Godless III - Completing The Trinity

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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sancarlos
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Re: Godless III - Completing The Trinity

Post by sancarlos » Thu Aug 27, 2020 3:33 pm

A friend of mine shared a post on FB by somebody else. I thought it was funny.
somebody named Paul Orkline on Facebook wrote:In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations.
A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24.
The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9.
The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan.
James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia
(It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian)
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian

I never shoulda punched that horse. - AB

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Re: Godless III - Completing The Trinity

Post by Johnnie » Sat Sep 05, 2020 7:45 am



Excellent tweet.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

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brian
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Re: Godless III - Completing The Trinity

Post by brian » Tue Sep 29, 2020 10:39 am

This literally never fails to make me laugh.


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brian
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Re: Godless III - Completing The Trinity

Post by brian » Tue Sep 29, 2020 10:39 am

(I've probably posted it like three times. I don't care. It's awesome.)

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Re: Godless III - Completing The Trinity

Post by duff » Tue Sep 29, 2020 12:22 pm

brian wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 10:39 am
(I've probably posted it like three times. I don't care. It's awesome.)
That is fucking great. Some of them need to learn how to take a bump. Gonna hurt themselves sooner than later.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."

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sancarlos
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Re: Godless III - Completing The Trinity

Post by sancarlos » Tue Sep 29, 2020 5:01 pm

No doubt Benny Hinn is a stud in the mosh pit.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian

I never shoulda punched that horse. - AB

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degenerasian
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Re: Godless III - Completing The Trinity

Post by degenerasian » Mon Jan 11, 2021 12:52 pm

Standoff! Police can't do much except give out fines.



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