Swamp RimWorld Challenge 2017 - The Final Countdown

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 7:31 am

OK, here's an idea I got recently and thought I'd give it a go here.

RimWorld is a computer game in which you manage a group of stranded castaways on a remote planet, working to establish a sustainable settlement in the face of threats from starvation, natural disasters, wildlife, hostile natives, pirates, etc.

What makes RimWorld different is that unlike most other games, in which you have direct control over your characters, your settlers in RimWorld have minds of their own, and your planning must take into account their strengths, weaknesses, and personality quirks. RimWorld characters can develop rivalries, fight, fall in love, become drug addicts, have nervous breakdowns, and all manner of other things. All these details make it as much of an emergent storytelling generator as of a game.

So, what I'll be doing is playing through some sessions of the game, using characters based on Swampers to make it interesting, and post updates and screenshots here as things play out. If people here find it entertaining, great; if not, that's cool, at least I will have entertained myself.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 7:32 am

Time for our first settlement, which I will creatively call Swampville I.

Here is our first set of Swamp settlers. Your characteristics are for the most part generated randomly by the game, so don't take anything personally. If I know what you look like in real-life, I made an attempt to replicate your appearance with the character editor; if not, I guessed.

Note: If anyone really wants to see themselves featured next, let me know, otherwise I'll select people at random.

howard was not conceived naturally, but genetically engineered in a lab. A bookish child, he later went to work as a researcher for a large corporation. He has high research and medical skills, along with some knowledge of crafting and art. On the downside, he is a psychopath who refuses to engage in any kind of social activity with either humans or animals.

mister d is a video game developer with a decent variety of skills. He refuses to engage in what he calls "dumb labor." He is a fast walker but ironically is also lazy. He greatly enjoys violence and has a high propensity for starting fights with his peers.

Pruitt spent his younger years as a street hooligan on a dystopian urbanized planet. He managed to break free of his upbringing to become a space technician. His strongest skill is in construction. He is a masochist, and also harbors a deep hatred of people with prosthetic limbs.

L-Jam wrote short stories as a child before studying to become a geologist. He has good skills in mining and art, and also enjoys beating the shit out of people. He is always in an upbeat mood, but has a tendency to rub people the wrong way with his blunt manner.

Syb grew up as a street urchin before becoming a successful gladiator. He has a good combination of fighting and crafting skills, but refuses to work with mining, plants, or anything artistic. He is incapable of caring in a general sense. He is a teetotaler and a pessimist.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 7:33 am

Here's the world generated by the game. For our first settlement, I'll keep things simple and go with a spot in a temperate zone, marked by the small white square. Not too hot, not too cold, no particularly severe environmental threats.

We've crash-landed at our selected site, with our meager supplies. Time to get to work. Our three weapons are assigned based on skill - Syb (rifle), Pruitt (pistol), L-Jam (knife). There is an ostrich in the vicinity. We set about gathering up the scattered nearby resources and setting up basic stockpiles.

Syb, Pruitt, and L-Jam, coincidentally the three armed people, start doing all the manual labor, while howard and mister d are too good for that shit. Pruitt vomits on the ground twice for unspecified reasons.

L-Jam and Syb have gotten sick with "gut worms". Time for howard to show his worth. Difficult since we just got started and lack substantial medical supplies. A makeshift hospital is set up in abandoned structure left by some unknown civilization. Howard does an exemplary job and the two are back to work in minimal time.

Mister D gets to work planting crops, which apparently is good enough for him. Hope you fuckers like corn and potatoes, because that's all you'll be getting for a while.

We now have the very bare bones of a settlement laid out, with sleeping quarters and a solar power generator. However, things continue to be touchy, as amenities for better living are lacking. Syb is on the verge of a mental breakdown for an accumulation of reasons, the greatest of which is that he is "totally joy-deprived."

We have our first visitors, from a nearby colony called Borough-at-the-Mountain. They are here to observe us while offering no assistance whatsoever.

Mister D has gotten food poisoning from eating tainted berries, but it passes without serious incident.

Syb continues to have mental issues and has found himself on the verge of starvation despite a decent abundance of food. He has vomited three times on the floor of the common eating area. Thanks, asshole.

wlu_lax6 · Post by **wlu_lax6** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 7:48 am

and much like real swamp.....no women....interesting to see how that plays out.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 7:59 am

Computer me must have watched the Bills game yesterday!

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:05 am

Do the little squares of yellow debris mark every spot where someone vomited?

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:07 am

Man, those Borough-at-the-Mountain dickwads.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:19 am

See now this is what we need on a Monday morning.

Looking forward to seeing who pukes next.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:21 am

rass wrote:Do the little squares of yellow debris mark every spot where someone vomited?

No, those are just wildflowers. The vomit you have to zoom in to see clearly, which I've spared you from so far.

tennbengal · Post by **tennbengal** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:34 am

My week just brightened considerably.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:34 am

We've set up a nutrient paste dispenser, which will convert our raw crops to tasteless, though nutritious paste that will fulfill basic food needs. So far, we've managed to go vegetarian, though curiosity and lack of variety are making the few animals wandering around the premises look awfully tempting.

Hey, look--our first act of violence! A local rat has gone mad, threatening to attack anything it sees. Unfortunately, the first thing it sees happens to be howard. Syb, with his rifle and strong shooting skills, is put on alert, but inexplicably simply stands in place. It then falls on L-Jam, with his knife, to rescue Dr. howard, which he does in short order. Thanks L-Jam!. With minor injuries, howard now needs to treat himself. Released from duty, Syb begins to finally start cleaning up his own vomit. Howard suffers minor rat bites to his torso, left arm, and left ear.

Howard's seemingly minor rat bite has turned into an infection. In the absence of a doctor to treaat the doctor, we need to improvise. Pruitt has some very rudimentary medical knowledge, so he's on point by default. Let's see how it goes.

Holy shit. Howard has died from his seemingly minor rat bite infection. What the fuck happened? Bubonic plague? We'll never know. Time to give howard a decent burial. It now falls on Pruitt, who has the the same level of medical training as Dr. Barbara DeAngelis, to provide for the medical needs of the colony. Howard has been given a nice burial plot in visual distance of the infirmary, which on second thought may not be a good idea from the perspective of future patients.

Syb's various stresses have finally got the better of him and he has suffered a minor mental breakdown. The good news: his breakdown appears to be limited to wandering around in a daze. The bad news: he is still armed with a rifle. Let's see how this plays out.

Post by **Sabo** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:41 am

I just read some reviews of this game on Steam. Here's the best (which happens to be the first I read):

Let's say you capture a prisoner after a bloody raid on your colony. Do you want to:

1. Let them go in the hopes of improving relations with the attackers? YOU CAN DO THAT.

2. Heal them and have colonists talk to them about how great your colony is until they join? YOU CAN DO THAT.

3. Have a colonist with a high medical skill remove their liver to transplant into an alcoholic colonist? YOU CAN DO THAT.

4. Have a colonist with a low medical skill remove their organs just for practice? YOU CAN DO THAT.

5. Eat them because you forgot to stock up on food for the winter? YOU CAN DO THAT.

Really, what else do you need in a game?

Wow. This game is intriguing.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:42 am

Johnny Carwash wrote:Holy shit. Howard has died...

Oh, so it's a horror movie game

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:44 am

Sure, kill the black guy.

Are we going to continue to follow traditional horror movie tropes and have the first person to give in and sexually gratify himself (mister d? syb?) be the next to die?

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:45 am

dammit

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:14 am

L-Jam is Randy Marsh.

Surprised RimWorld was an available URL.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:31 am

I'll keep everyone healthy!

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:50 am

28 buckets for $2500 seems like a good deal

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:53 am

Brontoburglar wrote:28 buckets for $2500 seems like a good deal

It is indeed (holy shit)

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:58 am

Ryan wrote:
Brontoburglar wrote:28 buckets for $2500 seems like a good deal
It is indeed (holy shit)

cheeseburgers and mac and cheese from a bucket

welcome to America

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 10:01 am

'mister d...has a high propensity for starting fights with his peers.'

This game is incredibly lifelike!

'Syb...is a teetotaler.'

Oh. Maybe not.

wlu_lax6 · Post by **wlu_lax6** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 10:04 am

L-Jam3 wrote:Borough-at-the-Mountain

Sounds like a club that Blackpool plays against these days.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 10:57 am

6 dudes in a place called RimWorld that are constantly puking.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:09 pm

Are we going to examine Syb's motivations for letting the rat attack Howard? I have several theories. 1) Syb is simply an animal lover, and he couldn't bring himself to shoot a rat. 2) Food is scarce, and the remaining villagers would have more to eat with one less mouth to feed. 3) Syb considered Howard a threat to his alpha status. 4) There was a love triangle involving Syb, Howard, and most likely Mister D. Syb was passively eliminating the competition.

I hope that everything works out for the remaining villagers. I want this experiment to prove that a vegetarian diet is a viable option.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:05 pm

OK, I'll drop a few more updates here during lunch and then will be back this evening.

Good news: In his distressed mental state, Syb has dropped his rifle, rendering him less of a threat to others. The bad news: he has stripped down to just his pants and is in a fully psychotic state, eating raw wild plants while vomiting indiscriminately.

Update: Syb's pants are gone.

Hey, good news! Syb has snapped out of his psychotic state, and though still wandering around naked, now has enough of his faculties to feed himself and attend to his basic needs.

Good/bad news: Syb is once again fully clothed and armed.

Following the death of howard and Syb's temporary breakdown, the gang has managed to get a decent settlement up and running: An OK amount of food and shelter, but let's see where we go from here.

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:08 pm

So how interactive is this whole thing? Are the Swampatars all NPC's?

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:10 pm

Oh shit. A boomalope (like an antelope, but explodes when it dies) has appeared with a fierce determination to attack any human beings it encounters. Let's see if we can take care of it with minimal casualties.

Update: Syb kills the boomalope with a shot from his rifle, for a change accomplishing something that does not involve public insanity or nudity. As an added quirk of fate, a fortuitous rain extinguishes the flames set by the boomalope's fatal explosion.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:11 pm

Hey, are you afraid of beavers? I sure am. A group of hungry "alphabeavers" has arrived in the region, determined to eat every tree in sight. Are we man enough to defend the environment and/or the wood we need to make shit? Syb has been placed on beaver slaying duty (when hasn't he?)

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:12 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:As an added quirk of fate, a fortuitous rain extinguishes the flames set by the boomalope's fatal explosion.

Everything's coming up these intensely troubled goners

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:14 pm

Might I suggest that next time you do this (you are doing this again) you give us a poll to pick who we think will die first (or live longest, if this normally progresses to a point where there is only one survivor).

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:17 pm

Oh, hey look at this! A fleeing refugee named "John" (not to be confused with any of our Johns/Johnnies) is seeking asylum with our colony, pursued by a group of pirate known as the Pike Crows. In our infinite compassion (an also the promise of free labor) we of course say yes, though this may involve combat with John's pursuers. Let's see how this goes.

An actual, bona fide battle breaks out between our colony and the pirates. With a great stoke of Providence, the enemy are all shot dead within seconds and we now not only have a few dead dudes' worth of free gear, but a new colony member ready to do shitty labor in gratitude.

Pruitt has checked himself in to the clinic (of whom he is the only practicing provider) to rehabilitate from a gunshot wound to the neck. In the absence of traditional medicine he will recover with the aid of a joint dropped by one of his attackers.

John, our refugee, has joined the colony, though his lack of basic labor skills and a drug habit arouse suspicion.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:23 pm

rass wrote:So how interactive is this whole thing? Are the Swampatars all NPC's?

You can take direct control of them in emergency situations such as fighting or fleeing from something, but for the basic gameplay you assign people roles and specify work to be done, and then they act (or choose not to act) on those orders.

rass wrote:Might I suggest that next time you do this (you are doing this again) you give us a poll to pick who we think will die first (or live longest, if this normally progresses to a point where there is only one survivor).

Yes, I can see about something like this. Incidentally, this game here has already been played out in full, but you're free to guess who dies next/last, etc.

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:31 pm

Looks like we should have taken Johnnie more seriously when he talked about stocking up on guns and ammo.

Did one of the pirates shoot Pruitt in the neck, or was it Syb? I have my suspicions.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:32 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:John, our refugee, has joined the colony, though his lack of basic labor skills and a drug habit arouse suspicion.

Well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:36 pm

bapo! wrote:Looks like we should have taken Johnnie more seriously when he talked about stocking up on guns and ammo.

Did one of the pirates shoot Pruitt in the neck, or was it Syb? I have my suspicions.

Cold... so very cold... Mama...

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 3:50 pm

Pruitt can handle beaver better.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 5:29 pm

Johnnie wrote:
Johnny Carwash wrote:John, our refugee, has joined the colony, though his lack of basic labor skills and a drug habit arouse suspicion.
Well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

Just to clarify: This isn't you, just a randomly-generated character that happened to be named John. I can only fully customize the initial set of people in that arrive of the planet. You (along with all other Swampers) are still a candidate to appear in a later game, though.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 5:37 pm

So the Pike Crows have taken their earlier defeat really personally and send another group to raid us. From the game's description, they appear to be "unusually clever with their tactics." Let's see. Their names are Vikky, Kegs (not our Keg), and Ellison.

Here's a rundown of how their vaunted tactics worked out:
-Vikky walks into the range of one of our automated defense turrets and the rest of our gang camped out behind a group of rocks and is killed in a crossfire.
-Ellison takes aim at a self-domesticated turkey wandering the premises.
-Kegs attempts to take on the other turret 1-on-1, allowing us to circle behind him and shoot him dead.
-With the loss of his two comrades, Ellison gives up attacking the turkey and decides to flee.

L-Jam has taken gunshots to the torso, right leg, and left kidney but appears to be OK overall(!) Syb also has a minor wound to the torso. Let's see how fake-doctor Pruitt handles it.

Pruitt fixes them up in no time! Maybe this whole doctor thing isn't as hard as everyone makes it out to be.

We found a deposit of raw uranium in a nearby rock formation and have traded it with another faction in exchange for supplies for more immediate needs. I'm sure this won't come back to haunt us later.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 5:45 pm

Incidentally, here are some things that we acquired from stray cargo pods crashing to the surface over the course of the game:

-bearskin
-agave fruit
-turkey leather
-chinchilla meat
-labrador retriever meat

Sure are some weird-ass people jettisoning shit from outer space.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 5:51 pm

Another refugee appears being chased by pirates. This time it's an explosives expert named "Sugar" who is also coincidentally L-Jam's sister and Pruitt's girlfriend. We agree to help. Sugar, despite being morbidly obese and having a mohawk, is described as "pretty."

And here come the pirates. This may be tougher than last time.

Fortunately for us, the pirates are approaching from the direction defended by our turrets. The first pirate, Hakuja, walks right into the path and is killed in a hail of bullets. A second pirate, Malone, attempts to circle around to the right but is ambushed by our strike team emerging from behind a building. After a breif exchange Malone drops wounded and the other pirates begin to flee.

OK, interesting dilemma here. Malone is wounded after receiving 7 gunshot wounds to various areas of her body, but still alive. We can take her prisoner and nurse her back to health, and attempt to get her to join our side.

Pros:
+Malone has really good technology research skills.
+We could use another hand in general.

Cons:
-We have limited medical supplies.
-Malone is addicted to a drug that we do not have readily available.

I decided to take the gamble and take her in. Let's see how this works out.

Syb has had another (hopefully minor) mental breakdown and is wandering around sadly. The final break this time was someone disturbing him in his sleep.

Best moment of Swampvilles I-V