Temporary Pope Resigned, Now A New Temporary Pope Thread

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Thu May 23, 2013 11:22 am

Pope Francis clearly hasn't read Dante's Inferno.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu May 23, 2013 11:58 am

P.D.X. wrote:Throwing a bone to atheists.

Not exactly. According to their theology, "redemption" already happened in the form of this blood sacrifice in Palestine a couple thousand years ago. "Salvation" only comes with accepting the idea that your existence requires redemption and believing in the divinity of all this nonsense. All the Pope is saying is that it's available to atheists. We already knew that and we've already eschewed it because it's not believable and lets face it...kind of creepy.

Now the Pope's life is of negative value. He runs an organization that is a great source of harm to the world. He promotes ideas that have deterred human progress significantly and oppressed and tortured humanity. So what gets him saved? Faith. At the end of the day, it's all about faith.

If the pope wants to convert to my religion of Dontbeadickism, that's fine, but he needs to stop saying shit like this...

He who doesn't pray to the Lord prays to the devil.

Dontbeadickists don't talk like that.

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Thu May 23, 2013 12:35 pm

The idea behind a gun registry is to identify dangers to society; well, and selectively adding to the data banks. Which is why we should have a religion registry given that they are far more dangerous to the minds of humanity.

You? You're Muslim #566781. You? Christian #1679384. You? Zoroastrian #3.

Don't like that? Well, I don't like being told what to be either.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu May 23, 2013 2:14 pm

P.D.X. wrote:Throwing a bone to atheists.

Wow, thank a deity I don't believe in! The leader of a cult full of what I personally find to be an utterly ludicrous belief system said I have a chance of going to a place I don't believe exists when I die, rather than a worse place I don't believe exists. I feel so much better about my afterlife, where I believe I am still going to cease to exist in any form whatsoever. Thanks, guy who wears jewel encrusted robes and the worlds silliest hat!

howard · Post by **howard** » Thu May 23, 2013 3:53 pm

Scottie wrote:The idea behind a gun registry is to identify dangers to society; well, and selectively adding to the data banks. Which is why we should have a religion registry given that they are far more dangerous to the minds of humanity.

You? You're Muslim #566781. You? Christian #1679384. You? Zoroastrian #3.

Don't like that? Well, I don't like being told what to be either.

Wait'll you see the free speech registry! Lord knows (heh) how dangerous speech is.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Fri May 24, 2013 4:24 am

Scottie wrote:The idea behind a gun registry is to identify dangers to society; well, and selectively adding to the data banks. Which is why we should have a religion registry given that they are far more dangerous to the minds of humanity.

You? You're Muslim #566781. You? Christian #1679384. You? Zoroastrian #3.

Don't like that? Well, I don't like being told what to be either.

That is excellent. Man, I wish I were a YouTube superstar. I'd do a video for that. Fuck, I wish I'd thought of that.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Fri May 24, 2013 9:39 am

Sorry Atheists...according to the Vatican, you heathens are still gonna burn in hell...

The Rev. Thomas Rosica, a Vatican spokesman, said that people who aware of the Catholic church “cannot be saved” if they “refuse to enter her or remain in her.”

At the same time, Rosica writes, “every man or woman, whatever their situation, can be saved. Even non-Christians can respond to this saving action of the Spirit. No person is excluded from salvation simply because of so-called original sin.”

Rosica also said that Francis had “no intention of provoking a theological debate on the nature of salvation,” during his homily on Wednesday.

Although the pope's comments about salvation surprised some, bishops and experts in Catholicism say Francis was expressing a core tenant of the faith.

"Francis was clear that whatever graces are offered to atheists (such that they may be saved) are from Christ," the Rev. John Zuhlsdorf, a conservative Catholic priest, wrote on his blog.

"He was clear that salvation is only through Christ’s Sacrifice. In other words, he is not suggesting – and I think some are taking it this way – that you can be saved, get to heaven, without Christ."

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Dec 11, 2013 12:38 pm

Pope Francis joins Osama Bin Laden and Hitler as one of Time's Persons of the Year.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Wed Dec 11, 2013 12:51 pm

Did this Pope do anything special other than be Pope? I haven't paid attench.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Dec 11, 2013 12:54 pm

Jerloma wrote:Pope Francis joins Osama Bin Laden and Hitler as one of Time's Persons of the Year.

Jerloma, you also have been time person of the year.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Wed Dec 11, 2013 12:57 pm

Gunpowder wrote:Did this Pope do anything special other than be Pope? I haven't paid attench.

I don't think so.

Time's Person of the Year is a selection by Time's editors about who "for better or for worse has done the most to influence the events of the year." By that metric, Snowden was robbed.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Wed Dec 11, 2013 12:57 pm

He has softened the Church's hard line rhetoric on a few different subjects, notably gays. He appears more liberal than his recent predecessors and managed to piss off various right-wingers.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Dec 11, 2013 1:05 pm

sancarlos wrote:He has softened the Church's hard line rhetoric on a few different subjects, notably gays. He appears more liberal than his recent predecessors and managed to piss off various right-wingers.

Correct. As far as Pope's go, he's been pretty active.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Dec 11, 2013 1:21 pm

You know when a corporation does things so egregious that they risk losing everything so they bring out a PR guy that smiles a lot and says things that everyone wants to hears but doesn't actually implement any change whatsoever? That's Frank.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Fri Dec 13, 2013 6:36 am

Jerloma wrote:You know when a corporation does things so egregious that they risk losing everything so they bring out a PR guy that smiles a lot and says things that everyone wants to hears but doesn't actually implement any change whatsoever? That's Frank.

That's also Barack.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Fri Dec 13, 2013 3:40 pm

Pruitt wrote:
Jerloma wrote:You know when a corporation does things so egregious that they risk losing everything so they bring out a PR guy that smiles a lot and says things that everyone wants to hears but doesn't actually implement any change whatsoever? That's Frank.
That's also Barack.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 12:56 pm

Hmmm...

Pope Francis said: “The statistics on the phenomenon of violence against children are shocking, but they also clearly show that the great majority of abuses are carried out in family or neighbourhood environments.

“The Catholic Church is perhaps the only public institution to have acted with transparency and responsibility.

“No-one else has done more. Yet the Church is the only one to have been attacked.”

He also praised his predecessor Pope Benedict for his work on the issue.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 1:41 pm

Jerloma wrote:Hmmm...

Pope Francis said: “The statistics on the phenomenon of violence against children are shocking, but they also clearly show that the great majority of abuses are carried out in family or neighbourhood environments.

“The Catholic Church is perhaps the only public institution to have acted with transparency and responsibility.

“No-one else has done more. Yet the Church is the only one to have been attacked.”

He also praised his predecessor Pope Benedict for his work on the issue.

You probably disagree, but I think the guy is actually trying to acknowledge, address and take on this and many of the other problem issues of the Catholic church, in a much more meaningful way than is predecessors. He has been more open about the pedophilia, called out the Vatican Bank and is trying to root out systemic corruption. Some of his comments, such as the nod to Benedict I think are done for political expediency and to smooth hurt feelings, to make it easier to push through his changes. He'll never go as far as many of us wish, but improvement is good, at least.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 1:46 pm

You think the he's trying to address the problem when he says "The Catholic Church is perhaps the only public institution to have acted with transparency and responsibility"? Because that would make you both insane.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 3:33 pm

Not to mention equating families and neighborhoods with public institutions.

(Come on families, step up to your shame!)

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 8:07 pm

P.D.X. wrote:Not to mention equating families and neighborhoods with public institutions.

(Come on families, step up to your shame!)

When my dad raped us, we just covered it up and traded him for the father of another family.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 11:16 pm

Here's the the thing with the fucking pope. People always do what SC just did there. If any ordinary member of the RCC ever said that the RCC is the only institution that's been accused of these crimes that acted with transparency and responsibility, we'd consider them a morally repugnant human being. But for the pope, it's always this "Ohhh, well you have to understand...he's in a tough spot...he's not Superman...he has to protect the reputation of the institution as it's CEO...NO! The pope, who pretends to speak for the creator of all space and time shouldn't be held to a lower standard for human decency. He should be held to a higher standard...especially if he's supposed to be a moral authority for over a billion people. The only proper response as a decent human being is, "We're wrong, we fucked up, let me give you every shred of paperwork we've ever documented on this and any parties that are deemed guilty by secular authorities shall be sentenced accordingly." You don't even have to be fucking Gandhi to get there. My 7 year old can figure that out.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 10:18 am

Jerloma wrote:Here's the the thing with the fucking pope. People always do what SC just did there. If any ordinary member of the RCC ever said that the RCC is the only institution that's been accused of these crimes that acted with transparency and responsibility, we'd consider them a morally repugnant human being. But for the pope, it's always this "Ohhh, well you have to understand...he's in a tough spot...he's not Superman...he has to protect the reputation of the institution as it's CEO...NO! The pope, who pretends to speak for the creator of all space and time shouldn't be held to a lower standard for human decency. He should be held to a higher standard...especially if he's supposed to be a moral authority for over a billion people. The only proper response as a decent human being is, "We're wrong, we fucked up, let me give you every shred of paperwork we've ever documented on this and any parties that are deemed guilty by secular authorities shall be sentenced accordingly." You don't even have to be fucking Gandhi to get there. My 7 year old can figure that out.

You don't rise through the ranks of the RCC by putting the best interests of society before the interests of the RCC.

Last week my boss was in town and we were discussing one of my investigations. I am investigating allegations that a high-level manager sexually harassed 5 or 6 subordinates. My boss told me that they did a previous investigation on the guy, and found that he sexually harassed subordinates at that time. Instead of firing the guy, they moved him to a different location. I blurted out, "what are they, the Catholic Church?" My boss looks at me all serious and says, "you know I'm Catholic, right? My great aunt is a nun, and next month I am going to her honor banquet to celebrate her 75th anniversary of joining the convent." As I apologized she laughed and agreed that the Church is fucked up. Then we went into plans to train me to teach a course on Respect in the Workplace. I had to point out the irony in that.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Tue May 27, 2014 9:47 am

So last week the Harvard Cultural Studies club held a Satanic ritual at a Chinese restaurant as an academic event and in this ritual, a certain cracker was going to be desecrated (non-consecrated as if that even means anything). So of course the archdioceses of Boston and a bunch of other Catholics got all "this is a hatecrime" and "danger of being naive about or underestimating the power of Satan"...blah, blah, blah.

Well, now the Pope has taken it a step further...

Francis used strong language to denounce the sexual abuse of children by clergy, calling it a “very grave crime” and saying that when a priest subjects a child to abuse, it is as if the priest has celebrated a “black Mass” as part of a Satanic ritual.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Fri Jul 10, 2015 5:11 pm

Fantastic...

Vatican officials appear to have been flummoxed after Pope Francis was presented with a communist crucifix depicting Jesus nailed to a hammer and sickle by Bolivia’s president Evo Morales.

The gift from the leftwing leader caused an immediate stir among conservative Catholics who said the pontiff was being manipulated for ideological reasons.

The response of the pope was less clear. After being handed the wooden crucifix during a formal ceremony, he examined it for a few seconds before returning it to a Bolivian presidential aide.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Fri Jul 10, 2015 5:51 pm

Should have whacked the jagoff over the head with the thing.

Quality workmanship on that sculpture - speaks well for the craftsmen and women of Bolivia.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 9:14 am

The Pope has decided that for one year, priests may now forgive women who have had abortions.

“I know that it is an existential and moral ordeal. I have met so many women who bear in their heart the scar of this agonizing and painful decision. What has happened is profoundly unjust; yet only understanding the truth of it can enable one not to lose hope. The forgiveness of God cannot be denied to one who has repented, especially when that person approaches the Sacrament of Confession with a sincere heart in order to obtain reconciliation with the Father. For this reason too, I have decided, notwithstanding anything to the contrary, to concede to all priests for the Jubilee Year the discretion to absolve of the sin of abortion those who have procured it and who, with contrite heart, seek forgiveness for it.”

So the obvious question you have is "Don't priests just have to forgive all sins?" Apparently not. There are six sins that are considered unforgivable and grounds for immediate excommunication (spoiler alert- kiddie raping is not one of them):

1. Apostasy (check)
2. Heresy (check)
3. Desecrating a communion wafer (wouldn't think twice)
4. Physically attacking the Pope (fair enough)
5. Lying in confession (check)
6. Abortion (N/A)

So if we have any lurking female readers who have had an abortion, you have a year to repent. Go!

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 9:43 am

Maybe this should go in the confessions thread, but I paid for and accompanied my old girlfriend to hers, nearly 30 years ago. I wonder if that limited time offer also applies to me?

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 9:47 am

sancarlos wrote:Maybe this should go in the confessions thread, but I paid ... my old girlfriend to ... offer ... appl...es to me...

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 9:48 am

mister d wrote:
sancarlos wrote:Maybe this should go in the confessions thread, but I paid ... my old girlfriend to ... offer ... appl...es to me...

not your best work...

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 9:49 am

It was different and much darker but then I decided to go with flat out stupid.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 9:53 am

So will there be a lineup at the confession booths this time next year?

The church should just go back to collecting money in return for indulgences.

howard · Post by **howard** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 10:02 am

"This is a limited time offer. Operators are standing by;first 500 to confess for this one-time chance at absolution for this usually mortal sin get a free toaster. Don't miss out!

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 11:44 am

An entrepreneurial priest should set up shop right outside an abortion clinic and charge to absolve women on their way out.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:24 pm

It's hilarious and all but does it concern anyone that they can keep changing the rules like this and their adherents can't get to the very obvious conclusion that this is all bullshit? That is has everything to do with deference and submission and not a damn thing to do with a deity? You don't have to be Stephen Hawking to figure this out. What is the fucking issue?

Steve of phpBB · Post by **Steve of phpBB** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 2:51 pm

Jerloma wrote:It's hilarious and all but does it concern anyone that they can keep changing the rules like this and their adherents can't get to the very obvious conclusion that this is all bullshit? That is has everything to do with deference and submission and not a damn thing to do with a deity? You don't have to be Stephen Hawking to figure this out. What is the fucking issue?

Is that changing the rules? I was under the impression that a practicing Catholic could get absolution for any sin, as long as he or she confessed and did penance. In which case the Pope's this-year-only forgiveness special is really nothing at all.

tennbengal · Post by **tennbengal** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 2:58 pm

Changing rules doesn't seem to bother a religion that was down with priests marrying before it wasn't.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 3:05 pm

Steve of phpBB wrote:
Jerloma wrote:It's hilarious and all but does it concern anyone that they can keep changing the rules like this and their adherents can't get to the very obvious conclusion that this is all bullshit? That is has everything to do with deference and submission and not a damn thing to do with a deity? You don't have to be Stephen Hawking to figure this out. What is the fucking issue?
Is that changing the rules? I was under the impression that a practicing Catholic could get absolution for any sin, as long as he or she confessed and did penance. In which case the Pope's this-year-only forgiveness special is really nothing at all.

I was too. Did you read this though...

So the obvious question you have is "Don't priests just have to forgive all sins?" Apparently not. There are six sins that are considered unforgivable and grounds for immediate excommunication (spoiler alert- kiddie raping is not one of them):

1. Apostasy (check)
2. Heresy (check)
3. Desecrating a communion wafer (wouldn't think twice)
4. Physically attacking the Pope (fair enough)
5. Lying in confession (check)
6. Abortion (N/A)

But there's also things like:

- "Oh by the way, that thing where your dead unbaptized babies have been floating around in Limbo all this time? We were just kidding! You can stop agonizing over that now."

- "Of course Galileo was right! The planet just sitting atop pillars? That's absurd!"

- "Genesis obviously isn't a historical account of creation! It's an allegory for how we're magically born with sin inside of us."

Like, when a Pope can just change these divine mandates without any record of having spoken to a deity, doesn't the whole thing just unravel for anyone with even the most remedial critical thinking skills?

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 3:18 pm

Guys...it's not funny.

tennbengal · Post by **tennbengal** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 3:29 pm

Touched By a Pope