RIMWORLD 2020: The Great White North

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampers in Outer Fuckin' Space - NEW POLL: Who dies first?

Post by A_B »

I can see bengal pissing, yes.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampers in Outer Fuckin' Space - NEW POLL: Who dies first?

Post by tennbengal »

A_B wrote: Sat Mar 07, 2020 11:36 am I can see bengal pissing, yes.
Cool - its sort of a niche porn market usually.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampers in Outer Fuckin' Space - NEW POLL: Who dies first?

Post by govmentchedda »

I see it.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampers in Outer Fuckin' Space - NEW POLL: Who dies first?

Post by Pruitt »

Raised on the Tundra - a forest is a piece of cake.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampers in Outer Fuckin' Space - NEW POLL: Who dies first?

Post by DSafetyGuy »

tennbengal wrote: Sat Mar 07, 2020 11:49 am
A_B wrote: Sat Mar 07, 2020 11:36 am I can see bengal pissing, yes.
Cool - its sort of a niche porn market usually.
Maybe that's what Bengal should put on the front page on Monday mornings when it is not football season.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampers in Outer Fuckin' Space - NEW POLL: Who dies first?

Post by bfj »

govmentchedda wrote: Sat Mar 07, 2020 12:01 pmI see it.
Nice diaper btw.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampers in Outer Fuckin' Space - NEW POLL: Who dies first?

Post by rass »

Johnny Carwash wrote: Sat Mar 07, 2020 11:35 am Testing to see if you guys can see this GIF:

Image
Looks more like TENNBENGA to me.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampers in Outer Fuckin' Space - NEW POLL: Who dies first?

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Here we go...

So here is our world. We'll be staking out our settlement in the "Choguabrei Forest" to the upper left.

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And here are the other factions we'll be dealing with, most of which would be pretty good '90s band names. The Red Empire here is part of the new "Royalty" addition to the game, which I don't fully understand yet, but apparently involves royal powers asking/commanding you to do stuff for them, among other things.

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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampers in Outer Fuckin' Space - NEW POLL: Who dies first?

Post by Johnny Carwash »

So here's where we've landed, in the middle of the boreal forest. Most of the area is choked with trees we'll need to clear to build, but we'll never be at a loss for wood resources. The dark green areas are marshes.

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Our moose is named Horus. We sort out our initial gear: chedda and bengal get the guns due to their combat experience, and P.D.X. gets a knife. Pruitt and BFJ will have to use their fists if it comes to it for now.

After a couple days we've got the first traces of a settlement in place with a basic barrack room and a few farms to establish a food supply.

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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampers in Outer Fuckin' Space - NEW POLL: Who dies first?

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Alright, here's our first event related to royalty: We get a message that Helena, a noble of the Red Empire, is being chased by an angry goose and needs our help. If we successfully rescue her and return her home, one of us will be awarded the title of "Yeoman" and receive an implant that gives him psychic powers. We cautiously accept.

Here comes Helena. In case you were getting any romantic notions of canoodling with a princess, she looks like she's about the size of J.J. Watt and is a "royal bastard" who also has a drug problem.
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And here comes the goose after her:
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bengal and chedda run out to engage the goose and dispatch it without much trouble. Here's the extremely high-fidelity action scene below, spoilered in case the GIF is too taxing on your system:
[+] spoiler
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Helena takes shelter in our meager accommodations while awaiting the arrival of her shuttle. Pruitt decides to hit on her by talking about yams. Smooth one, Pruitt.

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After a short time, Helena's shuttle arrives and whisks her away to safety, completing our quest and granting us our reward. The game warns me that "those with titles tend to become haughty and needy." Since BFJ was already an entitled narcissist, I decide to let him be the one who gets the title of "Yeoman," which I think indicates the lowest possible level that isn't a worthless peasant. I'll hold off on installing his psychic implant for now.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by tennbengal »

I am so happy. When the quarantine comes, this thread will be the only thing I need. Plus food and water I suppose.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by duff »

Install the implant to see what kind of powers BFJ gets from it. It doesn't require surgery, they just shove it up their nose and it somehow implants in their brain. No one else can use it, or if they do when they use their powers it tells the royal leaders and they become angry.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by wlu_lax6 »

duff wrote: Mon Mar 09, 2020 8:15 am Install the implant to see what kind of powers BFJ gets from it. It doesn't require surgery, they just shove it up their nose and it somehow implants in their brain. No one else can use it, or if they do when they use their powers it tells the royal leaders and they become angry.
Image

Image
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Ryan »

Guy who works in television and has massive hands: "You know, starchy tubers are quite something..."
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by mister d »

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Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampers in Outer Fuckin' Space - NEW POLL: Who dies first?

Post by Johnny Carwash »

rass wrote: Sat Mar 07, 2020 2:54 pm Looks more like TENNBENGA to me.
It took me two days to get this, but I did. I think.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Giff »

The Green Ridge Pact sounds like an Americana supergroup.
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Ryan »

New Hampshire legend

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he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by bfj »

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BFJ is the town wizard who runs a magic shop. He also has a golem that he has trained to attack anti-Semites.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampers in Outer Fuckin' Space - NEW POLL: Who dies first?

Post by Johnny Carwash »

A few days later we get an alarm that a bear in the vicinity is hunting our moose Horus. chedda and bengal rush out and bring down the bear in a hail of bullets. Pruitt insists on finishing it off with his bare hands, which he appears to enjoy a little too much.
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Another animal attack a while later, as chedda is charged by a hungry cougar (not that kind). He tries to shoot it with his rifle, but it closes the distance, and bengal and P.D.X. have to come to his aid. We kill the cougar, but chedda and bengal are badly scraped up. Fortunately, it wasn't anything permanently crippling, and they recover after a few days of medical care.

Nearing the end of summer, we get a shot of bad luck as a blight destroys all of our potato crop and some of our corn. We rush to get new plantings in so we can hopefully harvest by the end of the growing season.

Meanwhile, bengal attempts to relieve himself of some stress by daydreaming in a puddle of his own vomit.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampers in Outer Fuckin' Space - NEW POLL: Who dies first?

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Now a 56-year-old muffalo shaman named Rosy is being chased by an angry beaver and offers to join our colony if we give her shelter. Rosy is neurotic, has an annoying voice, and is incapable of empathy, but on the bright side is good at hand-to-hand combat.

More bad luck as a cold snap hits us in the early fall, sending temperatures below zero and killing our already-stressed crops. This means we'll likely have to go without a harvest and have to spend the winter subsisting on hunting/wild berries/pets/each other, in some order.

Oh shit. A "megawolverine," which is a wolverine the size of a grizzly bear, decides to go after our moose Horus. We rush out to defend, but not before Horus is badly mauled and the megawolverine turns on chedda next.
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chedda and bengal get in a few shots but the wolverine is still standing, so we send everyone to swarm it and put everything they can into the fight. Finally after a brutal struggle, P.D.X. brings down the megawolverine by stabbing it in the kidney.
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We drag Horus inside to tend to him, but it will be tough as we're running low on medical supplies. But in our rush to save the moose, we've neglected to notice that chedda, who walked away from the fight on his own accord, has now collapsed from blood loss. We attempt to do what we can for chedda, but it's too late and he dies.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Johnny Carwash »

On the bright side, Pruitt's weird pick-up artist act actually works on Rosy and they become lovers after he makes fun of her diet.
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They express a desire to have a double bed so they can "sleep together." I don't have private quarters set up yet, so I'll have to build it in the common barrack room. The floating hearts here represent them gettin' it on. I can't figure out what position this would be called:
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BFJ installs his psychic implant, which grants him the ability to stun people with his mind for a brief period of time.

As winter sets in, we scramble to stockpile as much as we can, building a freezer so nothing will spoil. Fortunately, we had a run of large animals to provide meat, including herds of musk oxen, wild boar, and the megawolverine that killed chedda. That should keep us stocked for a while, but whether we make it through the winter will be dependent on whatever wildlife we can find roaming the landscape during subzero temperatures and blizzards.

BFJ's sculpting workshop is now up and running, so here's the much-anticipated update on his initial creations:
- Rosy crouching next to a fire while covered in frost
- two pirates in a pose that "conveys the emotions of cruelty"
- Rosy trying to start a fire while exhaling clouds of fog
- bengal killing a wild boar "seemingly without remorse"
- Pruitt watching with surprise as a meteorite falls to the surface
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by tennbengal »

I feel like the bear-sized wolverine attack is extreme bad luck, but I am not liking that our battle moose hasn't really been much of a help so far.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Ryan »

"Rosy died on the way back to her home planet"
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Nonlinear FC »

tennbengal wrote: Mon Mar 09, 2020 11:46 am I feel like the bear-sized wolverine attack is extreme bad luck, but I am not liking that our battle moose hasn't really been much of a help so far.
Moose makes for a really good stew.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampers in Outer Fuckin' Space - NEW POLL: Who dies first?

Post by Pruitt »

Johnny Carwash wrote: Mon Mar 09, 2020 11:42 am Now a 56-year-old muffalo shaman named Rosy is being chased by an angry beaver and offers to join our colony if we give her shelter. Rosy is neurotic, has an annoying voice, and is incapable of empathy, but on the bright side is good at hand-to-hand combat.
Sounds like my kind of woman. Actually sounds like my first girlfriend.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by govmentchedda »

On the plus side, I did vote that I would die first.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by A_B »

govmentchedda wrote: Mon Mar 09, 2020 12:47 pm On the plus side, I did vote that I would die first.
Me too!
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Johnny Carwash »

So, doing some math:

- Each season in the game lasts 15 days.
- We currently have about 100 meals stored.
- From what I'm reading, each person eats about 2 meals per day.
- We have 5 people currently, so that's 10 meals per day.

So yeah, we're going to have to hope for a decent hunting haul over the winter to keep alive. Add to that we're basically in Space Saskatchewan and it will probably be a little ways into the spring before we'll be able to plant or forage.

And if you were wondering, Horus the moose would feed us for about two days if we need it.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by mister d »

Dedda.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Ryan »

Johnny Carwash wrote: Mon Mar 09, 2020 1:27 pmAnd if you were wondering, Horus the moose would feed us for about two days if we need it.
Like, with grapes and fans and stuff? That sounds nice.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Johnny Carwash »

As winter approaches, we have our first run-in with the raider faction Magumi's Burglars. Just one of them this time, but here's a twist: it's "Karina," who happens to be BFJ's girlfriend:
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Their relationship apparently doesn't preclude her from attacking us as she heads for our base packing a machine gun. A firefight erupts until a well-placed shot from bengal blows Karina's head completely off. BFJ is sad. Pruitt takes her gun.
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Heartbreak aside, we're making out better during the winter than I expected. Plenty of large game such as wild horses, elk, moose (not Horus)(yet) have kept our pantry amply stocked with meat.

The mounting stresses start to take a hold as P.D.X., still broken up over the loss of chedda, goes on an insulting spree, including this low blow about Pruitt's mom, delivered while Pruitt is having sex with Rosy:
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This is followed by BFJ wandering in a catatonic state over us killing Karina until he collapses outdoors and takes a few days to recover. Then bengal throws a tantrum, bashing furniture and knocking dents in the wall:
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Some good news is that Pruitt and Rosy are now engaged, and will hold a marriage ceremony at the base at some point in the future.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Johnny Carwash »

We're mid-way through winter now when Horus the moose decides to peace out and return to the wild, leaving the vicinity completely:
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On the bright side, a local hare self-domesticates and joins us as a pet. bengal names him Sunshine. Maybe this one will work out better. At least he eats less.

Maguma's Burglars are back, and this time there's three of them. We'll try a tactic here. We hide behind this rock outcropping, then once the first one rounds the corner BFJ will use his psychic powers to stun him, and thne the others will move out to attack.
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[+] GIF
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It works out well, and we kill them all, escaping with just a few minor cuts. Also they left some beer.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Another new colonist joins us, "Belle", who is also P.D.X.'s wife! Belle has spent most of her adult life in prison and is incapable of empathy or social interaction. She also has an annoying voice. Looks like P.D.X. and Pruitt share a type.

BFJ still can't get over Karina and has another mental break, this time going on an insulting spree of his own. He tosses a few remarks at bengal while bengal is busy conducting technological research. But bengal isn't going to take this shit sitting down, and a full-fledged fight breaks out!
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[+] GIF
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The one-sided fight is over quickly and BFJ suffers several bruises, along with bites to both of his legs (WTF bengal?!)

Amidst all the recent tumult, BFJ manages to produce a few more sculptures:
- a whip next to a campsite
- self-portrait of BFJ making a sculpture while covered in grime
- two jewelers and tailors eating cauliflower with seven toads in the foreground (this one is classified as a "masterwork")
- Pruitt tense with energy as he loses a game of horseshoes. It is done in an "erotic style"
- P.D.X. watching BFJ's girlfriend Karina, who we killed, disrobing while covered in "unexplained moisture"

So after all the tension, we finally make it to spring without losing much more than a moose.
Last edited by Johnny Carwash on Tue Mar 10, 2020 6:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by rass »

I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Pruitt »

Johnny Carwash wrote: Tue Mar 10, 2020 6:39 am Some good news is that Pruitt and Rosy are now engaged, and will hold a marriage ceremony at the base at some point in the future.
Yeah, and not everyone is getting an invitation.

Talk about my mother that way... good thing Rosy's here to keep me centred.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Nonlinear FC »

This new version seems... wild.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by tennbengal »

I can't believe I campaigned for moose and he just peace'd out. I suck.
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by bfj »

Bengal’s lucky I didn’t psychic stun his ass. He should be thankful our kids went to the same HS or POW!
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Re: RIMWORLD 2020: Swampville VIII: The Great White North

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Spring kicks off with a marriage ceremony for Pruitt and his bride Rosy. P.D.X.'s reaction suggests he's not sure this will end well.
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They get to spend their honeymoon fighting off another attack from Magumi's Burglars. Our marksmanship has improved to the point where make short work of them before we're in any real danger. Also they left more beer.
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BFJ, Rosy, and Belle get sick with something called "gut worms," which doesn't sound good.

Sunshine, our pet hare, ends up being hunted by a cougar that has sneaked in to our base, who promptly bites Sunshine's head off before we can come to his rescue. Probably wasn't a good idea to get attached to a small mammal in the middle of a predator-infested wilderness. We killed the cougar, if that's any consolation.
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The rest of the spring passes mostly uneventfully, and at the start of summer we harvest our first crop of rice, meaning that for the first time since last fall we'll be eating something other than meat.

BFJ's persistent gut worms cause him serious pain and he goes on another insulting spree, calling Pruitt a chimpanzee and deriding his facial hair. In response, Pruitt compares BFJ's aunt to a trout.
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