Swamp RimWorld Challenge 2017 - The Final Countdown

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Jan 13, 2017 1:20 pm

Shirley wrote:What's Bronto cooking up in the chem lab?

Just medicine, but there is also the option to make "other" things there if desired.

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Fri Jan 13, 2017 1:23 pm

Bronto's in the chem lab
mixin' up the medicine
I'm on the pavement
Thinkin' 'bout the government

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Jan 13, 2017 1:23 pm

Shirley wrote:Damn, we have a pretty big base this time. What's Bronto cooking up in the chem lab?

Righteous vitriol.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Jan 17, 2017 8:06 am

A new refugee--it's SpongeLinkeNinja!

Hey bengal, remember before when I called you the most useless colonist we'd had so far? All is forgiven.

SpongeLikeNinja is a former video game addict who managed to break his habit by turning to drugs instead. He is nervous, lazy, has no social skills, and is incapable of shooting, construction, plant growing, or construction work. Really, we should just use this fucking guy as a human shield. (Oh, and hi SpongeLikeNinja if you're lurking.)

Nonetheless our smypathetic nature gets the best of us and we let him in, with his pursuers on his tail. They set about randomly wrecking shit inside our base and destroy a couple of our wind turbines before we bring them down. We capture two of their wounded, Gull and Beaver, and attempt to recruit them to our side. Gull joins shortly thereafter while Beaver proves harder to convince and remains in our jail.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Tue Jan 17, 2017 8:09 am

So gull, a creature of the wind, helps destroy the wind turbines and beaver, the original hydroelectric/drainage control engineers also wreak havoc.

Renewables, man.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Jan 17, 2017 12:47 pm

Something must be in the water, because within a few days the tribespeople attack again...

...and again. This time their leader, Bat, is along for the attack, but is mowed down along with most of his comrades.

We decisively defeat each wave, but the stress of constant combat and lack of time for everyday comforts, along with the huge number of dead raiders strewn about the place, are taking a mental toll on the colonists, increasing the risk of breakdowns. SpongeLikeNinja goes on an alcohol binge.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Jan 17, 2017 12:48 pm

Oh shit. It turns out that during the last attack, one of the attackers had knocked a hole in our wall that we didn't notice. A bear gets into the enclosure and attacks cerrano while he is chopping wood! We rush to cerrano's aid but it's too late--the bear tears off his right arm and follows up with a fatal attack to his torso.

The compounding tension gets to Gull, who we had recruited from the hostile faction earlier, and she attacks Rex and chedda while planting corn. They pistol-whip her to incapacitate her and then take her to the infirmary to recover.

So as you can see here, things aren't pretty right now. The rash of injuries from the recent battles and internal fights have caused our hospital to spill over into the sleeping area. The whole vicinity is covered with blood, vomit, and general depravity, like the old Philadelphia Veterans Stadium.

Shirley continues to work diligently on research that will enable us to build a ship to take us off this rock. Hopefully that will happen before we die at the hands of raiders or robots or wild animals. Or each other...

wlu_lax6 · Post by **wlu_lax6** » Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:00 pm

BFJ's art can't fund this?

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:05 pm

Aw, Brian and DC are bunkmates! Do you think they have a Tigers pennant hanging on the wall? Did they name the hallway outside their room Trumbull Avenue?

rass · Post by **rass** » Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:08 pm

You had one job, Blimp...

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Tue Jan 17, 2017 11:21 pm

bapo! wrote:Aw, Brian and DC are bunkmates! Do you think they have a Tigers pennant hanging on the wall? Did they name the hallway outside their room Trumbull Avenue?

Trammel and Whitaker, man. With Blimp's (obvious Kirk Gibson analog) help we'll lead the team to victory in space!

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Jan 18, 2017 3:39 pm

Mini-update for today. Not too many dramatic events, but we are at an important decision point:

- We got hit by a volcanic winter, which will reduce heat and sunlight levels for an indefinite time period, potentially several months. Fortunately, we have a good-sized food stockpile and our indoor farms. As long as it doesn't last too long...

- SpongeLikeNinja got an infection from a recent battle wound and then had a mental breakdown, and we had to throw him in jail so we could give him the proper medical attention.

- Blimp was attacked by a timber wolf and killed it by tearing off its legs and tail. Sound familiar?

- travzilla was attacked by squirrels but came out OK.

The most recent bfj creations:
- Rex "elbow deep" in brian while performing surgery on him
- an abstracted depiction of bloodshed
- brian hunting an elk
- bfj slapping Beaver, our captive, with "obvious pleasure"
- an empty parka with dadaist elements
- larks playing blackjack
- chedda on fire, trying to extinguish himself

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Jan 18, 2017 3:40 pm

The big news is that Shirley completed all the necessary research for us to build our ship. Building a ship costs a ton of resources, though, especially the cryogenic pods to carry individual people. So, here's where some decisions come into play:

- The pods take 500 units of steel each to build.

- We currently have 13 colonists, including the non-Swampers.

- If we wanted to send just a select few people off, we could do so relatively soon.

- If we want to evacuate everyone, it will take a while to extract all the necessary resources, possibly exhausting everything in the near vicinity and requiring us to build even more advanced facilities to dig underground. All through this time, we'll be subjected to increasingly dangerous raids and other threats that could wipe us all out.

So, I'll put the decision up to you. See the poll above.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Jan 18, 2017 3:46 pm

Any chance of nudging selected pairs of colonists into fights to the death to determine who gets a seat on the ship?

Also, "slapping beaver". Ha!

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Wed Jan 18, 2017 3:51 pm

WHAT HAPPENS TO BLIMP

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Wed Jan 18, 2017 4:27 pm

Me, Trammel (Brian), and Blimp are stealing the ship tonight. We'll write when we find space work.

wlu_lax6 · Post by **wlu_lax6** » Wed Jan 18, 2017 5:30 pm

DC47 wrote:Me, Trammel (Brian), and Blimp are stealing the ship tonight. We'll write when we find space work.

Post by **Shirley** » Wed Jan 18, 2017 6:36 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:
The big news is that Shirley completed all the necessary research for us to build our ship.

You're all welcome. Well, except for TT. He broke my jaw. Oh, and I designed the pods to fit a max of 6'2".

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Jan 18, 2017 9:39 pm

Well spongelike ninja is screwed too. Or did he die?

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Wed Jan 18, 2017 9:43 pm

DC47 wrote:
bapo! wrote:Aw, Brian and DC are bunkmates! Do you think they have a Tigers pennant hanging on the wall? Did they name the hallway outside their room Trumbull Avenue?
Trammel and Whitaker, man. With Blimp's (obvious Kirk Gibson analog) help we'll lead the team to victory in space!

Sweet Lou, man.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Thu Jan 19, 2017 12:04 pm

So it looks like the "All Swampers, screw the rest!" option has won out by a large margin. Are we sure about leaving the NPCs behind?

The game has not yet decided to stop being a dick, and the volcanic winter continues, now pressing into the late spring.

We're hard at work building the initial structures of our ship, but have hit a snag as we will need a significant amount of uranium for certain components such as the reactor core and engine. We ask a neighboring colony to send a trade caravan in the hopes that they have some uranium, but instead they show up with just mundane items such as dog food and amphetamines.

Another of these alien ships lands nearby and begins emanating a psychic pulse that will slowly drive the colonists insane unless we destroy it. We send our best guns to the site, knowing from experience that we're in for a tough fight.

Three mechanoids emerge and a fierce firefight ensues. They decide to single out TT in particular. He shows great heroism under fire but is eventually brought down by 13 gunshot wounds across his body. We eventually destroy the mechanoids but are down one colonist. Hey, at least that's one less escape pod to build.

brian and Gull, one of the raiders we captured and recruited before, are now a couple. Did we take the "screw the others" poll option too literally?

The hunt for uranium continues. If we can't get some from a trader, the only option left is to build a complex system for drilling into the earth, which will take a large amount of time and resources.

Here are bfj's latest hits:
- SpongeLikeNinja stumbling around "with a completely broken expression on his face"
- a decayed miller wearing a top hat
- an abstracted depiction of desire
- Rex conducting a trade alongside a chinchilla symbolizing anguish
- an ape dressed as a fisherman
- a portrait of bfj himself making another sculpture called "Vomit no. 8"
- smugglers and accountants eating radishes together
- TT getting killed by the mechanical centipede

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Thu Jan 19, 2017 12:51 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote: - an abstracted depiction of desire

Is this a French film all of a sudden?

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Jan 24, 2017 1:39 pm

Hey guys, sorry about the lack of recent updates. Just wanted to let you know I haven't abandoned this. Have some family and travel things going on right now. Will try to get back with more updates, hopefully within the next few days.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Tue Jan 24, 2017 3:24 pm

*bfj makes sculpture of family and travel things*

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Tue Jan 24, 2017 5:32 pm

Brontoburglar wrote:*bfj makes sculpture of family and travel things*

Covered in vomit.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Tue Jan 24, 2017 6:53 pm

bfj wrote:
Brontoburglar wrote:*bfj makes sculpture of family and travel things*
Covered in vomit.

Vomit No. 9!

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Mar 03, 2017 7:03 am

bapo! wrote:
Johnny Carwash wrote:There are monkeys around. Lots of them.
Anybody here watched the Werner Herzog film 'Aguirre: The Wrath of God'? I imagine the final scene of Swampville IV is going to look like this, with degen playing the role of Klaus Kinski.

bump

I miss Swamp RimWorld*.

(*I originally typed RumWorld, which might better describe some Flor de Caña fueled periods of mid/late 00's Swamp)

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Mar 03, 2017 9:49 am

Sorry about letting this linger for a while, but I do plan on getting back to it, hopefully soon. Was planning to do so last weekend, but got wiped out by the flu. You guys will be learning about your heroic escape into space and/or horrific deaths, one way or another.

TT2.0 · Post by **TT2.0** » Fri Mar 03, 2017 12:38 pm

i came late, but my run was everything i ever hoped for, guns, space pot, and breaking that assholes jaw while being sculpted in my own puke.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:47 am

Alright, we're back in business. Sorry again for the long time between updates. Had a few different factors interrupting my life and taking me out of the frame of mind to get back to this for a time, but wanted to make sure the game wasn't left without a proper end.

Here's a quick recap of the current colony, since it's been a while:

SWAMPVILLE V

THE DEPARTED

DSafe: Pretty-boy with a mohawk. Accidentally shot by Rush while fighting a wolf.

Rush: Doctor with a predilection for sampling his own supply. Questionable marksmanship. Blown apart by a rocket launcher.

sancarlos: Briefly returned from the dead to come out of the closet before being mauled to death by a timberwolf.

steve: Gay Steve Perry look-alike. Disemboweled by a laser blast while running a diversion.

cerrano: Mute space teamster and enforcer. Dismembered by a bear.

TT: Recovering pothead. Breaker of hearts and jaws. Riddled with machine-gun fire by a giant robotic centipede.

THE SURVIVORS

bfj: Eccentric artistic genius. Chief moneymaker. Vomit fetish.

Shirley: Head researcher. Frequent recipient of sucker punches following ill-advised insults.

chedda: Head chef. Has a way with bears (not that kind).

brian: Bionic soldier. Space libertarian. Seducer of raiders.

brontoburglar: Chief medic. Widely unpopular for vague reasons.

DC47: Soldier turned space janitor and then back again. Remorseless sister-killer.

Rex: Chief trade negotiator. Psychically unstable.

travzilla: Borderline useless milquetoast. Squirrel attack survivor.

SpongeLikeNinja: Current Fucking New Guy and work-averse druggie.

Non-Swampers along for the ride:
Zlata: Rush's bereaved mother.
Violet: DSafe's bereaved sister.
Gull: Captured and recruited raider. In a relationship with brian.

Blimp: Battle-scarred attack bear. Bonded to chedda.
Satsuki: Tamed timber wolf. Bonded to Violet.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:48 am

So here's a recap of where things stand: Following four star-crossed predecessors, Swampville V may actually have a glimmer of hope. So far we've survived for 189 days (just over 3 years in RimWorld-time), which I believe is a new record. We've managed to set up a large base with sustainable supplies of food and energy, and our fighting capabilities have been enough to hold off any raider attacks so far. We should be relatively secure barring an acute confluence of calamities, but then again, that's the point of the game.

We're not planning on staying here forever, though. Thanks to advanced research, we now have the capability to build a spaceship to get us off this rock. Constructing the various components are extremely resource-intensive, but so far we've accumulated what we need to build the basic ship superstructure, AI core, reactor, and engine.

The one resource in which we are sorely lacking, however, is uranium, necessary to build the cryptosleep caskets that will carry the passengers. Seeing as uranium isn't available in every corner drug store, and there are no known Libyan nationalists in the vicinity, we'll need to look for other avenues. The known options for acquiring uranium in the game are:

1. Buy it from a trade caravan, though from my experience the likelihood of one carrying uranium, let alone the large amount we need, is slim.
2. Mine into surface rock formations, though from what I can see there are no visible rains of uranium visible. We can keep chipping away and hope.
3. Build a scanner to detect underground resource deposits, then extract them with large drilling devices. This is very time- and resource-intensive and requires a good amount of luck, but may be our only viable option.

So, there's our plan: Ruthlessly drain the planet of its remaining resources, leaving it an uninhabitable shell before fucking off to space. You know, like Peter Thiel. It'll be a race against time, as raiders, alien robots, and natural disasters don't plan to sit idly by as we work toward our final preparations.

I plan to pick up the gameplay tonight and post the next update tomorrow.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Mar 08, 2017 8:00 am

Here we go, the final push to get our ship constructed and launch our stranded colonists back into space. We use the ground scanner to detect potential resource deposits and stake out the identified sites, but the early efforts yield no uranium, just useless stuff like jade and gold.

The nearby tribespeople haven't forgotten about us, and launch another attack with a metric shitload of raiders. Note: I took this screenshot because there were two raiders named Human and Dinosaur, but when standing close it made it look like one person named Humanosaur.

Humanosaur and the others stream into our base, but we're waiting in a strong defensive position. They're armed only with primitive weapons, but their sheer numbers still make them a threat. We unleash a hail of gunfire that mows down a number of them, but they stand their ground and exchange with us. A raider named Camel throws a spear that hits Shirley in the torso and kills him instantly! Camel is quickly riddled with bullets by brian and DC. We kill 17 of the raiders before they turn and flee. RIP Shirley, we wouldn't have made it this far without your diligent research. On the bright side, that's one less sleeping pod to build. Shirley is buried next to TT, just out of punching range.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Mar 08, 2017 8:05 am

Shortly after the battle, our efforts finally pay off as we locate a deposit of uranium! It isn't much, but should be just enough to construct the ship components we need. We build a sophisticated drill on top of the deposit to extract it.

Here's what our ship looks like so far. It doesn't look like much, but it will work. (I think.)

All the carnage and final preparations haven't pulled bfj away from his artistic pursuits, as he continues to churn out valuable sculptures including the following:
-a philosopher eating a tomato within the outline of a tapir
-brian having sex with his girlfriend Gull while surrounded by hundreds of tiny oxen
-Shirley being killed in battle
-a paleontologist playing backgammon with three weavers
-woodpeckers playing dice
-a killer singer wearing a top hat
-a grouse wearing suspenders hovering in the air
-another self-portrait of bfj making scultpture while covered in sweat

One thing I hadn't thought of before: We can't put animals in the passenger pods, so we have to decide what to do with our pets (Blimp and Satsuki) if/when we're able to launch the ship. I put it up to the new poll above.

Will be back tomorrow as we prepare for...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jK-NcRmVcw

Post by **Sabo** » Wed Mar 08, 2017 8:23 am

I want to buy the woodpecker sculpture. How much is it?

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Wed Mar 08, 2017 9:18 am

Shit, I want it as a tattoo! Woodpeckers shooting dice sounds gangsta.

Post by **Shirley** » Wed Mar 08, 2017 9:28 am

Well, dammit. I hope you guys name the ship after me, at least.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Mar 08, 2017 9:39 am

Johnnie wrote:Shit, I want it as a tattoo! Woodpeckers shooting dice sounds gangsta.

(no one tell Johnnie they were actually playing D&D until after he gets the tattoo)

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Mar 08, 2017 9:43 am

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:12 am

First thing I picked out was Humanosaur. That's a kickass handle.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Mar 08, 2017 1:09 pm

Holy shit, you guys. That third poll option was supposed to be a joke.

Best moment of Swampvilles I-V