The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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rass wrote: Fri May 11, 2018 6:22 am What do you call it when she farts?
What?
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by rass »

HINT (and my current fave "dad" joke):

What do you call a cow with no legs?
[+] spoiler
ground beef
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Sabo »

Here's a terrible dad/cow joke.

What do you call a masturbating cow?
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Beef Stroganoff
Birds don’t suck. They lack the necessary anatomical structures to do so.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by DSafetyGuy »

rass wrote: Fri May 11, 2018 7:46 am HINT (and my current fave "dad" joke):

What do you call a cow with no legs?
[+] spoiler
ground beef
[+] spoiler
Or an udder drag.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Did you hear about the cow that couldn't give milk?
[+] spoiler
It was an udder failure.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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BFJ is the town wizard who runs a magic shop. He also has a golem that he has trained to attack anti-Semites.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by brian »

12-year-old black kid gets the cops called on him for mowing a neighbor's lawn.

Perhaps somewhat surprisingly the cops did NOT kill him.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Of course.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Until everything is less insane, I'm mixing weed with wine.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Honestly? I think a joker with a Batman tatttoo is kind of inspired.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Astounding that she got her degree at that school.
a Jewish-sponsored independent institution of higher and professional education. The College was established primarily to enrich the Jewish heritage, and to serve the larger American community. Approximately 18,000 students are currently enrolled in the various schools and divisions of Touro.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Woman, 28, is charged after 'attacking her elderly parents and threatening to kill her father with a knife' when they refused to take her to Outback Steakhouse

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... house.html
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Giff »

I'd kill for those cheese fries.
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by brian »

Baloney wrote: Tue Jan 08, 2019 9:44 am Woman, 28, is charged after 'attacking her elderly parents and threatening to kill her father with a knife' when they refused to take her to Outback Steakhouse

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... house.html
Millennials are such snowflakes.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Ryan »

NH interlude.

Image

This guy called a suicide hotline because to tell someone he was stabbing himself. But when officers got there he wouldn't let them in, so they broke down the door and he started coming at them with a baseball bat. After taking a taser to the chest, he retreated to the bedroom and then completed the plate appearance when the officer followed him in there.
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by wlu_lax6 »

Okay not fl or Ohio..but outstanding
https://thesiouxfallsheadliner.com/2019 ... OjQgWpyXwM
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Shirley »

wlu_lax6 wrote: Fri Feb 01, 2019 4:10 pm Okay not fl or Ohio..but outstanding
https://thesiouxfallsheadliner.com/2019 ... OjQgWpyXwM
Did he follow each pun with a literal explanation of the pun and why it might be considered funny?
Totally Kafkaesque
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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A 69-year-old man was arrested Wednesday after deputies said he failed in back-to-back attempts to rob businesses.

The third time was the charm, though — and resulted in charges.

http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafe ... tE3ZywdXsA
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Detectives say Christian Nichols dressed up in a black and white Husky dog costume has sex with his pet Siberian Husky.

https://iontb.com/pinellas-county-detec ... O38I1cL75s
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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The SWAT team showed up at a ____ mayor’s door. Then he started shooting, police say.
The mayor (...) was arrested on Thursday after shooting at a SWAT team that had come to arrest him on charges of illegally practicing medicine, officials say.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Until everything is less insane, I'm mixing weed with wine.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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This state man, I don't know.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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After issuing Webb a notice to appear ticket, the deputy asked him to alter the sticker so that it would “no longer be derogatory.” Webb declined the request, citing First Amendment speech protections.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by wlu_lax6 »

Pruitt wrote: Thu May 09, 2019 5:28 am
After issuing Webb a notice to appear ticket, the deputy asked him to alter the sticker so that it would “no longer be derogatory.” Webb declined the request, citing First Amendment speech protections.
ACLU takes this case right?
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by testuser2 »

wlu_lax6 wrote: Thu May 09, 2019 7:35 am
Pruitt wrote: Thu May 09, 2019 5:28 am
After issuing Webb a notice to appear ticket, the deputy asked him to alter the sticker so that it would “no longer be derogatory.” Webb declined the request, citing First Amendment speech protections.
ACLU takes this case right?
Charges dropped.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Pruitt »

testuser2 wrote: Fri May 10, 2019 8:40 am
wlu_lax6 wrote: Thu May 09, 2019 7:35 am
Pruitt wrote: Thu May 09, 2019 5:28 am
After issuing Webb a notice to appear ticket, the deputy asked him to alter the sticker so that it would “no longer be derogatory.” Webb declined the request, citing First Amendment speech protections.
ACLU takes this case right?
Charges dropped.
A prosecutor noted that an evaluation of the evidence “through the prism of Supreme Court precedent” determined that Webb “has a valid defense to be raised under the First Amendment of our United States Constitution. Given such, a jury would not convict under these facts.”
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Is that a pistol or are you just pleased to see me

https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/regi ... police-say
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by sancarlos »

"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by Pruitt »

Driver plows into crowd at Harley-Davidson concert and runs over singer, cops say

Headlines are great and all... but this is an article worth reading all the way through.
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The condition of his foot is unknown.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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[url=https://www.local10.com/news/local/miam ... }Defendant in ______ courtroom throws feces at judge during trial, misses[/url]
'It's protein! It's good for you,' defendant tells judge
Dude was acquitted too.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

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Re: The OFFICIAL Florida -or- Ohio Thread

Post by rass »

At least he had a towel.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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