Real or The Onion?

Okay . . . let's try this again.

Moderators: Shirley, brian, ZMan, Sabo

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 13664
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Real or The Onion?

Post by brian » Wed Jul 03, 2013 11:14 am

I missed this thread and this is the perfect link to bring it back:

Curler suspended for doping
Vegas Golden Knights retired numbers:
#58 (To honor victims of 1 October shooting)

User avatar
ZMan
Brandt
Posts: 351
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:47 am
Location: On my ship, the Rocinante

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by ZMan » Wed Jul 03, 2013 3:35 pm

That's some dedication. He 'roided up for games he wasn't even participating in.
Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips!

User avatar
P.D.X.
Donny
Posts: 2983
Joined: Wed Mar 13, 2013 12:31 pm

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by P.D.X. » Tue Jul 23, 2013 3:53 pm


User avatar
Steve of phpBB
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 3132
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 10:44 am

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Steve of phpBB » Tue Jul 23, 2013 5:28 pm

Did they make it to the other side?
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.

User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 9501
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by The Sybian » Tue Jul 23, 2013 7:46 pm

Steve of phpBB wrote:Did they make it to the other side?
Of all people, Steve, I expected you to have some sympathy...
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

User avatar
DSafetyGuy
Donny
Posts: 2969
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:29 pm
Location: Behind the high school

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by DSafetyGuy » Tue Jul 23, 2013 9:28 pm

The Sybian wrote:
Steve of phpBB wrote:Did they make it to the other side?
Of all people, Steve, I expected you to have some sympathy...
Why, were the chickens on bikes?
Stick this in your trophy case.

User avatar
Scottie
Donny
Posts: 2303
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 1:52 am
Location: Warming up in the bullpen.

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Scottie » Tue Jul 23, 2013 9:44 pm

DSafetyGuy wrote:
The Sybian wrote:
Steve of phpBB wrote:Did they make it to the other side?
Of all people, Steve, I expected you to have some sympathy...
Why, were the chickens on bikes?
Straight as boom.
Your own personal AR-15 wielding Jesus

User avatar
Pruitt
The Dude
Posts: 11561
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:02 am
Location: North Shore of Lake Ontario

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Pruitt » Wed Jul 24, 2013 6:07 am

"Maybe he shit out his memory." - Mr. D

User avatar
Sabo
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4165
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:33 am
Location: NE Ohio

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Sabo » Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:59 pm

Sorry, I just got out of the shower.

User avatar
Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 8142
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: ABQ, BITCH!
Contact:

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Johnnie » Mon Aug 26, 2013 5:37 am

Well, it looks like BOTH. (This is from 2008.)

mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.

User avatar
howard
Karl Hungus
Posts: 9467
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:00 pm

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by howard » Tue Feb 11, 2014 9:39 am

Who knows? Maybe, you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom.

Those days are gone forever
Over a long time ago
Oh yeah…

User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 9501
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by The Sybian » Tue Feb 11, 2014 10:52 am


"Recently insured man can't wait to get out there and start injuring himself." Best ad ever.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

User avatar
EdRomero
Brandt
Posts: 494
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2014 9:39 pm

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by EdRomero » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:52 pm


User avatar
testuser2
Brandt
Posts: 368
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 11:53 am

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by testuser2 » Tue Aug 05, 2014 9:33 am

Michigan man throws a party

User avatar
sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 8736
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by sancarlos » Tue Aug 05, 2014 10:00 am

"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian

User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 10637
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by rass » Tue Dec 02, 2014 7:29 am

I felt aswirl with warm secretions.

User avatar
Shirley
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4834
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 2:32 pm

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Shirley » Tue Dec 02, 2014 9:34 am

I honestly can't tell if that's real or not.
Totally Kafkaesque

User avatar
A_B
The Dude
Posts: 11318
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:36 am
Location: Getting them boards like a wolf in the chicken pen.

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by A_B » Thu Dec 04, 2014 8:19 am

certainly expansive during tactical areas and specific zones

User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 10637
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by rass » Thu Dec 04, 2014 8:39 am

I felt aswirl with warm secretions.

User avatar
Brontoburglar
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 3759
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:20 am

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Brontoburglar » Mon Dec 15, 2014 5:20 pm

15-Year-Old Duchess Of McComb, AL Announces Pregnancy

I just laughed really, really, really hard.
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 13664
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by brian » Mon Dec 15, 2014 5:54 pm

Vegas Golden Knights retired numbers:
#58 (To honor victims of 1 October shooting)

User avatar
Johnny Carwash
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 3493
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:57 am
Location: Land of 10,000 Sununus

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Johnny Carwash » Mon Dec 15, 2014 6:05 pm

Do people who browse Uproxx have such delicate sensibilities that they can't handle seeing the word "shit" in print?
"All us Swampers are fountains of useless information. We just have different areas of strength." —sancarlos

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 13664
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by brian » Mon Dec 15, 2014 6:26 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:Do people who browse Uproxx have such delicate sensibilities that they can't handle seeing the word "shit" in print?
That was a close second in my list of favorite things about that article.
Vegas Golden Knights retired numbers:
#58 (To honor victims of 1 October shooting)

User avatar
Johnny Carwash
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 3493
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:57 am
Location: Land of 10,000 Sununus

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Johnny Carwash » Tue Dec 23, 2014 1:04 pm

Christmas At Home With The Family Ruined By Family
RESEARCHERS at the International Research Institute of Studies for International Research Studies have confirmed that the vast majority of Christmases spent at home with the family is absolutely fucking ruined by families.
(Irish Onion equivalent)
"All us Swampers are fountains of useless information. We just have different areas of strength." —sancarlos

User avatar
Jerloma
The Dude
Posts: 5244
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 2:10 pm

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Jerloma » Tue May 05, 2015 1:24 pm

Auburn woman files federal case against all homosexuals


An Auburn woman calling herself an ambassador for God and his son, Jesus Christ, filed a federal lawsuit Friday against all homosexuals.

Sylvia Driskell, 66, said in the suit that she is petitioning the U.S. District Court of Omaha to be heard "in the matter of homosexuality. Is homosexuality a sin, or not a sin?"

In a seven-page letter framed as a lawsuit, she cited Bible passages that described homosexuality as an abomination and against nature, and she said never before has the nation or the state been "besiege(d) by sin."

"Will all the judges of this nation judge God to be a lier [sic]?" Driskell asked.

She said she petitioned the court because she feels it imperative to stand up for the moral principles on which the nation was founded.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

tennbengal
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4481
Joined: Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:07 pm

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by tennbengal » Tue May 05, 2015 1:35 pm

Jerloma wrote:Auburn woman files federal case against all homosexuals


An Auburn woman calling herself an ambassador for God and his son, Jesus Christ, filed a federal lawsuit Friday against all homosexuals.

Sylvia Driskell, 66, said in the suit that she is petitioning the U.S. District Court of Omaha to be heard "in the matter of homosexuality. Is homosexuality a sin, or not a sin?"

In a seven-page letter framed as a lawsuit, she cited Bible passages that described homosexuality as an abomination and against nature, and she said never before has the nation or the state been "besiege(d) by sin."

"Will all the judges of this nation judge God to be a lier [sic]?" Driskell asked.

She said she petitioned the court because she feels it imperative to stand up for the moral principles on which the nation was founded.
You should cross-post this to the politics thread, Carson or Huckabee may have found their VP.

User avatar
howard
Karl Hungus
Posts: 9467
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:00 pm

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by howard » Tue May 05, 2015 1:43 pm

or at least their attorney general
Who knows? Maybe, you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom.

Those days are gone forever
Over a long time ago
Oh yeah…

tennbengal
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4481
Joined: Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:07 pm

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by tennbengal » Tue May 05, 2015 1:48 pm

howard wrote:or at least their attorney general
Like.

User avatar
Jerloma
The Dude
Posts: 5244
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 2:10 pm

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Jerloma » Tue May 05, 2015 1:49 pm

I'm not a lawyer, and I'm completely partial to the female form in matters of sexual attraction, but I would actually pay $ for the opportunity to represent the defense if that thing ever went to court.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

User avatar
govmentchedda
The Dude
Posts: 5606
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:36 pm

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by govmentchedda » Wed May 06, 2015 10:34 pm

Until everything is less insane, I'm mixing weed with wine.

User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 10637
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by rass » Wed May 20, 2015 9:10 pm

Bud
Light
Lime
Lemonade
-arita
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.

User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 9501
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by The Sybian » Thu May 21, 2015 8:54 am

rass wrote:Bud
Light
Lime
Lemonade
-arita
To the Craft Beer Thread! It has to be better than the Bud Strawber-ita.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

User avatar
Johnny Carwash
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 3493
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:57 am
Location: Land of 10,000 Sununus

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Johnny Carwash » Thu Jun 04, 2015 8:02 am

"All us Swampers are fountains of useless information. We just have different areas of strength." —sancarlos

User avatar
Gunpowder
The Dude
Posts: 5941
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:52 am
Location: NAPES, FLURRDA
Contact:

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Gunpowder » Thu Jun 04, 2015 8:36 am

Whatever, this guy did the same thing a few months back:

http://www.naplesnews.com/news/crime/95 ... -the-wheel" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
"Enjoyed this one," Gunpowder told the Burlington Observer. "But it's back to work tomorrow."

User avatar
Johnny Carwash
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 3493
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:57 am
Location: Land of 10,000 Sununus

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Johnny Carwash » Wed Aug 05, 2015 6:27 am

Actual African guy politely explains why he and his people don't particularly give a shit if a lion dies.
In my village in Zimbabwe, surrounded by wildlife conservation areas, no lion has ever been beloved, or granted an affectionate nickname. They are objects of terror.
The American tendency to romanticize animals that have been given actual names and to jump onto a hashtag train has turned an ordinary situation — there were 800 lions legally killed over a decade by well-heeled foreigners who shelled out serious money to prove their prowess — into what seems to my Zimbabwean eyes an absurdist circus.
PETA is calling for the hunter to be hanged. Zimbabwean politicians are accusing the United States of staging Cecil’s killing as a “ploy” to make our country look bad. And Americans who can’t find Zimbabwe on a map are applauding the nation’s demand for the extradition of the dentist, unaware that a baby elephant was reportedly slaughtered for our president’s most recent birthday banquet.

We Zimbabweans are left shaking our heads, wondering why Americans care more about African animals than about African people.
"All us Swampers are fountains of useless information. We just have different areas of strength." —sancarlos

User avatar
howard
Karl Hungus
Posts: 9467
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:00 pm

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by howard » Wed Aug 05, 2015 6:48 am

He sure understands Americans; he must've paid attention the five years he lived in the US.
Who knows? Maybe, you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom.

Those days are gone forever
Over a long time ago
Oh yeah…

User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 10637
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by rass » Wed Dec 02, 2015 7:46 am

I felt aswirl with warm secretions.

User avatar
howard
Karl Hungus
Posts: 9467
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:00 pm

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by howard » Wed Dec 02, 2015 8:56 am

there is some valid internal logic to that. but still
Who knows? Maybe, you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom.

Those days are gone forever
Over a long time ago
Oh yeah…

User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 9501
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by The Sybian » Wed Dec 02, 2015 12:41 pm

howard wrote:there is some valid internal logic to that. but still
I wouldn't be remotely surprised if the Onion article was the source of the idea within Carson's camp. I would think refusing to let them into the US based on misguided racist beliefs would color their judgment of the US, but what do I know.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

User avatar
Pruitt
The Dude
Posts: 11561
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:02 am
Location: North Shore of Lake Ontario

Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Pruitt » Mon Dec 21, 2015 7:14 pm

This Is Enough To Make Me A Huckabee Supporter

$67,000 a year to send your kid to kindergarten. Oberlin.
"Maybe he shit out his memory." - Mr. D

Post Reply