More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Okay . . . let's try this again.

Moderators: Shirley, Sabo, brian, rass, DaveInSeattle

Post Reply
elflaco
Brandt
Posts: 485
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:46 am
Location: Exit 10

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by elflaco »

HaulCitgo wrote:You might invest some of those fees on D&O insurance

already have that.
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by rass »

Thanks.

If she hadn't had two concussions in the last year+ I wouldn't be all that concerned. I thought we had another year to go.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by rass »

Also, just had to postpone Sunday's game for my oldest daughter's team because 5 of 14 girls are injured (no concussions).
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
User avatar
Nonlinear FC
The Dude
Posts: 10744
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:09 pm

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by Nonlinear FC »

rass wrote:Thanks.

If she hadn't had two concussions in the last year+ I wouldn't be all that concerned. I thought we had another year to go.



Sorry, kind of combining responses with wlu's post right above yours. Yeah, if worried about concussions, best to just avoid for awhile. Also highly encourage one of those head protectors. I know kids are self-conscious, but you can find google images of professional women wearing them to help with that.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by rass »

The specialist we saw during her rehab more or less dismissed them. He didn't seem to think they were all that effective for injuries in the run of play (not sure we specifically discussed headers), and (perhaps a little cynically) suggested that as the kids get older they just act as a target for opponents.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
User avatar
Nonlinear FC
The Dude
Posts: 10744
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:09 pm

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by Nonlinear FC »

Targets for opponents? Really?

That seems like a SUPER subjective (bullshity) thing to say.

I mean, in that dude's world, don't put on knee braces??
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by rass »

Nonlinear FC wrote:Targets for opponents? Really?

That seems like a SUPER subjective (bullshity) thing to say.

I mean, in that dude's world, don't put on knee braces??


I kind of wish I had thought of that response at the time. Though the dude was pretty great (first time a doc has given me his personal phone # and email and told me to just contact him at any time with any issues or questions). Maybe he was just disputing their general effectiveness.

I think we were specifically talking about the headbands. Were you referring to those to those or to Petr Cech-style full headgear?
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
howard
Karl Hungus
Posts: 9467
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:00 pm

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by howard »

rass wrote:(first time a doc has given me his personal phone # and email and told me to just contact him at any time with any issues or questions).


WHAT!?!?!

(no respect; no respect.)
Who knows? Maybe, you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom.

Those days are gone forever
Over a long time ago
Oh yeah…
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by rass »

howard wrote:
rass wrote:(first time a doc has given me his personal phone # and email and told me to just contact him at any time with any issues or questions).


WHAT!?!?!

(no respect; no respect.)


Sorry. Without expecting a handy in return.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29048
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by mister d »

I call perv.
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by rass »

I thought about adding "(other than howard)" in the original post, but figured then someone else would get to make the hand job joke.

I meant a doctor whom I otherwise have no personal relationship with. Otherwise my statement was false a couple of times over.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
howard
Karl Hungus
Posts: 9467
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:00 pm

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by howard »

rass wrote:
Sorry. Without expecting a handy in return.


That's more like it.

(I know just killing time, listening to tom petty)
Who knows? Maybe, you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom.

Those days are gone forever
Over a long time ago
Oh yeah…
User avatar
Nonlinear FC
The Dude
Posts: 10744
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:09 pm

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by Nonlinear FC »

rass wrote:
Nonlinear FC wrote:Targets for opponents? Really?

That seems like a SUPER subjective (bullshity) thing to say.

I mean, in that dude's world, don't put on knee braces??


I kind of wish I had thought of that response at the time. Though the dude was pretty great (first time a doc has given me his personal phone # and email and told me to just contact him at any time with any issues or questions). Maybe he was just disputing their general effectiveness.

I think we were specifically talking about the headbands. Were you referring to those to those or to Petr Cech-style full headgear?



The Peter Cezchckk ones.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
elflaco
Brandt
Posts: 485
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:46 am
Location: Exit 10

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by elflaco »

so first board meeting scheduled for tonight.

packed agenda. mostly getting everyone to understand their roles (3 new people on the board, 3 others changed roles)... and understand that we're going to run these as if we're getting paid... so agendas, minutes, action items, etc... but as we're all volunteers... we'll be realistic on time frames...

one issue just came through email -- and we'll have to address it tonight.
parent on one of our teams (coached by board member newly in charge of training and player development).. took it upon himself (the parent) to berate an opposing player after the game, calling the kid... a 10 y.o a dirty player and what not... issue could've escalated... thankfully it didn't.

now.. all parents received email from league about S.A.G.E. ... Set A Good Example -- detailing what the program entails (used to be league held 'seminars' and each parent to sign a S.A.G.E pledge during regisration... stopped 2yrs ago, starting up again in '18)...

i'd like to hear the parent's side... but i'm all for ZERO tolerance on these matters... last few seasons we've seen one or two such incidents (either our folks or those we play against)

now, i will talk all day to a ref. never disrespectful (well, never since 2012... i learned my lessons).. and may say things to a coach . but to a parent? never talked to an opposing one. to a kid? besides being positive on their effort or simple 'good game'? in all honestly as a parent and coach i've had words with opposing coaches and refs about actiosn towards my team and/or my own team.. but to a kid? no fucking way. that's off limits.

thoughts on this? zero tolerance... 1st offense.. parent suspended from watching one game.. 2nd offense, banned from watching rest of season... 3rd offense.. family is out of the club... of course, i'll need the board to approve it.

what say the swamp?
User avatar
sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 18066
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by sancarlos »

elflaco wrote:thoughts on this? zero tolerance... 1st offense.. parent suspended from watching one game.. 2nd offense, banned from watching rest of season... 3rd offense.. family is out of the club... of course, i'll need the board to approve it.

what say the swamp?

If you are going to suspend the parent from attending, what steps are legal to enforce this? Do you call the cops if he shows up? Do you hire an off-duty cop? (And, would he have any authority off-duty?)
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
elflaco
Brandt
Posts: 485
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:46 am
Location: Exit 10

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by elflaco »

we have no power but the power of shame... and the fact that we can kick his kid out of the club. hell, i'll even give those people a refund as long as they gtfo.
it's a small town.... the couple of issues we've had in the 5+ yrs i've been involved.. those parents left the club pretty quick.

with little legal recourse.. what would you do?
User avatar
sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 18066
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by sancarlos »

elflaco wrote:we have no power but the power of shame... and the fact that we can kick his kid out of the club. hell, i'll even give those people a refund as long as they gtfo.
it's a small town.... the couple of issues we've had in the 5+ yrs i've been involved.. those parents left the club pretty quick.

with little legal recourse.. what would you do?

I don't know anything, but threatening the expulsion of the kid if he shows up seems like a good stick to wave. I wouldn't go no tolerance though. I think everybody should get one pass.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
User avatar
testuser2
Brandt
Posts: 493
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 11:53 am

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by testuser2 »

Have the parent stay home for the game. If they show up kick the family from the club. The rest of your families shouldn't have to deal with that parent on their sideline. If it was that bad that another family complained I doubt that it was the only thing they did at the game.
User avatar
duff
Donny
Posts: 2745
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 3:36 pm

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by duff »

Pull all of the parents aside and give them a first and final warning. If any of them acts like the one parent from the previous game, then their child will be kicked from the club.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by rass »

We had a parent on the opposing team not only call out our parents multiple times on Sunday ("where are # XX's parents?"), he also pulled the same shit while directly addressing one of our players ("hey # XX, where are your parents? We're going to get # YY on you"). Despite all SAGE suggestions to never initiate a confrontation, I shouted him down after he talked to our kid.

I sent a note to our club, so no idea if anything will be done. Thankfully we don't play them again this fall.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
User avatar
Shirley
The Dude
Posts: 7517
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 2:32 pm

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by Shirley »

duff wrote:Pull all of the parents aside and give them a first and final warning. If any of them acts like the one parent from the previous game, then their child will be kicked from the club.


That was my thought as well. You don't get a third chance to yell at a kid. In fact, nobody else even gets another chance. Everyone is warned.
Totally Kafkaesque
elflaco
Brandt
Posts: 485
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:46 am
Location: Exit 10

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by elflaco »

so the coach will speak to the parent tonight... and compare stories... more to come i'm sure.

the SAGE email the league sent in sept and most ignored.. i've now resent it to all of our members... and posted about the importance of SAGE on the fb page (only to have one of our coaches ask why bother since our parents are all saints.. i'm paraphrasing.... but no, he really did wonder if sportsmanship is an issue with our parents... jeez...this is the same clueless coach that Sybian's team destroyed last weekend... but hey... he asked for that flight!)
and we'll remind all coaches to speak to parents... before the weekend

only bad thing from the board meeting is that the scheduled 30 mins went 20.. not as easy to corral everyone to one conversation at at time and keep them on topic as it is at work. we'll get there though. agendas, minutes.. follow up action items with dates.. JA!

oh yeah... Anyone want any MTSC spirit wear? we're having a garage clearance sale this Friday night! blue and white..
User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 18872
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by The Sybian »

Shirley wrote:
duff wrote:Pull all of the parents aside and give them a first and final warning. If any of them acts like the one parent from the previous game, then their child will be kicked from the club.


That was my thought as well. You don't get a third chance to yell at a kid. In fact, nobody else even gets another chance. Everyone is warned.


This is my answer, too. I don't know the story behind it, but a friend of mine was talking to the President of our club, who told him he was on his way to "fire a parent." No idea what the parent did, but they were banning the parent from attending any games or practices, with the option of a full refund if they pulled the kid.

Somehow I missed Flaco's response about the field. I'm happy to report no illnesses or rashes due to playing on their field, but our second best player didn't show up because her parents were worried about disclaimer.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
User avatar
Nonlinear FC
The Dude
Posts: 10744
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:09 pm

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by Nonlinear FC »

Yeah, just to pile on the obvious... If a parent of an opposing team said something to one of my players, I would flip my shit. The one time my co-coach almost got tossed is when an opposing coach started chirping at our players (we are not a chippy team, and they'd already wrecked the knee of one our kids, so... this was just the way they operated.) And was all I could do to hold him back, because I wanted to kill the guy at that point myself.

But a fucking parent?! Yeah, sorry, you get MAYBE .5 strikes on that one. There's just no excuse for that and it would be a constant source of worry and stress, wondering what else that person is capable of doing when the next incident comes around. I'm a nice guy, I'd probably give them a lecture and a warning that next time you're banned. But I'd also enlist other parents to make sure I knew what that guy was up to...

That's the other thing. You have to educate all the parents, because typically we coaches are on the opposite of the field... by design... so we don't get caught up in the parental nonsense.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
User avatar
DSafetyGuy
The Dude
Posts: 8730
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:29 pm
Location: Behind the high school

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by DSafetyGuy »

The Sybian wrote:
Shirley wrote:
duff wrote:Pull all of the parents aside and give them a first and final warning. If any of them acts like the one parent from the previous game, then their child will be kicked from the club.


That was my thought as well. You don't get a third chance to yell at a kid. In fact, nobody else even gets another chance. Everyone is warned.


This is my answer, too. I don't know the story behind it, but a friend of mine was talking to the President of our club, who told him he was on his way to "fire a parent." No idea what the parent did, but they were banning the parent from attending any games or practices, with the option of a full refund if they pulled the kid.


My complete outside opinion is everyone warned now and it is zero tolerance, but no option for refund. Give them as many reasons as possible to respect the rule.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”
User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 18872
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by The Sybian »

Nonlinear FC wrote:Yeah, just to pile on the obvious... If a parent of an opposing team said something to one of my players, I would flip my shit. The one time my co-coach almost got tossed is when an opposing coach started chirping at our players (we are not a chippy team, and they'd already wrecked the knee of one our kids, so... this was just the way they operated.) And was all I could do to hold him back, because I wanted to kill the guy at that point myself.

But a fucking parent?! Yeah, sorry, you get MAYBE .5 strikes on that one. There's just no excuse for that and it would be a constant source of worry and stress, wondering what else that person is capable of doing when the next incident comes around. I'm a nice guy, I'd probably give them a lecture and a warning that next time you're banned. But I'd also enlist other parents to make sure I knew what that guy was up to...

That's the other thing. You have to educate all the parents, because typically we coaches are on the opposite of the field... by design... so we don't get caught up in the parental nonsense.



Been wanting to ask some advice on the recent complaints we got from 2 parents, but I don't have time right now. My wife took a couple short videos of a game 3 weeks ago, and I was shocked at all of the screaming from our parents. I said, "no wonder the kids don't listen, they are being told to do 4 different things at the same time." My daughter said it really bothers her, and I'm sure she isn't alone. We sent out an e-mail after that game, and I'll just post the reply of one parent below, who had a lot of other things to say:

Thank you for sending this email regarding the parents "sideline coaching". We've been surprised by what we have been seeing the past couple weeks. Parents walking up and down the sidelines coaching, parents screaming like maniacs, parents going over to the team during the game and at half time, kids coming over to parents during the game. We've never seen anything like this. My son is in his 6th year playing for the league and the coaches have given us very specific league rules from day one. And if the parents don't follow the rules they will be asked to leave.

Some parents on this have even said to me, "you're so calm." Perhaps some of the parents new to this league don't realize there are specific rules. Yes, I am much calmer than most parents on the sidelines because I know the league rules and I also appreciate the fact that these are 7 and 8 year olds and that this is not the World Cup.
I thank you for bringing that up because I do believe it needed to be said.


I thought it was great when we had half of the fathers volunteer to assistant coach, and we have 7 fathers with F-licences on the team. We have 2 head coaches, one being me, and 2 assistants that are there at half the practices, and most of the games. We are only allowed 3 coaches on the bench, so one of the assistants goes to the parents side when we are all there. I'm thinking the assistant on the parents side will have to police our parents. One father in particular is brutal to his daughter. I'm always surprised, because he is such a low key, cool guy, but he is so tough on his daughter. She is our second best player, by a long distance, but every mistake she makes gets him screaming. I missed our last game, but she gave up a couple soft goals, and my co-coach said she looked at the sidelines like she knew a beating was coming. The father used to joke about it last year, saying he would love to coach, but knows he gets too frustrated, but now it's not funny. I don't think he yells at any other girls, but he tells me afterwards how frustrated he gets at them, and has to remind himself they are 7 and 8 years old. Not sure if I had a point there, or just venting, but I think we need to lay down the law, and limit parents from coaching.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
User avatar
Nonlinear FC
The Dude
Posts: 10744
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:09 pm

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by Nonlinear FC »

Here's how we approached that issue:

* - Every season, we would have a meeting either right before or after the first game.

* - "We love your kids, we wouldn't have put them on this team if we didn't see a talented, intelligent, soccer savvy player. Between the two of us we have been playing and coaching the game for over 50 years. We both have coaching licences. When we recruited your kid, we explained how we operate and what are plans were, specific to your daughter.

So, trust us. Let us coach. We can send you lots of articles on sideline behavior, we can send you the league rules and guidelines, we can even send you videos of what happens to the kids when parents spend too much time instructing during games. We don't think we're going to need to do any of that. When we add players to this team, we are also looking at their character. We think these kids are amazing, and we think all of you had a great deal to do with that.

And one last thing to make a finer point here. If you hear either of us during the game, it's because we REALLY need the team or a certain player to pay attention and correct or do a specific thing. Our goal is to do very little coaching in-game. That's their time to put all the training and tactics together... and to have FUN. If we are seeing something that can't wait until half-time, we will pull the player off and do a little instructing and PUT THEM RIGHT BACK IN. It's not a punishment. But, having a constant string of turn-by-turn instructions, usually with a negative undertone in your voice... Does that sound like it would be fun? Of course not. Let the kids play, let them have fun.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
User avatar
Nonlinear FC
The Dude
Posts: 10744
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:09 pm

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by Nonlinear FC »

I also want to keep my shit together regarding that dad, but holy shit is it difficult. There's so much wrong with that guy.

First off, as a goalie myself, the fucking last thing I would ever tolerate, even as a kid, was my parents or anyone else really, giving me shit about a goal. Shut the fuck up. This is the hardest position (mentally) on the field. Literally no one else wants to do it. I take pride in pain. I soak up the bitterness of a goal to sharpen my edges. I don't want your bullshit instruction, person that 99 percent of the time has no idea what they are talking about.

So, that's just from a players perspective. STFU dude.

Now, as a coach and a parent. Fuck that guy. It's not his job to be frustrated or to do anything other than be encouraging. So, again, STFU ass.

Here's something you might consider sharing with him, but really all the parents, because it's a game changer. Guess when the worst possible time to talk to your kids about soccer is?

Right after the fucking game. ESPECIALLY with little kids. Look, parental unit, I get it. You just sat through what was probably a tension-filled, often frustrating game. You have shit you need to say! You have instruction and thoughts and critiques... And it usually includes something about the coaches, other players, playing time, who to pass to, how someone else should be taking.... STOP IT.

First off, kids are prone to be very hard on themselves. So, before you launch into your fucking Bear Bryant bullshit, know that the kid has already rolled around in his head. He also wants this shit to be fun. He/she just spent a couple hours with his/her buddies... They, for the most part, probably had a pretty good time overall. What they don't need is for all of that to come crashing down the second you get in the car, and then for the next 30 minutes (whatever) on the way home.

"Hey! Did you have fun? I loooved when you kicked it away from that player going to goal! Wasn't Susie awesome in goal today? Wanna go get some Dairy Queen? Can't wait to watch you play again next weekend!"

That's it. That's the conversation.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
User avatar
wlu_lax6
The Dude
Posts: 10402
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 7:16 am

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by wlu_lax6 »

Nonlinear FC wrote:I also want to keep my shit together regarding that dad, but holy shit is it difficult. There's so much wrong with that guy.

First off, as a goalie myself, the fucking last thing I would ever tolerate, even as a kid, was my parents or anyone else really, giving me shit about a goal. Shut the fuck up. This is the hardest position (mentally) on the field. Literally no one else wants to do it. I take pride in pain. I soak up the bitterness of a goal to sharpen my edges. I don't want your bullshit instruction, person that 99 percent of the time has no idea what they are talking about.

So, that's just from a players perspective. STFU dude.

Now, as a coach and a parent. Fuck that guy. It's not his job to be frustrated or to do anything other than be encouraging. So, again, STFU ass.

Here's something you might consider sharing with him, but really all the parents, because it's a game changer. Guess when the worst possible time to talk to your kids about soccer is?

Right after the fucking game. ESPECIALLY with little kids. Look, parental unit, I get it. You just sat through what was probably a tension-filled, often frustrating game. You have shit you need to say! You have instruction and thoughts and critiques... And it usually includes something about the coaches, other players, playing time, who to pass to, how someone else should be taking.... STOP IT.

First off, kids are prone to be very hard on themselves. So, before you launch into your fucking Bear Bryant bullshit, know that the kid has already rolled around in his head. He also wants this shit to be fun. He/she just spent a couple hours with his/her buddies... They, for the most part, probably had a pretty good time overall. What they don't need is for all of that to come crashing down the second you get in the car, and then for the next 30 minutes (whatever) on the way home.

"Hey! Did you have fun? I loooved when you kicked it away from that player going to goal! Wasn't Susie awesome in goal today? Wanna go get some Dairy Queen? Can't wait to watch you play again next weekend!"

That's it. That's the conversation.


Amen!
User avatar
DC47
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 3090
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 12:49 am

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by DC47 »

Being out of the insanity that is youth soccer for a few years now, it's always fun to come here to read about the dysfunctionality that I no longer have to deal with. The details differ considerably, largely due to the age and competitive level. But it certainly is one screwed up area of modern life.
elflaco
Brandt
Posts: 485
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:46 am
Location: Exit 10

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by elflaco »

The Sybian wrote:, but I think we need to lay down the law, and limit parents from coaching.


yep.
nail.on.head.
we intend to pass a resolution at our next meeting in November -- beginning in 2018, all new teams will be fully coached by trainers. All other teams will be given the option --as the cost will be higher, everyone's costs will go up slightly (i intend to have us subsidize it for the first year)

we all read the stories... we are all exposed to the sport at various levels... kids leave.. one reason is because it becomes no fun.. part of that no fun.. is the parents... our club also sees kids leave for other clubs and so called academies... we acknowledge that any kid good enough to go to cedar stars, redbull, pda or nj elite.. probably should go.. but no one should feel ok going to copa, knights, valencia or any such others where they'll pay over $2500 a season (for reference, we are at $585 +100 kit every 2 years)

so.. no parent coaches in 2018 for new teams... and the club along with professional trainers will make up the teams not the parents.
elflaco
Brandt
Posts: 485
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:46 am
Location: Exit 10

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by elflaco »

The Sybian wrote:
Been wanting to ask some advice on the recent complaints we got from 2 parents, but I don't have time right now. My wife took a couple short videos of a game 3 weeks ago, and I was shocked at all of the screaming from our parents. I said, "no wonder the kids don't listen, they are being told to do 4 different things at the same time." My daughter said it really bothers her, and I'm sure she isn't alone.


and we've been talking with our coaches this week... mainly the ones coaching u11 and older.. to stop the directing from the sidelines.. far too many of them talk non stop directing every move their players make.

let them play.

set up the game before hand, adjust as needed.. half time talk.. adjust again.
but stop telling johnny or Joannie where to stand EVERY FUCKING MINUTE. that's not coaching.
the response i've gotten more than once... but they may lose the game otherwise!!

WTF. kids aren't allowed to lose?

pendejos.
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by rass »

Oldest kid's team is likely down to just 9 kids (so no subs) this weekend, and we put in a request with the opponent (sounds like "Worstfield" for you NJ guys) for a courtesy reschedule, letting her know that we're super flexible (we have just one Sat game scheduled and they're close enough that we could easily play a weeknight game). Having never had an issue with making (or granting) such requests in the past, I made the mistake of telling my counterpart that we do have exactly 9 girls, so she wrote back with quotes from the league handbook and the conclusion that after checking the handbook and discussing with coaches and the club VP that the game will go on as scheduled.

I wrote her back to let her know that we're well aware of the regulations and that we were just looking for a favor, like the one of our boys teams granted one of their boys teams a couple of weeks ago by playing a Friday game, and that we'll see her Sunday as scheduled (while throwing in a shot at one of the dipshits she CC'd on her last response who did a Reply All and included me and our coach on his "Well put!" comment).

Anyway, we might have some overly-engaged parents on Sunday. Including my wife.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
User avatar
sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 18066
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by sancarlos »

Just one uninformed voice, but I thought parents were the only ones who want to coach kids' soccer?
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
User avatar
A_B
The Dude
Posts: 23323
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:36 am
Location: Getting them boards like a wolf in the chicken pen.

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by A_B »

sancarlos wrote:Just one uninformed voice, but I thought parents were the only ones who want to coach kids' soccer?


At the lower levels that's what you get. But even with baseball around here the coaches generally stay with teams even as kids move through. Parents will help out, but there's almost always a non-related "coach" for the top level teams.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
User avatar
Nonlinear FC
The Dude
Posts: 10744
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:09 pm

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by Nonlinear FC »

sancarlos wrote:Just one uninformed voice, but I thought parents were the only ones who want to coach kids' soccer?



Define "kids soccer." Because I can assure you that my co-coach and I were some of the volunteers left in our club, and when we started with that club, it was almost exclusively volunteers.

Bethesda, McClean, Potomac... All of the big time clubs in the area ZERO volunteers. None.

So, yeah, when the kids are U8 or U9, before the real travel stuff typically starts up. Lots of volunteer/parent coaching. But once you get into the double digits in age... Clubs are forming mini-academies for those age groups and hiring trainers. Rec is gonna be rec. But if a kid is any good in hot bed soccer areas, the trend is zero volunteer coaches.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
User avatar
Shirley
The Dude
Posts: 7517
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 2:32 pm

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by Shirley »

elflaco wrote:
The Sybian wrote:
Been wanting to ask some advice on the recent complaints we got from 2 parents, but I don't have time right now. My wife took a couple short videos of a game 3 weeks ago, and I was shocked at all of the screaming from our parents. I said, "no wonder the kids don't listen, they are being told to do 4 different things at the same time." My daughter said it really bothers her, and I'm sure she isn't alone.


and we've been talking with our coaches this week... mainly the ones coaching u11 and older.. to stop the directing from the sidelines.. far too many of them talk non stop directing every move their players make.

let them play.

set up the game before hand, adjust as needed.. half time talk.. adjust again.
but stop telling johnny or Joannie where to stand EVERY FUCKING MINUTE. that's not coaching.
the response i've gotten more than once... but they may lose the game otherwise!!

WTF. kids aren't allowed to lose?

pendejos.


How many practices a week do these kids get? Asked another way, what's the practice/game ratio? When I coached my kids in rec soccer, we had only one practice a week. I never got a full squad at practice, sometimes they were rained out, etc. If I didn't coach kids during games - telling them where to be, etc. - they would have had half as much coaching. And with practices, I couldn't really simulate many real-game scenarios, because there simply aren't enough kids.

I was never that concerned with winning or losing - that was 90% due to the players assigned to teams, not coaching - but I did want to make sure the kids learned how to play.
Totally Kafkaesque
User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 18872
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by The Sybian »

Shirley wrote:
elflaco wrote:
The Sybian wrote:
Been wanting to ask some advice on the recent complaints we got from 2 parents, but I don't have time right now. My wife took a couple short videos of a game 3 weeks ago, and I was shocked at all of the screaming from our parents. I said, "no wonder the kids don't listen, they are being told to do 4 different things at the same time." My daughter said it really bothers her, and I'm sure she isn't alone.


and we've been talking with our coaches this week... mainly the ones coaching u11 and older.. to stop the directing from the sidelines.. far too many of them talk non stop directing every move their players make.

let them play.

set up the game before hand, adjust as needed.. half time talk.. adjust again.
but stop telling johnny or Joannie where to stand EVERY FUCKING MINUTE. that's not coaching.
the response i've gotten more than once... but they may lose the game otherwise!!

WTF. kids aren't allowed to lose?

pendejos.


How many practices a week do these kids get? Asked another way, what's the practice/game ratio? When I coached my kids in rec soccer, we had only one practice a week. I never got a full squad at practice, sometimes they were rained out, etc. If I didn't coach kids during games - telling them where to be, etc. - they would have had half as much coaching. And with practices, I couldn't really simulate many real-game scenarios, because there simply aren't enough kids.

I was never that concerned with winning or losing - that was 90% due to the players assigned to teams, not coaching - but I did want to make sure the kids learned how to play.


I had the same thought, and I do think it is different when you get to U-11. I had one practice with my team before the first game, and two girls had never played with us before. One in particular has a lot of talent, but absolutely no concept of positioning. Half the girls still want to play bunch ball, and if we didn't constantly remind them what position they are playing, I don't think they would ever learn where they are supposed to go.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by rass »

U12 kid has three practices a week, 4 hours total. One hour of that is with the parent coach, and not the trainer, for speed/agility training.

U10 kid has two for 3 hours total.

Older kid tied 1-1 today. She played out of her mind on defense. The sort of game I wish we had recorded. One girl who has been beat up and missed last Sunday's game and all three practices this past week showed up today so they ended up with one sub.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
User avatar
testuser2
Brandt
Posts: 493
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 11:53 am

Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by testuser2 »

I hate parents that park their fucking chairs two feet from the field. God damn does it piss me off.

Practices
u12 has 2 outdoor(1.5 hr each) and 1 futsal each week. Usually a game/scrimmage every few weeks.
u9 has 2 outdoor(1 hr each) and 1 futsal each week. 2 tournaments a season.

There is also a finishing academy on most Sundays. At least once a season there is a club wide 3v3 day where they youngest players mix in with the oldest. We don't have many options for playing games within an hour's drive. So we fill the game events the best we can.
Post Reply