Swamp RimWorld 2019

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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duff
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by duff »

Nonlinear FC wrote: Fri Nov 23, 2018 12:13 pm High five duff!

Welcome to the newly formed Man Meat Club (Sandwich) Club.
Where's the chianti?
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by duff »

What story teller do you use and what level? Seems like Randy.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by A_B »

brian wrote: Fri Nov 23, 2018 12:16 pm To be fair, whom among us hasn't...
BFJ smokes too much pot and passes out on the dining room floor in front of some visiting guests. Pruitt hauls him to bed and he is OK for now.
Not me. Opioids or bust.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by sancarlos »

Pruitt wrote: Fri Nov 23, 2018 12:16 pm Dibs on Ololnosa!
Is the same woman who worked for Trump? Wish she'd have abused him like she abused Rass.


Yes, I know that was Omarosa.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

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brian wrote: Fri Nov 23, 2018 12:16 pm To be fair, whom among us hasn't...
BFJ smokes too much pot and passes out on the dining room floor in front of some visiting guests. Pruitt hauls him to bed and he is OK for now.
Basically a recap of Thanksgiving for me.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Johnny Carwash »

duff wrote: Fri Nov 23, 2018 12:19 pm What story teller do you use and what level? Seems like Randy.
Yes, it's Randy. IMO the "unpredictable" nature works best for what we're doing here.
[+] spoiler
I change the difficulty level occasionally if things are getting too boring, but don't tell anyone.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Pruitt »

sancarlos wrote: Fri Nov 23, 2018 3:16 pm
Pruitt wrote: Fri Nov 23, 2018 12:16 pm Dibs on Ololnosa!
Is the same woman who worked for Trump? Wish she'd have abused him like she abused Rass.


Yes, I know that was Omarosa.
I like my women sassy!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by rass »

Bengal’s return is going to go a lot like this:



ETA: he’s McBride in this scenario, in case the video title didn’t make my intention clear
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Johnny Carwash »

So, the good news is that we won't have to worry about Bengal being subjected to unspeakable abuses at the hands of his captors. The bad news that it's because he died of his wounds en route to the raider camp.

The cold snap has killed off all our crops, leading us to subsist on whatever meat we can find in the area. Fortunately for Nonlinear and Duff, that includes the raiders we killed in the last attack:

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Despite the cold, lack of food, and rampant cannibalism going on, BFJ spontaneously decides to throw a party, leading to some interesting interactions:

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Johnny Carwash »

The cold snap finally passes, and the temperature returns to a point where we can once again grow crops.

rass comes down with food poisoning and collapses. He is carried to a hospital bed, where he remains immobile while recovering.

It will take a while before the harvest, so in the meantime we'll still need to rely on hunting. A herd of "muffaloes," which you may remember from before, has fortuitously wandered into our vicinity, offering an ample source of meat. According to their description, they have a 2% chance of fighting back when attacked. Should be an acceptable risk, right?

Maybe not. Nonlinear successfully kills a few, but when duff shoots one from another group, it turns and charges—but not just by itself; here comes the whole herd! Duff is quickly overrun and drops unconscious with a multitude of broken bones.

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But that's not enough for the muffaloes, who are heading straight for our base. We gather inside the main building, but the muffaloes bash down the door. We put up a fight but before long everyone lies on the floor in a bloody heap—except for the ailing rass, who the muffaloes either left alone in his bed out of a principled sense of honor or just didn't see.

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Just when it looks like our luck has run out, a new arrival appears on the horizon. Look, it's longtime Swamp favorite Jerloma!

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Jerloma spent his childhood searching through junk mounds for valuables. He grew up to be a chemist, but was banished to a remote planet after being caught doing unethical "Island of Dr. Moreau"-type experiments. He has good crafting and intellectual skills, but is incapable of empathy or cleaning up after himself.

So, maybe any hope was short-lived, as Jerloma happened to arrive straight into the path of the rampaging muffalo herd. He tries to run but is quickly overcome and beaten into the ground.

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Back at the base, everyone is somehow still alive but in a dire state. Nonlinear and chedda manage to climb to their feet and fire a few more shots at the muffaloes, but are both quickly downed again. Pruitt, who had his left leg torn off, dies of blood loss. BFJ, with a particularly bad wound to the torso, isn't much better off. rass is still fine in his bed, though.

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Just when it looks like the end for us, we get a remarkable stroke of luck. Several of the muffaloes finally collapse from their wounds, and the remainder decide to move on. Slowly, a few colonists climb to their feet and set about attempting the first steps to recovery. Oh yeah, and rass is fine now, presumably asking if anything interesting happened while he was sleeping.

We get another new joiner in "Shary"—who is rass's mom! Hey, at least she's not attacking us *cough* duff *cough*. Shary appears chased by an angry tribesman, who we quickly dispatch. Back to work on the daunting task of getting everyone patched up. On the bright side, at least we have a nice sanitary environment to work with.

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Unfortunately, the aid comes too late for BFJ, who develops an infection from his wounds and dies. In memoriam, here is a rundown of his final works, which have no doubt just skyrocketed in value:

- chedda fighting off an invading force with a sickle while raising a fist in defiance.
- Two eggplants.
- chedda serving himself a drink and laughing.
- rass introducing chedda to a friend and laughing.
- Two doctors and surgeons eating bell peppers together.

Stay tuned...
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tennbengal
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by tennbengal »

This iteration of this game fits right at home in 2018. What a shit show. Stupid muffaloes.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by rass »

Don't think I haven't noticed that the duff family is responsible for all three deaths so far.

And Pruitt died on his birthday. :(
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by duff »

I just wanted some tasty jews to eat.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by govmentchedda »

- chedda fighting off an invading force with a sickle while raising a fist in defiance.
- Two eggplants.
- chedda serving himself a drink and laughing.
- rass introducing chedda to a friend and laughing.
- Two doctors and surgeons eating bell peppers together.
Too real.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by rass »

I googled "muffaloes" and just watched a video where 100 ostriches kicked the asses of 100 muffaloes (and then proceeded to have what I think was an ostrich orgy) so maybe we should have gone with the ostrich over the ground sloth.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Pruitt »

rass wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:00 am Don't think I haven't noticed that the duff family is responsible for all three deaths so far.

And Pruitt died on his birthday. :(
At least I got to see the Bills and the Browns win on the same day.

Godspeed my friends.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Johnny Carwash »

rass wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:00 am Don't think I haven't noticed that the duff family is responsible for all three deaths so far.
Was going to say that if you think duff's behavior seems suspicious so far...wait.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Johnny Carwash »

So in the wake of muffalo attacks, several colonist deaths, food shortages, and an abysmal hygienic situation, some of those remaining are pushed to the brink of their sanity.

Here's something I hadn't seen before: rass's mom, Shary, breaks down and digs up EnochRoot's dessicated corpse from its grave, carrying it to the dining room. Fortunately, we get some proper food ready before she resorts to eating him, however, this does not create a particularly good impression when another faction stops by for a visit shortly thereafter.

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Other thing I hadn't seen before: duff, apparently fed up with civilization, spontaneously decides to leave the colony and go feral, hovering around the vicinity with the other wild animals.

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Johnny Carwash »

After an emergency cleaning detail and the food situation destabilizing, things begin to return to somewhat normal, a remarkable recovery considering how dire the outlook was just a short while earlier.

duff remains wandering in the vicinity of the base, romping among the wildlife. Nonlinear moves to apprehend them but duff fights back and Nonlinear has to beat him unconscious with his rifle butt. duff loses his left ring finger and right little toe in the process. He is dragged back to the base and locked inside his room, where after a few days we are able to successfully re-recruit him.

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The rest of the spring passes mostly without incident. Early in the summer a pack of mad monkeys wanders into the area and we make quick work of them, but not without escaping injury. Jerloma gets the worst of it, suffering 15 wounds from monkey bites and punches. This doesn't seem to dampen his mood too much, though:

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Johnny Carwash »

A few days later, we get another refugee. Don't get nostalgic, but it's longtime Swamper bapo!

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bapo! spent his childhood a part of a secret government project whose details still remain highly classified. Nonetheless, he went on to become a successful trader. He is a pessimist and highly neurotic. His alcohol tolerance is described as "large."

Hot on bapo's tail are a group of raiders from the Armadillos of Torment. There are five this time, the biggest group we've faced so far. They are also apparently interested in backgammon, underscoring that they are weirdos who deserve to die.

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We take cover behind a row of rocks and unload on the raiders as they approach, dropping a couple of them quickly. One raider manages to reach our position but rass's mom Shary unleashes our pet pig, alpaca, and ibex, who trample him to death as the others flee. Welcome bapo!

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by tennbengal »

Carwash, my day is already 100% better because of this. Thanks again, for the effort and doing these.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by rass »

Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the ibex of war!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by rass »

tennbengal wrote: Thu Nov 29, 2018 8:18 am Carwash, my day is already 100% better because of this. Thanks again, for the effort and doing these.
Yeah, but how much did yesterday suck?
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by tennbengal »

rass wrote: Thu Nov 29, 2018 8:33 am
tennbengal wrote: Thu Nov 29, 2018 8:18 am Carwash, my day is already 100% better because of this. Thanks again, for the effort and doing these.
Yeah, but how much did yesterday suck?
It sucked hard. No update and I drove 565 miles round trip to the middle of west virginia and back for work.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by bapo! »

Johnny Carwash wrote: Thu Nov 29, 2018 7:48 am A few days later, we get another refugee. Don't get nostalgic, but it's longtime Swamper bapo!
Boy, am I glad to see you guys. In addition to getting chased by those backgammon freaks, I haven't had any beer in two days, and I've been dying to talk about that Jets/Rams game from 1983. Is this a Gastineau group, or more of a Dickerson group? I want to know if I'll fit in.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by duff »

bapo! wrote: Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:27 pm
Johnny Carwash wrote: Thu Nov 29, 2018 7:48 am A few days later, we get another refugee. Don't get nostalgic, but it's longtime Swamper bapo!
Boy, am I glad to see you guys. In addition to getting chased by those backgammon freaks, I haven't had any beer in two days, and I've been dying to talk about that Jets/Rams game from 1983. Is this a Gastineau group, or more of a Dickerson group? I want to know if I'll fit in.
Watch out my friend, that purple hair sure makes you tasty looking. ;)
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Wow, so it looks like all I have to do is put a long-lost Swamper in the game and they magically reappear here. That wields some serious power.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by bapo! »

duff wrote: Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:39 pm
bapo! wrote: Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:27 pm
Johnny Carwash wrote: Thu Nov 29, 2018 7:48 am A few days later, we get another refugee. Don't get nostalgic, but it's longtime Swamper bapo!
Boy, am I glad to see you guys. In addition to getting chased by those backgammon freaks, I haven't had any beer in two days, and I've been dying to talk about that Jets/Rams game from 1983. Is this a Gastineau group, or more of a Dickerson group? I want to know if I'll fit in.
Watch out my friend, that purple hair sure makes you tasty looking. ;)
You know, the WiFi here is kinda spotty. Perhaps I'll keep wandering. Take care.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by A_B »

rass wrote: Thu Nov 29, 2018 8:31 am Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the ibex of war!
I love this.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by bapo! »

Johnny Carwash wrote: Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:48 pmThat wields some serious power.
Use it for good. Or evil. Hey, whatever.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Johnny Carwash »

In the aftermath of bapo's arrival and the ensuing fight with raiders, things return to normal.

Duff "offers a backhanded compliment" about rass's family and they fight! It ends as you might have come to expect (reverse chronological order):
[+] spoiler
A bruise caused rass to collapse in exhaustion.
Duff slammed rass in the left shoulder.
Rass bit duff with his teeth.
Duff bashed rass with his left fist, clobbering his torso and ribcage brutally.
Duff tried to use his powerful head to slam rass, but missed.
Rass clobbered duff in the left leg, knocking him to the side.
Duff gnawed rass in the left shoulder.
Rass slammed duff with his head.
Duff clobbered rass in the torso heartlessly.
Rass tripped while trying to slam duff.
Both are taken to the hospital to recover. Later that night, a mad wild boar breaks into the hospital. Duff shoots it dead while rass remains in bed.

Image

But maybe duff has some plans in store for rass...

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Word must have gotten out that our colony was the prime spot to flee from homicidal raiders, as soon enough we get yet another refugee. It's kranepool!

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kranepool was a musical prodigy in his youth and as an adult developed an obsession with collecting old machinery. Both of these stunted his social skills; according to his description, "He had a habit of talking about his collection long after people around him had stopped listening." Despite this odd background, he has solid combat skills and an unexpectedly upbeat temperament.

But here come kranepool's pursuers. Again it's the Armadillos of Torment, eight of them this time, and even more heavily armed, including what appears to be a fat Russian guy and Cheech Marin with a grenade launcher. This may be more than we can handle. Fuck kranepool.

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We spring into our defensive positions, bringing our gaggle of attack animals along as the firefight erupts. Grenade launcher guy fires off a round but it fortuitously sails over our heads. After a short but intense fight, we prevail, dropping the majority of the attackers and causing the rest to flee. We have a few wounded, including chedda who loses his right kidney, but none life-threatening. OK, so maybe kranepool won't be the end of us.

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Oh shit. bapo's alcohol withdrawal causes him to have a mental break, and he begins senselessly killing animals in our livestock pen. First the ibex, then a domesticated rat, then our pet pig Tom-Tom. What the fuck, bapo?

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After his animal murder spree, bapo calms down and appears to have gotten past his withdrawal problems. Or not:

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Look how oblivious kranepool looks here:

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kranepool soon realizes bapo's intentions and flees frantically through the base. We put together a quick detail of duff, chedda, and Nonlinear who corner bapo and beat him unconscious. The beating appears to have restored bapo's sanity for the moment, but can we really count on that to last at this point?

Image

Stay tuned...
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by Gunpowder »

Why are we mad at bapo for sensibly trying to murder kranepool?
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by rass »

Based on that last screencap I've figured out why "chedda" has been wearing that silly hat as much as possible: to disguise the fact that he's actually beloved late-night funnyman Conan O'Brien.

Rass bit duff with his teeth.
That's the most effective way to bite.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018

Post by rass »

Gunpowder wrote: Fri Nov 30, 2018 8:07 am Why are we mad at bapo for sensibly trying to murder kranepool?
Not worth the rat, Tom-Tom and the ibex.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018: Poll - Banishment?

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Went ahead and put up a new poll regarding bapo's transgressions. We have the option to "banish" a person from the colony, though I can't remember having done it before and am not sure what the repercussions would be.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2018: Poll - Banishment?

Post by rass »

Can we just trade duff for some beer?
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