Swamp Kids in College Thread

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Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by A_B » Thu Sep 13, 2018 9:18 am

This thread has several people that can contribute and more coming in the near future, so why not.

I'll spare the details of the drop off other than to say the clusterfizzle I expected was widely unseen, even on Saturday when most students arrived. Little bit of a backup getting through Cambridge but nothing terrible.

Anyway, daughter seems to be fitting in well. Is trying out some new things (didn't care for lobster on university-wide lobster night, but that was because she decided to try to do the cracking herself and didn't like the innards spilling out) and is in fact an intern for one of the radio shows at the campus station.

Which one, you ask, would a white girl from Kentucky be interning on? Why, the one that plays Kendrick Lamar, OutKast, and Kanye, of course.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Nonlinear FC » Thu Sep 13, 2018 9:27 am

Sweet. Thanks for starting. I'll have plenty to share.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by wlu_lax6 » Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:09 am

I was hoping this was going to be a betting thread for which kid asks for money first, gets arrested first, switches roommates, etc.

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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Nonlinear FC » Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:16 am

We dropped my daughter off at the Univ of Denver last weekend. Her dorm is a 10 story high rise, with a companion tower sharing the lobby/cafeteria on the ground floor. Move in was... a shitshow. One elevator per tower, one stairway per tower.

I mean, I did my thing and found a few shortcuts around the bulk of the crowds in and out of the building, but in general I was pretty shocked at how crazy it was.

If I had it all to do over again I would've insisted we just move in after the crush of people cleared out. But we WERE first in her room, so she got to choose her side of the room, which actually had some different features that she cared about (shelves and a bigger closet.)
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by HaulCitgo » Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:27 am

Is that your only (or youngest) kid AB? If so, hows home going. Kinda wonder how thats going to go over here.

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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Steve of phpBB » Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:28 am

I just got off the phone with my son, who started at the Colorado School of Mines four weeks ago.

He's having a tough time fitting in socially and wants to come home. Argh. I had told him I didn't think he should go that far away to school because it would be too big of a leap. And of course he was doing great, right up until the day after we sent the tuition in (and I waited until the last minute to do it, for exactly that reason).

So now he's stuck, believing (probably accurately) that his roommates and suite-mates don't like him. He is so intense and hyper that people have a hard time being with him for long periods of time. He's always done better interacting with people online. But now he's in the middle of a crowd with nowhere to go.

I'm hoping these are just the normal ups and downs. That's what I'm telling him, anyway. I'm also looking into getting him into a single room, so he has some personal space. I guess otherwise we just have to muddle through the semester, and then if he wants to leave Mines after that, we'll be okay with that.
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.

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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Steve of phpBB » Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:29 am

Nonlinear FC wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:16 am
We dropped my daughter off at the Univ of Denver last weekend. Her dorm is a 10 story high rise, with a companion tower sharing the lobby/cafeteria on the ground floor. Move in was... a shitshow. One elevator per tower, one stairway per tower.

I mean, I did my thing and found a few shortcuts around the bulk of the crowds in and out of the building, but in general I was pretty shocked at how crazy it was.

If I had it all to do over again I would've insisted we just move in after the crush of people cleared out. But we WERE first in her room, so she got to choose her side of the room, which actually had some different features that she cared about (shelves and a bigger closet.)
I have to say, MInes did a great job with the move-in. Though I'm sure it helps that it's a small school with small dorms.
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.

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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Rush2112 » Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:33 am

Isn't Mines super intense? Perhaps getting into the crush of the school year will be good for him?

(and you know, once you climb to get the rock you're in for life.)
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Ryan » Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:36 am

Steve of phpBB wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:29 am
I have to say, MInes did a great job with the move-in. Though I'm sure it helps that it's a small school with small dorms.
And dynamite.

That really sounds sucky for him. I was just a only child who needed some space but still felt overwhelmed with people at times. I lotteried my way into a single for junior year and it was experience-changing.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by The Sybian » Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:37 am

Steve of phpBB wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:28 am
I just got off the phone with my son, who started at the Colorado School of Mines four weeks ago.

He's having a tough time fitting in socially and wants to come home. Argh. I had told him I didn't think he should go that far away to school because it would be too big of a leap. And of course he was doing great, right up until the day after we sent the tuition in (and I waited until the last minute to do it, for exactly that reason).

So now he's stuck, believing (probably accurately) that his roommates and suite-mates don't like him. He is so intense and hyper that people have a hard time being with him for long periods of time. He's always done better interacting with people online. But now he's in the middle of a crowd with nowhere to go.

I'm hoping these are just the normal ups and downs. That's what I'm telling him, anyway. I'm also looking into getting him into a single room, so he has some personal space. I guess otherwise we just have to muddle through the semester, and then if he wants to leave Mines after that, we'll be okay with that.
Oh man, that's rough. Has to be hard not being able to help, but this will be a great growing experience for him. He should see if there is a counselor or therapist at the school he can talk to, some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy might be a great way for him to learn to take a step back and understand how his behaviors effect those around him. Some people have different instinctual reactions or awareness of how their behaviors are impacting others. All of these things can be taught, and could help him better understand how his thought and emotional processes work, and learn to operate in a healthier way. Sorry if this sounds preachy, but I've seen Cognitive Behavioral Therapy have some amazing results.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Pruitt » Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:37 am

Hopefully he'll find a social circle that will make it a better experience.

I know that happened with my son (who lives at home, so it's a different situation).

But after about a month, things clicked nicely for him.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Nonlinear FC » Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:44 am

Steve of phpBB wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:29 am
Nonlinear FC wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:16 am
We dropped my daughter off at the Univ of Denver last weekend. Her dorm is a 10 story high rise, with a companion tower sharing the lobby/cafeteria on the ground floor. Move in was... a shitshow. One elevator per tower, one stairway per tower.

I mean, I did my thing and found a few shortcuts around the bulk of the crowds in and out of the building, but in general I was pretty shocked at how crazy it was.

If I had it all to do over again I would've insisted we just move in after the crush of people cleared out. But we WERE first in her room, so she got to choose her side of the room, which actually had some different features that she cared about (shelves and a bigger closet.)
I have to say, MInes did a great job with the move-in. Though I'm sure it helps that it's a small school with small dorms.

Saw lots of signs for School of Mines and thought about the Swamp.

Yeah, the fact that these are high rises really made things intense.

On a separate note, I was gonna post this later, but The Boy who is a sophomore at Northeastern is home for the semester so he can get his shit together. He found a friend group and was enjoying Boston, but had zero motivation to get his school work done. Being home for the semester is helping to reset his priorities a bit.

So, yeah, it's not always smooth sailing, but remember that nothing these kids do at this stage of the game is and out and out deal breaker for life.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Steve of phpBB » Thu Sep 13, 2018 11:38 am

Thanks, all. Syb, he's talked to counselors off and on for years, but I don't know if they specifically did Cognitive Behavior Therapy. He has a call into the counseling center there, so I will pass that along.
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.

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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by A_B » Thu Sep 13, 2018 11:51 am

HaulCitgo wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:27 am
Is that your only (or youngest) kid AB? If so, hows home going. Kinda wonder how thats going to go over here.
It was my oldest daughter. Also have a high school freshman. Those that have been in Boston for move in day will know that there is no real place to park, so we actually double parked behind a moving truck on comm avenue, got out and said goodbye (hugs and tears! - ALl I could muster was "You got this and I love you") in front of a brownstone someone was moving into. Then we drove up to dorm and basically slow rolled while she got out. (this all happened on saturday after we took her to lunch in North Boston then she had a mixer thing that afternoon and we headed home)

It is different around the house, but not THAT much different from the whole summer, because she was working most nights or with friends, so we didn't see her. And we have texted way more in the past two weeks than we did in the previous year probably! Her relationship with her mom is loads better already.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by DSafetyGuy » Thu Sep 13, 2018 12:46 pm

Steve of phpBB wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:28 am
So now he's stuck, believing (probably accurately) that his roommates and suite-mates don't like him. He is so intense and hyper that people have a hard time being with him for long periods of time. He's always done better interacting with people online. But now he's in the middle of a crowd with nowhere to go.
My first month or so of college, I was hanging out with the first people I met - the ones in the rooms close to mine, including my roommate. Around six weeks in, when it became apparent that we didn't have that much in common, I started to feel a little sad about it and wondered if i should transfer, maybe someplace closer to home. I eventually started hanging with some of the other people on the floor and became friends to this day. (And people once saw me leaving the floor with my roommate late in the first semester and were confused as to why I was hanging out with him - we got along but didn't hang out).

Obviously, there are differences in his case and mine, but time just kind of helped things work out.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by A_B » Thu Sep 13, 2018 12:50 pm

I'd say try to get to know a couple of people in his major classes at first. You know you'll have reasons to hang out and study, at least, then go from there.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Sabo » Thu Sep 13, 2018 1:26 pm

DSafetyGuy wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 12:46 pm
Steve of phpBB wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:28 am
So now he's stuck, believing (probably accurately) that his roommates and suite-mates don't like him. He is so intense and hyper that people have a hard time being with him for long periods of time. He's always done better interacting with people online. But now he's in the middle of a crowd with nowhere to go.
My first month or so of college, I was hanging out with the first people I met - the ones in the rooms close to mine, including my roommate. Around six weeks in, when it became apparent that we didn't have that much in common, I started to feel a little sad about it and wondered if i should transfer, maybe someplace closer to home. I eventually started hanging with some of the other people on the floor and became friends to this day. (And people once saw me leaving the floor with my roommate late in the first semester and were confused as to why I was hanging out with him - we got along but didn't hang out).

Obviously, there are differences in his case and mine, but time just kind of helped things work out.
This is very similar to my first quarter freshman year experience. I got along with my roommates, but none of us had anything in common other than sharing a dorm room. (I remember my roommates first names but couldn't tell you anything else about any of them.) I started hanging out with folks from the other floor, and I also became very active with the student newspaper and yearbook. To this day, I remain good friends with some people who lived on the other floor, and the student activities broadened my social circle immensely.

You just have to get out and do stuff. It probably will take them outside their comfort level, but that's all part of the college experience.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Brontoburglar » Thu Sep 13, 2018 1:34 pm

I was trying to be a good student first semester of college and not take my laptop to class (I did make Dean's list for the only time!)

I soon discovered that I needed a password on my computer because my roommate didn't have one and was using mine to email his brother and didn't have the decency to clear the browser history

he moved out at semester and I had the room to myself for the rest of the year. that was glorious.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Shirley » Thu Sep 13, 2018 1:44 pm

Man, interesting stuff. My oldest is a senior in high school, so this will be us next year. Steve, your story is heartbreaking. We worry about that for my son. I think other kids like him, but as an Asperger's kid, he is completely clueless about how to initiate friendships and conversation. Get him talking, and he's great. But then, you'll walk off to get a meal together or something, and he'll just walk ahead without looking back, because he doesn't think of those sorts of things.

My wife is hoping to get him in somewhere where he can be on the cross country and track team. That will give him a built-in social group. Plus, it will get him out of his room and he loves to run. Unfortunately, while he's a good runner, he's not D1 good, so that limits schools. I think he could walk on at most smaller D1 programs, but I don't know for certain.
Totally Kafkaesque

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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Nonlinear FC » Thu Sep 13, 2018 2:13 pm

I could be totally off, but my IMPRESSION is that the top D3 schools have CC teams that can compete with most D1 schools. Just saying it might be worth expanding the search there, because walking on usually means a pretty disinterested coaching situation. Whereas if he's good enough to walk on at a D1, D3 coaches would probably help with the admissions process and now you have an engaged coach.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Shirley » Thu Sep 13, 2018 2:34 pm

Nonlinear FC wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 2:13 pm
I could be totally off, but my IMPRESSION is that the top D3 schools have CC teams that can compete with most D1 schools. Just saying it might be worth expanding the search there, because walking on usually means a pretty disinterested coaching situation. Whereas if he's good enough to walk on at a D1, D3 coaches would probably help with the admissions process and now you have an engaged coach.
No, there's a pretty big difference between the D3 teams we've looked at and the D1 teams. I mean, the very best D3 runners could probably hang in D1, but the team overall is much less competitive. And the D1 teams we've looked at aren't exactly Oregon and Arkansas (he's interested in Davidson and a few of the Ivies).
Totally Kafkaesque

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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Nonlinear FC » Thu Sep 13, 2018 2:55 pm

Yeah, fair enough, I'd still stick with my point about walking on versus being recruited.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by brian » Thu Sep 13, 2018 3:02 pm

I’ll add that I didn’t really get along with my roommates/suitemates in the dorms but between eventually meeting other dudes on the floor and working at the student newspaper eventually I found a bunch of like-minded people. I hope the same for y’all’s kids.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by brian » Thu Sep 13, 2018 3:04 pm

And I know it’s uncommon these days but I started in a coed dorm and requested to be moved to an all-male dorm and it made all the difference in the world as far as guys fronting.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by The Sybian » Thu Sep 13, 2018 4:27 pm

Sabo wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 1:26 pm


This is very similar to my first quarter freshman year experience. I got along with my roommates, but none of us had anything in common other than sharing a dorm room. (I remember my roommates first names but couldn't tell you anything else about any of them.) I started hanging out with folks from the other floor, and I also became very active with the student newspaper and yearbook. To this day, I remain good friends with some people who lived on the other floor, and the student activities broadened my social circle immensely.
This message reminded me of one of my freshman roommates that I totally forgot lived with us. We had 4 guys crammed into a triple, with one guy told he'd be moved out as soon as a room became available. After 2 weeks, they offered him a single, but he cried and asked us to stay. We let him, since we had the greatest roommate ever. Pei was Chinese, and didn't speak much English. His HS girlfriend lived in another part of the same dorm, and he kept everything except his super high tech computer in her room. We'd go months without seeing him, but he showed us how to play all of the computer games he had, and gave us permission to use it. And when his parents visited, they'd bring us food. We got frequent wrong number calls for "Pete," and learned on the last day of school that his American name was Pete.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Shirley » Thu Sep 13, 2018 4:33 pm

My freshman dorm in college was coed. I lived on the first floor and married a girl from the third. I'm still friends with my freshman roommate as well. But it's crapshoot.
Totally Kafkaesque

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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Giff » Thu Sep 13, 2018 5:24 pm

I'm friends with a lot of people I met in the dorm. My high school girlfriend and I both lived int he same co-ed dorm which made things a tiny bit awkward when we broke up and I started dating another girl in the dorm.

I succeeded in college due to my dorm life; however. I was in a program called Residential College where all freshmen in the dorm chose from the same 2-3 classes for all the pre-req stuff for all majors (history, college math, English, Intro to Poly Sci, etc.) with the intention of us forming study groups with our dormmates and what not, which we absolutely did. A married couple who were history professors lived in the dorm the two years I was there, so we had access to them when needed. I know the program is still going where there's one of the professors for these classes who live on-site for that year. I can't speak highly enough for the college experience it gave me - both socially and academically.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by A_B » Thu Sep 13, 2018 5:28 pm

Daughters floor is coed even. Boys one one side women on the other.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Pruitt » Thu Sep 13, 2018 6:31 pm

Shirley wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 4:33 pm
My freshman dorm in college was coed. I lived on the first floor and married a girl from the third. I'm still friends with my freshman roommate as well. But it's crapshoot.
My first roommate was a meteorology student from China who was maybe 50% fluent in English. It was a floor of hardcore partyers and he didn't have a chance.

Bunk beds! Him on the top. Within a week, he started whacking off in bed.First time I coughed repeatedly, second time, I yawned loudly and made a show of going to get something to read in bed, but the third time, I kicked the fucking top bunk.

I mean, Jesus!

Around Hallowe'en he told me he was moving in with someone he knew off campus. Didn't see much of him after that. 2nd semester, a deadhead who had an off-campus girlfriend moved in. Good times indeed! Those walls probably still smell like weed.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by sancarlos » Thu Sep 13, 2018 7:13 pm

My wife and daughter are leaving for University of Washington in six days, and it kills me that I'm not going on the trip. I'm finally done with training, etc. at the post office, and working full days, walking for miles. They are extremely short-staffed and I was lucky to get to take my family vacation a couple weeks ago, so no way I can get a few more days right now.

It's hard to believe she won't be living here for awhile.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by bfj » Thu Sep 13, 2018 7:33 pm

Philly trip to Drexel was postponed by rain last week. We are rescheduling and want to go see Drexel and West Chester in one day.
Enjoy every sandwich.

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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by mister d » Thu Sep 13, 2018 7:59 pm

Despite the relative proximity, those campuses are about as polar as you can get.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by bfj » Thu Sep 13, 2018 8:11 pm

mister d wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 7:59 pm
Despite the relative proximity, those campuses are about as polar as you can get.
Just trying to give him a look at a few different schools up there he could check out. He mentioned LaSalle also.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Shirley » Fri Sep 14, 2018 9:22 am

A_B wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 5:28 pm
Daughters floor is coed even. Boys one one side women on the other.
My dorm wasn't divided by floors or even sides of floors. I don't think it exactly alternated, but I'm pretty sure we had women on either side of our room. All doubles.
Totally Kafkaesque

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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by mister d » Fri Sep 14, 2018 9:27 am

bfj wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 8:11 pm
mister d wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 7:59 pm
Despite the relative proximity, those campuses are about as polar as you can get.
Just trying to give him a look at a few different schools up there he could check out. He mentioned LaSalle also.
If he seriously considers it, let me know. Its a great school if you're ok with a very specific type of campus.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Nonlinear FC » Fri Sep 14, 2018 9:44 am

The Sybian wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 4:27 pm
Sabo wrote:
Thu Sep 13, 2018 1:26 pm


This is very similar to my first quarter freshman year experience. I got along with my roommates, but none of us had anything in common other than sharing a dorm room. (I remember my roommates first names but couldn't tell you anything else about any of them.) I started hanging out with folks from the other floor, and I also became very active with the student newspaper and yearbook. To this day, I remain good friends with some people who lived on the other floor, and the student activities broadened my social circle immensely.
This message reminded me of one of my freshman roommates that I totally forgot lived with us. We had 4 guys crammed into a triple, with one guy told he'd be moved out as soon as a room became available. After 2 weeks, they offered him a single, but he cried and asked us to stay. We let him, since we had the greatest roommate ever. Pei was Chinese, and didn't speak much English. His HS girlfriend lived in another part of the same dorm, and he kept everything except his super high tech computer in her room. We'd go months without seeing him, but he showed us how to play all of the computer games he had, and gave us permission to use it. And when his parents visited, they'd bring us food. We got frequent wrong number calls for "Pete," and learned on the last day of school that his American name was Pete.

Where I went, 90 percent of students lived off campus after freshmen year. My dorm happened to be the one where they put you if you chose to remain on campus after your first year. Island of misfit toys mixed in with unsuspecting freshmen. I lived in a 3 person suite. My roommate was this Doogie Houser musical prodigy. 14 year old Korean kid who was also like a competitive speed walker? The guy that lived in the single in our unit had hundreds of VCR tapes, including a very deep bench of pornography. He had an incredible sound system and he'd play his porn at really high volume just for laffs. (This was a coed dorm.)

Fucking shitshow, but I actually made some friends on that floor. I already had a good group of friends because of soccer, which took most of the pressure off of the dorm experience.
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A_B
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by A_B » Fri Sep 14, 2018 12:39 pm

AND...she's going to write for the student paper, too.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by The Sybian » Fri Sep 14, 2018 12:58 pm

A_B wrote:
Fri Sep 14, 2018 12:39 pm
AND...she's going to write for the student paper, too.
And you are going to allow her to become an enemy of the people? Good on her for becoming so involved so quickly.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by brian » Fri Sep 14, 2018 1:36 pm

A_B wrote:
Fri Sep 14, 2018 12:39 pm
AND...she's going to write for the student paper, too.
Good for her. People who write for their student paper turn out better than normies.
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Re: Swamp Kids in College Thread

Post by Pruitt » Fri Sep 14, 2018 1:45 pm

brian wrote:
Fri Sep 14, 2018 1:36 pm
A_B wrote:
Fri Sep 14, 2018 12:39 pm
AND...she's going to write for the student paper, too.
Good for her. People who write for their student paper turn out better than normies.
Many of my best memories of university involved working at the student papers and the radio station. There's a real sense of camaraderie at these places. Your daughter should have a great time.
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