets this all from school.
Image
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by mister d »

The Sybian wrote:My town votes Republican, and may have voted Trump, but there is a wide chasm between the elderly community, the families that have lived in town for 150+ years, and the newer residents who primarily work in NYC or professional jobs.
I looked it up a month or two ago and it was like 48/47 one way or the other.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by HaulCitgo »

I still do that. Pray for my offspring.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by The Sybian »

Last night my son saw my screen as I was reading an article about ethics violations filed against Trump. He said he was afraid Pence would be worse than Trump, because Pence wants to kill gay people. Man, did I think that was going to be a long, complicated conversation. I knew he had a grasp of what it means to be gay, and it took him and my daughter 5 seconds to go from "how can 2 men marry each other, doesn't there have to be a bride?" to fully accepting gay marriage and moving on. I explained that Pence doesn't want to kill anyone, but that he believes being gay is wrong. I absolutely love that it was so much harder to explain why Pence or anyone else would care who other people love and want to marry, than it was to explain that some men love other men, and some women love other women.

The funny part was when he said he would feel weird if another boy had a crush on him, and he had to tell the boy it wasn't mutual. I asked how he would feel if a girl had a crush on him, and he was equally uncomfortable with the idea of a girl having a crush on him. Some of his friends are starting to have crushes, but he isn't there.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

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Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by The Sybian »

Instagram sucks [because I can't figure out how to embed it here], but I just saw this. My daughter won the shooting competition at her soccer camp a couple weeks ago.

Image


She was at a different camp this week, which is really small, mostly kids who play on the best of the regional select teams (PDA). She is the youngest kid there, and mixed with boys. I know 2 of the girls in her group play for the select team and are a year older, so I asked her how she did compared to those girls. I absolute love her response, "they are good, but I can tell they don't love playing soccer the way I love it." She said she watches how other kids play, and you can see if they love the sport, or are just good at it.

While I am bragging, her first camp of the summer, she was proud that they moved her into an older group. She is 8, but they moved her from the 7-9 into a group with 10-14 year olds. I thought she would have been upset, but she said the 14 year old was really nice to her, and she was proud playing with older kids. I think the cute French brothers in the 10-14 group helped. It's funny, she was telling me the older French boy does a lot of scissor step-overs, and suddenly she does, too. I think impressing boys is the motivational tool I can use to push her.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by mister d »

No downside there.
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Re: Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

Post by rass »

mister d wrote:No downside there.


Hahahahaha.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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