The Swamp

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:35 pm**

When your house in the San Fernando Valley isn't nice enough to rent out for porn shoots, you rent it out for movies like this.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:37 pm**

Cap ordering some serious violations of human rights here.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:38 pm**

Totally worth it for the "undercover cop" joke.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:38 pm**

That "undercover cop" line was almost clever.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:39 pm**

Was there a time when the vest of a three-piece suit was intentionally that short?

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:39 pm**

Those trees with the spongy bark that peels off are definitely a Southern Cal thing.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:40 pm**

B.B. King taking the time to apply his gunshot makeup.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:40 pm**

I wanna do coke one day with whoever chorioographed these gunfights.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:41 pm**

They saved he TV for last, put two bullet holes in it, then there was only one when Samurai Cop got his man.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:44 pm**

It's almost endearing how clever I'll bet the screenwriter thought that bulletproof vest twist was.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:45 pm**

This movie holds the record for guys stuffing their guns into their waistbands.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:46 pm**

Sweet fuckin' Geo Tracker.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:46 pm**

Frank just killed one of the guys from Color Me Badd.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:46 pm**

How pathetic to not even pay for squibs?

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:47 pm**

RIP world's oldest man with a mullet.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:47 pm**

Suzuki is Japanese for “shitty Jeep”

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:47 pm**

brian wrote: ↑Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:46 pm Sweet fuckin' Geo Tracker.

Suzuki Sidekick! (Although I also thought is was a Tracker on first sight.)

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:49 pm**

Pretty sweet how roughed up the blade of that sword is.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:49 pm**

So this is where I realize what I said earlier but as soon as I posted I realized this was the final faceoff because two whites, duh.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:50 pm**

That was like the lead-up to a sword fight between two four-year-olds.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:50 pm**

This swordfight has the same frame rate as a Buster KEaton movie.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:51 pm**

These scenes with the woman's wig are awesome.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:52 pm**

Just two white American dudes who look like linebackers operating by the code of the samurai.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:54 pm**

Ric Ocasek could sue the compser here.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:54 pm**

The heavy committing seppeku is actually a pretty bad-ass ending if they had done anything to set it up in the previous 90 minutes.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:54 pm**

He's kissing her neck like a seventh-grader thinks adults kiss before they do it.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:55 pm**

So there's the worst movie ever made. Thanks for letting me host. Hope I didn't waste a couple hours of your time.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:55 pm**

I am enjoying how many crew members had the self-respect to be credited by their first names only.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:55 pm**

I had thought this before honestly, but I'm gonna insist in the fall we do Ghost Dog: Way Of The Samurai which is legit, no sarcasm in like my 20 or 30 favorite movies of all-time.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:56 pm**

So did the red head show up for like one shot at the end or was I posting here and miss her getting killed?

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:56 pm**

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:55 pm So there's the worst movie ever made. Thanks for letting me host. Hope I didn't waste a couple hours of your time.

Prime says 4.5 stars out of 5.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:56 pm**

But democracy reigns supreme again, gentlemen. That was a good choice. May we be so blessed in November.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:56 pm**

brian wrote: ↑Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:55 pm I had thought this before honestly, but I'm gonna insist in the fall we do Ghost Dog: Way Of The Samurai which is legit, no sarcasm in like my 20 or 30 favorite movies of all-time.

That's probably far too good of a movie for this.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:56 pm**

rass wrote: ↑Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:56 pm So did the red head show up for like one shot at the end or was I posting here and miss her getting killed?

She showed up for a little more than one shot to get killed.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:57 pm**

DSafetyGuy wrote: ↑Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:56 pm
brian wrote: ↑Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:55 pm I had thought this before honestly, but I'm gonna insist in the fall we do Ghost Dog: Way Of The Samurai which is legit, no sarcasm in like my 20 or 30 favorite movies of all-time.
That's probably far too good of a movie for this.

I do agree of course, but yet I think it could lend itself to a good discussion also?

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:58 pm**

(That said, it's probably better not to do movies you're better off actually watching the whole time instead of watching and typing.)

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:58 pm**

Amazon has some amazing “customers who watched” recommendations. Terror in Beverly Hills with Frank Stallone is on my watch list now

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 10:00 pm**

rass wrote: ↑Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:58 pm Amazon has some amazing “customers who watched” recommendations. Terror in Beverly Hills with Frank Stallone is on my watch list now

I've found some incredible fucked up shit on Amazon that way. I have some recommendations if we start a thread of fucked up shit on Amazon Prime.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2020 10:36 pm**

Red Letter Media did an interview with the main actor a few years back and he's pretty cool and self-aware. A lot of background info about the movie if you're still fascinated by what you saw:

Posted: **Fri Jul 31, 2020 11:12 am**

brian wrote: ↑Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:58 pm (That said, it's probably better not to do movies you're better off actually watching the whole time instead of watching and typing.)

That's the thing for me. It's one thing to watch and type if you've seen the movie many times ("Jackie Brown" worked well this way for most, if not all of us in that thread), but it's hard to pull off paying attention to a serious movie and keep up with the thread.

Feel free to bring back the Forrest Whitaker avatar, though.

The Swamp

Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET