Swamp Out of the Park Baseball 2017 - Offseason

[Johnny Carwash]

Did you lowball me or did I graciously lower my demands because I'm a team first guy who didn't want my family to have to move?

I can't remember. I think both?

I counter-offered the big money guys with 10-20% less because that's business. I wasn't going to pull "you'll get half that and like it," but maybe I should have?

Honest question for our Jewish players (Pruitt/wlu_lax/BFJ/anyone else?): Do you want me to rest you on Yom Kippur?

Would that be for the Friday game or the Saturday game or both? Based on his attitude, virtual wlu_lax6, probably wants to pad his stats and play. He could care less about the rest of the team, the thoughts of the media, family guilt, or fans (especially sports radio).

Both Friday and Saturday are night games so it would be just Friday, if I understand the rules correctly?

[bfj]

Honest question for our Jewish players (Pruitt/wlu_lax/BFJ/anyone else?): Do you want me to rest you on Yom Kippur?

Would that be for the Friday game or the Saturday game or both? Based on his attitude, virtual wlu_lax6, probably wants to pad his stats and play. He could care less about the rest of the team, the thoughts of the media, family guilt, or fans (especially sports radio).

I can play, Skip.

[degenerasian]

- Another wrinkle I hadn't mentioned before: Degen has a player option for 2018, so we'll have to see if he chooses to come back.

Do I get to choose or does the computer choose or are we voting?

[Pruitt]

Honest question for our Jewish players (Pruitt/wlu_lax/BFJ/anyone else?): Do you want me to rest you on Yom Kippur?

I'm reading from the Torah at Temple Kol Yisroel Ha Kodesh Sinai Beth David in downtown Burlington on Saturday. I will also be blowing the shofar and hitting on the Rabbi's hot wife as we break the fast. So no game for me on Friday.

[Johnny Carwash]

- Another wrinkle I hadn't mentioned before: Degen has a player option for 2018, so we'll have to see if he chooses to come back.

Do I get to choose or does the computer choose or are we voting?

If I just let it play out, the computer will choose. Though I am able to "intervene" and edit things on the back end. Still working out how we'll handle player departures if we carry over into next season.

[wlu_lax6]

Though I am able to "intervene" and edit things on the back end.

I.E. don't bet against Burlington to take the Series.

[Johnny Carwash]

New poll up for the playoff roster. Shown are the "borderline" guys; select which ones to include based on their performance and our current roster composition.

Note that unfortunately EnochRoot and BSF are out for the playoffs with injuries, so our outfield depth will be pretty thin.

[mister d]

Actually I think the OF will be just fine so shut the fuck up.

[Giff]

Don't fuck with our team chemistry guys.

[brian]

I'm probably going to sign that contract extension, but I have my agent putting out feelers to see how it will impact my national endorsements to stay in a second rate town like Burlington. Could have more opportunities some place like Boise or Fresno.

[sancarlos]

I'm probably going to sign that contract extension, but I have my agent putting out feelers to see how it will impact my national endorsements to stay in a second rate town like Burlington. Could have more opportunities some place like Boise or Fresno.

Well, my contract for tv commercials for Dave & Clem''s Used Cars is also up, so you could get in on that for next season.

[Ryan]

Thanks to everyone who realizes I'm about to hit a home run in the postseason

[wlu_lax6]

Thanks to everyone who realizes I'm about to hit a home run in the postseason

Ryan =

[Johnny Carwash]

One more day to vote on playoff rosters in case you missed.

Also noticed the total votes aren't a multiple of 5, so looks like some people want to keep guys off the roster out of spite.

[rass]

One more day to vote on playoff rosters in case you missed.

Also noticed the total votes aren't a multiple of 5, so looks like some people want to keep guys off the roster out of spite.

Or are strategically protecting their own spot...

[mister d]

Ha. I've been discovered.

[Johnny Carwash]

WEEK 26 UPDATE


Espinoza Goes Wild, But Sports Frogs Win
The Burlington Sports Frogs and Utica Clubs lit up the scoreboard at Annette Funicello Ballpark.

Despite a great performance by Utica first baseman Victor Espinoza, the Burlington Sports Frogs defeated the Clubs by the score of 11-9 at Annette Funicello Ballpark. Espinoza hit 2 home runs, while scoring 3 times and driving in 5. The win was credited to Johnnie in relief. His record improves to 6-5. Jon Buesa took the loss. Shirley got the save, his 32nd in 38 chances.

The Sports Frogs got a big at-bat from catcher A_B. For the game, A_B was 1-4 with a home run and a walk. He drove in 3 runs and scored once. In the top of the ninth, with runners on 1st and 3rd, he stroked a 3-run home run. His 10th home run of the season gave Burlington a 11-9 lead.

"We put it together today and came out with the win," A_B said in postgame remarks. "That's the main thing."

The Sports Frogs bumped their record to 99-58 with this latest triumph.



Victory Pushes Sports Frogs Record to 100-58
The Burlington Sports Frogs got a strong performance from pitcher TT2.0, who stymied the Utica offense en route to a 4-2 win at Annette Funicello Ballpark. In 7 innings, TT2.0 surrendered 8 hits, while striking out 9 and walking 0. He allowed 2 runs. The Sports Frogs bumped their record to 100-58 with this latest triumph.

Burlington second baseman wlu_lax contributed to the cause with a double in the top of the first. For the game, wlu_lax was 4 for 5 with a double and 3 singles.

"We won," wlu_lax told assembled media after the game. "I guess that's all that really matters."

With this win, we officially clinched our division! Fuck Utica!



Late Rally by Clubs Secures Win
Both teams had their chances, but the Utica Clubs eventually prevailed at Annette Funicello Ballpark.

The Utica Clubs did just enough to secure a 5-4 victory over the Burlington Sports Frogs at Annette Funicello Ballpark. Nobody did more than pitcher Ruben Perez, who captured player of the game honors. The Clubs bumped their record to 94-64 with this latest triumph.

Jim Jensen hit a run-scoring double off Johnnie in the bottom of the ninth, which put the Clubs in front, 5-4. In addition to the double, Jensen had 1 single, while going 2 for 5.

"We put it together today and came out with the win," Jensen said in postgame remarks. "That's the main thing."



Sports Frogs Lose to Sealfisters, 8-1
Ken Moss pitched a gem to lead Woonsocket to a 8-1 victory over the Burlington Sports Frogs. In 6 innings, Moss surrendered 3 hits, while striking out 7 and walking 3. He allowed 1 run. Woonsocket currently is in last place in the Bensell Conference Northeast Division at 64-96.

It could have been a different outcome for Woonsocket, had it not been for Dan Wyman, the 24-year old center fielder. Wyman contributed a 2-run home run in the top of the second inning to put Woonsocket up, 4-0.

"I'm proud of the boys for pulling through," said Sealfisters manager Joey Gill. "The wins don't come easy for this team, but everyone's got an extra jump in their step after a game like this."

Note: This was the Yom Kippur game. I sat all the Jewish players and our all-Gentile lineup proceeded to shit the bed.



Dominant Performance by Brian in Burlington Win
Brian pitched a gem to lead Burlington to a 7-1 victory over the Woonsocket Sealfisters. The Sports Frogs bumped their record to 101-60 with this latest triumph.

Brian was in the zone all game. He frustrated Woonsocket hitters while giving the Sports Frogs 8 innings of quality work. Brian threw 100 pitches, allowing 5 hits and getting 7 punchouts.

"I just love going out and having a big game," Brian said when asked about being named player of the game. "It's an honor to have your talents recognized."



Jerloma Rips Burlington for 5 Hits
Jerloma put on a hitting clinic today as the Woonsocket Sealfisters dumped the Burlington Sports Frogs 8-7 at Green Mountain Grounds.

The Woonsocket second baseman made Burlington defenders earn their pay, lashing Burlington pitching for 5 hits in 5 at-bats in the game. He told BNN reporters after the game that his strategy was "just hit it where they pitched it."

"Too often I try too hard to pull the ball," Jerloma said in his postgame press conference. "Today, I just went with the pitch."

Jerloma singled in the 1st, singled in the 3rd, hit a two-run double in the 4th, singled in the 6th and singled in the 8th.

Jerloma is hitting .320 this year with 25 home runs and 99 RBIs. He also has an OBP of .395, 77 walks and scored 93 times.

Our season couldn't have ended on a better note.

[Johnny Carwash]

NEWS AND NOTES:

- Congratulations on our division championship!

- Contract negotiation update: Holy shit, Mister D turned us down! And no, I didn't rig this over our disagreement on Super Troopers.

- In better news, Brian agreed to re-sign for 66 million over 4 years.

- Based on the results of the poll, the bolded players will be on the playoff roster. Note: There was a three-way tie for fifth place, and it turned out I had one more spot than I thought, so I selected BigFatJew and HaulCitgo based on service time. Sorry, Giff/Rams Fanny/GoodKarma.

Rush
chedda
rass
Ryan
BigFatJew
HaulCitgo
Giff
Rams Fanny
GoodKarma

- As mentioned earlier, EnochRoot and BSF21's injuries will unfortunately keep them out of the playoffs.

- DSafetyGuy strained an oblique and will need a few days to recover, possibly scratching him from a playoff start.

[Johnny Carwash]

Final Regular Season Batting Stats:



Final Regular Season Pitching Stats:



Minor League Report:

Our AAA Burlington (NJ) Coats roared back from an 0-2 deficit to win their best-of-five Divisional Series over the Sapulpa Mountain Cats. Unfortunately, they've now fallen into an 0-3 hole against the El Paso Spinners in the Conference Championship. Here's hoping they can repeat that comeback.

[Johnny Carwash]

FINAL REGULAR SEASON STANDINGS

We wrapped up our division title, but were edged out by Halifax for the league's best record and home-field advantage:




PLAYOFF SCHEDULE

In the Divisional Series we'll be facing the Mid-Atlantic champion Wilmington Creditors. The Utica Clubs and Ajax Fighting Hosers will square off in the wild-card game, with the winner to face the Halifax Machines.

Over in the Shrew Conference, the Corpus Christi Brinkleys, Parma Ham Fighters, and Oxnard Sugar Beets came out as the division winners, with the Yakima Oxen and Shreveport Ratchets facing off for the wild card.



See the poll above to choose our playoff pitching rotation. Once that's set, I'll see about the best way to update the playoff games here.

[rass]

You should have taken a little artistic license with Jerloma's quotes and replaced them with Tebow-isms.

[L-Jam3]

Fucking Machines....

(not you, Syb.)

[wlu_lax6]

The division championship quote is the least surly thing virtual wlu_lax6 has said

[A_B]

So the Jews cost us home-field advantage.

[degenerasian]

So the Jews cost us home-field advantage.

and fucking Jerloma

[Giff]

So the Jews cost us home-field advantage.

and fucking Jerloma

That cost us home-field and our dignity.

[DSafetyGuy]

In addition to my oblique injury, I've also faded down the stretch after my hot streak in July and August. I should be the long man out of the pen if a starter gets rocked or a game goes into extras.

[brian]

$66 million. Real me is jealous of virtual me.

[bfj]

So the Jews cost us home-field advantage.

I was ready. Not sure if I got in the ball game.

[Pruitt]

So the Jews cost us home-field advantage.

On erev Yom Kippur too.

[Ryan]

So the Jews cost us home-field advantage.

That's ok, I'm sure we'll rightfully get it back at some point

[Johnny Carwash]

Trying to think through the best way to handle the playoff updates. Should I post them throughout the week to coincide with the game dates? Or all at once at the end of the week?

[mister d]

Real time, definitely.

[brian]

Trying to think through the best way to handle the playoff updates. Should I post them throughout the week to coincide with the game dates? Or all at once at the end of the week?

What's most convenient for you? If you don't mind doing it every day I'd say that, but seems like that might be a pain in the ass.

[EnochRoot]

Trying to think through the best way to handle the playoff updates. Should I post them throughout the week to coincide with the game dates? Or all at once at the end of the week?

Out-for-the-year says daily.

[TT2.0]

9ks and only 2 runs in the game to clinch our first division title...virtual me likes pitching in clutch situations. lets go get us a ring gentlemen

[wlu_lax6]

I like the daily updates. Figure then you can copy/paste in some more game details (highlight/box score or such)

[Giff]

After making such a huge difference in clubhouse chemistry only to be left off the playoff roster, not ONE of you mutherfuckers have asked me how I'm doing.

[duff]

After making such a huge difference in clubhouse chemistry only to be left off the playoff roster, not ONE of you mutherfuckers have asked me how I'm doing.

How you doing you silly cuck!

[brian]

IRL Pruitt's RBI total would be the 6th most since 1950 (and 42nd all-time).