Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by tennbengal » Thu Apr 16, 2020 9:56 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:
Thu Apr 16, 2020 9:55 pm
Yeah, this might literally be the worst big-budget movie I've ever seen. For all I had heard, didn't think it would actually be this bad.
And it just drags on and on. And is about to get super ugly, if you can believe it.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 9:56 pm

"Get me a beer bitch!" Gonna call down and say that to my wife. I'll let you guys know how it goes.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by Johnny Carwash » Thu Apr 16, 2020 9:56 pm

"Get me a beer, bitch." Now she remembers why she fell in love.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy » Thu Apr 16, 2020 9:57 pm

The baby explains a part of his crazy motivation all over the place.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 9:57 pm

OK, I'm getting a divorce. Any of you guys have an extra bedroom?

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy » Thu Apr 16, 2020 9:58 pm

That is some sweet wood paneling. Definitely office-worthy.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 9:58 pm

This has been a wild ride in the high-stakes world of being a nude backup dancer.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by tennbengal » Thu Apr 16, 2020 9:58 pm

That Esterhaus thought he had established a through-line on their "relationship" to make that last scene pay off is coke-addled amazing.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:00 pm

Give them credit for most of the $45 million being on-screen I guess.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by tennbengal » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:00 pm

Still puzzling over where this is all going/leading up to.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:00 pm

It's not cheap to film in Vegas period and these show scenes have to be the most expensive part from a production standpoint.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:02 pm

Jesus, what a bizarre twist.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by Johnny Carwash » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:02 pm

Holy fuck, this is amazingly bad, and I'm not using "amazing" metaphorically. I'm literally amazed something this bad was produced and released.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:03 pm

With as cutthroat as everyone has been thus far, it seems like someone would get pushed down the stairs once a week, minimum.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:04 pm

brian wrote:
Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:00 pm
It's not cheap to film in Vegas period and these show scenes have to be the most expensive part from a production standpoint.
Yeah, rehearsals for all the cast, shooting so many takes including coverage, rental of the theater...
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:04 pm

I knew once she went down the stairs it was leading to this, but on what planet do they think that some rando is going to fill seats for this show?

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:05 pm

The closest comp to a show like this I've seen in Vegas is one with a Playboy Playmate who I forget but will look up later, but when she went out for a pregnancy break they replaced her with Coco.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by tennbengal » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:06 pm

I mean, who doesn’t figure press would be blitzing after that ? What planet does esterhaus live on?

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:06 pm

I wonder if Esterhaus started writing this thinking "I'm going to write a movie where everyone's motivations are completely fucking random!"

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:07 pm

The show is at Stardust so the Caesars thing...yeah you know. It makes no sense.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by tennbengal » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:08 pm

Oh no, the good character probably needs to be punished now (esterhaus, probably)

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:08 pm

Everyone has a price.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:08 pm

As much as montages are a cheap cheat in most movies, this movie probably really could have used one at some point up to here.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by Johnny Carwash » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:10 pm

"I like your songs" / "I like your ass" brings back memories of the time I met Paul Anka.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:10 pm

tennbengal wrote:
Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:08 pm
Oh no, the good character probably needs to be punished now (esterhaus, probably)
She'll get HIV from sleeping with Andrew, most likely.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:11 pm

DSafetyGuy wrote:
Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:10 pm
tennbengal wrote:
Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:08 pm
Oh no, the good character probably needs to be punished now (esterhaus, probably)
She'll get HIV from sleeping with Andrew, most likely.
Or, this.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:11 pm

I have the same feeling I had the first time I saw The Room where I want to go back and watch the movie from the beginning to make sure I really remembered the movie the way it happened.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by Johnny Carwash » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:11 pm

Disappointed by Kevin Garnett there.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:12 pm

Not sure what the gang-rape scene is supposed to accomplish.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by tennbengal » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:12 pm

DSafetyGuy wrote:
Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:11 pm
DSafetyGuy wrote:
Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:10 pm
tennbengal wrote:
Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:08 pm
Oh no, the good character probably needs to be punished now (esterhaus, probably)
She'll get HIV from sleeping with Andrew, most likely.
Or, this.
It’s just so out of left field. Nothing in this movie makes any sense.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:12 pm

That got dark fast.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by tennbengal » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:13 pm

brian wrote:
Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:12 pm
Not sure what the gang-rape scene is supposed to accomplish.
It is an non-sensical as everything else, only, just so much worse because of what it is. Esterhaus is an evil asshole.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by Johnny Carwash » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:13 pm

Police aren't here because Al Pacino has them helping him arrest Hank Azaria.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by tennbengal » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:14 pm

Oh noes, her past has caught up with her!

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:14 pm

And that was a turn.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:14 pm

I mean, OK -- the ice on the nipples thing is supposed to be because she was a hooker but really now that makes even less fucking sense tbh

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:15 pm

This might be the most misogynistic movie ever though it doesn't really have a high opinion of men either.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by Johnny Carwash » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:16 pm

You know, there are actually scenes here where Berkley is kind of good, all things considered.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by brian » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:16 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:
Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:16 pm
You know, there are actually scenes here where Berkley is kind of good, all things considered.
Yeah, it's totally not her fault.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Showgirls (1995), Thursday, April 16 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy » Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:16 pm

I feel like the nail painting was preceding her revenge tour of murder.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”

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