tennbengal wrote: ↑Tue Jun 18, 2019 2:01 pm
So where are we on this kind of thing now? Still funny? Sliding scale - like if the kid was a male and was 17, no harm no foul? Especially if the adult was a hottish woman?
I've spent too much time with clients now who were involved in something like that when they were teens with teachers/priests (priests who were their teachers) to find it all that benign. People are messed up from this kind of stuff in real life.
In all honesty, and maybe we're not supposed to say stuff like this anymore, I still just kinda assume it's no big deal where the kid is male and at least 15 or so and the teacher is a woman. I am curious, though, how that works out in practice and how and to what extent that really does mess up a kid. Are you dealing with that situation?
Steve -I am representing a number of people who suffered abuse from priests and nuns when they were kids/teens. Several were probably what would be considered by society to be “ok” abuses I guess(?) - but I can tell you it isn’t benign - I don’t think we as adults remember how confusing growing into adulthood is both emotionally and sexually - and that the power imbalance is a real thing. It should go without saying that adults have no place inserting themselves (figuratively and literally) into that world. It is abusive and wrong.
So if the boy was 13, and the substitute a woman who was 25 - not ok? But if he’s 15 kinda ok? I guess I don’t buy that.
I spent a good chunk of my Sunday this week with a client who at the time felt honored and special to have been chosen by a priest (who was a teacher in her school) to spend special time with him. She was 13 when it started. He was a priest so her parents didn’t blink an eye. It was the 70s when apparently people just didn’t put two and two together. She’s messed up now. And coming to grips with a whole host of feelings about what happened and her part in it (she blames herself for stuff that frankly is stuff that would overwhelm any 13-year-old.)
No, I don’t find it amusing anymore I guess, if I ever did. I probably did. I was an asshole.
I think we're about the same age, right? (I'm 49). Almost everything we saw from entertainment and Hollywood said that it was super hot for an older woman to bed a young guy, often as early as high school. You are not an asshole.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
tennbengal wrote: ↑Tue Jun 18, 2019 2:01 pm
So where are we on this kind of thing now? Still funny? Sliding scale - like if the kid was a male and was 17, no harm no foul? Especially if the adult was a hottish woman?
I've spent too much time with clients now who were involved in something like that when they were teens with teachers/priests (priests who were their teachers) to find it all that benign. People are messed up from this kind of stuff in real life.
In all honesty, and maybe we're not supposed to say stuff like this anymore, I still just kinda assume it's no big deal where the kid is male and at least 15 or so and the teacher is a woman. I am curious, though, how that works out in practice and how and to what extent that really does mess up a kid. Are you dealing with that situation?
Steve -I am representing a number of people who suffered abuse from priests and nuns when they were kids/teens. Several were probably what would be considered by society to be “ok” abuses I guess(?) - but I can tell you it isn’t benign - I don’t think we as adults remember how confusing growing into adulthood is both emotionally and sexually - and that the power imbalance is a real thing. It should go without saying that adults have no place inserting themselves (figuratively and literally) into that world. It is abusive and wrong.
So if the boy was 13, and the substitute a woman who was 25 - not ok? But if he’s 15 kinda ok? I guess I don’t buy that.
I spent a good chunk of my Sunday this week with a client who at the time felt honored and special to have been chosen by a priest (who was a teacher in her school) to spend special time with him. She was 13 when it started. He was a priest so her parents didn’t blink an eye. It was the 70s when apparently people just didn’t put two and two together. She’s messed up now. And coming to grips with a whole host of feelings about what happened and her part in it (she blames herself for stuff that frankly is stuff that would overwhelm any 13-year-old.)
No, I don’t find it amusing anymore I guess, if I ever did. I probably did. I was an asshole.
I think we're about the same age, right? (I'm 49). Almost everything we saw from entertainment and Hollywood said that it was super hot for an older woman to bed a young guy, often as early as high school. You are not an asshole.
I think there's more to it than what we saw in movies and on TV.
I couldn't have been the only horny 14-17 year old who would have given anything to sleep with one of my good looking teachers or a couple of the mothers in the neighbourhood. Clearly there are memories of those days at play when we think of these stories.
"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
tennbengal wrote: ↑Tue Jun 18, 2019 2:01 pm
So where are we on this kind of thing now? Still funny? Sliding scale - like if the kid was a male and was 17, no harm no foul? Especially if the adult was a hottish woman?
I've spent too much time with clients now who were involved in something like that when they were teens with teachers/priests (priests who were their teachers) to find it all that benign. People are messed up from this kind of stuff in real life.
In all honesty, and maybe we're not supposed to say stuff like this anymore, I still just kinda assume it's no big deal where the kid is male and at least 15 or so and the teacher is a woman. I am curious, though, how that works out in practice and how and to what extent that really does mess up a kid. Are you dealing with that situation?
Steve -I am representing a number of people who suffered abuse from priests and nuns when they were kids/teens. Several were probably what would be considered by society to be “ok” abuses I guess(?) - but I can tell you it isn’t benign - I don’t think we as adults remember how confusing growing into adulthood is both emotionally and sexually - and that the power imbalance is a real thing. It should go without saying that adults have no place inserting themselves (figuratively and literally) into that world. It is abusive and wrong.
So if the boy was 13, and the substitute a woman who was 25 - not ok? But if he’s 15 kinda ok? I guess I don’t buy that.
I spent a good chunk of my Sunday this week with a client who at the time felt honored and special to have been chosen by a priest (who was a teacher in her school) to spend special time with him. She was 13 when it started. He was a priest so her parents didn’t blink an eye. It was the 70s when apparently people just didn’t put two and two together. She’s messed up now. And coming to grips with a whole host of feelings about what happened and her part in it (she blames herself for stuff that frankly is stuff that would overwhelm any 13-year-old.)
No, I don’t find it amusing anymore I guess, if I ever did. I probably did. I was an asshole.
I appreciate the response. I have no direct personal knowledge of that kind of situation and what can really happen.
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.
