Swamp Wrestling Federation 2021 - Gunpowder vs. GoodKarma (Featuring BFJ and DSafe on the mic!)

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Dec 17, 2020 11:03 am

"I guess my biggest concern is that Ryan is actually going to have to get up off his ass and step away from those precious maps of his for a few minutes. Because those maps are really outstanding. I hope whoever fills in for him approaches them with the same level of care and attention to detail he does to avoid compromising the end product."

DSafetyGuy · Post by **DSafetyGuy** » Thu Dec 17, 2020 11:14 am

These are tremendous promos because if you don't build up your opponent, you end up fighting a nobody and no one cares who wins.

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Thu Dec 17, 2020 11:29 am

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 7:45 am

MATCH 4 - RYAN VS. MISTER D

Alright, this time it's the battle of Northeast snarkmasters or AL East fandom or whether they really called that guy that name because he lost weight or something! I'll let the trash talk posts above speak for themselves.

Today's match takes place at the approximate halfway neutral site of the Hartford Civic Center, brought to you by Dunkin' Donuts and Carvel!

Down to ringside where BFJ is back with his commentary:

Duff's Review:

[+] spoiler: Match #4, The Snark Smark between Ryan and Mister D.

Zzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzzzz. Oh excuse, I fell asleep. I know we all think the D in Mister D is for Delaware or Dick, but I am pretty sure it is for Danny Davis wannabe. Wearing a ref shirt in the ring when you aren't a ref. Despicable. Go back to OVW Mister D.

Ryan was so unimpressive even the local high school Brain Game squad don't want his stench to associated with them anymore. Go back to hosting trivia games my friend.

Mister D was impressive in the squash, but his competition was so subpar. It was as if he was going against the juggernaut Yankee teams from 1989 and 1990.

Match rating of Alex Trebek's corpse would have put up a better match than Ryan.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 8:32 am

Me making myself read through every last post I missed in the transition thread.

: F32683A2-CDBF-4559-82A0-32CB531B16B7.jpeg (133.73 KiB) Viewed 776 times

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 8:33 am

And thanks carwash and great job BFJ

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 10:52 am

I just had to stop and comment as BFJ said I was hitting Delaware with INEFFECTUAL LEFTS. OK, back to the action.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 10:54 am

[+] spoiler: I'm going to watch this at lunch.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 11:00 am

[+] spoiler: Great match. Enjoy that spinal stenosis later in life. I hate you.

[+] spoiler: "It's great to be back in here in Hartford!" And the wrestlers are the sarcastic ones?

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 11:50 am

Should point out that BFJ correctly identifies the names of moves as they are listed in the game about 90% of the time.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 4:42 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Fri Dec 18, 2020 11:50 am Should point out that BFJ correctly identifies the names of moves as they are listed in the game about 90% of the time.

Proud and ashamed all at once.

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 4:51 pm

Found your new side gig, bfj.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 5:21 pm

I wish! I grew up wanting to be on the radio or being a play by play guy. My dream gig would be an NFL team play by play position. I’ll take my SWF gig though. I miss SL.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 28, 2020 12:39 pm

Quick update, here are the next few matches I have planned:

- chedda vs. Nonlinear
- wlu_lax vs. TBD (if anyone has it out for wlu_lax for some reason, let me know)
- DSafe and Sabo vs. BFJ and TT (Swamp Tag Team Title)
- rass vs. AB (Swamp Title)

Anyone else who's lurking and wants to be involved, let me know.

Will see about getting the next one up within the next few days, announcer schedules permitting.

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Dec 28, 2020 12:58 pm

Anti-referee angle for a wlulax match? TT is already in a match, so maybe pit wlu against brian in a match held here?

GoodKarma · Post by **GoodKarma** » Mon Dec 28, 2020 1:13 pm

No grudges or conflicts with anybody but if you need an opponent for wlu or just another body feel free to use me and my comically-oversized pug head again.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Mon Dec 28, 2020 2:36 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Mon Dec 28, 2020 12:39 pm
- wlu_lax vs. TBD (if anyone has it out for wlu_lax for some reason, let me know)

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Dec 28, 2020 6:00 pm

govmentchedda wrote: ↑Fri Dec 18, 2020 4:51 pm Found your new side gig, bfj.

No offence to the combatants, but BFJ's commentary was the highlight of that match.

"The sarcastic remark" and "the snark" are my new favourite wrestling moves, and one line made me almost spit out my beer: "You don;t have to know north from south to know where those punches are landing."

And...

[+] spoiler: Nice pin Mr. D!

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Mon Dec 28, 2020 7:49 pm

Rass is a fine dude. Would have picked him for a tag team partner to be honest. This is friendly fire.

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Mon Dec 28, 2020 8:11 pm

Just watched the latest batch of matches. Fantastic work, gentlemen. Carwash, Gunpowder, BFJ, and everybody else, thank you for this. BFJ, you have a surprisingly great voice. You sound a lot like Penn Jillette.

Anyone else who's lurking and wants to be involved, let me know.

I would love to, but getting into a fight would be unwise. I'm about 30 pounds overweight and even more emotionally fragile than usual. In wrestling parlance, I've been playing Barry Horowitz to 2020's Ultimate Warrior. Give me a few months to get in shape. I'll start filming a training montage.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Mon Dec 28, 2020 9:11 pm

bapo! wrote: ↑Mon Dec 28, 2020 8:11 pm Just watched the latest batch of matches. Fantastic work, gentlemen. Carwash, Gunpowder, BFJ, and everybody else, thank you for this. BFJ, you have a surprisingly great voice. You sound a lot like Penn Jillette.

Anyone else who's lurking and wants to be involved, let me know.
I would love to, but getting into a fight would be unwise. I'm about 30 pounds overweight and even more emotionally fragile than usual. In wrestling parlance, I've been playing Barry Horowitz to 2020's Ultimate Warrior. Give me a few months to get in shape. I'll start filming a training montage.

I’m shaped like the old Penn Jillette also. Just much shorter. If I’m doing a match with you involved I need to know how to pronounce your name. Is it bay-po or baa-po or bah-po?

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Mon Dec 28, 2020 9:27 pm

bapo! wrote: ↑Mon Dec 28, 2020 8:11 pm I'll start filming a training montage.

I got a pirate copy of the tape of Bapo! in training!

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Mon Dec 28, 2020 9:36 pm

bfj wrote: ↑Mon Dec 28, 2020 9:11 pm Is it bay-po or baa-po or bah-po?

It's BAY-po in my head, but I've met Swampers who have said they pronounced it differently. Like any work of art, I'm open to interpretation. Once I finish typing, I'm in the readers' hands.

Starting filming the training montage. (It looks nothing at all like the clip sancarlos posted above.)

Day one: bapo sits at his computer.

Day two: bapo glances at his stationary bike.

Day three: bapo looks at his bike for three seconds longer than the previous day.

[This is accompanied by either Eminem's 'Lose Yourself' or a Joe Satriani guitar solo]

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Jan 04, 2021 7:45 am

MATCH 5 - GOVMENTCHEDDA VS. NONLINEAR FC

We're back with the battle of two guys who once had Ryan Giggs as their avatars. Bad blood all around!

Today's match is coming to you from the Pensacola Bay Center, brought to you by Hardee's and Red Man Tobacco. chedda may see a slight hometown advantage if any of his peeps make it out to the panhandle.

Down to ringside where Gunpowder is back with his commentary (sorry, no BFJ this time):

Duff's Review:

[+] spoiler: Now onto the Capitol Podium on a pole match. Chedda v Nonlinear FC.

Nonlinear FC was a bit upset over Chedda taking the aforementioned podium. So he challenged Chedda to get it back. It didn't work. NLFC crumpled quicker than a Jim Harbaugh defense. Chedda for his part wasn't much better. With all the hoopla coming into this match, these two underperformed. Maybe it would have been better to bring in the Shaman.

These two get a negative insurrection. Lock these two up and throw away the key.

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Mon Jan 04, 2021 3:34 pm

Bold move scheduling this match opposite the annual January 4 Tokyo Dome show. I didn't think it could compete with Okada/Ospreay, but it turns out that Jim Harbaugh can really go in the ring. Nice work, guys. As always, the commentary is excellent.

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Mon Jan 04, 2021 3:57 pm

[+] spoiler: Wow. Got my ass kicked.[/quote]

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Mon Jan 04, 2021 4:04 pm

bapo! wrote: ↑Mon Jan 04, 2021 3:34 pm Bold move scheduling this match opposite the annual January 4 Tokyo Dome show. I didn't think it could compete with Okada/Ospreay, but it turns out that Jim Harbaugh can really go in the ring. Nice work, guys. As always, the commentary is excellent.

I was in Tokyo doing play by play for that show.

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Mon Jan 04, 2021 4:11 pm

bfj wrote: ↑Mon Jan 04, 2021 4:04 pm
bapo! wrote: ↑Mon Jan 04, 2021 3:34 pm Bold move scheduling this match opposite the annual January 4 Tokyo Dome show. I didn't think it could compete with Okada/Ospreay, but it turns out that Jim Harbaugh can really go in the ring. Nice work, guys. As always, the commentary is excellent.
I was in Tokyo doing play by play for that show.

At the end of the match, I had the distinct impression that I heard Penn Jillette yell 'Rainnnnnmakerrrrrrr!' Now I know why.

DSafetyGuy · Post by **DSafetyGuy** » Mon Jan 04, 2021 4:15 pm

BFJ picking up Don Callis' scraps.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Jan 08, 2021 8:07 am

MATCH 6 - BRIAN VS. WLU_LAX

Second half of our bill from the Pensacola Bay Center features brian vs. wlu_lax, who we can imagine have a beef for some reason.

Down to ringside where Gunpowder is back with his commentary:

Duff's Review:

[+] spoiler: Macth #6. The Speling Be.

Brian and wlu_lx put on a very exciting match. Most unexpected. Of course this was before our expat Swamper decided to head south of the border for some cerveza en la playa. It wasn't the election that put him on this path, it was the loss to wul_lax.

There were quite a few exciting spots. Most impressive was the moves of lax_wlu. Looks like he should be in Mexico with the luchas instead of the MotorSin Aneurysm. These two middle aged men left it all inside the squared circle. Hats off to the two of you. Uwl_xla won with a beautiful Spelchek to put Brian down.

This match gets the Scripps Golden Knights trophy. This was a rare light of hope shining from the SWF. Congrats boys.

wlu_lax6 · Post by **wlu_lax6** » Fri Jan 08, 2021 8:17 am

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Fri Jan 08, 2021 8:07 am MATCH 6 - BRIAN VS. WLU_LAX

Second half of our bill from the Pensacola Bay Center features brian vs. wlu_lax, who we can imagine have a beef for some reason.

Down to ringside where Gunpowder is back with his commentary:

the way that started I was sure the headline was
"two things wlu_lax6 does poorly...spelling and wrastling"

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Fri Jan 08, 2021 9:12 am

The crabs are healing up nicely, thanks for the shout out.
"Puts him in the speculum" was my favorite part of that match.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Jan 08, 2021 9:13 am

bfj wrote: ↑Fri Jan 08, 2021 9:12 am The crabs are healing up nicely, thanks for the shout out.

Explains why you have so much Old Bay on hand.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Fri Jan 08, 2021 9:16 am

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Fri Jan 08, 2021 9:13 am
bfj wrote: ↑Fri Jan 08, 2021 9:12 am The crabs are healing up nicely, thanks for the shout out.
Explains why you have so much Old Bay on hand.

Old Bay on hands means bad times for my wife. Folks, if you are ever going to digitally penetrate your lady, make sure you haven't been peeling shrimp or picking crabs covered in Old Bay. Just a friendly tip, from your old pal BFJ.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Fri Jan 08, 2021 9:16 am

Maybe he should call the matches in Arabic!

Shouldn't Brian be wearing a Luchadores' mask?

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Fri Jan 08, 2021 11:00 am

For some dumb reason, I STILL haven't watched my match. Hopefully I can remedy that later, but on top of normal work, it's the youngest's 7th birthday, and the 14 yo is symptomatic.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Fri Jan 08, 2021 11:05 am

govmentchedda wrote: ↑Fri Jan 08, 2021 11:00 am For some dumb reason, I STILL haven't watched my match. Hopefully I can remedy that later, but on top of normal work, it's the youngest's 7th birthday, and the 14 yo is symptomatic.

Happy bday little one, feel better older one.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Fri Jan 08, 2021 11:10 am

govmentchedda wrote: ↑Fri Jan 08, 2021 11:00 am For some dumb reason, I STILL haven't watched my match. Hopefully I can remedy that later, but on top of normal work, it's the youngest's 7th birthday, and the 14 yo is symptomatic.

Good luck to the 14 year old and also, weirdly, its my youngest's 6th. Maybe a re-listen to Boxer inspired us one year apart.

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Fri Jan 08, 2021 11:11 am

Thanks Fellas, and yes, while I'm here at work for a bit, I think I'll put on Boxer.