Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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rass
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Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by rass »

He was probably going to need his own thread next year one way or another.

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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Brontoburglar »

the hairless chest and the hairy nipples
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Ryan »

Pretty sure that's Scott Steiner
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by HaulCitgo »

Outstanding. He should have embraced his inner L. Stick is Wood years ago.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Sabo »

Somewhere in Lexington, AB is breathing hard.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

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Noli Timere Messorem
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Pruitt »

Well - dead to me now.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by rass »

Welp.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Ryan »

You can always tell how well someone is doing by how they act around the holidays.
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by rass »

And initially I was being cognizant of the Twitterly-challenged, but DUI OF THE TIGER is pretty good:

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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by mister d »

I really enjoyed "Tiger is BAC!"
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by EnochRoot »

I'd like to hear some honest opinions on how/why some journalists at a paper like the NY Post chose their profession...

I'm guessing a couple of them would say..."To sit around the meeting table firing off front cover titles, of course..."
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Rex »

Damn, Navy SEALs messed him up worse than Osama.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by The Sybian »

EnochRoot wrote:I'd like to hear some honest opinions on how/why some journalists at a paper like the NY Post chose their profession...

I'm guessing a couple of them would say..."To sit around the meeting table firing off front cover titles, of course..."
I met a NY Post headline writer. She was fresh out of college, looking to work in journalism in NYC. She was completely embarrassed when our mutual friend told me where she worked. I thought it was awesome she wrote a couple of my recent favorites, but she was ashamed.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by brian »

I would argue rock bottom is having your infidelity publicly exposed after getting into a drunken/drug-induced car accident on your property where your soon to be ex was attacking you with the very instruments with which you make your living.

A pretty standard-issue DUI is nothing after that.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Rex »

So the fascinating thing about this case is it is not alcohol, as the police report confirms.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by A_B »

Rex wrote:So the fascinating thing about this case is it is not alcohol, as the police report confirms.

Yeah, that BAC headline is so stupid now!
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Rex »

Maybe Tiger is raising awareness that there are other ways to be impaired, and that we need to turn driving over to the robots ASAP.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Ryan »

Seems like yesterday he was wobbling around and slurring his speech on the Mike Douglas Show.
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Rex »

Was he really asked to sing the national anthem backwards? What kind of monarchist police force do they have down there?
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by mister d »

Asked to recite the alphabet backwards and when asked if he understood, he said he understood the cop wanted him to sing the national anthem backwards.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by brian »

I don't think I could recite the alphabet backwards stone sober. Maybe really slowly, though maybe that's the idea.

I have a friend who is a big-time drinker (Sabo actually knows him, as we all used to work together) who practiced reciting the alphabet backwards for years just so he could do it without thinking if ever called upon during a traffic stop. He got lots of practice as well since it was always a fun bar game to see if he could do it even after drinking all day. (I don't think he ever once was unable to.)
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Rex »

I guess he just OD'd on 'Merica then
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Sabo »

brian wrote:I don't think I could recite the alphabet backwards stone sober. Maybe really slowly, though maybe that's the idea.

I have a friend who is a big-time drinker (Sabo actually knows him, as we all used to work together) who practiced reciting the alphabet backwards for years just so he could do it without thinking if ever called upon during a traffic stop. He got lots of practice as well since it was always a fun bar game to see if he could do it even after drinking all day. (I don't think he ever once was unable to.)
That totally sounds like Aaron X.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by brian »

Sabo wrote:
brian wrote:I don't think I could recite the alphabet backwards stone sober. Maybe really slowly, though maybe that's the idea.

I have a friend who is a big-time drinker (Sabo actually knows him, as we all used to work together) who practiced reciting the alphabet backwards for years just so he could do it without thinking if ever called upon during a traffic stop. He got lots of practice as well since it was always a fun bar game to see if he could do it even after drinking all day. (I don't think he ever once was unable to.)
That totally sounds like Aaron X.
Close, it's Mark B. Though I wouldn't doubt if Aaron picked it up from him. It's a pretty good idea.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by mister d »

brian wrote:I have a friend who is a big-time drinker (Sabo actually knows him, as we all used to work together) who practiced reciting the alphabet backwards for years just so he could do it without thinking if ever called upon during a traffic stop.
This feels like a new #1 spot on the "Signs you have a drinking problem" list.
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Post by brian »

He absolutely does (or did, I don't hang out with him but every couple or three years at this point) and he would be the first to admit it. Very high functioning alcoholic. He once quit drinking for a year just to prove that he could and then started drinking again with the same gusto. He's retired and in his early 60s now though so he's very likely slowed down some.

Sabo and I once hung out with him until like 5 a.m. at a trade show in Las Vegas (long before I lived here) and I had to be on the show floor by 8 a.m. and looked and felt like death warmed over. Mark always rolled in as fresh as a daisy no matter how much he had to drink the night before.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Sabo »

brian wrote:He absolutely does (or did, I don't hang out with him but every couple or three years at this point) and he would be the first to admit it. Very high functioning alcoholic. He once quit drinking for a year just to prove that he could and then started drinking again with the same gusto. He's retired and in his early 60s now though so he's very likely slowed down some.

Sabo and I once hung out with him until like 5 a.m. at a trade show in Las Vegas (long before I lived here) and I had to be on the show floor by 8 a.m. and looked and felt like death warmed over. Mark always rolled in as fresh as a daisy no matter how much he had to drink the night before.
Yeah, I felt sorry for you guys that day. I think I got to the show around 11 and I felt like complete hell, but even then it wasn't that bad because I flew home that afternoon. That's still the last time I've stepped foot in Las Vegas.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by brian »

Others have mentioned this, but it's like a 99 percent chance he was on Ambien or something like it. That shit will fuck you up and you have no business behind the wheel after taking it.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Rex »

Is it possible to have an episode so bad that you don't even know you're driving?
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by brian »

Rex wrote:Is it possible to have an episode so bad that you don't even know you're driving?
For sure. I had a co-worker that took one before a redeye flight, but the plane had to taxi back to the gate and the flight was cancelled and she woke up in the airport gate area with no memory of getting off the plane or going to sleep in the gate area. ETA: Needless to say the "normal" move would have been to get a hotel for the evening, as presumably the other poor souls who were on that flight did, but she wasn't able to process those decisions.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Nonlinear FC »

Interesting "tangent" Brian, but it actually ties back into the Ambien thing. Your friend likely has a really high tolerance for alcohol... and I don't mean one that he built up, but genetically... I was reading about how some very small percentage of people just process it differently. They can drink extraordinary amount... they get drunk, but it takes a ton, and then the next day they are none the worse for wear.

Same thing with Ambien, though it seems that it affects a lot more people in anomalous way. I can take an Ambien and literally doesn't do anything. My BIL took an Ambien and found himself at the 7-11 down the block in his boxers. No idea how he got there.


ETA - While the alcohol super-tolerance may sound great, if you have impulse control issues, others around you likely find it pretty damn exhausting to deal with your drunk ass every night. That was the point of the article. Just didn't want to make it sound like I was glorifying it.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by sancarlos »

brian wrote:He's retired and in his early 60s now though so he's very likely slowed down some.
I wish it worked that way. My father is 82 and drinks as much now as he ever did. (Way too much.)
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Ryan »

I took Sudafed (or something similar that was not non-drowsy) at work one day, got out of my chair 30 minutes later in the middle of the morning and drove home. I remember nothing.
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Pruitt »

Ryan wrote:I took Sudafed (or something similar that was not non-drowsy) at work one day, got out of my chair 30 minutes later in the middle of the morning and drove home. I remember nothing.
The last time I took something with ephedrine in it, I was awake for 36 hours. That shit is brutal.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by A_B »

If I take anything with a sleep aid in it I may as well be in a Stephen king novel.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by sancarlos »

I've never taken any sleep aid other than over-the-counter melatonin. I have lots of cool dreams on melatonin.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by A_B »

sancarlos wrote:I've never taken any sleep aid other than over-the-counter melatonin. I have lots of cool dreams on melatonin.

Oh yeah. THats one of them. Tylenol pm is other. I usually take something when I'm in a hotel. So it's extra fun when I wake up in a panic in a strange room.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Rex »

Never tried a sleep medication. Benadryl was freaky enough for me.
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Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Rex »



So far, the evidence I've read is fully consistent with someone taking legal medications at the suggested dosage, guilty of nothing worse than maybe ignoring a doctor's warning about drug interactions, and quite possibly unaware of what he did until a cop found him. I'd sure love to hear a lot more inculpatory information than that before something like this gets released.
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