The Swamp

This country is changing very quickly. It's not just Brees. I've seen a lot of people that are the kind of Midwestern small town people that we all know (even if you're not from the Midwest) that are woke the fuck up now. The work now is keeping them after the protests dissipate as they inevitably have to do one day.

NBC should run the players' video clip every week during the Sunday night game.

I imagine corporate sponsors would come running to pay for the ad time to get their brand attached.

Pretty cool...though Trey's a Jets fan? Fuck that.

Panthers remove statue of former owner Jerry Richardson, reportedly for good

Pruitt wrote: ↑Tue Jun 16, 2020 6:41 pm Panthers remove statue of former owner Jerry Richardson, reportedly for good

Honestly he isn’t selling the play action at all. Run all the way.

Anyone need any nightmare fuel?

I'm not even sure who that Jets QB is supposed to be (Fitzmagic?) but she's hideous.

brian wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2020 11:42 am I'm not even sure who that Jets QB is supposed to be (Fitzmagic?) but she's hideous.

I'm guessing Darnold. And these are all from last year's teams I guess.

Garoppolo is hawt.

Giff wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2020 11:50 am Garoppolo is hawt.

Jaime Garopplo and DeShawna Watson.

A_B wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2020 11:43 am

brian wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2020 11:42 am I'm not even sure who that Jets QB is supposed to be (Fitzmagic?) but she's hideous.

I'm guessing Darnold. And these are all from last year's teams I guess.

Its the girl from Superbad that fucked McLovin'.

Jacksonville looked pretty geographically accurate.

Giff wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2020 11:50 am Garoppolo is hawt.

For real.

And I'm pretty sure Cam Newton just added extensions.

Kaaron Rodgers totally wants to talk to the manager.

L-Jam3 wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2020 7:28 pm Kaaron Rodgers totally wants to talk to the manager.

Erin Rodgers. Come on.

Kaaron is funnier.

OK, I got started and couldn't stop.

Brady: President of an elite sorority who has all the sisters terrified into a code of silence to prevent the discovery of an incident that would get them disbanded

Ryan: Lesbian mom who drives 15 kids to soccer practice in the army surplus vehicle she converted into an RV

Haskins: Debating whether or not to physically attack this other mom at the PTA meeting who will just not shut the fuck up

Jones: Gives you that look from across the bar but every guy in the vicinity immediately tells you "Don't, it's not worth it."

Brees: Angelic wife of a GOP senator who goes on TV to plead for privacy when her husband is caught up in some fucked-up sex scandal

Bridgewater: Featured on the local news breaking down and crying when the coach shows up at her work to tell her that her walk-on son has been granted a full scholarship

Prescott: Hottest girl at school but immediately says "Get the fuck out of here" to anyone who gets within 10 feet

Wentz: The one girl in a otherwise all-male group of friends; is friends-with-benefits with half of them and a way better lay than they would have ever expected

Darnold: Leaves her husband and kids in an attempt to romantically pursue her boss; completely stunned when he has no interest in her whatsoever and begins stalking him

Stidham: Currently topping the Contemporary Christian music charts

Rodgers: Feminist studies major in one of your elective classes who is always in a bad mood but single-handedly gets you an A on the group project so you let it go

Stafford: Homecoming queen 4 years in a row at an agricultural high school in Nebraska with like 5 girls total

Cousins: Governor's wife who stays in the background but he's a complete fucking doofus and she's the brains behind the operation

Trubisky: First cut from America's Top Model who is at a complete loss and has no idea what to do with her life now

Wilson: Brought in a bigger haul during the last school fundraiser than everyone else combined

Garoppolo: Hottest mom of anyone at your school; husband is 30 years older and her son is a massive asshole

Goff: Started doing porn to get back at an ex and is now wondering if it's too late to get out

Murray: Shortest girl in a group of friends who goes into den-mother mode and scares the shit out of any guy who starts bothering the others too much

Rivers: Just absolutely destroyed her ex in a divorce settlement and has no need to comment

Watson: Challenges all prospective dates to beat her at some athletic competition; so far none have succeeded

Mishew: Employee of the Month 9 times in a row; has no clue she's despised by all her co-workers

Taneyhill: Girl next door you have a crush on but whom you can never talk to for more than 30 seconds without her douchebag boyfriend showing up

Tagovailoa: Tried but couldn't come up with anything for this one. She/he looks too wholesome.

Allen: Brienne from Game of Thrones

Mayfield: Right-wing panel show guest who dismisses all liberal men as "just mad because you know you can ever have this."

Jackson: The friend 28 different Karens reference as "proof" they're not racist

Roethlisberger: Amy Shumer

Burrow: Got herself cleaned up as much as possible for her court appearance to get that meth possession expunged from her record

Mahomes: Vaeledictorian and olympic-level gymnast, but somehow never seen on campus outside of awards ceremonies

Carr: Art major whose stuff is all weird abstract shit in all-black no one understands. Less eye makeup than the actual Derek Carr.

Lock: Mom of your one friend whose house has everything you wish yours did

Herbert: 45-year-old college student who tries a little too hard to be friends with the younger kids

Newton: Famous 90's R&B singer who is now a judge on a reality show who makes everyone cry in their auditions

Foles: Got 20 different books banned from the school library because she found them personally objectionable

Winston: On the news giving a spirited narrative of a fight that broke out across the street that turns into a meme

Mariota: Executive Assistant to the CEO who refuses to discuss the nature of their relationship after his wife turns up missing

You put an impressive amount of work into that. Buy that man a drink!

I have nothing to add to that list!

Except that Dee Dee Prescott and Drea Brees can QB my fantasy team.

Prescott and Mariota can get it.

Karen Rivers


Drew Lock is the loudest mom at the soccer game

CAM ooOOOOooo Cam!

Has any coach ever lost more picks for cheating?

If this was MLB, the Patriots wouldn't be punished at all while a team like the Falcons would lose first and second rounders while forcing their GM and coach out.

What level of the spiral is it when you stick up for your team by equating them to the Atlanta Falcons?

I could've gone Texans, but that would've been mean.

I don't think I would have had Houston in my top 10 heirs to the "NOBODY HAS EVER BEEN MORE DISRESPECTED AND TREATED UNFAIRLY" crown that Boston has proudly worn for two decades.

three

Jesus. You guys can just "have a quarterback" without getting all weird about it.

I mean, that's the thing that's going to happen when a human face is the logo.

Should have made his hair match the "shape" of New England.

rass wrote: ↑Thu Jul 02, 2020 10:11 am Should have made his hair match the "shape" of New England.

Instead of a crumpled maple leaf, yeah.

Yes when you're changing a graphic to match the shape of someone's hair, you definitely want to that shape to not be his hair

Or just use some random steampunk glasses that he maybe wore once.

Mahomes extended through 2031. Haven't seen dollar amount yet, but presumably the amount will be Quite A Lot

it may not have a dollar amount on it tbh. given it's 12 total years it's likely going to be cap-tied in some fashion

all the reaction on twitter is also kinda funny. he wasn't going anywhere and everyone who watches the NFL knew the Chiefs were going to sign him long-term and pay him lots of money!