Swamp Wrestling Federation 2021 - Gunpowder vs. GoodKarma (Featuring BFJ and DSafe on the mic!)

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 8:32 am

That town IS big enough for both of them.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 8:46 am

The chemistry in the announcer's booth was off the charts.

Proud of Giff for surviving a couple sweet tea shuffles.

TT2.0 · Post by **TT2.0** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 9:06 am

The sweet tea shuffle made me laugh so hard i cried. Also we all knew that was how this was going to end.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 9:24 am

Pruitt wrote: ↑Mon Nov 30, 2020 8:46 am The chemistry in the announcer's booth was off the charts.

Proud of Giff for surviving a couple sweet tea shuffles.

I was really surprised that it worked out so well, given that we just winged it. Wung it?

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 9:25 am

"genuflect"

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 10:30 am

This is amazing.

"Circulation issues in the lower extremities" is more Gorilla Monsoon than anything Gorilla Monsoon actually ever said.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 11:09 am

I'm patenting Red Bull Jorts.

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 11:56 am

That was fantastic.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 12:00 pm

Amazed that TT's hat stayed on during the entire brawl.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 12:04 pm

Especially with the lower gravity

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 12:05 pm

And for a guy listed in the program as being 7'2" and 130 pounds, TT looked pretty buff.

Was he at the Ben Johnson wrestling academy?

DSafetyGuy · Post by **DSafetyGuy** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 1:24 pm

Respect to the double underhook suplexes and the dragon screw leg whip, TT.

Post by **Sabo** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 1:38 pm

DSafetyGuy wrote: ↑Mon Nov 30, 2020 1:24 pm Respect to the double underhook suplexes and the dragon screw leg whip, TT.

Clearly he's been watching New Japan Pro Wrestling.

DSafetyGuy · Post by **DSafetyGuy** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 1:42 pm

Sabo wrote: ↑Mon Nov 30, 2020 1:38 pm
DSafetyGuy wrote: ↑Mon Nov 30, 2020 1:24 pm Respect to the double underhook suplexes and the dragon screw leg whip, TT.
Clearly he's been watching New Japan Pro Wrestling.

Duff Meltzer's review better mention how gassed those two were in the ring. Certainly not Top Talent.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 3:06 pm

FYI, Brian did get to enjoy Torchy's Tacos when he was here a couple years ago for the Lucero show.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Mon Nov 30, 2020 4:09 pm

Gunpowder wrote: ↑Mon Nov 30, 2020 9:24 am
Pruitt wrote: ↑Mon Nov 30, 2020 8:46 am The chemistry in the announcer's booth was off the charts.

Proud of Giff for surviving a couple sweet tea shuffles.
I was really surprised that it worked out so well, given that we just winged it. Wung it?

It was a pleasure to share the booth with you. Anytime you need a wingman, I’ll fly with you Maverick.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Dec 01, 2020 2:28 pm

Here are the signature move names I've come up with so far. Some have a specific move in pace, some are just a name so far.

TT - Sweet Tea Shuffle
Giff - Katy Three-Way
Ryan - Monadnock Spin Cycle
rass - Allegheny Bitch Slap
Brian - Mount Pleasant Mounter
Johnnie - Flying Dependapotamus
wlu_lax - Ful Nelsen Supelx

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Dec 01, 2020 2:29 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Tue Dec 01, 2020 2:28 pmwlu_lax - Ful Nelsen Supelx

❤️❤️❤️

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Tue Dec 01, 2020 2:53 pm

El_Flaco -- Juanbomb

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Tue Dec 01, 2020 2:54 pm

BFJ -- Baltimore Bong Rip

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Tue Dec 01, 2020 3:09 pm

BSF - The Broad Ripple Pothole

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Tue Dec 01, 2020 5:37 pm

Ryan delivers the Live Free AND Die!

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Dec 11, 2020 7:54 am

MATCH 3 - PRUITT VS. SANCARLOS

Back after a hiatus due to some technical issues—it's the Over-50 Championship!

To avoid giving either contestant an undue home-crowd advantage, today's match takes place at McKenzie Arena in fabulous Chattanooga, Tennessee! Brought to you by Krystal Burger, Double Cola, lame old songs about trains, and surprisingly great municipal internet service.

I caught up with the contestants on their way to the ring. First up is Canadian hero Pruitt:

Pruitt wrote: How's it goin', eh? Well, I don't know a-boat you, but I can't believe this organ-eye-zation would require me to fight for the over-50 title instead of just giving it to me oat-right. Now, I got nothing a-gaynst sancarlos personally, but he has no defence when it comes to my moves--Canadian Cutter, Canadian Destroyer, Canadian Backbreaker, Canadian Facebuster--I'm pulling them all out tonight!

I'm ready to go. I just pounded my customary pre-match meal of 12 Labatt Blue stubbies and a cubic metre of Kraft Dinner, and can't wait to pound my customary post-match meal of Shania Twain! But in between, watch me do Canada proud and pin this hoser in the centre of the mat! Oh, and also, fuck Vince Carter!

Pruitt with the classic Canadian politeness and humility. And now for his opponent from south of the border, sancarlos:

sancarlos wrote: Get a load of this tête-carrée talking about "Canadian Pride"...have you checked my last name, bro? My people ruled that country until you Anglo fucks took over and put barbecue sauce on poutine! This so-called "old man" will be yelling at a cloud over your prostrate body within the hour!

You know, this reminds me of the time back in '82 when I went to a Dire Straits concert in Tahoe--this was before they sold out, by the way. My buddies had fixed me up with the cousin of one of their exes, who I didn't really like, but I went along with it. The show was just into the second set with a good haze of pot smoke setting in when the sound of police sirens broke in and we all scattered. Me and this chick whose name I forgot ended up separated from the others and took refuge in the camper shell of an abandoned El Camino for the next 72 hours. And in case you're wondering: yes, we had sex.

Thanks to Grand Junction's best for his always on-point commentary.

BFJ will be flying solo in the mic for this one. Take it away:

Duff's Review:

[+] spoiler: Onto Match #3. The Lemon Party Show Down. Pruitt vs San Carlos.

Okay, now this is what everyone should strive to become in their golden years. These two senior Swampers put on one hell of a show. Who would have thought yelling at clouds and telling young whipper snappers to get off my lawn could be this exciting.

Pruitt can sure take some punishment. Most be from withstanding those terrible Toronto winters. And no disrespect to Pruitt, because he did very well, but San Carlos was robbed. San Carlos put on the most impressive performance of any SWF superstar since the inception of wrestling. Strikes, kicks, high spots and nothing to show for it. Who is booking this shit, San Carlos's wife calling him for dinner?

This match gets a 5:00 PM senior discount at MCL Cafeteria. Now back to the old folk homes and get a nice rubdown of BenGay.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Dec 11, 2020 12:56 pm

Bumping this not to promote myself as much as BFJ's commentary for that last video, which is amazing.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Fri Dec 11, 2020 12:57 pm

That's awesome, Carwash! I'm going to outsource all my posts to you from now on!

Great job on the call, BFJ!

As for Pruitt... Take off, hoser!

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Fri Dec 11, 2020 3:44 pm

BFJ's commentary is priceless - "Five from the northern side," the PornHub reference, and "going to the pretzel factory!"

Fantastic!

Proud to have won - playing a bit of Peterborough Possum near the end. One question - how did San Carlos manage to pull me around by the hair so often?

Oh well, all's well that ends well, glad to have sent San Carlos back to Petticoat Junction.

DSafetyGuy · Post by **DSafetyGuy** » Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:05 pm

Based on his usage of ranas and the Parasdise Lock, I suspect sancarlos spent some time in Japan, playing his trade. It was probably the 1930's.

It also seems Pruitt has learned why you kick below the belt.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:06 pm

Not sure I know what you'd call this move...

: download.png (112.38 KiB) Viewed 556 times

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:11 pm

Technical difficulties kept SL from the booth this week. I welcome him back ASAP. Thanks for the kind words.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:19 pm

Pruitt wrote: ↑Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:06 pm Not sure I know what you'd call this move...

The Third Date ; P

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:33 pm

mister d wrote: ↑Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:19 pm
Pruitt wrote: ↑Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:06 pm Not sure I know what you'd call this move...
The Third Date ; P

"The Anniversary Gift"

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Fri Dec 11, 2020 5:11 pm

The win against the run of play! Excellent work, BFJ.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Dec 11, 2020 6:11 pm

Pruitt wrote: ↑Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:33 pm
mister d wrote: ↑Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:19 pm
Pruitt wrote: ↑Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:06 pm Not sure I know what you'd call this move...
The Third Date ; P
"The Anniversary Gift"

For the over fifty crowd this is more apt.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Dec 11, 2020 6:14 pm

Half Summer of 69

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Fri Dec 11, 2020 10:11 pm

After he executed that move, I felt sapped of energy. Spent, if you will.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Fri Dec 11, 2020 11:09 pm

sancarlos wrote: ↑Fri Dec 11, 2020 10:11 pm After he executed that move, I felt sapped of energy. Spent, if you will.

Maybe we can do a rematch in 3 or 4 days?

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Sat Dec 12, 2020 9:53 am

I don't know, that was probably the best announcing yet. It just flowwwwwwws

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Thu Dec 17, 2020 10:00 am

Next match will be Ryan vs. Mister D in the battle of AL East snarkiness. I'm struggling to come up with the fake trash talk for you guys, so I'll let you do it yourselves here.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Dec 17, 2020 10:20 am

How about: "I hope there's drug testing before the match because New Hampshire is one of the highest dependency states in the country and if Ryan has a problem I'd want him to get the help he needs."

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Thu Dec 17, 2020 10:42 am

"You know, you sit over there and you talk and talk and talk about other people's problems and make assumptions based on where I come from and who I associate with and I really do appreciate it. The holidays are tough."