The Swamp

somebody named Paul Orkline on Facebook wrote:In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations.
A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24.
The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9.
The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan.
James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia
(It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian)

brian wrote: ↑Tue Sep 29, 2020 10:39 am (I've probably posted it like three times. I don't care. It's awesome.)

… Yeah, we just want to, like, comfort them and let them know that, like, Satan hasn’t won today. Like, even though this evil thing has happened, like, Satan hasn’t won… Jesus has won. And God has won. I think this is even proof of it, like, how beautiful these mountains are right now…

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Tue Mar 23, 2021 12:05 pm Fuck those two so hard. If it was anything other than jesus they were pushing it would rightfully be called out as capitalizing on tragedy.

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Tue Mar 23, 2021 1:23 pm I was formulating a letter in mind last night to the station about how insensitive it was to keep running that clip without knowing the faiths of the people (or their families) who were actually shot, and that they would never keep showing it if they were praising Allah or Ganesh or FSM or whatever.

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Tue Mar 23, 2021 1:23 pm I was formulating a letter in mind last night to the station about how insensitive it was to keep running that clip without knowing the faiths of the people (or their families) who were actually shot, and that they would never keep showing it if they were praising Allah or Ganesh or FSM or whatever.

Jerloma wrote: ↑Wed Mar 31, 2021 10:52 am

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Tue Mar 23, 2021 1:23 pm I was formulating a letter in mind last night to the station about how insensitive it was to keep running that clip without knowing the faiths of the people (or their families) who were actually shot, and that they would never keep showing it if they were praising Allah or Ganesh or FSM or whatever.

I don't know. I would think saying that "Jesus won today" in regards to 10 innocent people being massacred doesn't look very good for Christianity either.

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Wed Mar 31, 2021 11:02 am

Jerloma wrote: ↑Wed Mar 31, 2021 10:52 am

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Tue Mar 23, 2021 1:23 pm I was formulating a letter in mind last night to the station about how insensitive it was to keep running that clip without knowing the faiths of the people (or their families) who were actually shot, and that they would never keep showing it if they were praising Allah or Ganesh or FSM or whatever.

I don't know. I would think saying that "Jesus won today" in regards to 10 innocent people being massacred doesn't look very good for Christianity either.

Also they lamented that the 10 people would never have the chance to know Jesus's love and I was like "Wouldn't they be meeting him right now per your own belief system?"

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Wed Mar 31, 2021 11:02 am

Jerloma wrote: ↑Wed Mar 31, 2021 10:52 am

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Tue Mar 23, 2021 1:23 pm I was formulating a letter in mind last night to the station about how insensitive it was to keep running that clip without knowing the faiths of the people (or their families) who were actually shot, and that they would never keep showing it if they were praising Allah or Ganesh or FSM or whatever.

I don't know. I would think saying that "Jesus won today" in regards to 10 innocent people being massacred doesn't look very good for Christianity either.

Also they lamented that the 10 people would never have the chance to know Jesus's love and I was like "Wouldn't they be meeting him right now per your own belief system?"

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 2:47 pm Satanic Panic! at Seton hall.

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 3:19 pm Sounds like someone you want to keep on your side.

rass wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 3:28 pm Also, I've been trying unsuccessfully to write up a longer post for this thread, on the subject of my oldest daughter deciding last week that she does not want to go through with her confirmation this coming Thursday because she doesn't believe in god and doesn't like the Catholic church. My wife is pretty devastated.

Jerloma wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 4:00 pm Just out of curiosity, why is she devastated? Does she think she's going to be a less moral person for it or does she think she's going to suffer consequences posthumously?

rass wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 4:16 pm
She has been a CCD aide for the kid's class since third grade, so my wife will be attending the ceremony alone on Thursday.

The Sybian wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 4:27 pm

rass wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 4:16 pm
She has been a CCD aide for the kid's class since third grade, so my wife will be attending the ceremony alone on Thursday.

This last sentence got me, that's rough. In one way, I'd feel the need to tell my kid to suck it up for one night to make their mother happy, but in another way, going through with a confirmation when you don't believe is kind of the ultimate lie on the floor of the Church. It's not like pretending to like a movie and sitting through it for 2 hours.

The Sybian wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 4:27 pm

rass wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 4:16 pm
She has been a CCD aide for the kid's class since third grade, so my wife will be attending the ceremony alone on Thursday.

This last sentence got me, that's rough. In one way, I'd feel the need to tell my kid to suck it up for one night to make their mother happy, but in another way, going through with a confirmation when you don't believe is kind of the ultimate lie on the floor of the Church. It's not like pretending to like a movie and sitting through it for 2 hours.

I've been torn listening to my kids bicker over whether God exists. I feel I let them down by not providing them a basis for understanding religion. My son went down some online rabbit holes researching religions, which is a scary thought, but he came away with some really well-reasoned thoughts on why he doesn't believe in God. I had to undo years of "education" to come to the same conclusions. My daughter says she believes in God, but doesn't understand anything about organized religion. I stopped my son from arguing that God isn't real, because I think she needs to make her own conclusions when she is old enough to understand. Believing in God is great if it gives someone comfort and they don't throw all their money to a huckster preacher or start a war over it.