The Swamp

A homless woman defecated in a xxxxxxxxxx front yard and then broke into the home's backyard where she took a dip in the pool, police said.
Cheryl Beauchamp, 35, was booked on suspicion of burglary and criminal mischief. A xxxxxxxxxx police report said: "Cheryl advised me that she was passing through xxxxxxxxxx on her way to Washington DC, to yell at President Obama"

Jerloma wrote:Yeah but would you ever have to pass through Florida to get to DC? Was she coming from the Bahamas?

ZMan wrote:Courtesy of the NY Post's weird but true section...

A homless woman defecated in a xxxxxxxxxx front yard and then broke into the home's backyard where she took a dip in the pool, police said.
Cheryl Beauchamp, 35, was booked on suspicion of burglary and criminal mischief. A xxxxxxxxxx police report said: "Cheryl advised me that she was passing through xxxxxxxxxx on her way to Washington DC, to yell at President Obama"

Jerloma wrote:Yeah but would you ever have to pass through Florida to get to DC? Was she coming from the Bahamas?

In what might be the most American way to accidentally shoot oneself, a [redacted] man shot himself while bowling last night, after his bowling ball came into contact with the loaded gun in his pocket.

"The guy just stepped up to bowl," fellow-bowler Jim Miller told [redacted]. "I think he hit his leg on his back swing."

The man shot himself around 7:30 last night while bowling at [redacted] Lanes. Another bowler reported that "The ball hit him in the leg, which triggered the revolver."

Witnesses originally thought the gunshot was a firecracker, but after watching the bowler limp back to his seat, holding his leg, they knew it was a gun.

He was taken to a hospital shortly after, but the man's injuries are not considered to be life-threatening.

brian wrote:XXXXX curses more than any other state (and is ranked in the top 5 least courteous.)

Sabo wrote:A XXXXX man was arrested for punching a police horse's butt.

"There is no serious thinking, no serious planning, about any of this going on at the state level," says Chuck Watson, a disaster-­impact analyst with longtime experience in Florida. "The view is, 'Well, if it gets real bad, the federal government will bail us out.' It is beyond denial; it is flat-out delusional."

Local governments, including Broward and Miami-Dade counties, have tried to compensate by forging regional agreements to cut carbon pollution and upgrade infrastructure to make their cities more resilient, but without help (and money) from the state and federal governments, it's pretty ineffective. Given how much Florida has to lose from climate change, the abdication of leadership by state and federal politicians is almost suicidal – when it isn't downright comical. Watson recalls attending a meeting on natural-hazard-response planning in South Florida, funded by the Federal Emergency Management Agency and the state: "I mentioned sea-level rise, and I was treated to a 15-minute lecture on Genesis by one of the commissioners. He said, 'God destroyed the Earth with water the first time, and he promised he wouldn't do it again. So all of you who are pushing fears about sea-level rise, go back and read the Bible.'"

A XXXX man was arrested for strangling his mother's puppy, cutting it up and then cooking it, police said Friday.

...

On Thursday morning, he strangled the 5 to 6-month-old puppy, killing him, police said. Huggins then cut up the dog into quarters and put it in the freezer for future meals, XXXX Police said.

Later that night, a family member called police, and when authorities arrived they found the dog's ribs being cooked on the stove, and its head in the garbage, police said.

rass wrote:Serial raft fucker arrested again for "sexual relations with a rubber pool float".

DSafetyGuy wrote:

rass wrote:Serial raft fucker arrested again for "sexual relations with a rubber pool float".

The link is from the paper in the town where I spent a large portion of my formative years. Fortunately, the serial raft fucker in question is not.

Sabo wrote:Family finds marijuana pipe inside a Burger King kid's meal.

Sabo wrote:Family finds marijuana pipe inside a Burger King kid's meal.

Icepenis wrote:Ours have outdoor tables, so I guess that's Florida.

rass wrote:

Icepenis wrote:Ours have outdoor tables, so I guess that's Florida.

Fucking Sherlock Homes.

rass wrote:

Icepenis wrote:Ours have outdoor tables, so I guess that's Florida.

Fucking Sherlock Homes.

Sabo wrote:

rass wrote:

Icepenis wrote:Ours have outdoor tables, so I guess that's Florida.

Fucking Sherlock Homes.

Well, that and there aren't any Checkers restaurants in Ohio (at least I've never seen any).