FBI investigating Cardinals hacking Astros computers

Post by **brian** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:39 am

I mean this deserves it's own thread.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:40 am

I'm putting the pieces together, and I think all the Astros servers are under Tal's Hill

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:42 am

I bet the Cardinals will just move the hackers to a new parish

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:42 am

Someone else go.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:43 am

How long before they proclaim themselves the best hackers in sports?

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:43 am

Usually its the Astros doing the hacking (is a joke that really works given their MLB low 74.8% contact rate).

(Yes, I'm aware swing percentage would have made for a cleaner joke, but they don't lead the league in swing percentage.)

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:44 am

[Ruben Amaro smiles smugly]

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:46 am

mister d wrote:Usually its the Astros doing the hacking (is a joke that really works given their MLB low 74.8% contact rate).

(Yes, I'm aware swing percentage would have made for a cleaner joke, but they don't lead the league in swing percentage.)

HOW DID YOU FIND THAT OUT?

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:49 am

ID: jluhnow
PW: bradyisachin

Post by **brian** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:52 am

All of the takes are coming. This is pretty much a perfect storm. The next week of idiots pontificating about this is going to undo all of my schaudenfreude.

rass · Post by **rass** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:54 am

/boxcar

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:55 am

I can't wait for Rush's "wait, you believe a lower level statistician would do this without direction from Mozeliak but you don't believe a ballboy would deflate a football without direction from Brady SMDH!!!" take. I'm excited a lot.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:57 am

Voros McCracken ‏@VorosM 1 minute ago
You basement dwellers were warned about how your computers and assorted nerdery would ruin the game, but did you listen? Hope you're happy.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 11:01 am

"Guys, what did we dig up?"
"We don't know yet, sir. It's all ones and zeroes."
"(Rips printout from old-school printer) This is just Chris Carter's game log!"

Post by **brian** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 11:06 am

This is going to be doubly awesome for me since my company is in STL and my fellow employees write the kind of shit that gets re-tweeted on BestFansStLouis

I've already gotten one "the rest of MLB is just jealous". This will be a fun week.

Post by **Sabo** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 12:03 pm

@SamMillerBP wrote:Cardinals hacking the All-Star voting to ensure home field advantage suddenly more plausible than "there are just so many Royals fans"

tennbengal · Post by **tennbengal** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 12:09 pm

This is just delightful.

The FBI is on fire. First FIFA and now the Cardinals.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:25 pm

Probably a stupid question but it is a real crime if you guess passwords for someone's account, right? Just doesn't seem like "hacking" to me. I try to guess WiFi passwords all the time, which is probably technically a crime as well.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:27 pm

Probably akin to finding someone's keys and just walking into their house, right?

Post by **brian** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:28 pm

Gunpowder wrote:Probably a stupid question but it is a real crime if you guess passwords for someone's account, right? Just doesn't seem like "hacking" to me. I try to guess WiFi passwords all the time, which is probably technically a crime as well.

Like most crimes, it's a level of degree.

"Hacking" someone's WiFi password, while technically illegal, is the equivalent of a jaywalking ticket. If you guess someone's password to access a business database, that (depending on the company) could mean pound me in the ass prison time.

ETA: Put another way, the presence of a password is all that's needed for it to be a crime.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:36 pm

mister d wrote:Probably akin to finding someone's keys and just walking into their house, right?

If you're willing to say that downloading a song off Napster is the same as stealing a CD single from a Sam Goody, then yes, exactly.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 2:01 pm

Napster is only a loss if you otherwise would have bought the music. Me going there now and downloading "The Best of Rick Ross" isn't anyone's loss because there was never a gain to be had. With the Cardinals and Astros, there's loss of the proprietary-ness of their data.

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 2:09 pm

Leaving the keys in the car a better analogy?

Post by **brian** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 2:11 pm

Nonlinear FC wrote:Leaving the keys in the car a better analogy?

Works either way. If someone leaves their key in their lock and you walk in, you're still trespassing. If they leave their keys in an unlocked car, it's still auto theft.

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 2:22 pm

brian wrote:
Nonlinear FC wrote:Leaving the keys in the car a better analogy?
Works either way. If someone leaves their key in their lock and you walk in, you're still trespassing. If they leave their keys in an unlocked car, it's still auto theft.

Exactly. And the analogy also serves to highlight how dumb it is to leave your keys in the car/door--put really weak/easy to guess passwords on proprietary work accounts.

Steve of phpBB · Post by **Steve of phpBB** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 2:25 pm

If you are knowingly accessing a competitor's trade secrets when you have a good reason to believe the owner of the secrets considers them private, then it's a crime. Whether you got the password by guessing right, or breaking a code, or sneaking into the office and stealing it from someone's desk, doesn't matter as far as the trade secret violation.

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 3:42 pm

GatewayGate? WachaLeaks?

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 4:04 pm

I know -gate is really used up at this point, but of all the -gates, this is the one where the actual alleged offense is closest in nature to the original Watergate, right?

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 4:07 pm

Well, there's this one.

Post by **brian** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 12:53 pm

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 1:09 pm

That is a great takedown by KSK.

Bensell · Post by **Bensell** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 9:53 am

Ryan wrote:I bet the Cardinals will just move the hackers to a new parish

This is fucking gold.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Jul 02, 2015 3:26 pm

Add "Cardinals Fire Scouting Director" to the pre-holiday news dump.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 4:19 pm

So, if I read right, this dude has plead guilty across the board, waiving his right to appeal, but maintains (against evidence) that he was only in there to prove the Astros stole Cardinals data.

Post by **brian** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 4:22 pm

mister d wrote:So, if I read right, this dude has plead guilty across the board, waiving his right to appeal, but maintains (against evidence) that he was only in there to prove the Astros stole Cardinals data.

It's what Belichick would have done.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 6:30 pm

I don't follow baseball anymore, but is this some of that there sabermatics?

rass · Post by **rass** » Sat Jan 23, 2016 4:12 pm

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Joe K · Post by **Joe K** » Mon Jan 25, 2016 10:07 am

rass wrote:hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Bumping this because it's way too good to get buried. And because all my coworkers are Cardinals fans and probably won't appreciate how hilarious this is.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Jan 25, 2016 10:11 am

(all St. Louis-area sportswriters frantically change their passwords)

howard · Post by **howard** » Mon Jan 25, 2016 5:47 pm

(aw, just write your own joke for the image) (After the merger)