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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Colony Pet

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 11:44 am
by A_B
It's from Billy Shakes, too, so that's why it's a popular saying.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Colony Pet

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 12:37 pm
by Nonlinear FC
Because I'm a nerd, I looked it up... It predates Bill, and the main point is just to reinforce house with home... alliteration or some such bullshit. (But Shakespeare certainly popularized the saying, to be sure.)

I find the explanation lame. I like my definition better. I'm going to spend the weekend dividing up my domicile arbitrarily and insisting everyone refers to different sections accordingly.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Colony Pet

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:19 pm
by Johnny Carwash
Sorry for the delay, should have the first update Monday.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Who dies first?

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:39 am
by Johnny Carwash
Alright, time to get underway with Swampville VII. A few quick notes:
  • Forgot to put up the "who dies first?" poll earlier. It's up now.
  • Going to bump up the difficulty a bit from the last playthrough, where I had let things play out more safely at first while getting reacclimated to the game. Taking it up a notch should result in "interesting" things happening earlier on.
  • After some tinkering around, I was able to figure out how to get the sports logos on caps/clothing to appear in the actual game. No sign yet as to whether this will make everyone hate BSF.
  • For some variety I added a mod that puts painting in the game, which works similar to sculpture-making along with all the gloriously bizarre subject descriptions. BSF or Sabo, with their higher Art skill, will be our designated painter.
For the sake of continuity we'll use the same planet as before. After voting on Arid Shrubland, we'll be landing in a region along the southern edge of the continent called the Gray Guinea Pig Scrubland. I selected a spot (see the small hexagon) a ways inland, not too far from a river and a road, and relatively distant from any overly hostile faction bases. The heat and lack of vegetation will be challenges, but it's still not an outright desert and should be survivable if we manage things right.

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Here are the new factions we'll be sharing the world with. The Gray Porcupines look like the ones we'll have to look out for. I guess they're pissed that the region was named after another gray small mammal.

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Here's a high-level view of the area. Doesn't look overly welcoming, but we can still grow crops on all the non-sand areas, and we at least have open room to build.

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Who dies first?

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:40 am
by Johnny Carwash
And here we are right after landing. Our pet elephant has been named Atom. Nice ice-breaker by the way, Johnnie.

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We set about the essential steps of building a base, laying down a basic barracks, farms, and storage area. Wood will be scarce due to the lack of trees in the area, so we'll build our structures out of stone this time, which is more labor-intensive, but also more durable and fireproof.

Our first threatening event is a psychic pulse emanating from space that causes all males in the vicinity to experience a spike in mental pain. I guess the broadcast signal for The View reaches out this far. wlu_lax has a minor breakdown and wanders around in a daze for a while, but recovers soon after.

A local ostrich goes mad and attacks the base, but brave troop Johnnie downs it before it can harm anyone else, suffering a few minor scrapes.

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So far we've been living electricity-free, so it's time to get a power source going. We start work on a wind turbine to generate some clean, environmentally-conscious energy, but AB "botches" the construction. Sabotage?

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Who dies first?

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:41 am
by Johnny Carwash
A meteorite made of silver ore crashes in the vicinity. Since silver is the primary form of currency in the game, we're basically getting a shitload of free money from outer space. Thanks, game! On the other hand, loading up our base with the extracted silver will attract more raiders, so better to treat it as a reserve for now.

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wlu_lax's bed, along with wlu_lax himself, somehow catch on fire, which Johnnie seems to find amusing. wlu_lax is able to extinguish himself, suffering only minor burns.

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We get our first couple of enemy raids, but they're just one lightly-armed attacker at a time and we dispatch them easily.

A male elephant self-tames and joins the colony. Will Atom like this, or feel threatened?

So here's how things are shaping up so far. We've expanded the base a little to make room for some workshops for advanced crafting, and after researching some advanced technology, have some solar panels and wind turbines to get a power grid going. Things seem to be going decently so far, but we haven't had a major crisis...yet.

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Stay tuned...

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Who dies first?

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:07 am
by rass
johnnie wrote:The way I see it, mammals are mammals and if you can fuck one mammal you can fuck them all. But birds... only a sick piece of shit would find a bird attractive.
sabo wrote:Image

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Who dies first?

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:44 am
by wlu_lax6
wlu_lax's bed, along with wlu_lax himself, somehow catch on fire
that is what "Mrs. Lax says too"

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Who dies first?

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:58 am
by A_B
wlu_lax6 wrote: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:44 am
wlu_lax's bed, along with wlu_lax himself, somehow catch on fire
that is what "Mrs. Lax says too"
Makes me feel confident in my vote!

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Who dies first?

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 9:04 am
by mister d
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Are we ignoring whatever happened with AB's ass?

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Who dies first?

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 9:35 am
by wlu_lax6
A_B wrote: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:58 am
wlu_lax6 wrote: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:44 am
wlu_lax's bed, along with wlu_lax himself, somehow catch on fire
that is what "Mrs. Lax says too"
Makes me feel confident in my vote!
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Who dies first?

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 9:37 am
by wlu_lax6
The question is can every death in this iteration be covered by Spinal tap...feels like this may be in play too
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Who dies first?

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 9:57 am
by Gunpowder
Never trust a self-tamed elephant.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Who dies first?

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 10:37 am
by EnochRoot
Gunpowder wrote: Mon Jan 14, 2019 9:57 am Never trust a self-tamed elephant.
Elephants require inordinate amounts of bonding. If you don’t read that guy bedtime stories, he’s going to come snuggle up next to campers. Death by spooning.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Who dies first?

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 11:55 am
by Johnny Carwash
rass wrote: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:07 am
johnnie wrote:The way I see it, mammals are mammals and if you can fuck one mammal you can fuck them all. But birds... only a sick piece of shit would find a bird attractive.
wlu_lax6 wrote: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:44 am
wlu_lax's bed, along with wlu_lax himself, somehow catch on fire
that is what "Mrs. Lax says too"
Both of these made me laugh, by the way.

Also, on the Johnnie thing I spent a solid five seconds thinking it was something Johnnie had actually posted here and preparing to search for the thread.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019 + Poll: Who dies first?

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 10:34 pm
by Johnnie
Johnny Carwash wrote: Mon Jan 14, 2019 11:55 amAlso, on the Johnnie thing I spent a solid five seconds thinking it was something Johnnie had actually posted here and preparing to search for the thread.
Honestly, me too.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Herbalist & the Space Gigolo

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 7:47 am
by Johnny Carwash
Looks like wlu_lax is the winner of the "Who dies first?" poll. Geez, you catch on fire for no apparent reason one time and people think you're a dead man walking.

Alright, a few mostly eventful days pass and we've kept busy, steadily getting a livable base going with a decent food surplus.

A transport pod plunges from space and crashes nearby. Looks like there is a survivor, but he's badly injured. Hey look, it's DSafetyGuy!

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DSafetyGuy was a minor noble on a medieval world. As an adult he became a herbalist, living in the forest and selling his remedies to nearby villagers, though they never really trusted him. He is neurotic and insists on having the most lavish living quarters possible.

Due to some quirks in the game mechanics, the only way we can guarantee DSafe joins our colony is to take him prisoner. Sabo carries him off to a spare room, where he's sure to be impressed by the accommodations:

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Sabo will nurse DSafe back to health while attempting to recruit him.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Herbalist & the Space Gigolo

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 7:48 am
by Johnny Carwash
Not too long after, we get another arrival. It's sancarlos, pursued by raiders from the Independent Alliance of Orerabutlium. We'll temporarily lift our ban on bandwagon Warriors fans and offer him safety.

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I'll go ahead let sancarlos's in-game backstory speak for itself:

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And here come the raiders, Frankie and Inga, well-armed with automatic pistols.

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We exchange some potshots from a distance, but it's not getting us anywhere, so I send Sabo, brian, and AB to make a daring flanking maneuver. Sabo smashes Inga in the torso with a stone club, killing her instantly, but as she falls she squeezes off a round that hits Johnnie in the chest and he crumples to the ground incapacitated. Frankie turns to run but AB plugs him in the back with a shotgun blast. By the way, our elephant Atom is still in the process of being trained to attack, so right now he's just calmly wandering in the vicinity of a raging gunfight.

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Johnnie is in rough shape but will survive.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Herbalist & the Space Gigolo

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 7:48 am
by Johnny Carwash
The next day a caravan of slave traders stops by and offers us $697 for DSafetyGuy, but we turn it down. See, we're not that bad.

DSafe finally joins us after Sabo makes him an offer he can't refuse. Way to close the deal, Sabo!

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In addition to our new colonists, we get a mini-surge of new pets. A female rhino self-tames and we name her Josephine. wlu_lax "nuzzles" the second elephant who had joined earlier and names it Jack. Should give us some heavy hitting power once we train them all up to attack.

With some down time, Sabo is free to take up the easel and create his first painting, which depicts a squid eating a corn cob. Its quality is described as "poor."

A couple of crazed man-hunting deer appear and rush straight for our base. The first one heads toward sancarlos, who gets off a few rounds but the deer closes the distance and kicks him in the face, crushing his right eye socket.
[+] Actual in-game footage
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You knew it was going to be this, right?
Sabo rushes over to sancarlos's aid, and the two of them manage to beat the deer to death after a vicious struggle.

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Johnnie and AB bring down the second deer. Along with sancarlos, AB and Sabo are dinged up, but all look to make a full recovery.

Stay tuned...

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Herbalist & the Space Gigolo

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 8:19 am
by A_B
Wait, am I wearing glasses or do I need to shave my eyes?

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Herbalist & the Space Gigolo

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 8:21 am
by Sabo
Safe to say our new tag team will be called Fresh Artichokes.

Oh, and I abhor painting, so it’s no surprise my first effort with the easel is considered poor.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Herbalist & the Space Gigolo

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 8:37 am
by Pruitt
Johnny Carwash wrote: Wed Jan 16, 2019 7:47 am
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DSafetyGuy was a minor noble on a medieval world. As an adult he became a herbalist, living in the forest and selling his remedies to nearby villagers, though they never really trusted him.
They wrote a book about his adventures...

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Herbalist & the Space Gigolo

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:43 am
by DSafetyGuy
I like my tie.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Herbalist & the Space Gigolo

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 12:22 pm
by sancarlos
Very happy to honor you guys with my cooking, melee, and shooting skillz. And, of course, my sexiness. if any alien leaders from, say, Alderaan, need to be seduced and abandoned, well, I'm your guy.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Herbalist & the Space Gigolo

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 12:33 pm
by Johnny Carwash
sancarlos wrote: Wed Jan 16, 2019 12:22 pm if any alien leaders from, say, Alderaan, need to be seduced and abandoned, well, I'm your guy.
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Herbalist & the Space Gigolo

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 12:34 pm
by Johnny Carwash
A_B wrote: Wed Jan 16, 2019 8:19 am Wait, am I wearing glasses or do I need to shave my eyes?
There was another transport pod crash earlier but its occupant was a pirate so we let her die and then you took her sunglasses.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Battle of Delaware

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2019 7:36 am
by Johnny Carwash
Our colony continues to fill up faster than anticipated, as before long we get another refugee on the horizon. It's mister d!

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mister d grew up in an underground fallout shelter before growing up to become a private investigator. He has very good social and intellectual skills, but refuses to work with plants or rocks for some reason. He has a highly volatile a personality and is quick to have mental breakdowns in stressful situations. Also he has a weird fetish for prosthetic body parts and dreams of getting one whether he needs it or not.

mister d is pursued by five enemies from our nemesis the Independent Alliance of Orerabutlium, well armed, with names like Dankman, Nictis, Maker, Zeiph, and—what the fuck?

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I've never seen this before.. apparently game "recycles" colonists from previous playthroughs, because here's Nonlinear tagging along with this raider band.

We sound the alarm and move into position to safeguard mister d's escape. Soon we're engaged in a tense firefight amidst a series of rock outcroppings.

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A lot transpires in a short period here, so I'll break it down:

- Nonlinear shoots our elephant Atom in the head! Dick. Atom's brain is partially damaged but he's still alive and really pissed off.
- Maker rushes our guys on the right here, but Atom and our other elephant Jack catch him against a wall and savagely maul him to death.
- Nictis rushes out from cover, but Johnnie and BSF bring her down with a series of shots.
- Dankman shoots Sabo in the ear and BSF in the stomach, and is then shot through the heart and Sabo is to blame.
- Zeiph shoots AB in the leg.
- sancarlos swings around the raiders' left flank and fires a well-timed burst that hits Nonlinear in the ear and arm.
- Nonlinear and Zeiph decide the heat is too much and retreat. Here's Nonlinear Bin Laden running away like a bitch:

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Also, we're in the middle of a heat wave and it was 118 degrees while this battle was raging and everyone now has mild heatstroke. Fortunately, no one's injuries are life-threatening.

While all this transpired, mister d was in our refrigerator helping himself to a meal.

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Battle of Delaware

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2019 7:36 am
by Johnny Carwash
After the battle, we toss the dead enemies onto our junk stockpile, which was probably a bad idea as our colonists take a mood hit every time they pass by the sight of decaying corpses. mister d has what promises to be the first of many breakdowns and goes wandering in a daze.

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Shortly thereafter sancarlos has a breakdown of his own, going on an eating binge. You're not helping here, DSafe.

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We're into the spring of our second year when a psychic wave sweeps over the area and drives three camels into a murderous rage toward our base. They head for the first person they see, who happens to be AB out planting crops.

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The others rush to the site, but AB is swarmed by the camels, so our only option is to open fire into the melee and hope for the best. A shotgun blast from DSafe misses a camel and hits AB in the liver, finishing the job bourbon started. AB collapses, causing the camels to turn and head toward the rest of the group, where we quickly gun them down. AB will miraculously survive despite a serious laundry list of injuries:

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Battle of Delaware

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2019 7:37 am
by Johnny Carwash
Oh no. The dreaded poison ship. This had dire results for several past Swampvilles. Also there is an emu nearby, which is going to give sancarlos some harrowing flashbacks. Nonetheless, we'll need to destroy it before the toxic gas kills everything in the area.

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We take positions, open fire, and two mechanoids emerge, a smaller "scyther" like the one that ended the previous colony, and a larger "centipede" armed with an incendiary rocket launcher.

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Our elephants Atom and Jack are unleashed to keep the scyther occupied while we concentrate fire on the centipede. Our guys with shorter-range guns will have to rush into the open to get close enough to hit it. Running out bunched together probably wasn't a great tactic as the centipede fires a round directly into our group that explodes into a huge fireball. sancarlos isn't having a good day so far.

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We fan out to avoid giving the centipede a concentrated target. The elephants dispatch the scyther and close in on the centipede, preventing it from firing off its main gun, but its short-range weapons inflict numerous injuries on them.

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After hundreds of rounds, we finally bring it down along with destroying the ship fuselage, but we have some burned-up dudes and two grievously wounded elephants. The medics get to work, but sadly Atom succumbs to his injuries, though Jack pulls through.

Ominously, in the process of tending everyone's injuries we exhaust our stock of medical supplies. The best we can do is to wait for the next crop of herbal medicines to be ready, which is still a ways away. In addition, a few people have started to develop infections and will need to be closely monitored. We've survived the day, but our future survival will be highly dependent on not getting hit with another major attack anytime soon.

Stay tuned...

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Battle of Delaware

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2019 7:45 am
by rass
Can't wait for shit to get freaky between mister d and AB's right leg.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Battle of Delaware

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2019 8:17 am
by A_B
Merely flesh wounds, all.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019: The Battle of Delaware

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2019 11:57 am
by wlu_lax6
Johnny Carwash wrote: Fri Jan 18, 2019 7:37 am The elephants dispatch the scyther and close in on the centipede, preventing it from firing off its main gun
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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 7:34 am
by Johnny Carwash
So when we last left off, we'd just won a tough battle against space robots, but at the cost of one of our elephants and the exhaustion of all our medical supplies. A few of the wounded have ominously developed infections.

Unfortunately, we're not going to catch much of a break as just a couple days later, we get another refugee pursued by a gang of raiders. It's degenerasian!

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degen grew up as a minor noble on a medieval world and later somehow ended up delivering messages by horseback. This background gives him an affinity for animals as well as fighting with hand-to-hand weapons. He refuses to do technological research or handle drugs. He is greedy, but on the bright side is a quick sleeper.

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And here are the raiders, the biggest and most heavily armed group so far. This could get really ugly.

On the way to the base, a few of the raiders break off to kill a couple of alpacas we had domesticated. A dick move to be sure, but it gives us a break tactically as they've temporarily divided their forces. And yeah, it's bloody as shit here from the recent battles.

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Here's how the fight plays out:
- Sabo shoots "Nicole" in the head, killing her instantly.
- Johnnie kills "Priscilla," a teenage pop idol, with a shot through the clavicle.
- Sabo collapses from an infection to his past wounds and has to be carried away from the front.
- "Smiles," an artist, critically wounds degen in the torso, before being shot dead by mister d.
- mister d gets another kill, shooting "Speedy" in the torso.
- "Weiss" shoots sancarlos in the leg and is in turn killed by BSF.
- With half their number down, the raiders turn to flee.

We've won this one, but have Johnnie, BSF, DSafe, sancarlos, and degen all with varying degrees of injuries, and nothing more we can do for now but stop the bleeding and hope they pull through.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 7:35 am
by Johnny Carwash
wlu_lax, despite not being wounded in the this battle, collapses from an earlier infection. We take him to the infirmary but the infection has progressed too far and he dies. So, the earlier poll was on-point after all. Good work, everyone.

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He's followed by sancarlos, who dies after his recent wound becomes infected.

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Ok, this is fucked up: While the bodies are awaiting burial, a cougar comes along and eats sancarlos's head. sancarlos will go down as history's most dedicated gigolo, letting cougars eat him even in death.

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degen is the third to go, succumbing to his gunshot wounds. Sorry degen, we hardly knew you. On the bright side, you narrowly avoided EnochRoot's record for the shortest-tenured colonist (2 days to 1).

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Everyone else manages to survive, and before long we're able to harvest some herbal medicine and buy some more from traders, so our medical crisis has passed for now.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 7:35 am
by Johnny Carwash
mister d is out gathering resources when he gets attacked by a mad emu. brian rushes over to dispatch the emu and save mister d while they talk about beets.

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Uh oh. The multitude of emu wounds has driven the high-strung mister d over the edge. Was it something about the beets?

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mister d slips into brian's room, but brian has been alerted and is ready. Looks like mister d is already having second thoughts.

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brian closes the distance before mister d can get off a shot and stabs him repeatedly until he collapses, suffering just a minor pistol-whip injury.

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mister d's injuries cause him to snap out of his murderous delusions, but putting them side-to-side in the hospital probably wasn't the best idea.

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Stay tuned...

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 8:12 am
by rass
Johnny Carwash wrote: Mon Jan 21, 2019 7:35 am Ok, this is fucked up: While the bodies are awaiting burial, a cougar comes along and eats sancarlos's head. sancarlos will go down as history's most dedicated gigolo, letting cougars eat him even in death.
The Monkey's Paw strikes again.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 12:35 pm
by sancarlos
Dying from an infected wound is way less cool than being pecked to death by an emu.

Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2019 7:29 am
by Johnny Carwash
When we last left off, mister d had suffered a mental break that caused him to attempt to kill brian, but instead ended up with a chest full of stab wounds and a trip to the infirmary. Let's see how mister d is doing:

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OK, might take a little while longer.

Recently a "wild woman" named Barr has been wandering in the area, but we've mostly left her alone. While in the vicinity, AB stops to chat her up and is attacked by a pack of maddened cougars. The others rush over to dispatch the cougars and save him. AB is badly mauled and on the brink of death, but pulls through.

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Another transport pod crashes nearby. This time it's Rex!

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Before becoming the only one here who gives a shit about the rules, Rex was a sickly child confined to a research hospital. As an adult, he was sent to a brutal penal colony for crimes he denies, and then escaped by digging a series of tunnels Shawshank-style. This experience gives him a strong Mining skill, but he has zero interest in art, medicine, or social interactions. He is ugly but is a hard worker.

We imprison Rex to "ensure" he joins us, but he is quickly convinced and becomes a member of our colony.

Rex walks past degenerasian's grave and can be heard muttering something about a "worthy fuckin' adversary."

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2019 7:30 am
by Johnny Carwash
A group of alphabeavers arrives in the area, threatening to eat away our already sparse supply of wood. We send out Sabo and DSafe for what should be an easy hunting job to alleviate the problem, but the beavers turn hostile and swarm them.

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Sabo falls with numerous bites and scratches and has to be hauled off to safety. DSafe is dropped next, but manages to take a few beavers with him.

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With Sabo and DSafe down, AB rushes out to help but is himself swarmed and mauled.

We're able to save Sabo and DSafe, but with the infirmary in chaos we're unable to get to AB in time and he expires. You can only cheat death by brutal animal mauling a certain number of times, apparently.

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A few others head out and are able to finally neutralize the beaver threat. Meanwhile, mister d breaks down over AB's death and binges on some hallucinogenic tea a visiting tribe had left as a gift.

Also, while this was happening, a caravan from another tribe came wandering by and holy shit, it's bengal! Apparently he managed to survive after all. The tribe passed through without further incident other than commenting that they found our accommodations lacking.

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Re: Swamp RimWorld 2019

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2019 7:30 am
by Johnny Carwash
With some down time, Sabo gets back to his burgeoning painting career. His latest works include:

- brian standing under a mesa and vomiting while surrounded by dessicated eagle corpses
- Johnnie writing his name on the television screen with a satisfied look on his face

We sell them for about $100 to a primitive tribe that was somehow interested in them.

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I've built out the base a little more and added some sandbags for basic defenses, so that we're not always scrambling for cover when enemies attack. If things stay relatively quiet and stable I'll see about some more extensive fortifications.

Stay tuned...