The I need to buy a house thread

Okay . . . let's try this again.

Moderators: Shirley, Sabo, brian, rass, DaveInSeattle

User avatar
A_B
The Dude
Posts: 23319
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:36 am
Location: Getting them boards like a wolf in the chicken pen.

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by A_B »

Shit. 8.7 million clover in the yard. Hit submit too soon.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
User avatar
Brontoburglar
The Dude
Posts: 5851
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:20 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

The Sybian wrote: Tue Jun 04, 2019 8:54 pm
Brontoburglar wrote: Tue Jun 04, 2019 5:44 pm

eta: my house was stupid cheap, what we're looking at for a spacious 4BR is what y'all coasters would pay for a tiny 2BR apt. go midwest!
You are paying $2 million for a house?
more like $3M
More important, who are you moving in with? I don't think you have a mentioned a new woman in your life since you broke up with the woman with the weird vacation house situation.
there is evidence on Facebook! I think we're around 15 months or so right now.

the weird vacation house situation is very close to two years to the day right now. damn! LA is the first real serious one since her (I picked a lot better this time around)
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
User avatar
Brontoburglar
The Dude
Posts: 5851
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:20 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

A_B wrote: Tue Jun 04, 2019 9:31 pm I have 4 br 3.5 baths and 2933 sq feet. 8.7 million.
this is the arrangement/size of the house we're eyeballing

there's a 4300 sq foot house in the neighborhood I want that's down to a nice $69/sq ft. and it looks good, especially since we'd have money in the budget for upgrades. but there's gotta be something seriously wrong with it given that it's been on the market for a long time in one of the most desirable places in the area.

(fwiw you can get a great place for $100-120 a sq ft in the really cool neighborhoods north of the river. the river makes real estate a lot cheaper here for some reason despite the fact that the area just north of it has gotten awesome with breweries and bars and shops and you're ~10-15 min from downtown with minimal traffic compared to the areas south of downtown. I'm about 10 min north of downtown right now -- and 20 min from the airport -- and have no desire to move any further away from the city center)
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29047
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by mister d »

I know I’m an anti-space weirdo, but I see 4,000 sq ft and less than six kids and I just feel like it’s more space/roof to maintain and for things to possibly go wrong in.

(And if it’s been sitting for a while in a theoretically great economy, you have to wonder both what’s wrong and how you’d sell it down the line if necessary.)

((River area I’d guess either uninsurable flood / mandatory flood insurance zone if not the standard school answer. There’s a great town around here (Syb/Rass name it!) that is like half flood zone and it was just too terrifying to even bother looking.))
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by rass »

Cranford

Love parking downtown there and seeing the warning signs that the lot is in a flood zone and you're on your own if your car floats away.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
User avatar
Brontoburglar
The Dude
Posts: 5851
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:20 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

mister d wrote: Wed Jun 05, 2019 7:33 am I know I’m an anti-space weirdo, but I see 4,000 sq ft and less than six kids and I just feel like it’s more space/roof to maintain and for things to possibly go wrong in.

(And if it’s been sitting for a while in a theoretically great economy, you have to wonder both what’s wrong and how you’d sell it down the line if necessary.)

((River area I’d guess either uninsurable flood / mandatory flood insurance zone if not the standard school answer. There’s a great town around here (Syb/Rass name it!) that is like half flood zone and it was just too terrifying to even bother looking.))
crazily it's none of the double parentheticals -- hence my apprehension. not close to the river (and on the cliff above it, makes sense given the name of the neighborhood!) and a 3 min drive from a good elementary school + in the district of the most culturally and academically diverse high school in the area.

it may be worth going to look at for the hell of it if it's still on the market when we're in town next weekend just to see what the heck is wrong with it

eta: I also don't think it's 4,300 true after looking at the pics. my guess is they're counting the garage or something. there's plenty of space, walk out basement with a deck above the patio, etc, etc, but it doesn't look gargantuan.

eta2: they've done a really good job in KC in terms of having industrial/non-residential on the north side of the river. there's a lot of new apartments on the south side right by the river, but they're not close to being flooded at the moment and only a park on the north side is underwater right now.

the river is absurdly high at the moment. probably the highest it's been since the flood of 93
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29047
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by mister d »

Brontoburglar wrote: Wed Jun 05, 2019 9:14 am+ in the district of the most culturally and academically diverse high school in the area.
Think I've solved this one.
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
User avatar
Brontoburglar
The Dude
Posts: 5851
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:20 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

you have not -- houses in that neighborhood typically sell within a weekend or a week at most and it's most/all families moving into the area with boomers/older folks moving out

eta: this city has its issues but it is, thankfully, very unlike the rest of the state
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
User avatar
Nonlinear FC
The Dude
Posts: 10742
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:09 pm

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Nonlinear FC »

Not a comparable situation, but definitely go look at it... When we were looking around the market was stupid hot. A house in a decent hood was going before it even listed (pre-open house). We were about a month into our search when our realtor said we should at least swing by the house that had been on the market for 4 weeks at that point.

We thought there must be something seriously wrong with it, but the neighborhood and overall location was so good, we thought maybe it's worth a fixer upper type situation. We get to the open house, and it's mostly neighbors marking off stuff to buy in the impending yard sale.

Here's the deal: The family did absolutely nothing to declutter or stage the house. Even though it was a seller's market, there was still an expectation that you'd make *some* effort to get it ready to show. These guys did nothing. They had really horrible carpets covering up hardwood (which I confirmed by pulling up the carpet in the corner of the LR. And every room had hideous wallpaper. Every. Room.

So, people were walking into this completely cluttered house (sold by original owners), jacked up back yard (trees everywhere, no grass) and just saying "too much work."

We looked at it and said SOLD!
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
User avatar
duff
Donny
Posts: 2745
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 3:36 pm

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by duff »

When we purchased our house four years ago, we weren't even looking in the area. But the house came up, our realtor suggested we take a look at it. Mama Duff was curious because of the new kitchen. Went to the house and fell in love with it. It was listed at 65K less than value. Only on the market for 2 hours before we offered. Got very lucky. Completely move in ready with manicured yard.

Houses in the neighborhood are moving quick. Neighbor just sold for about 35K above listing and even though it is larger than ours, the house isn't as nice. Thinking we could get a really good price if we decide to sell.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
HaulCitgo
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4444
Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:07 pm

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by HaulCitgo »

Probably my favorite digs of all time in a KC factory loft. Always smelled like coffee.
User avatar
Steve of phpBB
The Dude
Posts: 8435
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 10:44 am
Location: Feeling gravity's pull

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Steve of phpBB »

mister d wrote: Wed Jun 05, 2019 7:33 am I know I’m an anti-space weirdo, but I see 4,000 sq ft and less than six kids and I just feel like it’s more space/roof to maintain and for things to possibly go wrong in.
That was my thought. But now that both my kids are teenagers, I would kill for two thousand extra square feet.

(But of course it'd be foolish to buy up to address that situation, since they will both be in college and hopefully out of the house soon. My son, who went away to school last fall but then came back, is hopefully about to move into an apartment next week.)
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.
User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29047
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by mister d »

Brontoburglar wrote: Wed Jun 05, 2019 9:29 am you have not -- houses in that neighborhood typically sell within a weekend or a week at most and it's most/all families moving into the area with boomers/older folks moving out

eta: this city has its issues but it is, thankfully, very unlike the rest of the state
Now I kinda want to see the listing.
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
User avatar
Brontoburglar
The Dude
Posts: 5851
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:20 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

enjoy!

(it was relisted for maybe the second time so it's not a new listing)
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
User avatar
Sabo
The Dude
Posts: 5466
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:33 am
Location: On the trail

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Sabo »

Brontoburglar wrote: Wed Jun 05, 2019 12:09 pm enjoy!

(it was relisted for maybe the second time so it's not a new listing)
Image #11 will be a great spot for your Peloton.
Birds don’t suck. They lack the necessary anatomical structures to do so.
User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29047
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by mister d »

Really like the "DO ME" wall hanging in pic 5.
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
User avatar
sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 18063
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by sancarlos »

Sabo wrote: Wed Jun 05, 2019 12:14 pm
Brontoburglar wrote: Wed Jun 05, 2019 12:09 pm enjoy!

(it was relisted for maybe the second time so it's not a new listing)
Image #11 will be a great spot for your Peloton.
$300K for that? Un-fucking-believably inexpensive.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29047
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by mister d »

Shitty backyard is the only thing I can see. No way you're getting more than $1.1MM for that here.
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
User avatar
sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 18063
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by sancarlos »

mister d wrote: Wed Jun 05, 2019 12:33 pm Shitty backyard is the only thing I can see. No way you're getting more than $1.1MM for that here.
That would be worth three million in my town. At least 5 mill in Palo Alto.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
User avatar
BSF21
The Dude
Posts: 5261
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 2:08 pm
Location: Playing one off the Monster

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by BSF21 »

Brontoburglar wrote: Wed Jun 05, 2019 12:09 pm enjoy!

(it was relisted for maybe the second time so it's not a new listing)
Sharp looking place. Great for the money. We looked at a house we loved but it was out of our range, but it was bigger than that. 3 floors with a basement. So happy we didn’t “find a way to make that work”. The more I thought about it the more I wondered how I’d ever fill half that living space. Too much house, too much maintenance.
Dances with Wolves (1) - BSF

"This place was rockin'," said BSF21.

"There is nothing ever uncommon about BSF21."
User avatar
Brontoburglar
The Dude
Posts: 5851
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:20 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

whichever one of you guys put the pending offer in on it today, i'm like 5 min away so invite me to your housewarming party
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 16732
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: TUCSON, BITCH!

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Johnnie »

That house is gorgeous. I like it. Now I gotta see what a similar spot like that goes for here.

Edit: $500k to $1.2m. for >4k sq ft.
Last edited by Johnnie on Wed Jun 05, 2019 8:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.
User avatar
duff
Donny
Posts: 2745
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 3:36 pm

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by duff »

Looks like home prices are the same in northern Indiana as in KC. Good to know.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
User avatar
testuser2
Brandt
Posts: 493
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 11:53 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by testuser2 »

We are in the process of building a new house closer to town. We couldn't find anything we really liked. When the houses had what we wanted they were huge. So far we bought a lot and have a builder. Anyone ever build their own house? Trying to make sure you don't get screwed in some way seems impossible.
User avatar
Rush2112
The Dude
Posts: 7277
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:35 pm
Location: Cyrus X-1
Contact:

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Rush2112 »

BSF21 wrote: Wed Jun 05, 2019 4:01 pm The more I thought about it the more I wondered how I’d ever fill half that living space.
Cigar and bourbon room. Vinyl listening room. It's easy!
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
User avatar
GoodKarma
The Big Lebowski
Posts: 1508
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 12:14 pm
Location: Colorado

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by GoodKarma »

testuser2 wrote: Thu Jun 06, 2019 9:47 am We are in the process of building a new house closer to town. We couldn't find anything we really liked. When the houses had what we wanted they were huge. So far we bought a lot and have a builder. Anyone ever build their own house? Trying to make sure you don't get screwed in some way seems impossible.
I have. Is it through a mass-market builder like M/I or D.R. Horton? Or did you buy the lot on your own and hire your own contractor?

If you took the first option the builder does everything for you so all you'll have to do is pick out finishes. My advice for this scenario is plan to go over budget with add-ons and don't be afraid to do so if you are able. If you want to add a covered porch or finish the basement it's easier to do it now then have it done later. You may find some more expensive finishes like flooring or fixtures that you prefer. Also, think about the everyday things like outlet placement, , doors, built-in lighting, etc. For example, if it works better to have a door to the garage exit from the side as opposed to the back go ahead and request the change. Or maybe you want french doors out to the patio instead of sliding glass.

I did the second option. We picked the floor plan out of a magazine and ordered the blueprints ourselves but made some adjustments to the design.
The contractor I hired did the foundation, framing and finishing work. He had to sub out the plumbing, HVAC & concrete work. If you are doing this take into account all the things I said above but also make sure to stay on top of whomever is serving as the general contractor to make sure they are staying on time and paying their subs. I went to refinance the house we built a couple years later and found out there was lien on the property placed by the HVAC company. Turns out my contractor was slow in paying them so they placed the lien then forgot to take it off. I had a couple of complaints during the build that he wasn't the most reliable making payments. If I build again I decided I'm serving as my own general contractor and farming out all the work myself.
I would like expensive whiskey.
We only have beer & wine...
What am I, 12?
User avatar
sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 18063
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by sancarlos »

Probably goes without saying, but if you hire your own contractor, you better watch him like a hawk. I’ve known many people who had remodels done and more often than not there is a dispute with the contractor somewhere along the line. Often because they don’t follow the plans and/or cut corners along the way.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
User avatar
Steve of phpBB
The Dude
Posts: 8435
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 10:44 am
Location: Feeling gravity's pull

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Steve of phpBB »

GoodKarma wrote: Thu Jun 06, 2019 12:07 pm
testuser2 wrote: Thu Jun 06, 2019 9:47 am We are in the process of building a new house closer to town. We couldn't find anything we really liked. When the houses had what we wanted they were huge. So far we bought a lot and have a builder. Anyone ever build their own house? Trying to make sure you don't get screwed in some way seems impossible.
I have. Is it through a mass-market builder like M/I or D.R. Horton? Or did you buy the lot on your own and hire your own contractor?

If you took the first option the builder does everything for you so all you'll have to do is pick out finishes. My advice for this scenario is plan to go over budget with add-ons and don't be afraid to do so if you are able. If you want to add a covered porch or finish the basement it's easier to do it now then have it done later. You may find some more expensive finishes like flooring or fixtures that you prefer. Also, think about the everyday things like outlet placement, , doors, built-in lighting, etc. For example, if it works better to have a door to the garage exit from the side as opposed to the back go ahead and request the change. Or maybe you want french doors out to the patio instead of sliding glass.

I did the second option. We picked the floor plan out of a magazine and ordered the blueprints ourselves but made some adjustments to the design.
The contractor I hired did the foundation, framing and finishing work. He had to sub out the plumbing, HVAC & concrete work. If you are doing this take into account all the things I said above but also make sure to stay on top of whomever is serving as the general contractor to make sure they are staying on time and paying their subs. I went to refinance the house we built a couple years later and found out there was lien on the property placed by the HVAC company. Turns out my contractor was slow in paying them so they placed the lien then forgot to take it off. I had a couple of complaints during the build that he wasn't the most reliable making payments. If I build again I decided I'm serving as my own general contractor and farming out all the work myself.
If you are paying for the construction as it goes, through a general or construction manager, insist on lien waivers as a condition of making any progress payments. In other words, if your general contractor is including the plumbing work through April 30 in his invoice to you, then he should be providing you with a waiver, signed by the plumbing sub, saying that "contingent on payment of $________, I waive all mechanic's lien and payment bond rights for any work performed through April 30."

Another good thing to do is issue joint checks to your general and your sub, so the general cannot abscond with the money.

(One final option is to pay the subcontractors directly. Again, the lien waivers are important.)
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.
User avatar
testuser2
Brandt
Posts: 493
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 11:53 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by testuser2 »

Steve of phpBB wrote: Thu Jun 06, 2019 1:08 pm
If you are paying for the construction as it goes, through a general or construction manager, insist on lien waivers as a condition of making any progress payments. In other words, if your general contractor is including the plumbing work through April 30 in his invoice to you, then he should be providing you with a waiver, signed by the plumbing sub, saying that "contingent on payment of $________, I waive all mechanic's lien and payment bond rights for any work performed through April 30."

Another good thing to do is issue joint checks to your general and your sub, so the general cannot abscond with the money.

(One final option is to pay the subcontractors directly. Again, the lien waivers are important.)
We are using a custom home builder. So our process is find some plans style we like and then work with their designer/architect to make our own plans. We did some reference checks on our builder, but the lien waiver process looks promising. Our loan agent at the bank talked through some of it. I think their pricing is in line with the area, but I really need to understand the lien waivers and the structured payment options.

Did you end up getting hit with any overages? Our builder does a complete contract that includes everything from clearing the lot to planting grass afterwards. Along the way we have allowances built in to pick things like flooring, appliances, fixtures, etc... Ex: Initial contract includes $15K for kitchen appliances. The only thing they don't include is around excavation and if they run into substantial amounts of rock.

Some of this is just anxiety about paying a huge chunk of cash for something that doesn't yet exist.
User avatar
GoodKarma
The Big Lebowski
Posts: 1508
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 12:14 pm
Location: Colorado

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by GoodKarma »

I got hit with ~$5,000 charge to tap into the village sewer line that the contractor did not know about. It was the cost the city charges to run the line from the street to the house. He had never built in our town before.
I would like expensive whiskey.
We only have beer & wine...
What am I, 12?
User avatar
Brontoburglar
The Dude
Posts: 5851
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:20 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

this fun process of selling one house to buy another is going to be a major pain in the ass, isn't it?
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
HaulCitgo
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4444
Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:07 pm

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by HaulCitgo »

Not really. If you hire an agent they do everything to sell. Buying is mostly fun and financing paperwork.
User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29047
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by mister d »

Unless you have the stomach for potentially holding two mortgages? Yes. We've always sold first to avoid any potential worst-case scenarios.
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 27740
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: Downtown Las Vegas

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by brian »

Personally, I think the actual process of physically moving is probably way worse than anything else involved, even if you hire movers (which you should).
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
User avatar
Giff
The Dude
Posts: 10794
Joined: Mon Mar 25, 2013 3:26 pm

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Giff »

We had to sell our old house in 5 weeks to be able to get our current house at a special price. It happened, but it was stressful as hell.
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
User avatar
Brontoburglar
The Dude
Posts: 5851
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:20 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

HaulCitgo wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2019 3:26 pm Not really. If you hire an agent they do everything to sell. Buying is mostly fun and financing paperwork.
"everything" eh?

lemme call up my agent and see when he can come over and clean my house and pack my shit up.
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
User avatar
Brontoburglar
The Dude
Posts: 5851
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:20 am

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

mister d wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2019 3:30 pm Unless you have the stomach for potentially holding two mortgages? Yes. We've always sold first to avoid any potential worst-case scenarios.
yeah, we're not doing that because our down payment is coming from my house

the upshot is that we're timing this out pretty well so that when I go on the market -- and I bet my house makes it less than a week -- we've got 60-90 to find a place that we love.

I anticipate the worst times being now until listing date (three weeks away or so) because I'm getting everything cleaned and packed and organized that's not necessary for staging purposes and then the week right before and after closing where we're moving in. the post-staging in-between time won't be that bad I don't think?

and yes, we're hiring movers for all the big shit.
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
HaulCitgo
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4444
Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:07 pm

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by HaulCitgo »

Brontoburglar wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2019 5:22 pm
HaulCitgo wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2019 3:26 pm Not really. If you hire an agent they do everything to sell. Buying is mostly fun and financing paperwork.
"everything" eh?

lemme call up my agent and see when he can come over and clean my house and pack my shit up.
It's all in how you phrase it. Mention a 2.5 percent commission or hiring a better broker and voila... A crew arrives to do just that.

Probably said it before but I have a massive problem with paying brokers a percentage. Same work... Add a zero to the contract and somehow they're entitled to 10x the money. Insane.
User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 18865
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by The Sybian »

HaulCitgo wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2019 3:26 pm Not really. If you hire an agent they do everything to sell. Buying is mostly fun and financing paperwork.
Holy fuck, I cannot disagree with this statement any more... Been in limbo over buying a house for months, and the torture is destroying us. After almost 3 years of trying to get an addition done on our house and 3 different architects ending up fucking up our plans through laziness, incompetence or misunderstandings, we gave up, although we do have a brand new kitchen that wasn't supposed to be started until after the addition finished... Put an offer on a house, went into attorney review, and a second offer came in. Went to a bidding war, and we lost out.

Our realtor suggested we take another look at a house she has listed. We saw her there at an open house several months prior, and while a gorgeous new construction house, it was way over our budget. Just a fun stop and look. House went under contract, but the deal fell through because the buyer had a sales contingency, and their inspection turned up some water damage in the basement, which was caused by an underground river they didn't know about. So our realtor suggested we float an offer, and while she couldn't say the seller was in a desperate spot, she hinted. The house had just reduced $60,000 and we put in a lowball offer $50,000 below the new reduced price, assuming they wouldn't even counter. They came up $10,000 from our offer, we held firm and they agreed. So we suddenly had a dream house way below what it should sell for, and $100,000 below what it was contracted for 2 months prior.

The day after we had the offer accepted, our realtor did a permit check, and saw there was a decommissioned oil tank somewhere under the house. In 1996, they filled the tank with foam, and left it buried, NJ Law now requires tanks are removed. The seller agreed to take all costs and responsibility to remediate the situation, but it took a couple weeks to get a company out to locate the tank, which we expected would be under the house, since they doubled the square footage of the previous house. Talked to a couple environmental and real estate attorneys I'm friends with, they both freaked and told us to run. Our attorney said we can't until and unless they discover contamination. And by the way, your $99,000 good faith payment is due tomorrow. So they locate the tank, under the driveway, and now they need to apply for a permit which takes 2 weeks, then they have to schedule removal which takes another week. Tank removed, no sign of contamination, but there are several holes in the tank, so they need to take soil samples and submit to the state, which takes 10 days. All this time, the mortgage company is yelling at me to get all my paperwork done and pay the downpayment, which I don't want to pay if the soil is contaminated. And we keep postponing the inspection because we don't want to pay for that if the soil is contaminated. Soil comes back with no signs of contamination, but it will take another month or two before the state Dept of Environmental Protection makes a determination.

So here we are 2 weeks out from closing, and we just did the inspection Saturday. Several issues need to be addressed, but closing in 2 weeks, so there is no way they can get the repairs done, even if they agree to them. Timing wise, we can't do the closing the following month, so I think this is all going to go to shit. In the meantime, I've spent every spare minute the past 2 months shopping for furniture, planning the move, clearing out my house, doing minor repairs, spending hours with blinds people picking out shit for the 40 windows in this damned house... Not to mention, there were some bizarre design choices we didn't notice right away, which we discovered in our dozens of trips back to the house. They don't have a mudroom, and the garage opens directly into a formal family room. No where for shoes or coats, and a tiny coat closet at the opposite end of the house by the front door. This is a deal breaker for my wife, but we found a handyman who had a plan to carve out a mudroom in the seemingly oversized garage. Great all set. Until the next time we go, my wife decides to pull into the garage and realizes there isn't enough room for her to park with the mudroom. Panic sets in, I spend two days trying to get out of the deal, but can't unless the soil is contaminated or inspection issue they refuse to address. The other side of the garage has a closet around the water heater and furnace. Didn't think anything of it, as the garage seemed huge. Tried pulling in, and my midsize care is 2 feet too long to fit in the garage.*

Basically, it's been a nonstop rollercoaster of being excited about the house, then desperately wanting to get out of the deal, all the while still not knowing if we are going to get the house or not. We should get the inspection report tomorrow to make a list of items to request. No idea how much of it the seller will want to take on. They will also need to agree on leaving substantial money in escrow to pay for any potential remediation if the DEP comes back with issues, which is very unlikely but possible. I just need this nightmare to end.

So we have some work to do on our house, and decided to move out first, then fix up the house after we are out. A bit dangerous to buy before selling, but I'm hoping we got a great deal partially because it's the slow season, and we go to market at the start of the Spring market (February), and hopefully the higher market will pay for the carrying costs. Just need to deal with 2 driveways during snow storms, 2 yards for leaves... Yeah, fucking nightmare. We are buying in the same town, maybe 2 miles apart, so that is manageable at least.


*[on the plus side, the inspector determined the water heater is not compliant as it's too close to the ground. They put a louvered door on the closet, because the furnace requires air, but then screwed plywood over the grates, because the water heater needs separation from the gasoline fumes in the garage. Perfect solution is to remove the water heater, put in a tankless, get rid of the closet and my car will easily fit.]
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 18865
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: The I need to buy a house thread

Post by The Sybian »

Brontoburglar wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2019 5:25 pm
the upshot is that we're timing this out pretty well so that when I go on the market -- and I bet my house makes it less than a week -- we've got 60-90 to find a place that we love.

It's not that easy to time the sales. In NJ, you can't get anyone to take more than a 60 day closing, and many are pushing for 30. Shit always goes wrong [see my long post about discovering oil tank], if we had to sell at the same time, we'd be fucked. When we bought our current house, we sold the same day. We were ready to make an offer as soon as we got one on our house. Had our offer accepted, then the seller flaked out and backed out during attorney review. We were left in a bind, as we had a very short window to buy. Our current house came on the market, and there was nothing else we wanted, so we made an offer the first week it was on the market, and probably overpaid out of panic and the fact that it just came on the market. It was more than we were willing to pay, but felt pressured by the tight deadline. Temporary housing wasn't ideal, as my son was 2 and my wife was pregnant, didn't want to move twice. This whole situation sucks balls.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
Post Reply