Proud Parental Unit Crowing Thread

[DC47]

In utero

[rass]

My second grade daughter wrote the following for a book report:

Arthur says to Emily you were right, I was in your pond. Please tell Mr. Blueberry that I am real.

The teacher made the following corrections:

Arthur says to Emily, "you were right, I was in your pond: Please tell Mr. Blueberry that I am real."

I thought about the quotes when she was doing the work, but I know they haven't covered that concept (and probably won't this year or even next), so I didn't ask her to include them. I think the colon is at best unnecessary, at worst wrong. Am I being too touchy to get pissed about her losing points for not including the quotes or the colon?


BONUS QUESTION: Name the book

[Shirley]

I don't think that colon's right. It should be a period.

[sancarlos]

I don't think that colon's right. It should be a period.

Agreed.

On a semi-related subject, my daughter is in eighth grade and the amount of writing she has to do now is surprisingly heavy. And, it's apparently going to get a lot heavier. Last night we went to an informational meeting at the high school she'll attend next year, to learn about their International Baccalaureate program. Holy shit. The amount of work required in that progam would keep any kid out of trouble, because she'll spend her whole time doing homework.

[Sabo]

I don't think that colon's right. It should be a period.

Agreed.

On a semi-related subject, my daughter is in eighth grade and the amount of writing she has to do now is surprisingly heavy. And, it's apparently going to get a lot heavier. Last night we went to an informational meeting at the high school she'll attend next year, to learn about their International Baccalaureate program. Holy shit. The amount of work required in that progam would keep any kid out of trouble, because she'll spend her whole time doing homework.

I took some IB classes, but not the whole program. The workload for an IB class compared to an Advanced Placement class is profound. How many of us had to write 20 page research papers that you had to defend in class while in high school? You will if you're in IB.

[kranepool]

I did, as a senior. "Prevailing Themes and Styles of Francesco Petrarch".

Safe to say the topic was selected on my behalf.

[Sabo]

I did, as a senior. "Prevailing Themes and Styles of Francesco Petrarch".

Safe to say the topic was selected on my behalf.

My paper was about the U.S. invasion of Grenada. I still remember some specific facts I learned about the invasion, such as the U.S. Army didn't have proper military maps of the island and had to use tourist maps when securing key parts of the island.

[Pruitt]

I don't think that colon's right. It should be a period.

Agreed.

On a semi-related subject, my daughter is in eighth grade and the amount of writing she has to do now is surprisingly heavy. And, it's apparently going to get a lot heavier. Last night we went to an informational meeting at the high school she'll attend next year, to learn about their International Baccalaureate program. Holy shit. The amount of work required in that progam would keep any kid out of trouble, because she'll spend her whole time doing homework.

The colon is technically right, but really, it's grade two. That teacher is being a bit TOO pedantic.

Be thankful that your daughter is doing a lot of writing - I teach college kids, a number of whom have no concept of which version of "its" to use, and who just take wild guesses when it comes to the rules of capitalization.

I know a couple of youngsters who have come through the IB program. Great, well grounded kids.

And since this is the "Crowing" thread - my son just received ridiculously early acceptance at the Ontario College of Art and Design - his first choice for university and the best program in the country for Industrial Design. (At least that's what we're telling everyone.

[The Sybian]

My little princess is a master at passing gas on command. She finds it hilarious to wait until I pick her up, then let one rip and crack herself up saying, "Ha! I tooted on your arm!" When she rips a loud one, she'll raise her hand and laugh hard while slapping her knee. The other day while putting her in her car seat after daycare, out of the blue she tells me, "when I fart in school, I pretend it was someone else so my friends think it was them instead of me." That's my girl.

Less proud then funny, my daughter and one of her daycare friends constantly say they are going to marry each other. One day she told me that the boy is going to marry her no matter what. When I asked why, she said that she accidentally said something mean to him, and when she said she was sorry he told her that it is OK, because he is still going to marry her anyways. Then Tuesday was her birthday, so everyone was excited when she got there. We were standing right next to my son-in-law when another boy ran up and gave her a hug. The suitor looked up in a very cool, Luke Perry kind of way and said, "it's OK if you hug her, but she is mine."

[rass]

Wrong colon, Syb.

[howard]

I teach college kids, a number of whom … just take wild guesses when it comes to the rules of capitalization.

it's never Hurt me in my Career.

Syb is a tough act to follow, especially since I am not a parent. But I have a dear friend, since 14yo baseball who lives in New Hampshire and is practically family. I am close to both his teenage children, who treat me like an uncle, and they are outstanding young people. The boy was appointed (accepted) to West Point yesterday, a tough goal he has worked steadfastly toward since he was 12 or 13yo. I could not be much more proud than if he were my own son. (And I don't even like the military industrial complex.)

[rass]

Our family just earned it's first suspension. The 5 year old popped a classmate in the grill for annoying her. My wife had to pick her up from school and take her home.

[Giff]

Nice.

My almost three year old can now sing the Dana Carvey "Choppin' Brocoli" song. The "she chop UH" line gets us every single time.

[sancarlos]

Our family just earned it's first suspension. The 5 year old popped a classmate in the grill for annoying her. My wife had to pick her up from school and take her home.

Pretty sure the classmate had it coming.

[Jerloma]

I blame the parents.

[testuser2]

Our family just earned it's first suspension. The 5 year old popped a classmate in the grill for annoying her. My wife had to pick her up from school and take her home.

I'd blame the school. They should have a zero tolerance policy for grills. Pack or buy only. No cooking.

[Bensell]

Our family just earned it's first suspension. The 5 year old popped a classmate in the grill for annoying her. My wife had to pick her up from school and take her home.

I'd blame the school. They should have a zero tolerance policy for grills. Pack or buy only. No cooking.

If it was this kind of grill she should be rewarded:

[rass]

I blame the parents.

You're probably right. I'm going to have a very hard time confronting her with a straight face this evening.

[The Sybian]

I blame the parents.

You're probably right. I'm going to have a very hard time confronting her with a straight face this evening.

If one of your kids was going to get sent home for hitting, I would have bet the farm it was the older one.

[rass]

I blame the parents.

You're probably right. I'm going to have a very hard time confronting her with a straight face this evening.

If one of your kids was going to get sent home for hitting, I would have bet the farm it was the older one.

No way. The older one is an absolute angel in school. A model student in both her behavior and schoolwork. At home though...

[DC47]

Our 13 year old daughter has recently made good progress in using a glue stick on school projects, and is now learning to jump a horse over a rail set on the ground. Last week she took a shower by herself for the first time. She hasn't hit herself or me in four weeks -- close to her record. She's far more willing to do her homework this year than last year. That can be an oppressive daily battle, as any parent of a teen will tell you.

I'm pleased with all the progress she's making lately. She's certainly racking up a lot of prizes in our various sticker chart contests that encourage exercise, good behavior, extra math, playing the flute, and other things. I owe her several restaurant outings and treats from convenience stores. She typically chooses terrible restaurants and junk food we wouldn't otherwise have in the house. But I feel good when we do this -- she exults in her victories!

The 16 year old just finished her science fair project. Computational genomics methodology is her subject, guaranteeing that the science teachers who judge the fair will not award her top honors as it is way beyond their background. She is fine with this, even though she's spent many hours just on her write up and poster. Her attitude is a greater achievement than her actual project in my book. She also racked up a perfect ACT, with no test prep. She said studying for the test (which her peers have been doing for years) would be a waste of time as it was just about the test. Guess she was right.

She just made the first cut in an elite MIT summer science program selection process that is designed to identify the 50 top teen scientists. She's not likely to make it -- apparently no one is likely as they draw a big pool of mini-geniuses -- but she really wants to be selected to spend the summer at MIT. This is perhaps the first thing she's done (e.g., music, sports, academics) where she's not close to completely mellow about the outcome. I suppose this is a good thing. She's very non-competitive. For example, she typically doesn't know the score of her soccer games even when her teammates are weeping or exulting at the end because it's a 'big game.' Another example -- she doesn't want to visit colleges, just apply to some random set of elite ones and pick one with as little time spent as possible. Her peers are spending weeks on college visits and are going crazy is assessing the perfect fit. Her best friend spent winter break driving through blizzards with both parents to see colleges from Maine to Iowa. She learned valuable things like "Bowdoin is in a really dull small town and Chicago and Harvard are not."

I really like my daughter's non-competitiveness, at least most of the time. But I also like her apparent high level of concern about the MIT science program. She is likely to be disappointed. But it's a sign that science engages her enough that she -- for the first time? -- desperately wants to make the cut. Not for the prestige, but because this is her ticket to being around the very best at something she is enthralled by. I'm no scientist, but this seems amazingly cool for a 16 year old girl in today's culture. She may end up improving the smell of hair conditioner by utilizing nano particles, rather than curing cancer. But I like the direction her character is growing.

[howard]

The 16 year old just finished her science fair project. Computational genomics methodology is her subject, guaranteeing that the science teachers who judge the fair will not award her top honors as it is way beyond their background.

Could she explain computational genomics to me? I am working with a customer/strategic partner on developing a project in this area. I am completely lost--this is way beyond my background.

The kids who win these types of programs, including Westinghouse prizes, mostly do so based on the quality of the 'mentor' whose work they are piggybacking (and how well the teen articulates and presents their activities). Nothing wrong with that, it is an ideal way for gifted teens to get started. But they do not measure accurately; more like fan voting for an all-star team. Lots and lots of great players are left off the podium; they are still major leaguers and they still have great careers. That isn't even considering the gender problems for girls in science (and in everything else.)

Wonderful both your daughters are doing great things.

[DC47]

The 16 year old just finished her science fair project. Computational genomics methodology is her subject, guaranteeing that the science teachers who judge the fair will not award her top honors as it is way beyond their background.

Could she explain computational genomics to me? I am working with a customer/strategic partner on developing a project in this area. I am completely lost--this is way beyond my background.

Who knows? I've taught stats in universities, and she loses me in the computational end. I have no hope in the genetics theory end. I'll ask her if there is a good 'computational genomics for dummies' article out there. I should read that too.

The kids who win these types of programs, including Westinghouse prizes, mostly do so based on the quality of the 'mentor' whose work they are piggybacking (and how well the teen articulates and presents their activities). Nothing wrong with that, it is an ideal way for gifted teens to get started. But they do not measure accurately; more like fan voting for an all-star team. Lots and lots of great players are left off the podium; they are still major leaguers and they still have great careers. That isn't even considering the gender problems for girls in science (and in everything else.)

Until a couple years ago we had a major Pfizer research lab here, in addition to a little place called the University of Michigan. Kids' science fair projects were amazing. And a joke. I was once at the library, sitting next to a dad and son working on "his" project. The kid was no more than a notetaker for someone with a PhD.

Our standard joke here is the 5th grade project that contains this line: "Then I put the substance into the linear accelerator ..."

My daughters have never won a local science fair contest, even at the lowest level. We're proud of that. One year the eldest's project was to disassemble and try to identify the contents of owl pellets (which she first sterilized.) This was awesome on many levels. But not even close to meritorious in the science fair.

Wonderful both your daughters are doing great things.

It may seem odd to some, but out daughters' latest accomplishments are pretty much equally exciting to us. We are more worried about the future of the youngest, so whenever she reaches new high ground on anything we experience some relief from anxiety. And we're very proud of her because we know how much she has to overcome, emotionally and cognitively, to do something that appears as simple as taking a shower by herself.

In our new math it works like this: .50(crushing the manipulation of fractions) + .75(no slugging) = (MIT acceptance)X2

Or something.

[DC47]

Howard, my daughter recommends the following as mid-level (below PhD level) introductions to computational genomics.

The first is more focused on the medical uses of genomics. The second is an introduction to bioinformatics methods, of which computational genomics is a part. The third is a combination of both; she believes it's based on an actual MIT course.

https://www.coursera.org/course/genomicmedicine

https://www.coursera.org/course/bioinfomethods1

http://ocw.mit.edu/courses/health-scien ... fall-2002/

[rass]

Your kids (and you) are fucking awesome DC47.

Howard, my daughter recommends the following as mid-level (below PhD level) introductions to computational genomics.

The first is more focused on the medical uses of genomics. The second is an introduction to bioinformatics methods, of which computational genomics is a part. The third is a combination of both; she believes it's based on an actual MIT course.

https://www.coursera.org/course/genomicmedicine

https://www.coursera.org/course/bioinfomethods1

http://ocw.mit.edu/courses/health-scien ... fall-2002/

So.....is she going to have time to help the old man out with the next Swampcrash?

[DC47]

..... So.....is she going to have time to help the old man out with the next Swampcrash?

How do you think I got to be a first round draft pick?

She actually still loves Swampcrash, and was glad to hear it was back. She participated a few times back in the day. Nothing spectacular. What she's good at doesn't directly translate to the Swampcrash world. If she's around, maybe it would be fun to submit joint answers in the next round.

[DC47]

At dinner my eldest reported two new levels of travesty in the teen science fair world. Apparently kids are submitting projects that are done in University of Michigan labs, and using U-M printers to generate the posters, which prominently feature the U-M logo. Not that this is going to influence any judges to give the projects a high grade or anything.

Another story is that the local elite private school, where Bill Ford sent his kids, has a year-long class devoted to mentoring science fair participants. They line up U-M researchers for the kids, and guide them through the process over many months. I imagine some of them do adequate science projects. I don't know if they utilize the U-M logo too.

Daughter #1 finds this all pretty amusing. She will no doubt get her butt kicked by some of the defacto U-M/teen duos in the science fair. But tonight she also got the results of a prestigious national science exam. She is one of 600 or so to advance to the finals. No one can help you on this, so it's a bit more of an authentic test of something. She says the questions she missed were largely of the "name the parts of this parasitic wasp" type. She's not going to study for the finals as she doesn't care about this kind of knowledge, so she says she has no chance. She's probably right. There are a lot of teen math/science geniuses, many with serious Tiger parents spurring them on. They live for this kind of thing. She's a bit wistful though, as the winners get to spend a week or two in a lab at Purdue. This is her dream world. If she doesn't land a spot in the MIT labs this summer, she'll pursue any kind of low-level work in a U-M lab.

It must be pretty neat to have such a clear picture of what you want to do, and have it be considered productive by society, at the age of 16. A calling. And then to have a realistic chance to pursue it. Not many are so fortunate. At her age I was busy quitting everything I had ever been good at, in preparation for dropping out of high school to pursue my focus on depression and its notoriously close associates. So I just look at her with wonder. In addition to her looks and charm, this is yet another sign that I cannot be her biological father. My primary parenting job with her is "Don't get in the way of what's happening."

[rass]

..... So.....is she going to have time to help the old man out with the next Swampcrash?

How do you think I got to be a first round draft pick?

She actually still loves Swampcrash, and was glad to hear it was back. She participated a few times back in the day. Nothing spectacular. What she's good at doesn't directly translate to the Swampcrash world. If she's around, maybe it would be fun to submit joint answers in the next round.

I am well aware of how you became a first round draft pick. While our exact process is proprietary, you can be sure you were fully vetted.

[DC47]

So you're okay with the testosterone cream applied extra-cranially? I thought there might be PEDS rules and stuff. Also, it smudges the GoogleGlasses sometimes.

[The Sybian]

So you're okay with the testosterone cream applied extra-cranially? I thought there might be PEDS rules and stuff. Also, it smudges the GoogleGlasses sometimes.

As long as you didn't take the deer antler intra-anusly, it's all good.

[howard]

Hey DC47, please thank your daughter for those links to courses/lectures. They look very interesting. I am coming to this field from a different angle, and here is the one book I've read. Only because I think this is very funny:

My network consulting company has resold a software platform that is used in a wide variety of data analytic situations something called Splunk (splunk.com). Users of this platform include Wall Street quant traders, large enterprise sales/marketing/advertising problems, surveillance and signal intelligence (the government is a big customer), large network functioning and security. For example, MLB.com uses this platform to give them early detection and to point to the cause if their is a failure of streaming a game to a subset of customers. If the Cle-Sea game stream to viewers in the Milwaukee area fails, this platform can alert to the outage, give a location of the breakdown, give a cause of the breakdown, all within seconds, before the first customer calls to complain.

Fortunately, MLB.com has not yet applied this technology to the problem of multiple users on the same account/password. And fortunately they are not a client of mine. So you guys are probably good.

My customer is the one who has to configure this thing for his genomic analysis project. I am trying to learn more about it so I can potentially sell it to other researchers. And because it is fascinating.

I'm a complete novice to this field, but tell your daughter that the key to the future (imo) is epigenetics. The parts of the genome that doesn't code for genes, but that control gene expression. Tells a cell which genes to turn on, which to turn off. This is where the explosion of personalized medicine will come. But she has probably already figured that out.

[DC47]

My network consulting company has resold a software platform that is used in a wide variety of data analytic situations something called Splunk (splunk.com). Users of this platform include Wall Street quant traders, large enterprise sales/marketing/advertising problems, surveillance and signal intelligence (the government is a big customer), large network functioning and security. For example, MLB.com uses this platform to give them early detection and to point to the cause if their is a failure of streaming a game to a subset of customers. If the Cle-Sea game stream to viewers in the Milwaukee area fails, this platform can alert to the outage, give a location of the breakdown, give a cause of the breakdown, all within seconds, before the first customer calls to complain.

Fortunately, MLB.com has not yet applied this technology to the problem of multiple users on the same account/password. And fortunately they are not a client of mine. So you guys are probably good.

My customer is the one who has to configure this thing for his genomic analysis project. I am trying to learn more about it so I can potentially sell it to other researchers. And because it is fascinating.

Whoa, that is some serious quant stuff. Jumping in the deep end. You're not just plugging PCs into medical offices and making sure the little light-thingies go on, are you?

Daughter #1 uses several software packages. One I remember is R. I'll ask her if she's familiar with Splunk.

I'm a complete novice to this field, but tell your daughter that the key to the future (imo) is epigenetics. The parts of the genome that doesn't code for genes, but that control gene expression. Tells a cell which genes to turn on, which to turn off. This is where the explosion of personalized medicine will come. But she has probably already figured that out.

I don't know much, but I know she's all over this gene expression deal. I'll bet you two could have meaningful conversations about MicroRNA, transcription, silencing and such.

[DC47]

So you're okay with the testosterone cream applied extra-cranially? I thought there might be PEDS rules and stuff. Also, it smudges the GoogleGlasses sometimes.

As long as you didn't take the deer antler intra-anusly, it's all good.

Just the tip.

[howard]

Whoa, that is some serious quant stuff. Jumping in the deep end. You're not just plugging PCs into medical offices and making sure the little light-thingies go on, are you?

My partners do the high level stuff. I just sell our consulting services, and do admin stuff. But I had no idea how complex computer networks could be.

I don't know much, but I know she's all over this gene expression deal. I'll bet you two could have meaningful conversations about MicroRNA, transcription, silencing and such.

Only if she dumbs it way down for me.

[DC47]

If you're selling consulting services then I imagine you have to display knowledge that is in the ballpark of your sales targets. If they're doing the big data projects you mentioned, you must be at least pretty good in multiple fields. That's quite a challenge.

When daughter #1 started getting into computational genomics (via amusing accident), I expected that I would be able to follow along for awhile, based on my research and statistics background. Wrong.

I thought scientific research was pretty much variations on the model of:

independent variables - moderator variables = dependent variables

But computational genomics research design goes way outside these boundaries.

When I first read this work, I wondered "where are the stats?" I couldn't even recognize what was being done as within the family of analytical statistics used in research. I thought most research was analyzed using some variation on regression analysis or structural equation modelling. Wrong again. Computational genomics is quite different.

This world isn't necessarily harder to understand than the one I was schooled in. But most of my background knowledge is irrelevant. And of course I knew nothing about epigenetics. I pretty much knew what Watson and Crick et al. had figured out about genes a few years after the Big Discovery.

So I'm pretty much at a loss when I look at what Daughter #1 is doing. I imagine you are far more prepared to learn about this stuff than me, based on your medical background. But it still seems like a big challenge to take on. Most of us like to stay centered on our core competencies and to coast as much as possible (even if we don't like to admit this). Few have the balls to jump the tracks late in their careers.

[howard]

Few have the balls to jump the tracks late in their careers.

Not having any children/wives/ex-wives/mortgages makes it a lot easier. My complete and total disgust at the destruction and disintegration of the medical profession makes it necessary. (And that was before Obama--my biggest complaint with his program is that it preserves the status quo, which is steady disintegration in the service of profits. Things were getting worse before Barry; he just insured they would continue to get worse, in the same manner. He hasn't even accelerated the process much. But I digress.) If I needed to support a family, I would stay in clinical medicine and just be pissed off every work day. Plus, I can always go back; about once a week some headhunter calls or emails me with a hospital job (paying less than what I earned ten years ago in a hospital job, but that is yet another rant.)

If you're selling consulting services then I imagine you have to display knowledge that is in the ballpark of your sales targets. If they're doing the big data projects you mentioned, you must be at least pretty good in multiple fields.

We have exactly one client doing any form of big data, and two prospects, both advertising firms, who are hemming and hawing about hiring us. Splunk/big data is a tiny part of what are doing. Our current finance client does mostly private equity and just a little trading; they have us working on security, storage and network redundancy; they have a team doing their quant stuff separately.

We use the Splunk to monitor networks. We can pull machine data from any device on any network we have access, and quickly find anomalies. Here is an example, and this is far from 'big data'. A hospital patient's record will be routinely accessed by a number of users and departments. Doctors, nurses, billing department, laboratory, admissions office. The number of times a record is accessed per day for an inpatient is pretty standard, and a number of normal patterns are seen in 99% of patients. If all of a sudden Splunk notices a huge number of times a record is viewed, from a variety of users and departments that rarely click on a patient record, the reason is almost always that the patient is a celebrity. The security breach can be quickly shut down, and the inappropriate viewers of that record can be reprimanded. This and a thousand other security-related tasks are real easy to set up within Splunk.

More generally, when I'm talking to a tech person as a sales pitch, all I want to do is get one of my expert partners in front of the target and let them talk geek-to-geek. If I am pitching to a non-tech executive, I'm not trying to impress him with what a tech wizard I am, but how our firm is a tool to help him get better control over and understanding of his own tech resources. I'm a fellow non-geek, struggling to make sense of all this wonderful technology, and using the expertise of my two partners and our crew members to achieve that.

This one client who is going to use Splunk for this genomics analytic project is a long-time associate of my boss/partner, and we foresee working together. I can see collaborating with him long term, my interest in learning about genomics and the future clinical applications is not connected to my day-to-day right now. There is no way I could walk into a university lab or medical center and pitch Splunk for their genomics research, nor am I trying to do anything like that. I'm drumming up more mundane business, like how to integrate your new electronic medical records system with your existing computer networks. Or fixing that integration after your original vendor fucked you. The cutting edge genomic science is just interesting to me, but not where I'm trying to make a living, at least today. I'm essentially selling plumbing services; to make all the systems and sub-systems of tubes keep the bits flowing, and only flushing when it is supposed to.

Hey, it's Saturday, no one is in here anyway, and my headache is finally gone. Why not burn some bytes babbling about my job, which I didn't do all week.

ETA: Oh, here is a key historic tidbit. Francis Crick on occasion dropped acid. Allegedly, the 3-D structure of DNA came to him while tripping. Probably apocryphal, much more likely that he dosed years after he and Watson stole Rosalind Franklin's work in the 50s. But I like the story and I'm sticking to it.

[Shirley]

Not to threadjack, but Splunk actually plays a bit in my company's space. We're complimentary more than competitive though. I've installed and played with it some. Is a cool product. In fact, on my long list of back burner items at work is to play with making a Splunk integration with our product.

DC, your daughters sound awesome. You must be very proud of them both. My oldest is sort of a combo of your two. He's autistic, but not as severe as your one daughter and smart and into science, but not as talented as your other daughter. He did recently take the ACT for Duke TIP and got a 24, which we thought was pretty good for a 12-year-old. Most impressive was his 32 in Reading, which would have placed him the 95th percentile of college-bound high school kid.

[DC47]

Being typical parents, we experience more worry and relief than pride. And today was actually a pretty bad day for both of them. But, yes, there are moments where we're pretty happy with how they're progressing.

Having been around many of daughter #1's associates who now have ACT scores attached to them, I can say that a 32 on the reading part of the ACT means your kid is a smart one on those skills. Kids in that range can read most of the the work assigned to college freshman without much challenge.

By the way, when daughter #1 was 12 she didn't like science (had never had a good teacher) and wasn't exceptionally good at school. The other day she mentioned that unlike a few of her brighter pals, she failed to test out of a middle school math class, so only in high school did she get ahead of the normal math course sequence and start crushing things with 'computational' in the title (linguistics as well as genomics). In this school system she is quite young for her grade -- she'll graduate at age 17 1/2, so she was likely to be a late developer. However, more generally, many kids with somewhat hidden potential bloom intellectually once they hit the teen years. A kid with a 24 ACT score at age 12 could easily be well into the 30s at age 17.

[DC47]

Not having any children/wives/ex-wives/mortgages makes it a lot easier. My complete and total disgust at the destruction and disintegration of the medical profession makes it necessary. (And that was before Obama--my biggest complaint with his program is that it preserves the status quo, which is steady disintegration in the service of profits. Things were getting worse before Barry; he just insured they would continue to get worse, in the same manner. He hasn't even accelerated the process much. But I digress.) If I needed to support a family, I would stay in clinical medicine and just be pissed off every work day. Plus, I can always go back; about once a week some headhunter calls or emails me with a hospital job (paying less than what I earned ten years ago in a hospital job, but that is yet another rant.)

I get it. However, as I move through old age I note that many of my peers are staying put in declining occupational niches, even when they're got some apparent mobility. And some cling desperately to obvious disasters, with their complications (your list and others) as an excuse for not taking reasonable measures to bail on a sinking ship. Change ain't easy. Those who can take reasonable gambles before they're forced to make a move possess an important character trait.

We have exactly one client doing any form of big data, and two prospects, both advertising firms, who are hemming and hawing about hiring us. Splunk/big data is a tiny part of what are doing. Our current finance client does mostly private equity and just a little trading; they have us working on security, storage and network redundancy; they have a team doing their quant stuff separately.

We use the Splunk to monitor networks. We can pull machine data from any device on any network we have access, and quickly find anomalies. Here is an example, and this is far from 'big data'. A hospital patient's record will be routinely accessed by a number of users and departments. Doctors, nurses, billing department, laboratory, admissions office. The number of times a record is accessed per day for an inpatient is pretty standard, and a number of normal patterns are seen in 99% of patients. If all of a sudden Splunk notices a huge number of times a record is viewed, from a variety of users and departments that rarely click on a patient record, the reason is almost always that the patient is a celebrity. The security breach can be quickly shut down, and the inappropriate viewers of that record can be reprimanded. This and a thousand other security-related tasks are real easy to set up within Splunk.

I've got a better picture of your business mix now. I imagine the NYC metro area has a lot of good targets to pursue.

The way technology is developing, some that need only bread-and-butter IT applications now, may be in the market for fancier stuff later.

More generally, when I'm talking to a tech person as a sales pitch, all I want to do is get one of my expert partners in front of the target and let them talk geek-to-geek. If I am pitching to a non-tech executive, I'm not trying to impress him with what a tech wizard I am, but how our firm is a tool to help him get better control over and understanding of his own tech resources. I'm a fellow non-geek, struggling to make sense of all this wonderful technology, and using the expertise of my two partners and our crew members to achieve that.

Is your medical background key to your ability to pitch the firm's wares? Your network? Or are you relying on charisma and brains?

This one client who is going to use Splunk for this genomics analytic project is a long-time associate of my boss/partner, and we foresee working together. I can see collaborating with him long term, my interest in learning about genomics and the future clinical applications is not connected to my day-to-day right now. There is no way I could walk into a university lab or medical center and pitch Splunk for their genomics research, nor am I trying to do anything like that. I'm drumming up more mundane business, like how to integrate your new electronic medical records system with your existing computer networks. Or fixing that integration after your original vendor fucked you. The cutting edge genomic science is just interesting to me, but not where I'm trying to make a living, at least today. I'm essentially selling plumbing services; to make all the systems and sub-systems of tubes keep the bits flowing, and only flushing when it is supposed to.

Good metaphor. Of course, once you've got the plumbing contract you may end up bidding on the slick geothermal heating and cooling system in a few years.

Daughter #! confirmed that for her research group it's all R on a Linux base. Doesn't know of Splunk. It's really something to watch her do statistical programming. I bought her first computer just a few months ago, and only recently has she been able to routinely perform security functions like Windows updates. She's pretty far along with higher level things, and a baby with what are basic computer functions. It's like racing Formula 1 cars when you are shaky on the theory of how to change the oil in your car. But she needs the former, and not so much the latter. Much of what she is doing is programming -- developing computational tools that can guide the direction of experiments. For example, figuring out where the good targets are for various drugs.

By the way, as predicted, her science fair project bombed. One judge commented that her project wasn't even legitimate in the "Experimental research" category because it was about a method for determining what very specific genetics experimentation was likely to be fruitful. Of course in her field this is cutting edge 21st century research. Big Data is a core part of experimental research in many sub-fields, perhaps none more than genetics. It's not just wet lab work now in the modern era. However, that's not the professional worldview of every college science teacher who went to grad school in the 80s.

Daughter #1 also guided another less-advanced student's science fair project. This student actually won the category and is off to Arizona for the national finals. Daughter #1 was genuinely thrilled when she got the news. I'm a bit sad for her that so much of her work went essentially down the drain, and she got so little positive feedback. However, she gets enough in general these days. Moreover, I'm pleased to see how little she's prone to jealousy or bitterness. Can't really teach that character trait if it's not there at age 16 On the contrary, it won't be hard to teach her how to read professional contexts and learn to avoid those that aren't likely to accept what she does.

Hey, it's Saturday, no one is in here anyway, and my headache is finally gone. Why not burn some bytes babbling about my job, which I didn't do all week.

Hope you're still feeling well and kicking some biochemical ass in your recovery.

ETA: Oh, here is a key historic tidbit. Francis Crick on occasion dropped acid. Allegedly, the 3-D structure of DNA came to him while tripping. Probably apocryphal, much more likely that he dosed years after he and Watson stole Rosalind Franklin's work in the 50s. But I like the story and I'm sticking to it.

I've heard the same. But it seems very early in the history of the diffusion of LSD in society to be very likely. More likely it was gin or whiskey.

[howard]

Is your medical background key to your ability to pitch the firm's wares? Your network? Or are you relying on charisma and brains?

The latter. Get them to like me; get them to trust me; get them to buy from me. Working my personal network is the next biggest factor. Even people I know from the boxing world. Hospitals have their own entrenched vendor networks, driven by bureaucracy, habit/familiarity and illogical rules. Been a tough nut.