brian wrote: ↑Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:45 pm
Rosie, Jack, Mark Best, Shawn Duffy, Aaron, Jo Poe, Jodie, couple others from the real old days.
That's a good crew right there. I don't remember Jo Poe, though. I'd love to talk to Rosie again. She was my cubicle neighbor and we had some nice talks over the months.
My third training install was a two-week trip to Bismarck, ND, and I did it with Rosie (with Sam coming for the second week). When we flew home to Detroit, Rosie's girlfriend was waiting for her at the gate with a bouquet of roses. I said my goodbyes to Rosie at the gate, and her girlfriend shot me a look like "OK, you had her for two weeks, now FUCK OFF."
So, I fucked off and got my luggage and drove home.
DSafetyGuy wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 9:58 am
We got asked to be part of a birthday parade at my five-year-old's classmate's house next week.
People are hilarious. God forbid junior doesn't have a shitload of people to celebrate their birthday one year just because mom and dad don't want to try to explain the concept of altruism to a five-year-old (which I'll grant probably isn't easy, but still)
DSafetyGuy wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 9:58 am
We got asked to be part of a birthday parade at my five-year-old's classmate's house next week.
People are hilarious. God forbid junior doesn't have a shitload of people to celebrate their birthday one year just because mom and dad don't want to try to explain the concept of altruism to a five-year-old (which I'll grant probably isn't easy, but still)
I don't agree. I'll let people manufacture joy where they can.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
DSafetyGuy wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 9:58 am
We got asked to be part of a birthday parade at my five-year-old's classmate's house next week.
People are hilarious. God forbid junior doesn't have a shitload of people to celebrate their birthday one year just because mom and dad don't want to try to explain the concept of altruism to a five-year-old (which I'll grant probably isn't easy, but still)
Honestly, my son is going to be pretty fired up to wave and yell "Happy Birthday" at one of his friends, which is going to be a pretty good thing, so that's enough for me. Heck, he may even get to see another friend or two in the backseat of another car.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”
Maybe I'm misunderstanding what the proposal is here. I got the impression they were proposing a birthday party, but if it's just a bunch of people walking by the kid's house 10 feet apart and waving then that's not a big deal.
brian wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 10:06 am
Maybe I'm misunderstanding what the proposal is here. I got the impression they were proposing a birthday party, but if it's just a bunch of people walking by the kid's house 10 feet apart and waving then that's not a big deal.
Driving up their driveway to their house in a parade of cars (they have a long driveway and a loop in front of the house).
Last edited by DSafetyGuy on Thu Apr 02, 2020 10:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”
brian wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 10:06 am
Maybe I'm misunderstanding what the proposal is here. I got the impression they were proposing a birthday party, but if it's just a bunch of people walking by the kid's house 10 feet apart and waving then that's not a big deal.
Driving up their driveway to their house in a parade of cars.
Yeah, I was totally misunderstanding what "parade" meant in this context. Anything safe to make things easier for the kids who are cooped up at home is a good thing.
It's funny... This is a good way to discern who watches local/national TV news.
They are sprinkling these stories of weddings/birthday parades in to lighten the mood every broadcast. I'm sure the novelty will wear off this week, but it has been a mainstay so far.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
brian wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 10:10 am
Yeah, I was totally misunderstanding what "parade" meant in this context. Anything safe to make things easier for the kids who are cooped up at home is a good thing.
You're a terrible american for thinking one thing then being presented with facts and changing your mind.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
Nonlinear FC wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 10:13 am
It's funny... This is a good way to discern who watches local/national TV news.
They are sprinkling these stories of weddings/birthday parades in to lighten the mood every broadcast. I'm sure the novelty will wear off this week, but it has been a mainstay so far.
And that's not a shot, brian.
Watching local news is an occupational hazard. National news is just a habit thing for the wife and I.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
Nonlinear FC wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 10:13 am
It's funny... This is a good way to discern who watches local/national TV news.
They are sprinkling these stories of weddings/birthday parades in to lighten the mood every broadcast. I'm sure the novelty will wear off this week, but it has been a mainstay so far.
And that's not a shot, brian.
Watching local news is an occupational hazard. National news is just a habit thing for the wife and I.
I didn't take it that way. I absolutely don't watch either the local or national news except on the rarest of occasions, so you're right.
DaveInSeattle wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 10:45 am
My younger daughter's 16th birthday is in a couple of weeks. Trying to think of something cool/fun to do for her.
You could ask a bunch of her friends to parade past your house in their cars!
Oldest is dyeing my youngest's hair blue. They've been getting along wonderfully since the process started so that dye is worth whatever my wife paid for it.
So I had to go to the bank to do something not onlineable.
It's crazy, you have to go to this secret door and peak in. They open it and ask you questions, have you been out of the country etc.
Then at the teller counter you have to stand 6 feet away and talk to a person wearing a mask. Then reach over and hand papers to sign back and forth.
Kung Fu movies are like porn. There's 1 on 1, then 2 on 1, then a group scene..
So the wife and kids got word today that there will be no in-school learning for the rest of the year in Indiana. All three are bummed about the announcement.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
DaveInSeattle wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 10:45 am
My younger daughter's 16th birthday is in a couple of weeks. Trying to think of something cool/fun to do for her.
Maybe reach out through social media to a celebrity she likes (musician?). You never know.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”
"Hey hun, sorry about all this. To make it special, I've had 16 middle aged guys I know from the internet each send a prerecorded message, one for every year you've been alive!"
Johnnie wrote: ↑Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
mister d wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 3:11 pm
"Hey hun, sorry about all this. To make it special, I've had 16 middle aged guys I know from the internet each send a prerecorded message, one for every year you've been alive!"
DaveInSeattle wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 10:45 am
My younger daughter's 16th birthday is in a couple of weeks. Trying to think of something cool/fun to do for her.
Maybe reach out through social media to a celebrity she likes (musician?). You never know.
For often nominal fees, you can get them to record a video message. You'd be surprised who does them and for who cheap.
DaveInSeattle wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 10:45 am
My younger daughter's 16th birthday is in a couple of weeks. Trying to think of something cool/fun to do for her.
Maybe reach out through social media to a celebrity she likes (musician?). You never know.
For often nominal fees, you can get them to record a video message. You'd be surprised who does them and for who cheap.
Most of the Howard Stern Wackpack is on Cameo! Send us her cell phone number, and we can get High Pitch Eric and Tan Mom to send her messages! It'll be like the opposite of Camaroing, but even worse!
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
rass wrote: ↑Thu Apr 02, 2020 12:50 pm
Oldest is dyeing my youngest's hair blue. They've been getting along wonderfully since the process started so that dye is worth whatever my wife paid for it.
My daughter also has blue hair right now. It looks like hell, but sometimes you’ve just got to roll with things.
I may have had a large herbal supplement dose last evening. And then immediately after both my kids come down and decide that's when they want to just hang and talk. They haven't been downstairs in weeks other than for food! I don't think I was forming coherent sentences, but to be honest, i don't recall.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
Both daughters did half pink, half green. One did top of head/bottom of hair while the other split it down the part in the middle. Either way it's adorable.
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
If this is your thing (not sure if this is free or if you already have to be a subscriber though -- the press release isn't clear). Would be smart of them to just make it available for everyone.
ETA: Looks like this is airing on NFL Network, so should be free?
mister d wrote: ↑Fri Apr 03, 2020 11:04 am
I feel like quarantine hair should get its own thread.
When I was packing to move, I found a hair clipper set I bought in college when I was stingy enough to let my roommate cut my hair. I ended up throwing it away, because when am I ever going to need it? Fuck, my Jewfro is going to get crazy in a few more weeks.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
So, I started letting my beard grow out a couple weeks ago and it's coming in completely grey. And, my wife decided that since she can't get to her hairdresser for coloring right now, she's letting her hair go grey.
So, we look like people in those movies where they age at exponential rates.
sancarlos wrote: ↑Fri Apr 03, 2020 12:02 pm
So, I started letting my beard grow out a couple weeks ago and it's coming in completely grey. And, my wife decided that since she can't get to her hairdresser for coloring right now, she's letting her hair go grey.
So, we look like people in those movies where they age at exponential rates.
I hope you took a picture of yourselves pre-quarantine and do a before and after. That could be amazing!
My daughter's principle sent out an email with a great idea. Since we are in the middle of a major historic event, she recommended every kid keep a journal describing what they are feeling and detailing their day-to-day lives in quarantine. She explained how much they will treasure their journal as adults, and how it will serve as a living history for others to study. My son was extremely moved reading The Diary of Anne Frank, so he jumped in and is obsessed with the project. My daughter said she will do it and sounded like she meant it, but I'm sure it's more iPad videos for her...
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
So with all this time on my hands, I'm thinking I'm going to take a crack at writing a video poker guide of sorts.
It would be inaccurate to call it a true gambling manual/guide to compare with a lot of the literature out there, so I'm hoping to try and lean into the fun side of video poker. Certainly going to try to share as much valuable information as possible, but make it clear that it's not coming from some egghead who can do pi out to 100 places by memory. I'm thinking I'll have some chapter on video poker philosophy, a little bit of memoir, a little bit of fiction maybe even (I have catalogued several different ideas for various chapters/things to cover. Some might make it, others might not.)
My ask is I wrote a short introduction, hopefully a kind of manifesto for what I want to do with this. Hoping you guys might take a look and offer some feedback. Mostly looking for if what I've written here would entice you to read further, to check out (a currently theoretical) table of contents, etc., etc.
No knowledge or experience with VP should be necessary.
The Losers Guide
To Video Poker
Introduction
A fair first question is why you should be interested in a book explaining how to lose at video poker. 'I can do that already without paying some schmuck to tell me,' you're thinking.
Possibly you’re not familiar with video poker or maybe even somewhat intimidated by it and the prospect of adding another casino game where you’re likely to come out a loser isn’t appealing.
Despite the title, you don’t HAVE to be a loser at video poker. I’ll explain what's necessary to come out ahead in the long run playing video poker. There are many great free resources online and I’ll tell you where to find them.
Everyone wants to win, but not everyone wants to put in the work necessary to be a winner. Hey, it’s not easy. If it was easy, everyone would do it and If everyone won, the casino wouldn’t offer the game. This is as true of video poker as any casino game. Almost any game offering the player an exploitable advantage over the long term isn’t going to remain in the casino. Video poker is no different. (The "almost" is there to account for the rarest of unicorns -- video poker machines with more than 100 percent payouts. They do exist, but I'll explain just how rare they are and how difficult it is to actually earn serious money with them.)
It may be hard to be a net winner at video poker, but it doesn’t mean the game isn’t fun or worth playing. When played correctly and without needing any special math abilities, it provides as close to an even money experience as any game in the casino and one that is available in probably every casino in America.
You’ll see there are many ways and strategies to maximize your enjoyment of video poker and minimizing the toll on your bankroll. I feel compelled to write this book because most gambling literature, especially about video poker, is geared towards trying to “beat the game”. This is usually to the detriment of the person reading the book because anyone who doesn’t obsessively think about beating the house every moment is a moron, a fact some of the fun-sucking vampires who write a lot of these books make abundantly clear. Well, I don't like feeling like a moron because I want to have some fun.
The vampires often espouse that you should never play a game in a casino that you can’t beat in the long term. That's true. It's based in math and the math is indisputable. If you gamble at anything without an edge for an unlimited amount of time, you will eventually lose all of your money. I'm not going to tell you any different because it's just not true. If your only goal is to win money at gambling, you SHOULD never play a game in a casino that you don’t have a long-term advantage at.
What they fail to tell you is that most gamblers aren't playing for an unlimited amount of time. They're going to the casino with their friends for a few hours a week or taking a trip to Vegas once a year and they want to have fun, dammit. They want to have a few drinks, have a good time and ideally go home with more money than they came with. I can't promise that will happen every time, but I can promise it should happen more often.
I’ll explain some of the extraordinary steps that you have to go through to make a living playing video poker. It is possible –there are dozens, if not hundreds of people in my hometown of Las Vegas who either derive their entire income or significantly supplement their income by playing video poker. Those people are not even 1 percent of video poker players, they’re 1/100th of one percent. That's one in every ten thousand. The biggest pros even have to prevent people like you from getting on the machines when they're at their juiciest, which I’ll tell you all about.
But don’t be upset. I’m not one of those pros either. Just because you’re not going to be able to beat the game doesn’t mean that the game has to beat you. If you’re anything like me, you love to gamble but you hate to lose. You’re realistic about the advantage that the house has over even educated gamblers and you want to chip away at that edge wherever possible.
That’s where this book comes in. I’ve been playing video poker for more than a decade, sometimes for the highest stakes available in the casino. I’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way because I didn’t have a book like this to use as a guide while navigating through the video poker world. Trial and error can be useful, but not always very profitable. I want you to learn from my mistakes and be able to enjoy going to the casino because you know in the long run you’re going to have a great time and the casino isn’t going to take you for a ride.
In fact, sometimes you’ll be the one putting the dent in the casino’s bottom line. As I’ve said, I’m not a net winner for my lifetime, but there are some casinos where I’ve made scores big enough to sting them for a little while. (Of course, I’ve had some casinos where I can’t seem to get a big hand to save my life. As we’ll see, that’s part of the joy and agony of the game. As time goes on, you’ll start to find some wisdom and lessons in the randomness and philosophy of video poker. We’ll cover some of that as well.)
I can’t promise you riches or fame but I can hopefully promise you’ll enjoy reading this book and when you’re done reading it, you’ll enjoy video poker more and be a smarter, more profitable player.
One last thing – it’s heresy in some corners of the gambling writing community to acknowledge you’re playing a game that in the long run can’t be beat. As I’ve said, if everyone could easily beat the game, the game wouldn’t exist. So we have a bit of a philosophical argument about the ethics of writing a book and giving you advice that could cost you money. But we’re both going into this with our eyes wide open and I’ll explain very clearly how you can take advantage of every available tool to return as much money as possible into your pocket. Add up all the edge you'll get back and hopefully you'll be right around breaking even. If breaking even doesn't sound like fun, remember that breaking even can come with some great casino complementaries as well. We'll cover how to try and maximize those as well.
Finally, I’ll make a pledge that if anyone finds any advice in this book that isn’t completely honest or accurate, I will acknowledge it in the most public way possible in as many places as possible. Who knows, maybe some of the fun-sucking vampires insisting you shouldn’t step foot into a casino without the best of it will loosen up and have a little more fun after reading this. Because video poker is fun. I hope you have half as much fun playing as I did writing this book for you.
Pruitt wrote: ↑Sat Apr 04, 2020 6:31 am
Fascinating and entertaining.
But are there really people who can make a living at video poker? I would love to hear about that.
Yeah, it's really, really, really hard. And frankly too much of a grind for most people. Some are also part of teams that vulture around town looking for progressive meters that get really high and then they lock up the machines, playing until they hit.
