Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Okay . . . let's try this again.

Moderators: Shirley, Sabo, brian, rass, DaveInSeattle

Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 16730
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: TUCSON, BITCH!

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Johnnie »

mister d wrote:
brian wrote:I have a friend who is a big-time drinker (Sabo actually knows him, as we all used to work together) who practiced reciting the alphabet backwards for years just so he could do it without thinking if ever called upon during a traffic stop.
This feels like a new #1 spot on the "Signs you have a drinking problem" list.
I think I taught myself that in 6th grade because I was bored.

"L, M, N, O, P" becomes "O, N, M, L, K" with the cadence and I chuckled because that's racist.

Also...

mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.
P.D.X.
The Dude
Posts: 5280
Joined: Wed Mar 13, 2013 12:31 pm

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by P.D.X. »

Meh. That's what happens when you quickly draw a clipping mask around someone's head so you can stick it on a different background. There's no "airbrushing" going on there.
tennbengal
The Dude
Posts: 11975
Joined: Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:07 pm

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by tennbengal »

So this was like the short drive home in Wolf of Wall Street then...
User avatar
sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 18060
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by sancarlos »

The backwards alphabet, walking the straight line, following his finger with your eyes, touching your nose...

A cop told me once that none of those matter as far as whether or not you are getting arrested. They are just gatherings of evidence against you. Your BAC (or refusal to test) is what determines your possible arrest.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
User avatar
A_B
The Dude
Posts: 23319
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:36 am
Location: Getting them boards like a wolf in the chicken pen.

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by A_B »

sancarlos wrote:The backwards alphabet, walking the straight line, following his finger with your eyes, touching your nose...

A cop told me once that none of those matter as far as whether or not you are getting arrested. They are just gatherings of evidence against you. Your BAC (or refusal to test) is what determines your possible arrest.
For alcohol, sure. He blew 0.0, so those tests become a bit more important aspects of evidence.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 27740
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: Downtown Las Vegas

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by brian »

Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 18865
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by The Sybian »

brian wrote:https://twitter.com/Complex/status/897284178525515776

I want to party with Tiger.


I don't know how much of a party it'll be mixing 5 depressants/sleeping pills, but point taken. Dilaudid is supposed to be a better high than heroin, so Tiger ain't messing around here.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 16730
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: TUCSON, BITCH!

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Johnnie »

mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.
User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 27740
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: Downtown Las Vegas

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by brian »

-2 through 8.

Tiger is back/is Tiger back (circle one)
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 27740
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: Downtown Las Vegas

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by brian »

(I don't really care enough any more to invest any emotional energy into it, but Tiger somehow recovering and winning one or two more majors in his 40s would be the golf story of the decade.)
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
User avatar
Ryan
The Dude
Posts: 10439
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:01 am

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Ryan »

Bigger than that other thing that's already #1?!?!?
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
User avatar
DaveInSeattle
The Dude
Posts: 8383
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 5:51 am
Location: Seattle, WA

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by DaveInSeattle »

brian wrote:(I don't really care enough any more to invest any emotional energy into it, but Tiger somehow recovering and winning one or two more majors in his 40s would be the golf story of the decade.)


It would be way bigger then the Golf Story of the decade.

And it ain't happening. He's over 40, with a really fucked up back.
User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 27740
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: Downtown Las Vegas

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by brian »

Ryan wrote:Bigger than that other thing that's already #1?!?!?


His collapse? Yeah. Everyone loves a redemption story.
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29047
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by mister d »

No, he's referring to *THE THING*, not that thing.
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 27740
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: Downtown Las Vegas

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by brian »

mister d wrote:No, he's referring to *THE THING*, not that thing.


I'm officially missing something. Maybe someone could indulge me and share?
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by rass »

A_B? He's up on the jokes around here.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
User avatar
A_B
The Dude
Posts: 23319
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:36 am
Location: Getting them boards like a wolf in the chicken pen.

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by A_B »

DaveInSeattle wrote:
brian wrote:(I don't really care enough any more to invest any emotional energy into it, but Tiger somehow recovering and winning one or two more majors in his 40s would be the golf story of the decade.)


It would be way bigger then the Golf Story of the decade.

And it ain't happening. He's over 40, with a really fucked up back.


For what it's worth, Davis Love III won a tour event at 51 after having the surgery that Tiger Had. Davis Love III is a hall of famer, but he was not Tiger Woods.

I know, me being optimistic about Tiger isn't surprising, but if he's truly pain-free I think he will have multiple wins over the next decade, hopefully with some majors thrown in.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
User avatar
Ryan
The Dude
Posts: 10439
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:01 am

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Ryan »

Sorry, the joke was that I couldn't name any big stories in golf in the last 7 years, but I wasn't thinking about Tiger's on-course downfall being this decade.
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29047
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by mister d »

I was leveraging his joke in an attempt to try to create wider scale confusion and also because you'd just said how sick you were of trolling. Also sorry.
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
User avatar
Pruitt
The Dude
Posts: 18105
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:02 am
Location: North Shore of Lake Ontario

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Pruitt »

He golfed with Trump. Fuck his career.
"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
HaulCitgo
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4444
Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:07 pm

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by HaulCitgo »

That's the one thing you should do with Trump.
User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 27740
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: Downtown Las Vegas

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by brian »

If he asked me I'd golf with him, but I'm not sure he'd like the things I would have to say.
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
HaulCitgo
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4444
Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:07 pm

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by HaulCitgo »

I golf with guys I don't like most of the time. So long as there's beer and good weather I'm in.
tennbengal
The Dude
Posts: 11975
Joined: Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:07 pm

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by tennbengal »

He's making birdies and stuff.
User avatar
Sabo
The Dude
Posts: 5466
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:33 am
Location: On the trail

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Sabo »

brian wrote:If he asked me I'd golf with him, but I'm not sure he'd like the things I would have to say.


This, exactly. I respect the office of President enough that if the President - regardless of who it is - asked to speak to me directly, then I'd go. And if they don't like what I have to say, then so be it.
Birds don’t suck. They lack the necessary anatomical structures to do so.
HaulCitgo
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4444
Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:07 pm

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by HaulCitgo »

-8. Did not see that coming. Would definitely pull for him to find some wins.
User avatar
A_B
The Dude
Posts: 23319
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:36 am
Location: Getting them boards like a wolf in the chicken pen.

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by A_B »

HaulCitgo wrote:-8. Did not see that coming. Would definitely pull for him to find some wins.


They're pretty cushy pins today, but he's holding his own against a lot of really good players. The weekend will tell if he is ready for four days of walking yet.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 27740
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: Downtown Las Vegas

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by brian »

HaulCitgo wrote:-8. Did not see that coming. Would definitely pull for him to find some wins.


Odds on him winning the Masters have dropped from 100-1 to 15-1 in Vegas. A huge overreaction. Anyone buying tickets at even 25-1 is a sucker.

But I hope he does well.
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
User avatar
A_B
The Dude
Posts: 23319
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:36 am
Location: Getting them boards like a wolf in the chicken pen.

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by A_B »

2018 is actually the last year Tiger is exempted for the US Open. So he actually needs to play a good season (or win a major/players or be Top 10 in US open next year) to be good for 2019.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 27740
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: Downtown Las Vegas

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by brian »

A_B wrote:2018 is actually the last year Tiger is exempted for the US Open. So he actually needs to play a good season (or win a major/players or be Top 10 in US open next year) to be good for 2019.


Assuming he doesn't (but stays healthy) it would be awesome to see him go through qualifying for it though.
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by rass »

Old painty can golf course.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
User avatar
EnochRoot
The Dude
Posts: 6187
Joined: Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:18 pm

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by EnochRoot »

There’s a guy here at the pub wearing a Tiger Woods’ Sunday-red TW golf shirt.

Interesting. Let it be known that I will survive because I fear the underdog.
Noli Timere Messorem
User avatar
A_B
The Dude
Posts: 23319
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:36 am
Location: Getting them boards like a wolf in the chicken pen.

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by A_B »

Image
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
tennbengal
The Dude
Posts: 11975
Joined: Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:07 pm

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by tennbengal »

Cleared my day to watch golf for the first time in four years. Worth it.
User avatar
wlu_lax6
The Dude
Posts: 10402
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 7:16 am

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by wlu_lax6 »

And now reports are El Tigre will captain the lesser Ryder Cup (President's Cup) in 2019 down under.
User avatar
Ryan
The Dude
Posts: 10439
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:01 am

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Ryan »

Leading at Bay Hill through 8 big ones. I want to believe.
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
User avatar
degenerasian
The Dude
Posts: 12302
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:22 pm

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by degenerasian »

Tiger's 11-1 to win the Masters, might have to jump on that soon.
Kung Fu movies are like porn. There's 1 on 1, then 2 on 1, then a group scene..
Joe K
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4754
Joined: Sun Mar 31, 2013 4:37 pm

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by Joe K »

degenerasian wrote: Thu Mar 15, 2018 10:54 am Tiger's 11-1 to win the Masters, might have to jump on that soon.
We’ll know Tiger is BACK when the first hot-taker revives the ridiculous Tiger vs. The Field “debates” we used to see last decade.
User avatar
A_B
The Dude
Posts: 23319
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:36 am
Location: Getting them boards like a wolf in the chicken pen.

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by A_B »

degenerasian wrote: Thu Mar 15, 2018 10:54 am Tiger's 11-1 to win the Masters, might have to jump on that soon.
Down to 8-1 last i saw
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
User avatar
sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 18060
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Post by sancarlos »

degenerasian wrote: Thu Mar 15, 2018 10:54 am Tiger's 11-1 to win the Masters, might have to jump on that soon.
Of course, odds will get a lot tighter if he wins this weekend.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
Post Reply