The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for anyone who can’t retire early and get a new MacBook thread

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for anyone who can’t retire early and get a new MacBook thread

Post by rass »

Jerloma can't view tweets (from work?), and as such finds himself missing out on portions of Swamp discussion.

I think it would be nice if we can all pitch in and take a couple of seconds to throw a quick description of recent, stand-out tweets into this thread. I think a separate thread is best so as to not disrupt the vibrant conversations taking place in the rest of the Swamp. I'm sure j-lo can make sense of the context and follow along. Maybe put the text in Twitter blue?

To get us kicked off, I offer this:


Shit Johnnie! That wasn't nice!


Thanks in advance everyone!
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by rass »

A portrait of the 2016 electoral map is being hung somewhere in the West Wing
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by A_B »

Trump uses Russian lawyers!

(i may not understand this)
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by rass »

That's the idea!

Though there was a separate link included there, and I'm sure jerloma already checked it out.
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Jerloma »

You guys are the best. I don't care what Scottie says about you.
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by mister d »

Someone made a joke that the next head of the FBI should be the cop who stood guard while Roethlisberger was "hanging out" with a drunk girl
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Ryan »

Jerloma wrote:You guys are the best. I don't care what Scottie says about you.
Shit, who tweeted this?
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by tennbengal »

There was this naked woman kissing another naked woman and the caption said all they were missing was someone to join them. Seems legit.
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Johnnie »

Pence intimates that he likes getting fucked by a horse.

I expect that you'll wear your shirt to his rally.
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by rass »

a stock photo of a crying little kid holding a gun
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by A_B »

Trump takes a shit on a sbarro counter
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Jerloma »

What's the Ezekiel 23:20 thing?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by rass »

Pence with a horse, quoting Reagan: "I've often said there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse."
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by brian »



This is a half-mile down the street from me.

JERLOMA: THERE IS A WATER MAIN BREAK ABOUT A HALF-MILE DOWN THE STREET FROM ME. THE TWEET INCLUDES A PICTURE OF WATER FLYING DOZENS OF FEET IN THE AIR.
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Jerloma »

Okay, thanks. Giff okay?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by sancarlos »



Mookie Wilson: When I’m in a slump, I comfort myself by saying if I believe in dinosaurs, then somewhere, they must be believing in me. And if they believe in me, then I can believe in me. Then I bust out of the slump.
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Jerloma »

Wow. He could have used a teammate like Mark Grace.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by rass »

on screen graphics appear to emanate from a butt
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Jerloma »

That's a little ambiguous.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by rass »

Trump grimaces as he pushes aside a man (fellow NATO leader) to get to the front of a group of people, then sort of preens.
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Ryan »

I started reading all these like Bob Saget announcing America's Funniest Home Video finalists and it's somehow even better
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by sancarlos »


Billboard says "You can't hold hands with God when you're masturbating" (Picture of hand on fire)
Accompanying tweet says, "I have two hands."
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Jerloma »

Could someone be a love and check the Pawsox Twitter feed and let me know if it says anything about the game being cancelled tonight?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by govmentchedda »

No mention of a cancellation for tonight on the official feed.
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Jerloma »

Thank you.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Giff »



Jerloma searches weird shit on Pornhub.
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Jerloma »

Last two tweets in Trump thread anyone?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by rass »

DJT: Who can figure out the true meaning of "covfefe" ??? Enjoy!


In reference to a report that Ivanka pressured DJT to not leave the Paris accords, "If only Ivanka were half as good at winning some of these policy fights as she is at making sure everyone knows she tried."
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Pruitt »



And Vermont? Tennessee? Arkansas?
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by sancarlos »


(1) For people who are scared to death of what they think Sharia is they sure try their damndest to imitate it.
(2) North Carolina woman admits leading 30 parishioners in beating of gay church member to expel his ‘demons’ (Link to news story attached.)
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by rass »

Hank Jr and his rowdy friends are coming back to MNF's opening theme song.
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by rass »

engagement photos with a JC impersonator
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by brian »

Subban is fucking awesome.
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by brian »

Bernie Bros are still delusional.
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by rass »

dude involved in Don Jr's meeting with the nice Russian lady lawyer wrote:cunty
eyebrows
nose
animal print shirt
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by rass »

photo of Kit Harrington next to an old photo of GRRM and they look pretty damn similar
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Jerloma »

Thank you!
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by sancarlos »

Your boy Big Ben now says he regrets not being on the field. In response, a guy tweeted:

It appears Ben Roethlisberger is upset over an incident in which he did not give his enthusiastic consent. It's the Year of Perpetual Irony.
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by rass »

I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: The transcribe/paraphrase tweets for Jerloma thread

Post by Jerloma »

Thank you!
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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