Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

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Jerloma
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Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Jerloma » Sat Mar 23, 2013 12:02 am

Nothing funnier than a snarky self important letter to the editor about how an inanimate object didn't come to life via substitutiary locomotion.

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And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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Steve of phpBB
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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Steve of phpBB » Sat Mar 23, 2013 7:09 am

I'll give him points for cleverness, though. That last line reads like the Onion.
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Gunpowder » Sun Mar 24, 2013 12:39 pm

It's probably easier to eat without spoons than it is to kill a bunch of people without guns.
"Enjoyed this one," Gunpowder told the Burlington Observer. "But it's back to work tomorrow."

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by The Sybian » Sun Mar 24, 2013 2:12 pm

Some idiot was bitching about Sportscenter leading with the US Soccer World Cup Qualifier in the blizzard. The biggest sports story in the history of mankind, and he was bitching that it lead. Can you guys believe that shit?
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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Sabo » Sun Mar 24, 2013 5:15 pm

The Sybian wrote:Some idiot was bitching about Sportscenter leading with the US Soccer World Cup Qualifier in the blizzard. The biggest sports story in the history of mankind, and he was bitching that it lead. Can you guys believe that shit?
I thought we told you to stop listening to Screamin' A. Smith!
Mallards rule.

So do cassowaries.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by The Sybian » Sun Mar 24, 2013 5:59 pm

Sabo wrote:
The Sybian wrote:Some idiot was bitching about Sportscenter leading with the US Soccer World Cup Qualifier in the blizzard. The biggest sports story in the history of mankind, and he was bitching that it lead. Can you guys believe that shit?
I thought we told you to stop listening to Screamin' A. Smith!
No, not that idiot.
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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Johnnie » Mon Mar 25, 2013 12:24 am

The Sybian wrote:Some idiot was bitching about Sportscenter leading with the US Soccer World Cup Qualifier in the blizzard. The biggest sports story in the history of mankind, and he was bitching that it lead. Can you guys believe that shit?
Heh. Nice.
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EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Gunpowder » Mon Mar 25, 2013 8:10 am

The Sybian wrote:Some idiot was bitching about Sportscenter leading with the US Soccer World Cup Qualifier in the blizzard. The biggest sports story in the history of mankind, and he was bitching that it lead. Can you guys believe that shit?
Me and the dougs are the opposite of soccer fans and even we were talking about the blizzard game.
"Enjoyed this one," Gunpowder told the Burlington Observer. "But it's back to work tomorrow."

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Jerloma » Mon Mar 25, 2013 10:53 am

And who the fuck leaves a loaded shotgun on their porch while the boy next door cleans their yard?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by ZMan » Mon Mar 25, 2013 11:07 am

I didn't hear a word about the snow soccer game until this morning.
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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Steve of phpBB » Mon Mar 25, 2013 11:18 am

Jerloma wrote:And who the fuck leaves a loaded shotgun on their porch while the boy next door cleans their yard?
Who doesn't?
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Ryan » Mon Mar 25, 2013 11:35 am

If he had given the gun some prosthetics instead of the wheelchair, this would have so backfired on him.
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Jerloma » Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:12 pm

These red and pink equal signs seem a little look-at-me-ish. I bet half of these people couldn't give a shit.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Jerloma » Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:13 pm

And it's not like Judge Roberts reads your Facebook.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Gunpowder » Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:15 pm

Everyone turned gay on Facebook today!
"Enjoyed this one," Gunpowder told the Burlington Observer. "But it's back to work tomorrow."

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Johnnie » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:46 pm

I have a lot of gay friends, so, just this one time, I switched it up my Facebook photo to show them support.

I'm not into the "Hey! Look at me!" aspect of social awareness either. This time it just seems to have more gravity than others.

Plus, George Takei requested I do it. So why would I go against Sulu?
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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Giff » Wed Mar 27, 2013 12:13 pm

Almost had to delete ZMan's comment on one of my shares, but it was just too hilarious.
Muh.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Johnnie » Wed Mar 27, 2013 6:18 pm

What. The. Fuck.

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mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Shirley » Wed Mar 27, 2013 9:53 pm

Johnnie wrote:What. The. Fuck.

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I think I'd be defriending that one.
Totally Kafkaesque

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by ZMan » Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:07 pm

Giff wrote:Almost had to delete ZMan's comment on one of my shares, but it was just too hilarious.
I debated that one for a good 5 min before posting. But it was one of the rare times I made a pun response work, so I stuck with it.
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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by SlimChristian » Wed Mar 27, 2013 11:46 pm

ZMan wrote:
Giff wrote:Almost had to delete ZMan's comment on one of my shares, but it was just too hilarious.
I debated that one for a good 5 min before posting. But it was one of the rare times I made a pun response work, so I stuck with it.
That is quality work, Z.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Johnnie » Thu Mar 28, 2013 12:04 am

Damn. I missed what was said. When was this posted?
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Giff » Thu Mar 28, 2013 8:30 am

Johnnie wrote:Damn. I missed what was said. When was this posted?
Yesterday. It is on the pic I shared re: Epilepsy awareness. But now I'm sure you can guess where it's going.

ZMan, I was positive I was until I read it to my wife. Her tears made me keep it.
Muh.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by A_B » Thu Mar 28, 2013 8:36 am

Giff wrote:
Johnnie wrote:Damn. I missed what was said. When was this posted?
Yesterday. It is on the pic I shared re: Epilepsy awareness. But now I'm sure you can guess where it's going.

ZMan, I was positive I was until I read it to my wife. Her tears made me keep it.
That's pretty mean. No wonder you're on your second marriage.
The wife just accidentally called you. “Accidentally”. Sorry

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Giff » Thu Mar 28, 2013 8:38 am

I'm just happy we're equally as mean this time. Not looking forward to the third one yet.
Muh.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Johnnie » Thu Mar 28, 2013 8:50 am

Ha. Just read it. Awesome stuff, both of you.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Jerloma » Thu Mar 28, 2013 9:14 am

Guys, the Awesome Things You Read On Facebook thread is in dead Swamp. Or you can just read my wall.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Jerloma » Thu Mar 28, 2013 5:13 pm

Like if you would answer the door.
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And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by brian » Thu Mar 28, 2013 5:15 pm

Jerloma wrote:
Like if you would answer the door.
Image
Oh damn, I wish someone would post that on my wall, but I cut loose all of the Jesus freaks awhile ago. Because if some guy came dressed to your door looking like that, the LAST thing you would do is open the door. More like grab your weapon(s) and call the police.
Image

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by rass » Thu Mar 28, 2013 5:16 pm

He is a little, um, swarthy?
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by P.D.X. » Thu Mar 28, 2013 5:25 pm

He looks like he's about to chunk.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by rass » Thu Mar 28, 2013 5:33 pm

P.D.X. wrote:He looks like he's about to chunk.
Or laugh. For He is both the King of the Jews and knock knock jokes.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Jerloma » Thu Mar 28, 2013 5:34 pm

brian wrote:
Jerloma wrote:
Like if you would answer the door.
Image
Oh damn, I wish someone would post that on my wall, but I cut loose all of the Jesus freaks awhile ago. Because if some guy came dressed to your door looking like that, the LAST thing you would do is open the door. More like grab your weapon(s) and call the police.
That's funny...I was thinking the same thing.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Johnnie » Thu Mar 28, 2013 5:52 pm

Oh man! No door handle! You know why? That's the door to your heart!

(I remember this stupid fucking pic from high school.)
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by P.D.X. » Thu Mar 28, 2013 7:37 pm

Johnnie wrote:Oh man! No door handle! You know why? That's the door to your heart!

(I remember this stupid fucking pic from high school.)
I don't get it. Why doesn't the metaphorical door have a metaphorical handle?

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Johnnie » Thu Mar 28, 2013 7:47 pm

Because you have to open it from the inside and let him in.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Jerloma » Thu Mar 28, 2013 8:30 pm

Oh my fucking God. That one somehow eluded me.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Shirley » Wed Apr 03, 2013 10:13 am

A college friend just posted that if you Google Image Search his name, you get a lot of pics of him ... along with one of a dick.

I tried it and it's true. And funny as shit.

https://www.google.com/search?q=Michael ... 62&bih=852" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Totally Kafkaesque

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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by cerrano » Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:15 pm

Shirley wrote:A college friend just posted that if you Google Image Search his name, you get a lot of pics of him ... along with one of a dick.

I tried it and it's true. And funny as shit.

https://www.google.com/search?q=Michael ... 62&bih=852" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
for what its worth, it couldn't have had better page-placement.
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Re: Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Post by Brontoburglar » Thu Apr 04, 2013 7:18 am

If you mouse over it, in the info line at the bottom it says "predator"
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