Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - Giff vs. TT2.0 (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ!)

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SEMIFINALS

Post by Johnny Carwash » Fri Jan 05, 2018 3:28 pm

I think we have a good set of contrasts for our final matchup:
- power vs. finesse
- coal vs. solar energy
- good old red-blooded real 'Murican from the heartland vs. elitist liberal Bay Area glory boy

Planning on next Friday for the final. Taking suggestions for undercard matches.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SEMIFINALS

Post by Pruitt » Fri Jan 05, 2018 3:38 pm

A_B wrote:
Pruitt wrote:
sancarlos wrote:Old guys rule.


A_B is older than me? Surprised he didn't need a walker to get into the ring.


I'm a man! I'm 40! For five more weeks.

I have no idea how old you are.


I am 54. Next year, I'll be wrestling on the Champions tour.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SEMIFINALS

Post by Johnny Carwash » Wed Jan 17, 2018 7:42 am

Final is still coming, later this week or early next. It will be part of an extravaganza with several undercard matches, including some special guests...

In the meantime, last time we heard from TOP TALENT (DSafe and Sabo), they had quit our federation in protest after losing their tag team title in controversial fashion. Here is their first foray under a competing promotion:


[+] spoiler
Iron Sheik wrote:FUCK THE SAFETY D GUY! NOBODY ESCAPE THE CAMEL CLUTCH! IS BULLSHIT!
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Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Johnny Carwash » Fri Jan 19, 2018 7:31 am

Alright, after weeks of anticipation, SWF CHAMPIONSHIP FRIDAY is here! But first, the undercard...

First up is a Celebrity Grudge Match! The Swamp's own The Sybian makes his SWF debut, taking on his longtime nemesis, Chris Christie! The Governor promises to close out his last week in office with a bang, as he squares off against the idealistic young lawyer and moral conscience of the Garden State.

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Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Johnny Carwash » Fri Jan 19, 2018 7:32 am

Next up is another grudge match between a Swamper and a public figure: This time it's Brian vs. Bill Simmons!

That's right, America's #1 sports journalism impresario got wind of our own moderator's long history of vitriol toward him, and has challenged him to settle the score in the ring! We caught up with the Sports Guy in the interview room:
Bill Simmons wrote:Hey, I don't know who this "Brian" is, but last weekend when I was over at Jimmy Kimmel's house ranking Fleetwood Mac albums with Adam Carolla, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Richard Branson, and Michael Rapaport, I all of a sudden hear that this guy in Vegas wants a piece of me! Well, this "Brian" may be from Vegas, but no one knows Vegas better than I do! I bet Brian hasn't even read my 68-point manifesto on things you should never do with your testicles while playing Keno! You know, this whole thing is a perfect analogy for a pastiche of every Cameron Crowe and Aaron Sorkin movie combined, where Gunpowder is Jeff Spicoli, wlu_lax is Colonel Jessup, tennbengal is Russell Hammond, BigFatJew is Rod Tidwell, Rush2112 is the kid from Jerry Maguire, and EnochRoot is Phoebe Cates coming out of the pool! All my crew will be in my corner—Scratch, Weez, K-Bug, Boner, P.J., Stinky, Z-Dog, and the Platypus! The only way I can possibly lose is if Carwash conspires with Roger Goodell and John Skipper to artificially deflate the turnbuckles and blame it on me! Sports Guy, over and out!
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SEMIFINALS

Post by Johnny Carwash » Fri Jan 19, 2018 7:32 am

The penultimate event is for the SWF Tag Team Championship. After falling short in their first try at the title, Perfect 10 (BFJ and TT2.0) return to challenge current holders DANK MEMES (Johnnie and Harambe).

The trash talk is heating up for this one!
BigFatJew wrote:I'm gonna smoke you like something a casual acquaintance slipped into my pocket!
TT2.0 wrote:[censored to comply with FCC regulations]
Johnnie wrote:I'm getting ready to deploy...MY FOOT IN YO ASS!
Harambe wrote:...
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - SEMIFINALS

Post by Johnny Carwash » Fri Jan 19, 2018 7:33 am

For the Main Event, we have a special treat: back by popular demand, Gunpowder will be providing his commentary!

And finally, the inaugural Swamp Wrestling Federation Championship between A_B and sancarlos! The Stade Olympique is rocking, and not just due to the decades of shoddy maintenance!


[+] spoiler
Congratulations to Swamp Wrestling Champion A_B!
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by A_B » Fri Jan 19, 2018 8:48 am

[+] spoiler
WHOOOO! RELIABLE POWER! THAT'S ME!

Really thought I'd given it away and was gonna be too tired to finish it. The pretzel moves took their toll on me, but finally I just had to lay on top of him out of respect for how sancarlos handled his rig.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Johnnie » Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:43 am

Well that was awesome.

Until that bullshit happened.

Harambe can only be defeated by bullets.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Pruitt » Fri Jan 19, 2018 10:49 am

"Turning him into a piece of art on that turnbuckle."

That is Emmy-worthy commentary!
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by The Sybian » Fri Jan 19, 2018 11:44 am

Yeah, suck it Chris Christie!!! That was awesome, such a great avatar for Christie with the pants jacked up. And mine looked exactly like me, down to the ripped physique.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by TT2.0 » Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:19 am

i pinned harambe! holy shit!!! me and bfj are the champs!!! I get to wear a fucking belt and i pinned a fucking gorilla...greatest win ever
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MOTHERFUCKING 2017 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS!!!

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by bfj » Sun Jan 21, 2018 1:04 pm

I will sculpt us some fine championship belts. Covered in vomit.
Enjoy every sandwich.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by The Sybian » Sun Jan 21, 2018 3:47 pm

TT2.0 wrote:
Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:19 am
i pinned harambe! holy shit!!! me and bfj are the champs!!! I get to wear a fucking belt and i pinned a fucking gorilla...greatest win ever
Dude, I repeatedly picked up and slammed Chris Christie. Fuck you and your pinning a dead gorilla. My win was far more satisfying.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by A_B » Thu Mar 22, 2018 11:31 pm

I hereby challenge top talent to a one on two match.
The wife just accidentally called you. “Accidentally”. Sorry

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by BSF21 » Fri Mar 23, 2018 8:55 am

A_B wrote:
Thu Mar 22, 2018 11:31 pm
I hereby...top...a..ne...on...w...atch.
OK weak effort but I had to try.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Johnny Carwash » Wed Nov 18, 2020 2:43 pm

bump...
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by sancarlos » Wed Nov 18, 2020 2:59 pm

I had forgotten what a wrestling stud I am.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian

I never shoulda punched that horse. - AB

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by rass » Wed Nov 18, 2020 3:12 pm

I had forgotten that I let Salma pin mister d.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by TT2.0 » Wed Nov 18, 2020 3:48 pm

if yall hadn't said anything i would have gotten to retire a champ
Gunpowder wrote:you transcend douchedom.
MOTHERFUCKING 2017 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS!!!

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Johnny Carwash » Wed Nov 18, 2020 4:09 pm

So, for an update - I'm planning to start running some matches again soon, and time and COVID permitting, Gunpowder may be able to provide commentary.

Rather than a formal structure, I'll just let you guys call each other out here and see how the matchups form. Take it away.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by A_B » Wed Nov 18, 2020 4:12 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:
Wed Nov 18, 2020 4:09 pm
So, for an update - I'm planning to start running some matches again soon, and time and COVID permitting, Gunpowder may be able to provide commentary.

Rather than a formal structure, I'll just let you guys call each other out here and see how the matchups form. Take it away.
Well, Sancarlos talks a lot for a loser.

Call me an assisted-living facility, cause I'm here for the elder abuse.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Johnny Carwash » Wed Nov 18, 2020 4:50 pm

A_B is the reigning champ after the last tournament, so I'm going to set a rule that someone needs to win at least one match here to challenge him.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Johnny Carwash » Thu Nov 19, 2020 8:34 am

Another bump for any more volunteers/call-outs.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by cerrano » Thu Nov 19, 2020 8:47 am

Steve vs. mister d might need to the headliner, no? The Future of the Democratic Party Championship.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by A_B » Thu Nov 19, 2020 8:57 am

How is there no Bernie Bros. tag team?!?!?
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by cerrano » Thu Nov 19, 2020 8:59 am

A_B wrote:
Thu Nov 19, 2020 8:57 am
How is there no Bernie Bros. tag team?!?!?

Joe K with mister d, who's with Steve?
"i'm just a middle-aged black woman trying to get into the senate."

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by rass » Thu Nov 19, 2020 9:36 am

A_B wrote:
Thu Nov 19, 2020 8:57 am
How is there no Bernie Bros. tag team?!?!?
They'll forgive your debt, but not you.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by DSafetyGuy » Thu Nov 19, 2020 9:47 am

rass wrote:
Thu Nov 19, 2020 9:36 am
A_B wrote:
Thu Nov 19, 2020 8:57 am
How is there no Bernie Bros. tag team?!?!?
They'll forgive your debt, but not you.
VICTORY FOR THE PEOPLE!
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Giff » Thu Nov 19, 2020 10:12 am

The twist is when Joe K shows up with 45.

Image
Muh.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Giff » Thu Nov 19, 2020 10:12 am

You know it's true...
Muh.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by sancarlos » Thu Nov 19, 2020 12:33 pm

Tennbengal vs. psunate?
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by BSF21 » Thu Nov 19, 2020 12:50 pm

I'd say I have beef with EnochRoot still, but I let my career year in Holland speak for me.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by duff » Thu Nov 19, 2020 1:11 pm

BSF21 wrote:
Thu Nov 19, 2020 12:50 pm
I'd say I have beef with EnochRoot still, but I let my career year in Holland speak for me.
I am staking claim to the title of best Hoosier on this site. I am grabbing a switch off the willow tree and walking down the aisle to whup your ass back to Nobletucky. You can claim you are living hard in Fishers or Westfield or wherever the fuck your lily-white ass is living now days. But we all know you are just some no good northern Hamilton County trash eater.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Johnny Carwash » Thu Nov 19, 2020 1:21 pm

duff wrote:
Thu Nov 19, 2020 1:11 pm
BSF21 wrote:
Thu Nov 19, 2020 12:50 pm
I'd say I have beef with EnochRoot still, but I let my career year in Holland speak for me.
I am staking claim to the title of best Hoosier on this site. I am grabbing a switch off the willow tree and walking down the aisle to whup your ass back to Nobletucky. You can claim you are living hard in Fishers or Westfield or wherever the fuck your lily-white ass is living now days. But we all know you are just some no good northern Hamilton County trash eater.
OK, I was kind of frustrated by the lack of a clear call-out up to this point, but I think we have it.

Duff--do you still want to go with your Village People Cop persona from before, or do you have something else?
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by BSF21 » Thu Nov 19, 2020 1:27 pm

duff wrote:
Thu Nov 19, 2020 1:11 pm
BSF21 wrote:
Thu Nov 19, 2020 12:50 pm
I'd say I have beef with EnochRoot still, but I let my career year in Holland speak for me.
I am staking claim to the title of best Hoosier on this site. I am grabbing a switch off the willow tree and walking down the aisle to whup your ass back to Nobletucky. You can claim you are living hard in Fishers or Westfield or wherever the fuck your lily-white ass is living now days. But we all know you are just some no good northern Hamilton County trash eater.
Everybody gather round and come get a look at this fuckin' region rat ass hat. Motherfucker better pick up his Tippecanoe and Portage his way the hell out of here coming in with that weak doughnut county bullshit. Can't even figure out a time zone and he's out here trying to come at me with a willow switch. I'm about to come down hard on your 65 ass with a big Crooked Stick. Indy might be Naptown but you're gonna be lying in the Dunes if you come weak again at the Nora Nightmare son.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Nonlinear FC » Thu Nov 19, 2020 2:06 pm

Peak Hoosier, over here.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Pruitt » Thu Nov 19, 2020 2:33 pm

No one takes my Interim Canadian Inter-Continental Belt from me.

And certainly not some yokel from Alberta. a place where hard lemonade is considered classy, and where no one's read an actual book since the yellow pages went online.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Sabo » Thu Nov 19, 2020 2:38 pm

Pruitt wrote:
Thu Nov 19, 2020 2:33 pm
No one takes my Interim Canadian Inter-Continental Belt from me.
I figured you'd hold the Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title, just like a true Canadian hero.

Image
Mallards rule.

So do cassowaries.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Johnny Carwash » Thu Nov 19, 2020 2:39 pm

Pruitt wrote:
Thu Nov 19, 2020 2:33 pm
No one takes my Interim Canadian Inter-Continental Belt from me.

And certainly not some yokel from Alberta. a place where hard lemonade is considered classy, and where no one's read an actual book since the yellow pages went online.
Canadian belt is vacant, for the record...but that can be Match #2. Neutral site...Montreal? Halifax? Saskatoon?

And does this mean your Mackenzie brothers tag team is on the outs?
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