RIMWORLD 2020: The Great White North

Rams Fanny · Post by **Rams Fanny** » Tue Mar 24, 2020 11:56 am

Does the game allow you to attack others around you or at least scout for bands of pirates? Seems as though you are sitting around waiting for the next wave of marauders.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:19 pm

Rams Fanny wrote: ↑Tue Mar 24, 2020 11:56 am Does the game allow you to attack others around you or at least scout for bands of pirates? Seems as though you are sitting around waiting for the next wave of marauders.

Previously not, but after some of the recent updates you can now. You gather up a group and supplies and send them traveling on the overworld map. It gets tricky because time continues to advance at all locations simultaneously, so you could get hit by some clusterfuck at your home base while half your guys are somewhere else. Also, if you don't pack the proper supplies your traveling group could starve/freeze/etc. in the middle of nowhere.

I did it earlier when we went to knock out that climate device, but if I feel more comfortable we might do something more involved eventually.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 7:35 am

No update today. Should be back tomorrow.

Teaser: We're not done with freaky shit involving corpses.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 7:53 am

!!!

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:04 am

Pruitt wrote: ↑Mon Mar 23, 2020 8:49 am
rass wrote: ↑Mon Mar 23, 2020 6:56 am What Dmitry takes, Dmitry gives, eh Pruitt?
I trained him to kill anything in a Kijana Carter shirt.

WHOA I'm gonna show this to Kijana Carter next time I see him

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 11:11 am

Gunpowder wrote: ↑Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:04 am
Pruitt wrote: ↑Mon Mar 23, 2020 8:49 am
rass wrote: ↑Mon Mar 23, 2020 6:56 am What Dmitry takes, Dmitry gives, eh Pruitt?
I trained him to kill anything in a Kijana Carter shirt.

WHOA I'm gonna show this to Kijana Carter next time I see him

I meant David Klingler!

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Mar 30, 2020 6:42 am

Sorry for the few days' delay on updates. So, not long after the previous events we get raided again by one of the primitive tribes. Judging by how the last battle went, I'm not eager to fight them again, and this time there are significantly more. Coincidentally, a friendly trade caravan is passing through the area. I'm gonna take the cynical route here and just let them absorb the attack while we sit this one out. A bloodbath ensues:

The traders get the upper hand, but plenty of carnage on both sides. After they're gone, we go out and loot the area, picking up a bunch of sweet gear.

Speaking of trading: coincidentally, of all our colonists, BFJ is able to negotiate the best prices with traders. Does that make this game anti-Semitic? (or pro-Semitic?)

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Mar 30, 2020 6:42 am

Just a few days later we're hit with another raid, and this time we're not lucky enough to have someone else to pawn it off on. This is the Pact of Areuneron, who are heavily armed and will pose a much greater threat than the stick- and club-wielding dipshits we're usually fighting.

Well, Gunpowder was so stressed by Pruitt dying that he has a breakdown and develops a "corpse fascination." He digs up Pruitt's recently-buried corpse and puts it on the dining room table.

Uh-oh, it's spreading. BFJ follows by digging up bengal's headless corpse and takes it back to the same area where he died.

And now our prisoner Legend goes berserk over drug withdrawal and kicks down his prison door, and has to be rifle-butted into submission by brian.

After a while things calm down. Gunpowder and BFJ return to their senses, we re-bury the bodies, and the imperial shuttle arrives to take Legend away (good riddance). Things are finally getting back to normal.

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Mar 30, 2020 6:53 am

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Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Mon Mar 30, 2020 7:44 am

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Mon Mar 30, 2020 6:42 amWell, Gunpowder was so stressed by Pruitt dying that he has a breakdown and develops a "corpse fascination." He digs up Pruitt's recently-buried corpse and puts it on the dining room table.

I feel like this violates local zoning regs. Mayor Goodway needs to step up.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Mar 30, 2020 8:03 am

Ryan wrote: ↑Mon Mar 30, 2020 7:44 am
Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Mon Mar 30, 2020 6:42 amWell, Gunpowder was so stressed by Pruitt dying that he has a breakdown and develops a "corpse fascination." He digs up Pruitt's recently-buried corpse and puts it on the dining room table.

I feel like this violates local zoning regs. Mayor Goodway needs to step up.

I should never have left Adventure Bay. This place is nuts.

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Mon Mar 30, 2020 10:07 am

This is some quality shit.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon Mar 30, 2020 2:43 pm

GPJ drops his new album "The Exhumer"

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Mar 31, 2020 6:54 am

Another crashlanding transport pod, and this time it's Sabo!

Sabo was raised in an illegal underground organ farm and then escaped to become a martial arts expert, yet curiously despite this refuses to engage in violence. He has a fetish for prosthetic body parts and aspires to have one someday, regardless of whether he needs it. He is a nice guy but is lazy.

Sabo takes his sweet-ass time recovering from his injuries, but eventually leaves the infirmary and joins the colony.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Mar 31, 2020 6:56 am

Time for another quest from the Red Empire. This time an Imperial bigwig has asked for our help draw away a mechanoid swarm that has been attacking her settlements. This will be a tough task, but we will gain further favor from the Empire if we succeed. We accept. Like before, the Empire sends two "champions" to assist.

Soon thereafter, the mechanoids land in our vicinity and set up a position, including a shield generator and gun turret. We plot out our attack. We'll wheel around this large rock outcropping so we can approach under cover and close the distance quickly.

We again let the champions serve as sacrificial lambs and rush in first, doing as much damage and sucking up as much damage as they can. They actually do pretty well, knocking out the shield generator, gun turret, and one of the mechanoids before biting it.

A couple of mechanoids armed with long scyther blades race toward us. Dmitry the bear rushes out to intercept them, drawing their attention long enough for the rest of us to gang up and destroy them. Dmitry is badly wounded in the fight, though.

Finally a strike team of brian, Gunpowder, Ryan, and duff rushes forward to finish off the rest of the mechs. Victory! Gunpowder then immediately gets naked for some reason and may be jerking it based on his hand position in this shot.

The victory comes at a cost, however, as we are unable to save Dmitry the bear before he dies of his wounds.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Mar 31, 2020 6:56 am

Now for our reward from the Empire. Since BFJ was the one who personally responded to the request, he earns an amount of royal favor that results in a promotion of his nobility rank to Esquire. This comes with several benefits: his psychic abilities have been expanded so that he can now blind enemies in addition to stunning them, and he can periodically call an Imperial trooper squad for assistance in battle.

There's a flip side, though, in that the increase in title will turn BFJ into even more of a prima donna. He now demands a bedroom of a certain size, a throne room with braziers, refuses to do cleaning, and will occasionally issue decrees demanding the rest of the colony do random shit for him. He also demands that he wear a top hat and ruffled shirt at all times.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Tue Mar 31, 2020 7:03 am

Big Fat Slash

rass · Post by **rass** » Tue Mar 31, 2020 7:04 am

Filled up the hole like spackle or I mean putty

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tennbengal · Post by **tennbengal** » Tue Mar 31, 2020 7:06 am

Carwash, thanks so much for doing this again.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Tue Mar 31, 2020 7:15 am

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Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Tue Mar 31, 2020 8:30 am

A_B wrote: ↑Tue Mar 31, 2020 7:03 amBig Fat Slash

Holy shit.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Tue Mar 31, 2020 12:25 pm

Just what we need. Another jew lawyer.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:26 am

duff is out hunting wild boar when the whole pack spontaneously decides they're tired of getting shot and charge him. duff is repeatedly trampled and gored until we get a team out to mow down the boars and rescue him. It's a bad day for duff, but he survives.

Later, a "wild man" wanders into the area. It's AB!

AB, before deciding to wander the wilderness naked, was a member of a primitive tribe. He excelled as an archer, which somehow makes him surprisingly adaptable to the use of modern firearms. He is also surprisingly agile for a man his size. He has a good all-around skill set that will make him useful at doing the "grunt work." Despite his humble origins, he is greedy and expects lavish personal accommodations.

We manage to recruit AB to our colony using some...ambiguous...means.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:27 am

Something must be going around, because we've had several fights between colonists break out recently. First, duff compares Gunpowder to a hyena and they fight. duff wins.

Then AB slanders Belle's (P.D.X.'s wife) way of thinking. Belle sends him to the medical ward.

Then Gunpowder derides Ryan's mother's way of walking. They scuffle and Gunpowder drops Ryan with a punch to the torso.

By the way, as you might of noticed before, the logs of fights and other interactions are insanely detailed. Also, every fight seems to involve an inordinate amount of biting. What the fuck, guys?

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:27 am

Another crash-landing refugee. It's mister d, who somehow came out looking like '80s Kenny Loggins here:

mister d was a highly successful actor in a traveling company who traveled the galaxy playing to packed audiences. He was known as a perfectionist who preferred to make his own costumes and props. This experiences gives him highly polished social skills, and some decent skill in crafting, but not much else of use. His pampered lifestyle means he will become jealous if someone else has a nicer room than he does.

So in case you forgot, Gunpowder, in addition to being a extemporaneous nudist who may or may not enjoy jackin' it to dead robots, is also a pyromaniac, and decides to set our crops on fire in the middle of a harvest.

Fortunately, we're able to stamp out the fires before they spread too far and detain Gunpowder until he settles down.

I know I owe you guys a status update on BFJ's sculptures, so here is a run-down of some of his latest works:
- rass beating up P.D.X. earlier
- BFJ signing his name on a sculpture and wiping the sweat from his forehead while eight acrobats look on
- brian tying up Ryan and twisting his ear "with obvious pleasure"
- P.D.X. leaving over to shoot pool while glowing with an orange aura
- Gunpowder in the middle of a battle, raising a fist in defiance in front of black banners covered in intestines
- Belle beating up AB

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:44 am

A reminder that this is actually going well, right?

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:45 am

That update truly had it all - action, drama, tension and romance.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:50 am

Make no mistake where you are, mister d. You're going no further.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:51 am

I love their goofy-ass little smiles.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Apr 01, 2020 7:52 am

I was walking around like Wildlife in Need.

ETA: Rass touched me emotionally, guys. He's a softie.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:10 am

I like how you were part of a primitive tribe, and THEN starting nakedly wandering. Like, how primitive were you before?

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:17 am

Ryan wrote: ↑Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:10 am I like how you were part of a primitive tribe, and THEN starting nakedly wandering. Like, how primitive were you before?

I do appreciate the restraint of not going straight to Appalachian Kentucky Hillbilly, Ryan.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:20 am

A_B wrote: ↑Wed Apr 01, 2020 7:52 am I was walking around like Wildlife in Need.

ETA: Rass touched me emotionally, guys. He's a softie.

Given my body posture and countenance, I bring the same approach and work ethic to "gently touching large strangers" and "putting out crop fires."

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Apr 03, 2020 6:48 am

Longer update today to make up for the lack of one yesterday, but I think the payoff at the end is worth it.

In early fall, another group of mechanoids shows up in the vicinity. For now they'll remain dormant unless we attack first, but since they'll eventually start replicating their numbers, it's best to get this over with now.

Entering the glowing area here will trigger an alarm that turns the mechs hostile. They also have a shield generator that will reflect all our shots from farther out, but will still allow them to shoot at us. We'll need to use some creative tactics here.

BFJ uses his newly-bestowed privileges to call in an imperial trooper squad directly on top of the position, triggering the alarm, and then skedaddles to the rear to let those guys draw the fire instead of us. We're hoping the troopers will attack the shield generator, but instead they turn to random other targets. P.D.X.'s wife Belle bravely runs in and manages to destroy the generator herself, but the ensuing explosion and enemy fire leave her badly wounded.

With the shields down, we're able to unload on the mechs from a safer position and wipe them out in a short time. In the aftermath, we rush Belle to the medical quarters along with AB who was also downed. AB pulls through but it's too late for Belle, and she dies.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Apr 03, 2020 6:49 am

Mechanoids must have a real hard-on for us (or maybe they're just reciprocating Gunpowder), as just a few days later another group descends on us from the north, and this time they're attacking immediately. We scramble out to create a firing line and pick off a few from long distance, then a close-quarters team rushes forward to take down the rest.

brian, who at a high-level view had seemed to be fine after the last battle, suddenly collapses in a pool of blood. It turns out that brian had actually had his left leg blown off, but his psychopathic indifference to pain left him just hopping around nonchalantly on one foot until he passed out from blood loss. It's a close call, but we're able to get brian's bleeding halted just in time to save him.

Note: duff had lost his left hand in the previous battle as well. Our technology is advanced enough now to create advanced prosthetics, so I'll be getting brian and duff hooked up with some bionic limbs when I can.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Apr 03, 2020 6:49 am

The pressure is unrelenting as just a few days later we're attacked again, now by a group of raiders from Megumi's Burglars. This time they're looking to set up some mortar turrets to bombard the shit out of our base from afar, so we'll want to attack them pre-emptively. Oh, and by the way, the one named "Bowman" happens to be rass's girlfriend, so I assume she's a 50-year-old Latina with gravity-defying knockers. It's not going to stop them from trying to kill each other, though.

We manage to get the drop on the raiders, catching them when they're still setting up their position.

AB riddles Bowman with shots from his assault rifle until her torso disintegrates. rass isn't happy.

The battle quickly turns one-sided in our favor. Gunpowder drops three raiders by himself. The one named Waters rushes AB with a knife but Ryan blows her away. Then mister d moves in with his shotgun and kills Gilbert, who was a 70-year-old woman.

By the way, the little present-looking thing Waters dropped here is "Flake" which is basically space crack. AB looks like he's scoping out whether anyone would noticed if he swiped it for himself.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Apr 03, 2020 6:49 am

P.D.X. remains despondent over the loss of his wife, Belle, and has a breakdown. He decides to take out his angst on a random nearby object, which unfortunately in this case happens to be the stack of mortar rounds left by the raiders. P.D.X. kicks the mortar rounds, causing them to explode and set him on fire along with several other things in the vicinity, including this coyote.

The coyote proceeds to get pissed off at P.D.X. for setting it on fire and attacks him. Meanwhile, the fire spreads to several other munitions the raiders had left at the scene, causing a chain reaction of explosions that unleash fires over a broader area.

Overwhelmed by flames and coyote bites, P.D.X. collapses and expires, burning away into nothing.

The fires are extinguished, but we're down two colonists in a matter of days.

Stay tuned...

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:06 am

Coyote was pissed because being violently killed in a hilariously self-induced accident is his schtick.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Fri Apr 03, 2020 8:22 am

Like Wile E. Coyote.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Fri Apr 03, 2020 8:27 am

This is just hilarious -

P.D.X. remains despondent over the loss of his wife, Belle, and has a breakdown. He decides to take out his angst on a random nearby object, which unfortunately in this case happens to be the stack of mortar rounds left by the raiders. P.D.X. kicks the mortar rounds, causing them to explode and set him on fire along with several other things in the vicinity, including this coyote.