The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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govmentchedda
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by govmentchedda »

brian wrote:
govmentchedda wrote:Welcome to Florida, y'all.
Worst part of that story is that a Florida jury will probably end up awarding them both $1 million from the inevitable civil suit.
The Seminole tribe is bulletproof around here, so I'd advise those two fuckos to go after someone else. The waste management driver who senselessly picked up trash might be someone to sue.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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govmentchedda wrote:
brian wrote:
govmentchedda wrote:Welcome to Florida, y'all.
Worst part of that story is that a Florida jury will probably end up awarding them both $1 million from the inevitable civil suit.
The Seminole tribe is bulletproof around here, so I'd advise those two fuckos to go after someone else. The waste management driver who senselessly picked up trash might be someone to sue.
Yeah, I was thinking they'll probably go after the garbage company and possibly even the Wawa.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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My son's school just sent out a robocall to let us know that tomorrow's awards ceremony has been rescheduled to Tuesday. The stated reason? Tomorrow's high will only be 58. Mind you, this awards ceremony is an indoor donut breakfast in the media center.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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govmentchedda wrote:My son's school just sent out a robocall to let us know that tomorrow's awards ceremony has been rescheduled to Tuesday. The stated reason? Tomorrow's high will only be 58. Mind you, this awards ceremony is an indoor donut breakfast in the media center.
I hope Giff packed a long sleeved shirt.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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The Sybian wrote:
govmentchedda wrote:My son's school just sent out a robocall to let us know that tomorrow's awards ceremony has been rescheduled to Tuesday. The stated reason? Tomorrow's high will only be 58. Mind you, this awards ceremony is an indoor donut breakfast in the media center.
I hope Giff packed a long sleeved shirt.
I'm nice and warm, thanks!
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Birds don’t suck. They lack the necessary anatomical structures to do so.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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- parents used drugs as a "bargaining tool" to get their kids to do chores and schoolwork

- hockey fan brings gun to game
Cassidy was taken into custody during the game after a witness told police he saw Cassidy drop the gun in the bathroom, then pick it up, and put it back in his pocket.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Shirley »

I think at this point, it's fair to assume that it's always Florida.
Totally Kafkaesque
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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I sincerely urge everyone to watch that clip while trying to remember that it isn't a satire of local news.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by govmentchedda »

Publix ain't no joke. Just ask Slolz.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Names of supermarket chains in regions I'm unfamiliar with always strike me as fake, like they made them up for a movie or TV show.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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An early morning fire on Thursday is being called suspicious by XXXX County Fire Investigation Unit Chief Matt Balut.

...

Investigators said the do have a person of interest in the case. That person was identified because of accusations like this, made to XXXX Reporter Derrick Lewis during a live interview on the scene at 5 a.m. Thursday.

“It was cause of my cousin and I don’t want to mention no names,” Heather Tenney said. “He is mad because he can’t get with me. I am married to my husband.”
linky
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Jerloma »

Totally would have went West Virginia there.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by sancarlos »

Jerloma wrote:Totally would have went West Virginia there.
Reminds me of a bad joke...

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Daughter: "Daddy, I hate to say it, but you taste like %&*# tonight."
Daddy: "Oh, dang it. I plumb forgot. Your brother is using the pickup truck tonight!"
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by wlu_lax6 »

Not Florida or Ohio but
http://crazed.com/wyoming-man-eyeballs-in-cavity/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Pruitt »

wlu_lax6 wrote:Not Florida or Ohio but
http://crazed.com/wyoming-man-eyeballs-in-cavity/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Hate to do it, but throwing the "fake" flag.

http://www.inquisitr.com/2280767/wyomin ... is-a-hoax/
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Shirley »

Obligatory Hit Girl clip...

Totally Kafkaesque
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Teen arrested after using stuffed animal to masturbate with in a Florida Walmart.

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida ... ler-657903
After Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,” he placed the “soiled stuffed horse on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set) contaminating that property also.”

While Johnson fled the store before he could be apprehended by Walmart security, he was subsequently arrested by Brooksville Police Department officers. In a written statement, Johnson admitted that, “I did unmentionables to a stuffed animal.” Noting that he committed a “horrible act,” Johnson added, “I need to think before what I do. I’m extremely sorry.”
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Pruitt »

Wow!

This story could have been put in the Irony thread or the Headlines thread.
National DUI expert charged with DUI in Sarasota
But I'll leave it here. http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20 ... ?p=2&tc=pg
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by wlu_lax6 »

Not likely in Ohio....but was not risking the Irony thread.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mat ... 945ff0c750" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by rass »

Man murders someone, goes to strip club afterward, hitches a ride home from club during which he admits to the murder, and then falls asleep in the car...


The more I think about this one, I think the guy realized he had royally fucked up and just wanted one more taste of sweet naked freedom before going off to jail. Pretty sensible, all told, for a XXXX man.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Gunpowder »

You don't need the XXXX (more like XXX), that HAS to be Florida.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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I can't imagine going to a strip club in Ohio would be relaxing.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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You don't get off that easy. Otherwise, Ohioans could pawn off southeast Ohio to West Virginia.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Shirley »

Hopefully they are girl goats. That is God's country, after all.
Totally Kafkaesque
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by DSafetyGuy »

brian wrote:
You don't get off that easy. Otherwise, Ohioans could pawn off southeast Ohio to West Virginia.
And southwest Ohio as Kentucky.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Shirley »

Totally Kafkaesque
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by sancarlos »

Shirley wrote:No point in disguising this one:

Florida man arrested for throwing alligator through drive-thru window
When did Eli move to Florida? And, are we sure the alligator wasn't intercepted?

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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by govmentchedda »

We're very proud of our adult establishments.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
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