The Random Rankings Thread

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Apr 11, 2016 1:08 pm

Stick that post in a time machine set for three years ago (minus a week or so) and add message board moderator to the top.

Post by **Sabo** » Mon Apr 11, 2016 1:13 pm

rass wrote:Stick that post in a time machine set for three years ago (minus a week or so) and add message board moderator to the top.

Thank you for clarifying the date range!

And I will second sancarlos' recommendation to add TSA agents. In fact, I'd put them second instead of a customs agent.

I'd also add "community garden coordinator" to this list, especially after our community garden "meeting" last week. Long story short, the coordinator insisted on having everyone come in for a meeting, and all she did was read the garden's rules verbatim from the printed sheet everyone got when they walked in. I enjoyed having 30 minutes of my life wasted.

wlu_lax6 · Post by **wlu_lax6** » Mon Apr 11, 2016 2:40 pm

Oh I would add to that list
Parent in the press box with a microphone for high school sports.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Apr 11, 2016 4:36 pm

A great list.

Lacking is the idiots at the cable or gas company who put you on hold after you've waited a while to get through.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Apr 13, 2016 11:40 am

Johnny Carwash wrote:People tripping on minor levels of power, ranked:

2. customs agent

Customs Inspectors are the only defense to drugs and weapons entering our borders (at legal ports of entry)! They are on the front lines on the War on Terror. And against unpasteurized cheese.

My list would have to include privately owned immigration detention facility guards.
And #1, Federal government employee union shop stewards and chapter presidents.

BJs receipt checkers barely attempt to disguise their disinterest as they pretend to check the contents of my cart.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Apr 13, 2016 11:49 am

The big box receipt checkers are there basically to make sure anything over $100 is on your receipt, from what I have been told. By the lady at Sam's.

Who is a very nice lady.

It's DMV clerks for me near the top of the list.

howard · Post by **howard** » Wed Apr 13, 2016 12:17 pm

DMV clerks hold major levels of power, not minor.

elflaco · Post by **elflaco** » Wed Apr 13, 2016 2:53 pm

in terms of where #10 goes on the list.. speaking from 8 seasons of walking the sidelines of youth soccer in central nj... i'd make a distinction of sports. and put the sports parents well ahead (especially the ones who think their kid is a star player and thus they have power)

don't like it? get off my pitch.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Apr 15, 2016 1:15 pm

Ranking of every Disney song

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Fri Apr 15, 2016 1:29 pm

Haven't looked yet, but I hope the Lilo & Stitch jams got the credit they deserve.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Fri Apr 15, 2016 1:35 pm

I haven't watched a Disney movie in some time, but back when I had to watch them with my daughter, I really hated the trend toward making every song seem like it was prepared precisely for use in a future broadway play.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Apr 15, 2016 1:44 pm

Half way through. Pink Elephants on Parade isn't high enough.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Apr 15, 2016 2:04 pm

I didn't know this:

But what really brings “Beauty and the Beast” to life is the vocal performance of Angela Lansbury as Mrs. Potts. Lansbury was initially reluctant to sing the song, thinking her voice not strong enough to record what seemed initially to be a rock ballad. But Menken and the film’s directors asked her for just one take, in case it didn’t work out with someone else. One take, recorded live with an orchestra. One take, which reduced many of those in the room to tears. And obviously, one take that ended up in the damn movie. Give it another listen, and then off to the cupboard with you now, Chip. It’s past your bedtime.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Fri Apr 15, 2016 2:20 pm

rass wrote:Ranking of every Disney song

Hello childhood. Damn.

DaveInSeattle · Post by **DaveInSeattle** » Fri Apr 15, 2016 2:51 pm

rass wrote:Ranking of every Disney song

Louis Prima doing "I Wan'na Be Like You" from The Jungle Book got robbed...

And "Cruella D'Ville" has always been a personal favorite, but it's gotta be the Replacements cover version:

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Fri Apr 15, 2016 3:20 pm

rass wrote:Ranking of every Disney song

BTW, if you're short attention span like me, use the drop down and go to the last page and work your way back. There are a shit load of songs in the 150-plus that are from movies I never saw or don't remember. Or that were just filler and they had to put them in because they had some kind of lyric or whatever.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Apr 27, 2016 7:57 am

Swamp Smart-ass Power Rankings:

1. Ryan
2. mister d
3. Gunpowder
4. AB*
5. Giff
6. Rex
7. me
8. bengal
9. chedda
10. PDX

Notes:

-Do not feel offended by either your inclusion or exclusion from this list. It can be a compliment both ways.

-Smart-ass ranking is based on a complex algorithm that factors in 1) the proportion of your posts that consist of brief sentences adding nothing of substance to the topic, and 2) whether I find them funny.

-I put an asterisk by AB as I'm still not sure whether he's a proper smart-ass or just a surly contrarian.

-I'm not really sure about the last few people on the list, and might be confusing them with others.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Apr 27, 2016 7:59 am

The * is for the sarcasm PED's I use.

Post by **Sabo** » Wed Apr 27, 2016 8:16 am

Johnny Carwash wrote:-Smart-ass ranking is based on a complex algorithm that factors in 1) the proportion of your posts that consist of brief sentences adding nothing of substance to the topic, and 2) whether I find them funny.

I am the king of number one. I guess I suck at number two.

Johnny Carwash wrote:-I put an asterisk by AB as I'm still not sure whether he's a proper smart-ass or just a surly contrarian.

I assure you, it's the former.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Apr 27, 2016 8:39 am

Johnny Carwash wrote:Swamp Smart-ass Power Rankings:

1. Ryan

This is freakishly similar to my ranking of NH based Swampers.

howard · Post by **howard** » Wed Apr 27, 2016 5:14 pm

Gotta up my game

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Wed Apr 27, 2016 5:54 pm

Just happy to be nominated.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 12:12 pm

My Top 10 Zeppelin Songs:

1. OTHAFA
2. RS
3. TUF
4. BIOH
5. TRB
6. RO
7. NFBM
8. BYAS
9. HOTH
10. FITR

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 12:25 pm

No K?

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 12:38 pm

Or T?

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 12:42 pm

C'mon guys, this is Jerloma's shitty ranking, not yours.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 1:05 pm

Jerloma wrote:9. HOTH

The Tauntaun Song?

Moreta · Post by **Moreta** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 1:06 pm

Ryan wrote:
Jerloma wrote:9. HOTH
The Tauntaun Song?

It's hot once you really get into it.

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 1:13 pm

Ryan wrote:
Jerloma wrote:9. HOTH
The Tauntaun Song?

I thought that was Sisqo?

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 1:24 pm

Moreta wrote:
Ryan wrote:
Jerloma wrote:9. HOTH
The Tauntaun Song?
It's hot once you really get into it.

WHOO HOO!

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 2:13 pm

Come on!
HMMT is at least top 5.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 2:24 pm

Ryan wrote:
Jerloma wrote:9. HOTH
The Tauntaun Song?

That's fucking awesome. Although I don't get Moreta's follow-up. Don't you ride on top of them?

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 2:26 pm

Jerloma wrote:
Ryan wrote:
Jerloma wrote:9. HOTH
The Tauntaun Song?
That's fucking awesome. Although I don't get Moreta's follow-up. Don't you ride on top of them?

You do when you're not about to die and your friend has to cut one and stuff you inside to keep you warm.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 2:26 pm

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 2:29 pm

Moreta wrote:
Ryan wrote:
Jerloma wrote:9. HOTH
The Tauntaun Song?
It's hot once you really get into it.

I don't give a shit if this is Gunpowder's thing or not, this needs to be recognized.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 2:43 pm

Ah! Dammit. Do I lose my nerd card for this?

Post by **Shirley** » Thu Apr 28, 2016 2:55 pm

Jerloma wrote:Ah! Dammit. Do I lose my nerd card for this?

I'm just pissed at you for trying to make me work so hard to interpret your ranking. (Note - I didn't actually try)

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Wed May 04, 2016 3:12 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:Swamp Smart-ass Power Rankings:

1. Ryan
2. mister d
3. Gunpowder
4. AB*
5. Giff
6. Rex
7. me
8. bengal
9. chedda
10. PDX

Notes:

-Do not feel offended by either your inclusion or exclusion from this list. It can be a compliment both ways.

-Smart-ass ranking is based on a complex algorithm that factors in 1) the proportion of your posts that consist of brief sentences adding nothing of substance to the topic, and 2) whether I find them funny.

-I put an asterisk by AB as I'm still not sure whether he's a proper smart-ass or just a surly contrarian.

-I'm not really sure about the last few people on the list, and might be confusing them with others.

I'm honored.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Thu Aug 04, 2016 1:06 pm

Hey, I forgot about this!

Caddyshack characters, ranked:

1. Judge Smails
2. Carl Spackler
3. Al Czervik
4. Lacey Underall
5. Ty Webb
6. The Bishop
7. McFiddish, the Scottish groundskeeper
8. Mrs. Smails
9. Danny Noonan
10. the gopher
11. the guy who double-takes and bugs his eyes before his dinghy gets plowed by Al's yacht
12. Spaulding Smails
13. the girl who yells "You shave your ass!" and jumps in the pool
14. Mr. Wang, Al's associate
15. Lou, the caddy manager
16. Tony, the cocky asshole caddy
...
17. being brutally violated by the gopher
...
18. Maggie, Danny's Irish girlfriend
19. everybody in Caddyshack II

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Thu Aug 04, 2016 1:11 pm

WELL TANKS FER NUTTEN