Weird Swamp-related dreams

Post by **brian** » Thu May 28, 2015 9:28 am

I dreamt Jerloma took a job at a grocery store only to pull some elaborate prank on the owner involving some celebration they were having in his honor.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu May 28, 2015 9:56 am

brian wrote:I dreamt Jerloma took a job at a grocery store only to pull some elaborate prank on the owner involving some celebration they were having in his honor.

Weird, I had a dream where Jerloma popped up a couple nights ago. I was out of town, driving around looking for a place to eat. For some reason I pulled into a 7-11 type place, and sat with JLo. He looked a bit like Pentagonz, but a much more weasely. I kept thinking how he looked nothing like I expected, and he had a high pitched squeaky voice. Then Kranepool stopped by, and I realized we were eating at this shithole because Kranepool loved the place. He sat down for 5 seconds, then said he had to go as he stepped out of his office to grab lunch, and we were in Philly, and he had to go back to his office in Baltimore. JLo and I were both pissed Kranepool made us eat at this shithole then took off. Fuck Kranepool.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu May 28, 2015 10:02 am

Don't you know what I look like?

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu May 28, 2015 10:04 am

Jerloma wrote:Don't you know what I look like?

A bit like the guy in ZMan's avatar. I also know what your voice sounds like from your piano videos. That's why I was surprised by your Pentz weasel face in the dream.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu May 28, 2015 10:08 am

That's weird, although I guess that happens to me too. You know the person you're with but it's definitely not them. Dreams are crazy, man.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Thu May 28, 2015 10:20 am

I'm a bit surprised that Brian and Sybian dream about Jerloma...

Post by **brian** » Thu May 28, 2015 10:43 am

Believe me, I'd rather be dreaming about getting BJs from Kate Upton.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu May 28, 2015 10:46 am

brian wrote:Believe me, I'd rather be dreaming about...BJ...Upton.

???

Post by **brian** » Thu May 28, 2015 10:47 am

rass wrote:
brian wrote:Believe me, I'd rather be dreaming about...BJ...Upton.
???

Yeah, that would be better also.

howard · Post by **howard** » Thu May 28, 2015 10:50 am

Jerloma wrote:Don't you know what I look like?

apparently he does:

The Sybian wrote:He looked a bit like Pentagonz, but a much more weasely.

boom; two for one (but pents hardly ever comes around anymore)

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu May 28, 2015 10:54 am

brian wrote:
rass wrote:
brian wrote:Believe me, I'd rather be dreaming about...BJ...Upton.
???
Yeah, that would be better also.

srsly?

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu May 28, 2015 10:59 am

Jerloma wrote:
brian wrote:
rass wrote:
brian wrote:Believe me, I'd rather be dreaming about...BJ...Upton.
???
Yeah, that would be better also.
srsly?

Well, we have established elsewhere this morning that your pranks are a little weak.

Post by **brian** » Thu May 28, 2015 11:01 am

I wish I could remember what exactly the prank entailed but I was underwhelmed (the dream me).

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu May 28, 2015 11:07 am

rass wrote:
Jerloma wrote:
brian wrote:
rass wrote:
brian wrote:Believe me, I'd rather be dreaming about...BJ...Upton.
???
Yeah, that would be better also.
srsly?
Well, we have established elsewhere this morning that your pranks are a little weak.

Delaware will think it's funny.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu May 28, 2015 11:14 am

It would have been funny if you knew the guy. But I guess that isn't "edgy" enough for you.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu May 28, 2015 11:21 am

Yeah, that makes it infinitely less funny. Whatever I was going to do to the grocery store owner in Brian's dream would have been funnier.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Thu May 28, 2015 11:25 am

I laughed a little at the part about you washing your own cars.

Post by **Shirley** » Thu May 28, 2015 11:26 am

I think it just means Jerloma wants to bang his neighbor.

cerrano · Post by **cerrano** » Thu May 28, 2015 6:18 pm

brian wrote:I dreamt Jerloma took a job at a grocery store only to pull some elaborate prank on the owner involving some celebration they were having in his honor.

as soon as i read this i remembered one of loma's old avatars.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu May 28, 2015 9:54 pm

Ha! We're getting fucking old.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Jun 24, 2015 9:55 am

Not directly Swamp-related, but I had an oddly specific dream last night that I feel compelled to share:

Despite having virtually no knowledge of law, or interest at any point of my life in being a lawyer, I found myself serving as a public defender. Note that I was not an attorney in this dream either, just my regular self who due to unexplained Kafka-esque circumstances ended up in a courtroom. The defendant was some high school kid who had yelled "I'll kill you" in class and as a result was being charged with criminal threatening. This "kid," who was fat, bearded, several years too old for high school, and exceptionally dumb, was very clearly guilty, yet entirely convinced that I could get him acquitted, and when I expressed doubt, thought I was just a shitty attorney. When I suggested a plea bargain, he was completely dumbfounded. That's the last thing I can remember.

So, you're the experts...what does it mean?

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Wed Jun 24, 2015 10:42 am

Johnny Carwash wrote:Not directly Swamp-related, but I had an oddly specific dream last night that I feel compelled to share:

Despite having virtually no knowledge of law, or interest at any point of my life in being a lawyer, I found myself serving as a public defender. Note that I was not an attorney in this dream either, just my regular self who due to unexplained Kafka-esque circumstances ended up in a courtroom. The defendant was some high school kid who had yelled "I'll kill you" in class and as a result was being charged with criminal threatening. This "kid," who was fat, bearded, several years too old for high school, and exceptionally dumb, was very clearly guilty, yet entirely convinced that I could get him acquitted, and when I expressed doubt, thought I was just a shitty attorney. When I suggested a plea bargain, he was completely dumbfounded. That's the last thing I can remember.

So, you're the experts...what does it mean?

You were recently engrossed in a Jack Black movie?

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Jun 24, 2015 10:43 am

Speaking of, there's fucking Jack Black brand beer too. What's going on with that name?

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Jun 24, 2015 10:47 am

sancarlos wrote:You were recently engrossed in a Jack Black movie?

Did he make one like this? Usually my dreams draw elements from things I've recently seen or thought about, but this one was completely out of nowhere, which is why it was so odd.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Aug 21, 2015 7:24 am

I dunno if it's swamp related, but I dreamed I was at the DMV getting my license renewed...in Michigan...and everyone had greek names (which is something I mentioned in the swamp).

Also dreamed Andy Samberg and I did a variety review show and a chandelier fell on him.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Sat Aug 22, 2015 9:16 pm

Not dream related, but I walked past Old Bay potato chips in the supermarket, and couldn't help thinking about BFJ finger banging his wife. Anyone else have that issue?

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Sun Aug 23, 2015 3:15 am

No, but I did have a chuckle for an unknown reason at a mention of Old Bay this evening.

I thought it should be funny, but couldn't think why.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Jun 01, 2016 9:07 am

Not swamp-related, but a dream nonetheless. I dreamed I was in a helicopter crash, and went through the whole thing, hitting the ground, banging around and debris flying everywhere and then had to find my way out of the wreckage, and then pulled my best friend and the pilot out of the mess. The pilot was David Feherty.

Then my friend's wife got mad at me that we were in a crash.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Jan 06, 2017 9:27 am

Another non-Swamp related but still weird dream.

So I am at a party, and I have invited Patton Oswalt, who enters the dream pretty quickly. WE talk and joke, mostly about his books and standup, which I am sure bored him to tears, but I guess my subconscious only had so much source material and in his defense he was chill about it. Throughout the course of this party there are two women who have it for me something bad (hey, it's a dream, guys, let me do it). One of them is a super hot redhead, but she's literally insane. The other is a slightly less hot blonde, who apparently is my boss. She's pulling some slight harassment, but I'm the type of guy to let a little bit go, espcially since we're at a party.

The problem is, there's a third woman with whom I am doing some major texting, and at one point, inexplicably, Facebook Live, with and she's the one that I seem to want (ooh ooh ooh) but she's stuck in canada at work.

I go to get a drink, and there's a guy tending bar. Short, pudgy, looks a little like...Patton Oswalt, but obviously isn't because I was just hanging with my boy Patton. People are convinced it's Patton Oswalt and imploring him to do the "Ratataouille voice" (which is really just Patton Oswalt's voice) and this kid is getting all the laughs. I freak out and go off on this guy, telling him that he's not Patton Oswalt because obviously I was just throwing some back with the legit Patton. I'm angry as shit and storm off.

As I'm leaving, both of the women at the party accost me and try to get me to come home with them, but I'm too pissed off. So I go sit at a fountain - which is the one from the opening sequence of Friends - and Facetime Miss Canada. She doesn't answer. And I wake up. I think I was in a strange Curb Your Enthusiasm simulcast.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Tue Nov 14, 2017 9:20 am

I have 1-2 very short dreams a year - last night was about 15 seconds where I was in the same class (like 7th grade, maybe) as Tomi Lahren and on the first day of school when the teacher called her name, I stood up from the back row and said, "it's actually Tammy"

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Tue Nov 14, 2017 10:10 am

Even in your dreams you have a girlfriend in Canada?

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Tue Nov 14, 2017 10:28 am

A_B wrote:Another non-Swamp related but still weird dream.

So I am at a party, and I have invited Patton Oswalt, who enters the dream pretty quickly. WE talk and joke, mostly about his books and standup, which I am sure bored him to tears, but I guess my subconscious only had so much source material and in his defense he was chill about it. Throughout the course of this party there are two women who have it for me something bad (hey, it's a dream, guys, let me do it). One of them is a super hot redhead, but she's literally insane. The other is a slightly less hot blonde, who apparently is my boss. She's pulling some slight harassment, but I'm the type of guy to let a little bit go, espcially since we're at a party.

The problem is, there's a third woman with whom I am doing some major texting, and at one point, inexplicably, Facebook Live, with and she's the one that I seem to want (ooh ooh ooh) but she's stuck in canada at work.

I go to get a drink, and there's a guy tending bar. Short, pudgy, looks a little like...Patton Oswalt, but obviously isn't because I was just hanging with my boy Patton. People are convinced it's Patton Oswalt and imploring him to do the "Ratataouille voice" (which is really just Patton Oswalt's voice) and this kid is getting all the laughs. I freak out and go off on this guy, telling him that he's not Patton Oswalt because obviously I was just throwing some back with the legit Patton. I'm angry as shit and storm off.

As I'm leaving, both of the women at the party accost me and try to get me to come home with them, but I'm too pissed off. So I go sit at a fountain - which is the one from the opening sequence of Friends - and Facetime Miss Canada. She doesn't answer. And I wake up. I think I was in a strange Curb Your Enthusiasm simulcast.

LOW MAN ON THE TOTEM POLE!

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Thu Mar 15, 2018 9:10 am

TT called me up last night while I was in Vegas for some unknown reason. That's all I remember. Carry on.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Thu Mar 15, 2018 10:28 am

Not Swamp-related, but I dreamt that I was at a game at San Paolo stadium in Napoli flirting at a concession stand with a hot middle-aged Polish woman. I was looking for souvenirs, but the vendor kept showing me hard-core porn.

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Apr 16, 2018 6:45 am

I woke up at around 3:30AM this morning, and had a bit of trouble falling back asleep. I eventually realized that my shorts were damp, and a quick transfer of scent from shorts to fingers to nose told me I had pissed myself rather than emissioned nocturnally (given where this is going, I guess that’s good).

It wasn’t a complete disaster. I sleep with a body pillow* and what little I let loose seemed to have been contained by the cover of that and my shorts, so the sheets were completely dry. After getting up to fully evacuate, change my shorts and hang them and the pilled cover up to dry, and admitting to my wife what had happened and assuring her I was OK, I got back into bed and tried to figure out what had happened. I do have recurring dreams where I have to piss but can’t, that I can only assume correspond with instances where I do in reality need to piss and the dream is the result of some subconscious struggle between the physical and the mental and the instinctual. The last time I lost that battle was at some point between 2000 and 2004 (I just know where I was living at the time and can’t place it any better than that). I believe that was a much more voluminous experience.

Without too much trouble, my mind was kind enough to recall exactly what I had been dreaming prior to the event:

I was going to a concert. I can’t remember what band/artist. I think at some point it was to take place in western Pennsylvania, though by the end it was NYC. However, the PA location of course explained why A_B was willing to make the quick trip over to meet us. mister d and a couple of “real life” friends** were also to attend with us. Reality was fluid (ha) in this dream, and at some point A_B’s house became the pre-concert meetup spot. His house was brick, and his neighborhood had a distinctly Pittsburgh-ish vibe (I guess this was before the mental flip to Manhattan). I met his wife and kids, and he had three daughters instead of two. The two youngest were pretty young, and constantly sniped at each other trying to make each other cry, so they might as well have been stand-ins for my own kids.

At some point it became time to leave, but no one else was there yet. My real life friends were not answering their texts or phone, but I also knew that they like to drive into the city themselves rather than take public transportation, so I assumed they were driving and couldn’t respond. mister d sent me back a steady stream (ha) of texts that in-dream me recognized as verbatim excerpts*** from my Swamp post where I related the evening I saw him in a local restaurant with his family and demurred from the opportunity to introduce myself, using my own words against me as an excuse for his absence.

At some point I went to the bathroom to piss, and I guess that’s where I lost control. Everything that was wet was a bit cold when I finally awoke and realized what had happened, so I don’t think I woke up right away, but I also don’t have any further recollection from the dream after peeing.

*This has been the case since H2C, when even though I had a bed in the house, I fell asleep on a couch while a group of us were watching USA Basketball in the 2008 Summer Olympics (against Spain?). I ended up sleeping on my side, with my poor, beat-up knees resting against each other all night and holy shit were they sore in the morning. My wife had just had our second daughter earlier that year, and we had an overabundance of body pillows in the house, and when I got home I grabbed one and never let go.

**Oddly enough, the other couple was not cerrano and mrs cerrano, even though he would be an obvious choice to bridge the gap between the real world and the Swamp, and I was just texting him yesterday about getting together this week. He did turn me down, so perhaps I’m bitter?

***It turns out they weren’t.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Mon Apr 16, 2018 10:45 am

You might want to get a checkup at the doctor's.

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:26 am

That sidebar about explaining the Swamp was interesting.

My first real experience with a message board was over on BigSoccer. I even moderated the Yanks Abroad board for awhile. I have about 6 folks that became "real life" friends and we meet up every couple of years or so. Been to some weddings, even.

I met a batch of folks in DC a number of years back, but I'm having a tough time remembering who was in that group... I remember wlu_lax.. Was TB there? I don't remember who was traveling into town for that.

I'd like to do that again if the opportunity comes up.

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Apr 16, 2018 2:20 pm

sancarlos wrote: ↑Mon Apr 16, 2018 10:45 am You might want to get a checkup at the doctor's.

I hope I'm not such a lame worrywart after my first heart attack.

(seriously, if it happens again I probably will - need to go for a physical this spring anyway)

tennbengal · Post by **tennbengal** » Mon Apr 16, 2018 2:28 pm

Nonlinear FC wrote: ↑Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:26 am That sidebar about explaining the Swamp was interesting.

My first real experience with a message board was over on BigSoccer. I even moderated the Yanks Abroad board for awhile. I have about 6 folks that became "real life" friends and we meet up every couple of years or so. Been to some weddings, even.

I met a batch of folks in DC a number of years back, but I'm having a tough time remembering who was in that group... I remember wlu_lax.. Was TB there? I don't remember who was traveling into town for that.

I'd like to do that again if the opportunity comes up.

I was there, yup. WLU, you, and...hmmmm. My mind is blanking too.

By the way, for those who met CoffeeforClosers/remember him, he has moved on from the Pirates and is now working for the Reds. I am hoping it isn't like waking up on the Titanic at this point...

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Mon Apr 16, 2018 3:02 pm

rass wrote: ↑Mon Apr 16, 2018 2:20 pm(seriously, if i... ...p... again I probably will - need to go for a physical this spring anyway)