The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 3:48 pm

govmentchedda wrote:Yesterday was 4 year old getting mauled to death by two pit bulls.

And yet nobody calls for banning or euthanizing all cars. Fucking Liberal media.

howard · Post by **howard** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 12:34 am

govmentchedda wrote:I hate to rain on your "Yay Florida!" parade, but today's lead local news story…

no where near enough specificity.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:15 am

Fine, I went back and found it. That took foreeevvver: http://gawker.com/nude-beach-blow-job-j ... 1608253016" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 9:23 am

"Doster's defense fund is said to total $100"

Post by **Shirley** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 9:25 am

Hmm, random blow jobs by strangers on boats in Florida. Dudes offering other dudes blowjobs in Florida.

I feel like I've heard this story before...

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 9:30 am

Hey now, it was a woman that mouth raped me on the boat.

Stop trivializing rape, Dave!

Post by **Shirley** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 9:42 am

I only trivialize YOUR rape, GPJ.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:39 pm

South Carolina, but close enough.Worst mother ever calls police because 15 year old son watched porn.

Just to keep in compliance with this thread, Woman poses for picture store clerk takes of her holding a stolen credit card. This one seems like a gimme.

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 9:30 am

Ohio makes up for a lack of attention in this thread.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:43 am

rass wrote:Ohio makes up for a lack of attention in this thread.

Now, there's a guy who knows how to meet compliant women.

howard · Post by **howard** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 3:10 pm

Kenneth Douglas…said in a deposition he (did the thing that he did), often while drunk or high on drugs, WCPO Cincinnati reports.

Not enough beer in the keg, not enough pharmaceutical heroin in the pharmacy.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 3:39 pm

howard wrote:
Kenneth Douglas…said in a deposition he (did the thing that he did), often while drunk or high on drugs, WCPO Cincinnati reports.
Not enough beer in the keg, not enough pharmaceutical heroin in the pharmacy.

Not enough blue in the balls

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 4:27 pm

The Sybian wrote:
howard wrote:
Kenneth Douglas…said in a deposition he (did the thing that he did), often while drunk or high on drugs, WCPO Cincinnati reports.
Not enough beer in the keg, not enough pharmaceutical heroin in the pharmacy.
Not enough blue in the balls

More like balls in the blue, amirite?

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 8:41 pm

govmentchedda wrote:
The Sybian wrote:
Not enough blue in the balls
More like balls in the blue, amirite?

Good one. Screw the blue is the new sink the pink.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Tue Sep 23, 2014 12:04 pm

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Sep 24, 2014 9:43 am

A prominent university that's also a Research I school just hired this guy as their president...

The next person to pose a question, law professor Mark Seidenfeld, asked Thrasher if he believed in evolution.

“I have a great faith in my life that has guided me in my life in a lot of things I believe in,” Thrasher said.

…

College of Communication professor Andy Opel pressed Thrasher on climate change, asking him if believed it is real. “Do you accept the science behind it,” Opel said.

Like Gov. Rick Scott, whose reelection campaign Thrasher co-chairs, Thrasher declined to give a specific response. At that point, two students in the front row appeared to Thrasher to be laughing at his answer.

He threatened to leave, saying he “would not be heckled.”

Post by **Shirley** » Wed Sep 24, 2014 9:52 am

It looks like his a finalist for the job. They haven't hired him (yet).

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Sep 24, 2014 9:56 am

Shirley wrote:It looks like his a finalist for the job. They haven't hired him (yet).

No, that was last week. They hired him yesterday.

11-2!

Post by **Shirley** » Wed Sep 24, 2014 10:06 am

Jerloma wrote:
Shirley wrote:It looks like his a finalist for the job. They haven't hired him (yet).
No, that was last week. They hired him yesterday.

11-2!

That sucks. BTW, FSU has a history of jackasses as president. I can't remember the details but one of the recent ones had a history of making ridiculous statements related to FSU football and the ACC. Basically, he put FSU football concerns before all else. I guess at FSU, that's the way to get and keep your job.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Wed Sep 24, 2014 10:07 am

This is how they are searching for the next Tebow.

testuser2 · Post by **testuser2** » Wed Sep 24, 2014 11:40 am

Shirley wrote:
Jerloma wrote:
Shirley wrote:It looks like his a finalist for the job. They haven't hired him (yet).
No, that was last week. They hired him yesterday.

11-2!
That sucks. BTW, FSU has a history of jackasses as president. I can't remember the details but one of the recent ones had a history of making ridiculous statements related to FSU football and the ACC. Basically, he put FSU football concerns before all else. I guess at FSU, that's the way to get and keep your job.

Great. PSU's new president held the same position at FSU for the past 4 years. I won't even get my hopes up that it was the president before him.

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Wed Sep 24, 2014 7:42 pm

I had Seidenfeld as a professor. Hated his class. Administrative Law, I believe. Or maybe it was utilities regulation. Either way, I did not enjoy myself.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Wed Nov 05, 2014 6:54 pm

Police charge 90-year-old man, 2 pastors with feeding homeless

howard · Post by **howard** » Wed Nov 05, 2014 7:16 pm

The criminalization of feeding poor people is about the best example of the abject failure of our government/culture/society. Specifically, the quiet acceptance by the people of this new crime.

Post by **Shirley** » Wed Nov 05, 2014 8:53 pm

P.D.X. wrote:Police charge 90-year-old man, 2 pastors with feeding homeless

That's disgusting. How the fuck did we get to this point?

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Nov 05, 2014 10:23 pm

Shirley wrote:
P.D.X. wrote:Police charge 90-year-old man, 2 pastors with feeding homeless
That's disgusting. How the fuck did we get to this point?

Compassionate Conservatives know that the homeless are like pigeons. Feed one, and dozens will swoop in out of nowhere. If they starve to death somewhere else, you don't have to look at them. Since one of the main tenets Jesus taught was feeding the hungry, arresting 2 pastors for feeding the homeless is an actual attack on Christianity. I don't think FoxNews is going make 10 talking heads rant about this for 3 weeks though.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Thu Nov 06, 2014 6:32 am

howard wrote:The criminalization of feeding poor people is about the best example of the abject failure of our government/culture/society. Specifically, the quiet acceptance by the people of this new crime.

And even worse - the charity that feeds the homeless has been sued...by a company that makes Christian religious tzochtkes...

In 2001, Love Thy Neighbor was targeted in a copyright infringement lawsuit by Love Your Neighbor, a Michigan-based marketer of religious accessories.

The Michigan company, owned by businesswoman Catherine Sims, alleged that Mr. Abbott’s charity owed them “”lost sales and profits” for confusing her would-be customers.

“She’s driving me nuts. I don’t have the money to spend on lawyers … whatever little money we make, we need to spend on the homeless,” Mr. Abbott said at the time.

This story - and what it says about society - is just so profoundly depressing.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:08 am

Ok, now I'm depressed. We have officially entered bizarro world.

howard · Post by **howard** » Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:45 am

We entered this district of bizarro years ago. This has been going on for a while in various cities, and was an issue during the Occupy protests.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Nov 06, 2014 4:16 pm

Pruitt wrote: And even worse - the charity that feeds the homeless has been sued...by a company that makes Christian religious tzochtkes...

In 2001, Love Thy Neighbor was targeted in a copyright infringement lawsuit by Love Your Neighbor, a Michigan-based marketer of religious accessories.

The Michigan company, owned by businesswoman Catherine Sims, alleged that Mr. Abbott’s charity owed them “”lost sales and profits” for confusing her would-be customers.

“She’s driving me nuts. I don’t have the money to spend on lawyers … whatever little money we make, we need to spend on the homeless,” Mr. Abbott said at the time.

I'd go with irony on that one.

Post by **Sabo** » Wed Nov 19, 2014 9:22 am

Drunken bicyclist arrested at Taco Bell drive-through after tussle with cops.

The mugshot is all sorts of win.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Wed Nov 19, 2014 11:29 am

Sabo wrote:Drunken bicyclist arrested at Taco Bell drive-through after tussle with cops.

The mugshot is all sorts of win.

That's typically what I look like 10 minutes after eating Taco Bell.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Nov 24, 2014 2:36 pm

Man named Phuc Kieu arrested for sexual assault. I'll leave the details to the link itself.

h/t Deadspin

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Tue Dec 02, 2014 3:10 pm

If you were going to steal a six pound cow tongue from a grocery store, how would you try to sneak it out of the store?

In your pants of course.

http://www.local10.com/news/cops-man-hi ... s/30020522

But when Puckett thought no one was looking, he removed the tongue from his pants and ran from the store, according to police.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Dec 12, 2014 11:10 am

Drunk man who lives on Margarita Lane in Port St. Lucie crashes electric mobility cart in a Publix.

Peak Florida?

Post by **Shirley** » Wed Jan 07, 2015 2:31 pm

A shoplifting suspect, apparently out of options after being confronted by employees, smeared poop in their faces, police said.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:54 am

OK....

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 12:06 pm

rass wrote:OK....

Paragraph 3 is brilliant. Poetic even.

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 4:52 pm

Welcome to Florida, y'all.

Post by **brian** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 4:59 pm

govmentchedda wrote:Welcome to Florida, y'all.

Worst part of that story is that a Florida jury will probably end up awarding them both $1 million from the inevitable civil suit.