RIMWORLD 2020: The Great White North

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Bengal has been busy cranking out technological research and we're now able to build a communications console, finally allowing us contact with the outside world beyond chance encounters.

A transport pod crash-lands in a nearby marsh, leaving a wounded passenger. It's Ryan!
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Ryan had been working as a space janitor for our rival faction, the Pact of Aureuneron. He is a night owl and is asexual. Despite (or because?) of this, he is good at working with animals. Since he is a member of an enemy faction, we have to keep him prisoner first and attempt to recruit him to our side. Or, the game informs me that we could make $175 for selling him into slavery.

Now that we have a decent food surplus and most of our basic needs taken care of, we have some downtime for non-essential activities. We install a pool table and harvest the most important crop:
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Here's how our base is shaping up so far:
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Alright, time for our first in-game crowdsourced decision. Here's a message we received from one of the Empire's nobility. What do you think? Vote in the poll above.

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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by rass »

Are you sure we/they have a choice?
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by Ryan »

What exactly would a psychic soothe pulser do for me, a big-time injured asexual?
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by tennbengal »

That feels like a big fuck no. That will be my vote. We should not dance to their tune. Fuck that.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by Pruitt »

tennbengal wrote: Thu Mar 12, 2020 8:11 am That feels like a big fuck no. That will be my vote. We should not dance to their tune. Fuck that.
I agree. Better to die on our feet than to leave on our knees!

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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by A_B »

Guys, they're sending the sloths either way. Better be prepared.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by tennbengal »

A_B wrote: Thu Mar 12, 2020 8:48 am Guys, they're sending the sloths either way. Better be prepared.
Then they send them. But not on their terms.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by A_B »

tennbengal wrote: Thu Mar 12, 2020 8:54 am
A_B wrote: Thu Mar 12, 2020 8:48 am Guys, they're sending the sloths either way. Better be prepared.
Then they send them. But not on their terms.
You better hope they don't send the champions with them!
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by Johnny Carwash »

rass wrote: Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:14 am Are you sure we/they have a choice?
The game makes it pretty clear that it's optional. I had a few earlier requests like this that I turned down because they weren't practical at the time, and there weren't any repercussions.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by mister d »

So $600 for everyone to fight giant sloths or $175 to sell Ryan the asexual space janitor?
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by rass »

Are we sure it is "asexual space janitor" and not "a sexual space janitor"?
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by Ryan »

Either way, Uranus is spotless
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by Johnny Carwash »

mister d wrote: Thu Mar 12, 2020 9:33 am So $600 for everyone to fight giant sloths or $175 to sell Ryan the asexual space janitor?
For what it's worth, his value is now over $1K since he's no longer wounded and on the brink of death.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by govmentchedda »

Ryan wrote: Thu Mar 12, 2020 9:38 am Either way, Uranus is spotless
Bravo, sir.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by sancarlos »

Johnny Carwash wrote: Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:05 am Spring kicks off with a marriage ceremony for Pruitt and his bride Rosy.
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So, it looks like fellatio is part of the ceremony?
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by P.D.X. »

:(
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by duff »

P.D.X. wrote: Thu Mar 12, 2020 2:02 pm:(
A wanting look to bengal to join in on the fun.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by Nonlinear FC »

TWILTS
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Pruitt »

sancarlos wrote: Thu Mar 12, 2020 12:35 pm
Johnny Carwash wrote: Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:05 am Spring kicks off with a marriage ceremony for Pruitt and his bride Rosy.
Image
So, it looks like fellatio is part of the ceremony?
That's my girl!

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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Short update today. So, despite the protestations of bengal and Pruitt, the vote is overwhelmingly in favor of accepting the Empire's offer. Bring on the crazed ground sloths!

As promised, the Empire sends three of its "champions" to assist us in the fight: Deneb, Ibarra, and Mai. Before long, the ground sloths appear on the horizon.

Pruitt will be unable to participate in the fight as he had passed out stoned shortly before.
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I've devised a highly sophisticated tactic for this battle, which is to send the champions out first and have them absorb as much damage as possible before subjecting our colonists to any danger. We take cover behind some rocks and open fire as the sloths approach. When they are in close range, the champions rush forward to engage and pound away at them with hammers and swords.

Eventually the first sloth goes down, and P.D.X. emerges from cover to finish it off with a stab to the head. The other sloth dies shortly after from an accumulation of gunshots and hammer blows. The champions Ibarra and Deneb die of their wounds, but there are no repercussions for us.
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As a reward for successfully fulfilling the Empire's request, we receive the psychic soothe pulser, whose function I still need to figure out (or sell). Additionally, bengal is bestowed the title of Freeholder. This is a level below BFJ and grants the special ability of: nothing. Congratulations!
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by Sabo »

Mmmmm ... crazed ground sloth meat!
Birds don’t suck. They lack the necessary anatomical structures to do so.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by Ryan »

Do we get to keep Mai? He/she seems important.
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Ryan wrote: Fri Mar 13, 2020 9:04 am Do we get to keep Mai? He/she seems important.
Nope, they leave as soon as the quest is resolved.

Also, I was less than forthcoming about the other two "dying of their wounds" when it was really because I forgot they needed medical attention and left them there.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by Pruitt »

Good luck guys - I'll be with you in spirit.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North - NEW POLL

Post by govmentchedda »

I'm looking down on you like Biggie from above.

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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Johnny Carwash »

This latest random-generated new colonist I make into a Swamper ought to really be something. Any volunteers?
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by A_B »

Clearly swampcrash stalwart zipper.



Or gpj who actually is funny.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by tennbengal »

Heh.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Ryan »

More like the Bore-us-all Forest
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by brian »

tennbengal wrote: Sat Mar 14, 2020 12:56 amHeh.
Heh.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Johnny Carwash »

The game decides to fuck us over by hitting us with a cold snap that sends temperatures plummeting to 1F in the middle of summer, killing our crops. It passes and we re-plant, but will likely be in vain as the harvest won't be ready before the end of fall. Going to be another tough winter.

To help mitigate the food situation, bengal's research now allows us to build hydroponics basins, which let us grow food indoors year-round so long as we keep their environments properly lit and heated. It's not an efficient replacement for natural crops, so we'll still need to watch our food supplies.
Image

We finally convince Ryan to join. He shortly thereafter insults P.D.X.'s wife's culture.

A while ago a silver meteorite had landed nearby. Since silver is the currency of this game, we essentially just received a giant chunk of money from outer space. We break it down and add it to our stocks.
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A colony's accumulated "wealth" is used to determine the likelihood that you'll attract traders as well as raiders, so it's a double-edged sword.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Our friends from Magumi's Burglars launch another raid. This time they're more clever and send attackers from multiple angles, forcing us to divide our forces. It's a tough fight, but we prevail.

Our group to the south defeats the main attack.
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Over to the west, P.D.X. mercilessly shivs Cheech Marin to death.
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And in the north, Pruitt and Ryan take down this dude. Pruitt seems to enjoy it while Ryan appears morally conflicted.
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Afterwards, the customary victory cigar.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Another transport pod crashes nearby and this time it's popular Swamper and rap impresario Gunpowder!
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Gunpowder grew up in a superstitious society that believed him to be the product of a coupling between a human and a snake demon, rumors he did his best to confirm by showing clear psychopathic tendencies in his youth. Despite this baggage, he grew up to be a successful practitioner of homeopathic medicine. He refuses to do manual labor and is also a pyromaniac.

We detain Gunpowder in a prison cell, where BFJ visits him regularly in an attempt to recruit him. Some interesting conversational choices here. WTF, BFJ?
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by mister d »

Do we have an auction to see who gets that one as their new sig line?
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Gunpowder »

BFJ really knows how to get a conversation started
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by rass »

Need to know whose pubic hair was the subject of that conversation.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Johnny Carwash »

One more update for today.

Another megawolverine attacks us, but we're able to handle it more easily than the one that killed chedda. It tears off P.D.X.'s left ear and he responds by cutting off its tail. Finally the others bring it down with an accumulation of shots.
Image

Our remote outpost finally makes contact with a passing trade ship and we're able to trade a bunch of BFJ's sculptures for some critical supplies. Here's a look at some of the additional works we sold:
- a chemist eating a pea
- a self-portrait of BFJ playing chess
- bengal losing a billiard game and massaging his wrists while five partridges play nearby
- another self portrait of BFJ making a sculpture while covered in "grime" (but not vomit this time)
- Pruitt being disabled in a "cowardly, half-hearted way" while a gardener watches

Also, we sell the psychic soothe pulser we got for completing the Empire's request for $403 rather than the $600 they told us it was worth.

Should point out that as of this moment we have 69 units of 420. Nice.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Ryan »

Hair Safety Tips, please
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by tennbengal »

bengal losing a billiard game and massaging his wrists while five partridges play nearby
Would buy this.
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