RIMWORLD 2020: The Great White North
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- Johnny Carwash
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
Bengal has been busy cranking out technological research and we're now able to build a communications console, finally allowing us contact with the outside world beyond chance encounters.
A transport pod crash-lands in a nearby marsh, leaving a wounded passenger. It's Ryan!
Ryan had been working as a space janitor for our rival faction, the Pact of Aureuneron. He is a night owl and is asexual. Despite (or because?) of this, he is good at working with animals. Since he is a member of an enemy faction, we have to keep him prisoner first and attempt to recruit him to our side. Or, the game informs me that we could make $175 for selling him into slavery.
Now that we have a decent food surplus and most of our basic needs taken care of, we have some downtime for non-essential activities. We install a pool table and harvest the most important crop:
Here's how our base is shaping up so far:
A transport pod crash-lands in a nearby marsh, leaving a wounded passenger. It's Ryan!
Ryan had been working as a space janitor for our rival faction, the Pact of Aureuneron. He is a night owl and is asexual. Despite (or because?) of this, he is good at working with animals. Since he is a member of an enemy faction, we have to keep him prisoner first and attempt to recruit him to our side. Or, the game informs me that we could make $175 for selling him into slavery.
Now that we have a decent food surplus and most of our basic needs taken care of, we have some downtime for non-essential activities. We install a pool table and harvest the most important crop:
Here's how our base is shaping up so far:
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
Alright, time for our first in-game crowdsourced decision. Here's a message we received from one of the Empire's nobility. What do you think? Vote in the poll above.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
Are you sure we/they have a choice?
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
What exactly would a psychic soothe pulser do for me, a big-time injured asexual?
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The
holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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- The Dude
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
That feels like a big fuck no. That will be my vote. We should not dance to their tune. Fuck that.
- Pruitt
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
I agree. Better to die on our feet than to leave on our knees!tennbengal wrote: ↑Thu Mar 12, 2020 8:11 am That feels like a big fuck no. That will be my vote. We should not dance to their tune. Fuck that.
Hey BFJ - found a picture of your aunt:
"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
- A_B
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
Guys, they're sending the sloths either way. Better be prepared.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
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- The Dude
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- A_B
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
You better hope they don't send the champions with them!
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
The game makes it pretty clear that it's optional. I had a few earlier requests like this that I turned down because they weren't practical at the time, and there weren't any repercussions.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
So $600 for everyone to fight giant sloths or $175 to sell Ryan the asexual space janitor?
Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
Are we sure it is "asexual space janitor" and not "a sexual space janitor"?
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
Either way, Uranus is spotless
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The
holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
For what it's worth, his value is now over $1K since he's no longer wounded and on the brink of death.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
- govmentchedda
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
Until everything is less insane, I'm mixing weed with wine.
Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
So, it looks like fellatio is part of the ceremony?Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:05 am Spring kicks off with a marriage ceremony for Pruitt and his bride Rosy.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
- Nonlinear FC
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
TWILTS
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
- Pruitt
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
That's my girl!sancarlos wrote: ↑Thu Mar 12, 2020 12:35 pmSo, it looks like fellatio is part of the ceremony?Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:05 am Spring kicks off with a marriage ceremony for Pruitt and his bride Rosy.
"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
Short update today. So, despite the protestations of bengal and Pruitt, the vote is overwhelmingly in favor of accepting the Empire's offer. Bring on the crazed ground sloths!
As promised, the Empire sends three of its "champions" to assist us in the fight: Deneb, Ibarra, and Mai. Before long, the ground sloths appear on the horizon.
Pruitt will be unable to participate in the fight as he had passed out stoned shortly before.
I've devised a highly sophisticated tactic for this battle, which is to send the champions out first and have them absorb as much damage as possible before subjecting our colonists to any danger. We take cover behind some rocks and open fire as the sloths approach. When they are in close range, the champions rush forward to engage and pound away at them with hammers and swords.
Eventually the first sloth goes down, and P.D.X. emerges from cover to finish it off with a stab to the head. The other sloth dies shortly after from an accumulation of gunshots and hammer blows. The champions Ibarra and Deneb die of their wounds, but there are no repercussions for us.
As a reward for successfully fulfilling the Empire's request, we receive the psychic soothe pulser, whose function I still need to figure out (or sell). Additionally, bengal is bestowed the title of Freeholder. This is a level below BFJ and grants the special ability of: nothing. Congratulations!
As promised, the Empire sends three of its "champions" to assist us in the fight: Deneb, Ibarra, and Mai. Before long, the ground sloths appear on the horizon.
Pruitt will be unable to participate in the fight as he had passed out stoned shortly before.
I've devised a highly sophisticated tactic for this battle, which is to send the champions out first and have them absorb as much damage as possible before subjecting our colonists to any danger. We take cover behind some rocks and open fire as the sloths approach. When they are in close range, the champions rush forward to engage and pound away at them with hammers and swords.
Eventually the first sloth goes down, and P.D.X. emerges from cover to finish it off with a stab to the head. The other sloth dies shortly after from an accumulation of gunshots and hammer blows. The champions Ibarra and Deneb die of their wounds, but there are no repercussions for us.
As a reward for successfully fulfilling the Empire's request, we receive the psychic soothe pulser, whose function I still need to figure out (or sell). Additionally, bengal is bestowed the title of Freeholder. This is a level below BFJ and grants the special ability of: nothing. Congratulations!
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
Mmmmm ... crazed ground sloth meat!
Birds don’t suck. They lack the necessary anatomical structures to do so.
Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
Do we get to keep Mai? He/she seems important.
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The
holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
Nope, they leave as soon as the quest is resolved.
Also, I was less than forthcoming about the other two "dying of their wounds" when it was really because I forgot they needed medical attention and left them there.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
- Pruitt
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
Good luck guys - I'll be with you in spirit.
"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
- govmentchedda
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL
I'm looking down on you like Biggie from above.
Until everything is less insane, I'm mixing weed with wine.
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
This latest random-generated new colonist I make into a Swamper ought to really be something. Any volunteers?
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
- A_B
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
Clearly swampcrash stalwart zipper.
Or gpj who actually is funny.
Or gpj who actually is funny.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
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- The Dude
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
More like the Bore-us-all Forest
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The
holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
Heh.
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
The game decides to fuck us over by hitting us with a cold snap that sends temperatures plummeting to 1F in the middle of summer, killing our crops. It passes and we re-plant, but will likely be in vain as the harvest won't be ready before the end of fall. Going to be another tough winter.
To help mitigate the food situation, bengal's research now allows us to build hydroponics basins, which let us grow food indoors year-round so long as we keep their environments properly lit and heated. It's not an efficient replacement for natural crops, so we'll still need to watch our food supplies.
We finally convince Ryan to join. He shortly thereafter insults P.D.X.'s wife's culture.
A while ago a silver meteorite had landed nearby. Since silver is the currency of this game, we essentially just received a giant chunk of money from outer space. We break it down and add it to our stocks.
A colony's accumulated "wealth" is used to determine the likelihood that you'll attract traders as well as raiders, so it's a double-edged sword.
To help mitigate the food situation, bengal's research now allows us to build hydroponics basins, which let us grow food indoors year-round so long as we keep their environments properly lit and heated. It's not an efficient replacement for natural crops, so we'll still need to watch our food supplies.
We finally convince Ryan to join. He shortly thereafter insults P.D.X.'s wife's culture.
A while ago a silver meteorite had landed nearby. Since silver is the currency of this game, we essentially just received a giant chunk of money from outer space. We break it down and add it to our stocks.
A colony's accumulated "wealth" is used to determine the likelihood that you'll attract traders as well as raiders, so it's a double-edged sword.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
Our friends from Magumi's Burglars launch another raid. This time they're more clever and send attackers from multiple angles, forcing us to divide our forces. It's a tough fight, but we prevail.
Our group to the south defeats the main attack.
Over to the west, P.D.X. mercilessly shivs Cheech Marin to death.
And in the north, Pruitt and Ryan take down this dude. Pruitt seems to enjoy it while Ryan appears morally conflicted.
Afterwards, the customary victory cigar.
Our group to the south defeats the main attack.
Over to the west, P.D.X. mercilessly shivs Cheech Marin to death.
And in the north, Pruitt and Ryan take down this dude. Pruitt seems to enjoy it while Ryan appears morally conflicted.
Afterwards, the customary victory cigar.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
Another transport pod crashes nearby and this time it's popular Swamper and rap impresario Gunpowder!
Gunpowder grew up in a superstitious society that believed him to be the product of a coupling between a human and a snake demon, rumors he did his best to confirm by showing clear psychopathic tendencies in his youth. Despite this baggage, he grew up to be a successful practitioner of homeopathic medicine. He refuses to do manual labor and is also a pyromaniac.
We detain Gunpowder in a prison cell, where BFJ visits him regularly in an attempt to recruit him. Some interesting conversational choices here. WTF, BFJ?
Gunpowder grew up in a superstitious society that believed him to be the product of a coupling between a human and a snake demon, rumors he did his best to confirm by showing clear psychopathic tendencies in his youth. Despite this baggage, he grew up to be a successful practitioner of homeopathic medicine. He refuses to do manual labor and is also a pyromaniac.
We detain Gunpowder in a prison cell, where BFJ visits him regularly in an attempt to recruit him. Some interesting conversational choices here. WTF, BFJ?
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
BFJ really knows how to get a conversation started
Pack a vest for your james in the city of intercourse
Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
Need to know whose pubic hair was the subject of that conversation.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
One more update for today.
Another megawolverine attacks us, but we're able to handle it more easily than the one that killed chedda. It tears off P.D.X.'s left ear and he responds by cutting off its tail. Finally the others bring it down with an accumulation of shots.
Our remote outpost finally makes contact with a passing trade ship and we're able to trade a bunch of BFJ's sculptures for some critical supplies. Here's a look at some of the additional works we sold:
- a chemist eating a pea
- a self-portrait of BFJ playing chess
- bengal losing a billiard game and massaging his wrists while five partridges play nearby
- another self portrait of BFJ making a sculpture while covered in "grime" (but not vomit this time)
- Pruitt being disabled in a "cowardly, half-hearted way" while a gardener watches
Also, we sell the psychic soothe pulser we got for completing the Empire's request for $403 rather than the $600 they told us it was worth.
Should point out that as of this moment we have 69 units of 420. Nice.
Another megawolverine attacks us, but we're able to handle it more easily than the one that killed chedda. It tears off P.D.X.'s left ear and he responds by cutting off its tail. Finally the others bring it down with an accumulation of shots.
Our remote outpost finally makes contact with a passing trade ship and we're able to trade a bunch of BFJ's sculptures for some critical supplies. Here's a look at some of the additional works we sold:
- a chemist eating a pea
- a self-portrait of BFJ playing chess
- bengal losing a billiard game and massaging his wrists while five partridges play nearby
- another self portrait of BFJ making a sculpture while covered in "grime" (but not vomit this time)
- Pruitt being disabled in a "cowardly, half-hearted way" while a gardener watches
Also, we sell the psychic soothe pulser we got for completing the Empire's request for $403 rather than the $600 they told us it was worth.
Should point out that as of this moment we have 69 units of 420. Nice.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
Hair Safety Tips, please
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The
holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
-
- The Dude
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North
Would buy this.bengal losing a billiard game and massaging his wrists while five partridges play nearby