JOKES

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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EnochRoot
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Re: JOKES

Post by EnochRoot »

bfj wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:34 pm
Ryan wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:29 pm I'm torn here because I don't think the waitress (SERVER!) signs up for all that a comedy club might imply just because she works there but on the other hand I don't care get over it.
If it happens at a diner, that’s horrible and out of line. From a comic on stage at an open mic? Get over it.
Not my job to make you give a fuck about others beyond your nose.
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bfj
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Re: JOKES

Post by bfj »

That’s ok. Spend more time getting offended for everyone else.
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Re: JOKES

Post by bfj »

EnochRoot wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm
bfj wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:34 pm
Ryan wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:29 pm I'm torn here because I don't think the waitress (SERVER!) signs up for all that a comedy club might imply just because she works there but on the other hand I don't care get over it.
If it happens at a diner, that’s horrible and out of line. From a comic on stage at an open mic? Get over it.
Not my job to make you give a fuck about others beyond your nose.
My nose? Is that going back to an old Jewish trope about Jews having big noses? Oh golly, I may faint from the vapors.
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Re: JOKES

Post by Ryan »

See if there are any pennies while you’re down there
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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EnochRoot
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Re: JOKES

Post by EnochRoot »

bfj wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:34 pm
EnochRoot wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm
bfj wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:34 pm
Ryan wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:29 pm I'm torn here because I don't think the waitress (SERVER!) signs up for all that a comedy club might imply just because she works there but on the other hand I don't care get over it.
If it happens at a diner, that’s horrible and out of line. From a comic on stage at an open mic? Get over it.
Not my job to make you give a fuck about others beyond your nose.
My nose? Is that going back to an old Jewish trope about Jews having big noses? Oh golly, I may faint from the vapors.
No, that had nothing to do with any "old Jewish trope". Just a standard idiom, idiot.
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Re: JOKES

Post by bfj »

EnochRoot wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 8:42 pm
bfj wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:34 pm
EnochRoot wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm
bfj wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:34 pm
Ryan wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:29 pm I'm torn here because I don't think the waitress (SERVER!) signs up for all that a comedy club might imply just because she works there but on the other hand I don't care get over it.
If it happens at a diner, that’s horrible and out of line. From a comic on stage at an open mic? Get over it.
Not my job to make you give a fuck about others beyond your nose.
My nose? Is that going back to an old Jewish trope about Jews having big noses? Oh golly, I may faint from the vapors.
No, that had nothing to do with any "old Jewish trope". Just a standard idiom, idiot.
Ah. Name calling. Class act. Just like a guy that would suggest an addict relapse. Improve yourself before you try to improve others. Judgmental douche.
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Re: JOKES

Post by Pruitt »

I agree that as it happened at a comedy club, there are better places to take one's outrage.

I haven't been to one in years, but insults from the stage are - as I recall - part of the show.
"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
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EnochRoot
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Re: JOKES

Post by EnochRoot »

bfj wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 9:19 pm
EnochRoot wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 8:42 pm
bfj wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:34 pm
EnochRoot wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm
bfj wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:34 pm
Ryan wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:29 pm I'm torn here because I don't think the waitress (SERVER!) signs up for all that a comedy club might imply just because she works there but on the other hand I don't care get over it.
If it happens at a diner, that’s horrible and out of line. From a comic on stage at an open mic? Get over it.
Not my job to make you give a fuck about others beyond your nose.
My nose? Is that going back to an old Jewish trope about Jews having big noses? Oh golly, I may faint from the vapors.
No, that had nothing to do with any "old Jewish trope". Just a standard idiom, idiot.
Ah. Name calling. Class act. Just like a guy that would suggest an addict relapse. Improve yourself before you try to improve others. Judgmental douche.
I’d rather be a judgmental douche than a coward who throws victimhood around as a shield. Be better.

And the point of suggesting he relapse was to convey the absurdity of mocking a person for being Asian in front of an audience. She might not have the Ethnic Superhero costume you have under your [sweat]suit.
Last edited by EnochRoot on Wed Nov 27, 2019 9:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: JOKES

Post by rass »

*sweat suit
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Re: JOKES

Post by bfj »

EnochRoot wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm

I’d rather be a judgmental douche
Mission Accomplished

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EnochRoot
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Re: JOKES

Post by EnochRoot »

bfj wrote: Wed Nov 27, 2019 9:57 am
EnochRoot wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm

I’d rather be a judgmental douche
Mission Accomplished

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You're not nearly as clever as you think you are.
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Re: JOKES

Post by bfj »

EnochRoot wrote: Wed Nov 27, 2019 11:38 am
bfj wrote: Wed Nov 27, 2019 9:57 am
EnochRoot wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm

I’d rather be a judgmental douche
Mission Accomplished

Image
You're not nearly as clever as you think you are.

Still 20x funnier than you'll ever be. Keep trying though. Be better.
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EnochRoot
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Re: JOKES

Post by EnochRoot »

bfj wrote: Wed Nov 27, 2019 11:43 am
EnochRoot wrote: Wed Nov 27, 2019 11:38 am
bfj wrote: Wed Nov 27, 2019 9:57 am
EnochRoot wrote: Tue Nov 26, 2019 3:03 pm

I’d rather be a judgmental douche
Mission Accomplished

Image
You're not nearly as clever as you think you are.

Still 20x funnier than you'll ever be. Keep trying though. Be better.
When I stop and think: what if a two-bit fan of alt-right pandering comedy says he's 20x funnier than me?

Who the fuck cares.
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Re: JOKES

Post by bfj »

Clearly you do. Let it go sunshine. This place doesn’t care about your moral judgments.
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Re: JOKES

Post by Giff »

Let me help, bfj. Remember when the cheating Astros made Gary Sanchez drop a ball to allow the game winning run in game 2 of the 2017 ALCS?
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
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Re: JOKES

Post by rass »

After stretching this out over 2 pages, I'd say that if he's anything BFJ is a committed fan of two-bit alt-right pandering comedy.
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Re: JOKES

Post by rass »

And really, alt-right pandering comedy*? Who's crying victimhood now?


*gonna confess I've only seen a smattering of TT's sets, but I assume that if he had gone down that road the rest of you would be either slightly more critical or slightly less supportive?
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Re: JOKES

Post by Pruitt »

Wild - I thought all this talk of Thanksgiving tension was a media construct.
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EnochRoot
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Re: JOKES

Post by EnochRoot »

rass wrote: Wed Nov 27, 2019 12:52 pm And really, alt-right pandering comedy*? Who's crying victimhood now?


*gonna confess I've only seen a smattering of TT's sets, but I assume that if he had gone down that road the rest of you would be either slightly more critical or slightly less supportive?
Aggro-comedy work better for you?

Here's the thing. A guy dragging his lifeless ass onto this board looking for another reason to live, gets one, and then comes back swinging downward at minorities. Oh but the sacred Scroll of Comedy!

The resident Big Fat Jew champions said Scroll. Except that he moves the goalposts to prove his comedy is the bestest (20x, actually) of all time to prove a point.

I'm just curious as to how this shit is encouraged. If this were AOC, and it was Richard Spencer dropping some ill-advised bomb, you'd have SJWs up in arms about it. But because it's some low-rent dive, Asian waitress working in a comedy club, she's fair game to be mocked?

You guys are all pussies. You don't stand for shit. You stand when you think people are watching.
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Re: JOKES

Post by EnochRoot »

And by golly, I thought Big Fat Turkeys could fly.
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Re: JOKES

Post by rass »

Again, is this all just from that one joke?
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Re: JOKES

Post by TT2.0 »

she works the same shift at the same open mic i host every monday and sees the same 30 comedians, 23 of whom make fun of her in ways way less clever than me. She literally giggles at the shit. I just can never remember her fucking name. I will own that it was kinda racist. I also will own that i fucking laughed when i thought of it in my head. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. I personally feel like I have way worse jokes that I get away with.
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Re: JOKES

Post by Pruitt »

rass wrote: Thu Nov 28, 2019 9:46 am Again, is this all just from that one joke?
Afraid so. A joke told in a comedy club.
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Re: JOKES

Post by rass »

Too late now (and impossible to foresee) but Enoch could have waited a couple of days and shamed TT by pointing out he’s digging in the same mine as Jay Leno rather than making the relapse comment. More effective and less controversial?
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Re: JOKES

Post by TT2.0 »

I'm just gonna shutup and go back to the safety and comfort of writing R Kelly jokes
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Re: JOKES

Post by Giff »

TT2.0 wrote: Thu Nov 28, 2019 10:49 pm I'm just gonna shutup and go back to the safety and comfort of writing R Kelly jokes
Don’t let the Astros-hating fuck win!
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Re: JOKES

Post by rass »

TT2.0 wrote: Thu Nov 28, 2019 10:49 pm I'm just gonna shutup and go back to the safety and comfort of writing R Kelly jokes
Done with jokes that piss people off and back to jokes about people that piss on other people.
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Re: JOKES

Post by A_B »

Why do you never see hippopotamuses hiding in trees?
[+] spoiler
Because they're really good at it!
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
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Re: JOKES

Post by Pruitt »

A_B wrote: Wed Jan 15, 2020 9:53 am Why do you never see hippopotamuses hiding in trees?
[+] spoiler
Because they're really good at it!
Reminds me of one of my favourites as a kid -

How does an elephant hide in a bag of M & Ms?
[+] spoiler
He paints his toenails different colours.
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Re: JOKES

Post by The Sybian »

A_B wrote: Wed Jan 15, 2020 9:53 am Why do you never see hippopotamuses hiding in trees?
[+] spoiler
Because they're really good at it!
That's my daughter's favorite joke! That, and TT's joke about the Asian waitress.
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Re: JOKES

Post by bfj »

Was TT's joke (and the ensuing kerfuffle) Enoch's Barbaro moment?
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Re: JOKES

Post by rass »

I noticed that, too. I guess so? He should come back.
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Re: JOKES

Post by bfj »

rass wrote: Fri Jan 17, 2020 3:42 pm I noticed that, too. I guess so? He should come back.
I agree.
He lurks.
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Re: JOKES

Post by rass »

What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo & Juliet?
[+] spoiler
One is a coronavirus. The other is a Verona crisis.
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Re: JOKES

Post by Steve of phpBB »

Heh. That one's going straight into the Dad Joke folder to inflict on my kids.
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.
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Re: JOKES

Post by A_B »

Me: I'm terrified of random letters...

therapist: you are?

me: (screams)

Therapist: Oh I see

Me: (screaming intensifies)
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TT2.0
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Re: JOKES

Post by TT2.0 »

I made a joke that drove someone out of the forum?
#CareerAccomplishments
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Re: JOKES

Post by Pruitt »

Don't blame me for these - friend on Facebook sent them over.

Pick up lines for use during the Covid outbreak...
Is that pneumonia in my lungs or has your smile just left me breathless?
-You Smell So Good, Is That Purell You’re Wearing?
-I’m just a boy, standing 6 feet away from a girl. Asking you to maybe move back another foot. Thanks.
-Are you an N95 mask? Cause I want you on my face.
-Cough here often?
-You can’t spell virus without U and I
I- I saw you from across the bar. Stay there.
-“I really can’t stay” / “Baby it’s COVID-19 outside”
- If COVID-19 doesn’t take you out, can I?
- Do you need toilet paper because I will be your Prince Charmin.
- Hey, I wash my hands when there’s no pandemic too
- Hey Babe! Can I ship you a drink?
- Even during the corona pandemic, the most contagious thing is still your smile.
Is it hot in here or is it just our fevers and shortness of breath?
-One-ply? Two-ply? Neither. The only thing I’m looking for is your re-ply
-Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket, or are you just happy to be within 6 feet of me?
- What if I told you I have **whispers** “60 rolls of ultra-soft toilet paper”
-Since all the public libraries are closed, I’m checking you out instead.
- Are you COVID-19 because if I had you near me I wouldn’t leave the house for two weeks straight
-That mask brings out the beauty in your eyes.
- Wanna get closer than 6 feet?
- Girl, are you down with the sickness? Because oh WAH AH AH AH
- Come on over, I’ll pay your fine if you get stopped”
- Can’t spell quarantine without u r a q t
-“We’re quarantined in the same house, your options are kind of limited.”
Hypothetically speaking, if you were a restaurant who shut down dining-in, would you let me pick you up at the curb? See you tonight?
Can I take you with me and work you from home?
I got a stimulus package that guaranteed to improve your economy.
Our love is like COVID-19. No one saw it coming and we move fast.
Hey baby, you come within 6 feet of here often?
Stay home if you sicc. Come over if you thicc.
Wanna play Coronavirus and get spread on hard surfaces?
Are you looking for a naughty boy? Because I only washed my hands for 19 seconds
Are you coming down with COVID-19? Because I want to flatten your curves.
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Re: JOKES

Post by bfj »

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Re: JOKES

Post by Jerloma »

The Pope walks into a Muslim bar. Bartender says, "Why the wrong faith?"
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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