Swamp Wrestling Federation - SEMIFINALS

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duff
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - FIRST ROUND MATCHES 13-16

Post by duff » Fri Dec 08, 2017 9:20 am

Ugh. The Battle of Texas. Bleh. Giff just made Gheorghe Muresan the pride of the Lone Star State. Texas should be called the No Star State b/c these two belong with EunuchRoot and Richard Simmon's brother in the deep depths of jobber land. TT won with two straight Tiger Drivers. Nothing else to say. Don't be proud Texas. Gone are the days of the Von Erichs and Stone Cold. Welcome to the days of the Bean Pole and Cuck.

Null stars
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - FIRST ROUND MATCHES 13-16

Post by tennbengal » Fri Dec 08, 2017 10:12 am

duff wrote:PDX v bengal was better then expected. bengal started out very strong and it had the makings of the squashiest of all squash matches. But my new favorite member of the Diva division (yeah, I know it isn't called that anymore), PDX, started delivering some major kicks and devastating German suplexes. bengal did his best to withstand the offensive onslaught and did his best JBL clothelines from hell. Exciting match to open the round (I am not counting that amateur snoozefest that even ICP would be ashamed of).

2 3/4 stars.


Walking...on PDX's face.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - FIRST ROUND MATCHES 13-16

Post by Pruitt » Fri Dec 08, 2017 10:28 am

Was that "Walking In Memphis?"

Worst entrance music ever.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - FIRST ROUND MATCHES 13-16

Post by tennbengal » Fri Dec 08, 2017 10:38 am

Pruitt wrote:Was that "Walking In Memphis?"

Worst entrance music ever.


It was. I rule. My next entrance music is gonna hopefully be "Building a Mystery"...

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - FIRST ROUND MATCHES 13-16

Post by Pruitt » Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:16 pm

tennbengal wrote:
Pruitt wrote:Was that "Walking In Memphis?"

Worst entrance music ever.


It was. I rule. My next entrance music is gonna hopefully be "Building a Mystery"...


I may switch to some Anne Murray if you take Canada's other songbird.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - FIRST ROUND MATCHES 13-16

Post by Johnny Carwash » Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:31 pm

Top matches of the first round, IMO:

1. PDX-bengal
2. Pruitt-DSafe
3. GPJ-sancarlos
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - FIRST ROUND MATCHES 13-16

Post by TT2.0 » Fri Dec 08, 2017 3:32 pm

duff wrote:Ugh. The Battle of Texas. Bleh. Giff just made Gheorghe Muresan the pride of the Lone Star State. Texas should be called the No Star State b/c these two belong with EunuchRoot and Richard Simmon's brother in the deep depths of jobber land. TT won with two straight Tiger Drivers. Nothing else to say. Don't be proud Texas. Gone are the days of the Von Erichs and Stone Cold. Welcome to the days of the Bean Pole and Cuck.

Null stars


you are goddamned lucky texas public education didnt teach me what "null" means
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - FIRST ROUND MATCHES 13-16

Post by duff » Fri Dec 08, 2017 8:21 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:Top matches of the first round, IMO:

1. PDX-bengal
2. Pruitt-DSafe
3. GPJ-sancarlos


I am pretty sure those match my star ratings. Haven't fine any cross reference.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - FIRST ROUND MATCHES 13-16

Post by DSafetyGuy » Fri Dec 08, 2017 8:55 pm

duff wrote:
Johnny Carwash wrote:Top matches of the first round, IMO:

1. PDX-bengal
2. Pruitt-DSafe
3. GPJ-sancarlos


I am pretty sure those match my star ratings. Haven't fine any cross reference.


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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - FIRST ROUND MATCHES 13-16

Post by Johnny Carwash » Sat Dec 09, 2017 2:03 pm

Just saying, there's a rumor going around SWF insider circles that Ryan might break out a past alter ego for his next match for luck...
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by Johnny Carwash » Mon Dec 11, 2017 7:42 am

[spoiler=MATCH RESULTS]duff defeated Ryan by pin
A_B defeated Johnnie by pin
GoodKarma defeated bapo! by pin
Pruitt defeated Rush2112[/spoiler]
[spoiler=HIGHLIGHTS]Image
Image
Image
Image[/spoiler]

Match 1 - duff vs. Ryan


Match 2 - A_B vs. Johnnie



Match 3 - bapo! vs. GoodKarma


Match 4 - Pruitt vs. Rush2112



[spoiler=UPDATED BRACKET]Image[/spoiler]
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by GoodKarma » Mon Dec 11, 2017 9:44 am

All that action but then a sudden/lackluster finish. A win's a win, though...
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by Ryan » Mon Dec 11, 2017 9:53 am

I'm still undefeated

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by Pruitt » Mon Dec 11, 2017 10:44 am

Too easy.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - FIRST ROUND MATCHES 13-16

Post by bapo! » Mon Dec 11, 2017 4:42 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:Just saying, there's a rumor going around SWF insider circles that Ryan might break out a past alter ego for his next match for luck.

I was hoping for the Gobbledy Gooker, but Turd Ferguson had a nice run back in the day, too. Always good for a nostalgia pop.

Also, I like the specter of DSafe hanging over every Pruitt match. This is long-term storytelling at its finest.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - FIRST ROUND MATCHES 13-16

Post by Pruitt » Mon Dec 11, 2017 5:40 pm

bapo! wrote:
Johnny Carwash wrote:Just saying, there's a rumor going around SWF insider circles that Ryan might break out a past alter ego for his next match for luck.

I was hoping for the Gobbledy Gooker, but Turd Ferguson had a nice run back in the day, too. Always good for a nostalgia pop.

Also, I like the specter of DSafe hanging over every Pruitt match. This is long-term storytelling at its finest.


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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - FIRST ROUND MATCHES 13-16

Post by Johnny Carwash » Mon Dec 11, 2017 5:44 pm

bapo! wrote:Also, I like the specter of DSafe hanging over every Pruitt match. This is long-term storytelling at its finest.


The idea was that DSafe would accompany Rush looking for "revenge" after losing to Pruitt in the first round. He slipped a couple folding chairs into the ring but Rush was either too gentlemanly or didn't see them.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by duff » Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:06 am

Sorry for the delay on getting the reports out to the millions and millions watching/reading from home. I was celebrating my stomp of "Turd Ferguson". Maybe he should have worn that silly cowboy hat. And his in-ring action was perfect for the name, because it's funny.

Dick slaps in the corner. Enough said. Boring match. If anyone else was in this match it would have been 1 1/8 stars, but since I was in it, 3 1/2.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by duff » Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:17 am

AB v Johnnie

John showed off some strong power moves and nice kicks to the dick, but AB's time in the coal mines paid off. The Ole Hoss from Kentucky took a licking but kept on beating the shit out of Sergeant America. A nice Somaon backdrop over the top rope and then a couple of hard chair shots put AB in control of the match. After one more tumble outside of the ring, AB took no-selling two power moves from the Airman of ABQ to a new level. End of match. Fun quick match. Nothing to write home about.

3 stars
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by duff » Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:27 am

bapo! v GoodKarma

Not much action tonight ladies and gentlemen. Please see John Carwash for your refund. Hopefully the last match of the night makes it somewhat worth your dime.

Bleh! bapo! got beat by a bitch slap. Should have seen that coming a mile away. The pug head got in the way of GK being able to hit with a chair shot. When a match starts with an immediate pin attempt you know that person is not going to win. Poor showing by bapo!. Really thought the Pittsburgh Princess would show more after his exciting round 1 effort. Guess he can only get it up for sabo.

3/5 stars.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by duff » Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:37 am

Pruitt v Rush2112

Well, not only should all those in attendance be refunded for the atrocious matches, Mr. Carwash needs to pay them to start attending. These matches were worse than anything seen in the Impact Zone! And if you don't know what that means, it is the bad TNA.

Pruitt wins. *insert sarcastic crowd cheer from Hanna Barbera Wacky Racers* I will say this about our Northern Tribe member, he has a really good shot at winning this thing. He has look most impressive. Of course that won't happen because he has to go through me. So I guess his chances are about as good as the Buffalo Bills winning a Super Bowl. Good job Paw Patrol, you beat a the lease sexy librarian ever. *more sarcastic crowd cheers from Wacky Racers*

2.666 stars.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by duff » Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:42 am

One last comment about this last batch of crapfest. How the hell is the entrance of Ryan worth the highlights. Sure it was "funny", but that man is garbage. Pure trash. Don't let your lack of sense of humor realize that it is about the action in the ring and not the "humor" of bringing out comedy spots. The move reeks of Hornswoggle and Santino Marella. Except they actually are funny in the ring.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by Pruitt » Tue Dec 12, 2017 12:47 pm

duff wrote:Pruitt v Rush2112

Well, not only should all those in attendance be refunded for the atrocious matches, Mr. Carwash needs to pay them to start attending. These matches were worse than anything seen in the Impact Zone! And if you don't know what that means, it is the bad TNA.

Pruitt wins. *insert sarcastic crowd cheer from Hanna Barbera Wacky Racers* I will say this about our Northern Tribe member, he has a really good shot at winning this thing. He has look most impressive. Of course that won't happen because he has to go through me. So I guess his chances are about as good as the Buffalo Bills winning a Super Bowl. Good job Paw Patrol, you beat a the lease sexy librarian ever. *more sarcastic crowd cheers from Wacky Racers*

2.666 stars.


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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by Johnny Carwash » Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:13 am

Top Talent (Sabo and DSafe) defend their tag team belt against The Great White North (Pruitt and Degen, dressed as the McKenzie brothers):

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by rass » Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:30 am

I have questions about what happens at around the 3:50 mark (in youtube time, not match counter time).
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by Ryan » Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:31 am

duff wrote:One last comment about this last batch of crapfest. How the hell is the entrance of Ryan worth the highlights. Sure it was "funny", but that man is garbage. Pure trash. Don't let your lack of sense of humor realize that it is about the action in the ring and not the "humor" of bringing out comedy spots. The move reeks of Hornswoggle and Santino Marella. Except they actually are funny in the ring.


It's funny. It's funny because it's ah, bigger than, ah.. [ clears throat ] ..you know, a normal hat.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by duff » Wed Dec 13, 2017 10:07 am

So in SWF, does a count out result in changing of titles? I know in other orgs that is not the case.

sabo and DSG most have been preoccupied with the Alabama Senate race last night. Their performance was worse than Roy Moore. Maybe they should have rode in on their little ponies and waving guns around. What a cheap finish. I hate to see championship matches have cheap finishes. It makes the champs look weak (which they are right now) and the contenders look weak (which these two didn't show much). Matches like these make the tag division in SWF seem worthless. No one is going to care about the tag title if the federation doesn't care about it.

Pruitt sure bleeds a lot. Is that because of the blood thinners the old Cafuck is taking? Pretty sure he is going to die in the middle of the squared circle from a stroke. No man his age should be losing that much blood and exerting energy like he does.

I was glad to see those hosers known as Top Talent get the L.

2.75 stars (only because the Canadian Cousin Fucker and the old guy won)
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by Pruitt » Wed Dec 13, 2017 10:16 am

duff wrote:So in SWF, does a count out result in changing of titles? I know in other orgs that is not the case.

sabo and DSG most have been preoccupied with the Alabama Senate race last night. Their performance was worse than Roy Moore. Maybe they should have rode in on their little ponies and waving guns around. What a cheap finish. I hate to see championship matches have cheap finishes. It makes the champs look weak (which they are right now) and the contenders look weak (which these two didn't show much). Matches like these make the tag division in SWF seem worthless. No one is going to care about the tag title if the federation doesn't care about it.

Pruitt sure bleeds a lot. Is that because of the blood thinners the old Cafuck is taking? Pretty sure he is going to die in the middle of the squared circle from a stroke. No man his age should be losing that much blood and exerting energy like he does.

I was glad to see those hosers known as Top Talent get the L.

2.75 stars (only because the Canadian Cousin Fucker and the old guy won)


Simply put, I am always willing to bleed for my country.

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"Top?" "Talent?" Guess they got tired of winning.

rass wrote:I have questions about what happens at around the 3:50 mark (in youtube time, not match counter time).


Looked like a clean nut shot to me.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by rass » Wed Dec 13, 2017 10:41 am

Pruitt wrote:
rass wrote:I have questions about what happens at around the 3:50 mark (in youtube time, not match counter time).


Looked like a clean nut shot to me.


Yeah, but DSG either completely failed to sell it or has a sack emptier than Santa's on 12/26.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by duff » Wed Dec 13, 2017 11:10 am

rass wrote:
Pruitt wrote:
rass wrote:I have questions about what happens at around the 3:50 mark (in youtube time, not match counter time).


Looked like a clean nut shot to me.


Yeah, but DSG either completely failed to sell it or has a sack emptier than Santa's on 12/26.


Degen cleaned him out with the with the head butts in the corner earlier.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by Johnny Carwash » Wed Dec 13, 2017 11:22 am

Pruitt wrote:Looked like a clean nut shot to me.

Pretty sure that's meant to be just a kick to the inside of the thigh. When there's a proper nut shot the game lets you know with a bell sound and/or the guy grabbing his crotch in pain (see 1:17).

duff wrote:So in SWF, does a count out result in changing of titles? I know in other orgs that is not the case.

Hadn't thought of that. That was also a pretty generous ruling by the ref (a.k.a. me) that Degen beat the 20 count back into the ring.

So do we want to rule that Top Talent keeps their belt until a "real" defeat?
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by duff » Wed Dec 13, 2017 12:26 pm

Those are usually the rules. I think titles should not change hand from the results of a DQ or count out. Unless stipulated before the match.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by Pruitt » Wed Dec 13, 2017 2:15 pm

Image
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by DSafetyGuy » Wed Dec 13, 2017 3:48 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:Hadn't thought of that. That was also a pretty generous ruling by the ref (a.k.a. me) that Degen beat the 20 count back into the ring.


Let me tell you, Kranepool, the commissioner's admission comes as no surprise whatsoever to Top Talent. It's no surprise that Johnny Carbunkle is as poor of an referee as he is a commissioner. The surprise is that he would describe his action with the word generous.

If I were to use a word to describe what happened, I'd probably go with something like "abomination". Or "travesty". A man's arm being under the rope at the count of 20 is not the same as a man being in the ring before the count of 20. On top of that, this alleged official allowed my opponent to throw me out of the ring, then strike me with a chair. Where was the admonishment for such heinous rule-breaking? Nowhere. There is no other possible conclusion to be drawn from this other than there is a conspiracy to take the tag team titles from Top Talent.

Top Talent hereby demands an investigation into Johnny Carbomb and his clear bias against Top Talent. His terrible leadership as the commissioner of the Swamp Wrestling Federation and his brutal incompetence as a referee have clearly turned him into a little smoldering ball of jealousy over Top Talent. What happened, did your lady friend decide she wanted to be with a real man? Does your mommy no longer love you because she's seen what Top Talent can do?

Now, back to the Canadian bacon at hand. Unfortunately for the Great White Dorks, belts do not change hands on count outs. In what world should cheating be rewarded? I don't know how things are done in America's Toque, but clearly, if you think cheating is to be rewarded, you've learned nothing from Don Cherry other than Europeans are soft.

Keep dreaming that you'll get your hands on these belts. They're staying in their rightful place around the waists of Top Talent. Maybe you can petition Johnny Carcrash for your own Canadian version of the belts. They can be made from denim and adorned with loonies so everyone will know they are cheap and worthless, just like your dollar.

And speaking of belts and dollars, you know the rest, Kranepool.
"ONIONS!"

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by bapo! » Wed Dec 13, 2017 5:23 pm

Pruitt, it's all about the chase. The crowd is fully invested in the scrappy Canadian underdogs. We'll cheer you on in every rematch, right up until the moment you win the belts. And then we'll turn on you, go on Internet forums and complain about your stale move-set and unconvincing promos, argue that the company is protecting you and burying more deserving talent, and compare you unfavorably to some indie darling we watched at the local American Legion hall last weekend. In the mean time, enjoy your popularity while it lasts.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 1-4

Post by Pruitt » Wed Dec 13, 2017 5:43 pm

Up here, we don't place much stock in talk of "conspiracies." But obviously, it's the American way. Maybe you should look into having Art Bell manage you.

Up here, we believe that if you are incompetent enough to get hit by a chair, than you have to accept the consequences. And don't go crying foul if you can't count as high as 20.

If you want a rematch, call the Commissioner. But this time, the bout has to be in our backyard. Might I suggest Fannystelle Manitoba? It's home to some of the most rabid tag team fans in the Prairies?

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 5-8

Post by Johnny Carwash » Fri Dec 15, 2017 7:45 am

[spoiler=MATCH RESULTS]sancarlos defeated howard by pin
rass defeated L-Jam by pin
TT2.0 defeated EnochRoot by pin
brian defeated tennbengal by pin[/spoiler]
[spoiler=HIGHLIGHTS]Image
Image
Image
Image[/spoiler]

Match 5 - sancarlos vs. howard


Match 6 - L-Jam (w/Mister D) vs. rass (w/Salma Hayek)



Match 7 - EnochRoot vs. TT2.0



Match 8 - brian vs. tennbengal



[spoiler=UPDATED BRACKET]Image[/spoiler]
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 5-8

Post by rass » Fri Dec 15, 2017 8:03 am

mister d was more hesitant to get involved than me when I see a Swamper at a bar with his family. Meanwhile, great restraint by Salma, not risking a DQ when it was clear that ljam had a giant fork in his back.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 5-8

Post by duff » Fri Dec 15, 2017 9:28 am

Starting out the night was SCK v Howard. The Bay Area import beat the export. SCK impressed with some aerial mat maneuvers that should end the adage that white guys can't jump. Doc did not put up much of an effort. Looks like it may be time to be put out to pasture and hang up the boots. Pretty boring match.

2.25 stars.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SECOND ROUND MATCHES 5-8

Post by duff » Fri Dec 15, 2017 9:37 am

L-Jam v Rass

These two put on an exciting match. LJam sure packs some power, he just needs to harness it now. I was a bit disappointed that Rass didn't pull out more of his running bitch slaps, but he brought out a new an improved tactic. Rass decided to go all Mountain to LJam's Oberyn Martell. I was certain we would be seeing brains splattered across the apron.

I guess Salma didn't need to get involved after getting Harvey off her chest. Now we understand why she put the beat down on D last week. D was a flaccid waste of space.

3.75 stars.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."

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