Rants 2?

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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P.D.X.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by P.D.X. » Thu Jul 02, 2020 1:55 pm

sancarlos wrote:
Thu Jul 02, 2020 1:24 pm
So, the company I retired from is changing 401-k providers. I have the option of moving my money to their new vendor, or rolling it into an IRA with the current provider. I've been happy with them, so I chose the latter. I spoke to a condescending rep regarding the transaction, and then sent him a detailed email noting my rollover plan and clearly noting the four exact mutual funds in which to reinvest my funds. He calls me back and goes over everything and takes me to the IRA section of the website. He says my choices are noted and asks me to give the formal sign-off. I take a quick look - and, fuck - two of the four funds are different than the instructions I gave him. I tell him it is incorrect. He goes, hmm, and puts me on hold for ten minutes. When he comes back, he says that since the funds are different, we can't do the sign-off right now, and for me to look for something in the mail in about a week to finalize things. What the fuck?
Can you not log into your account and self-manage?

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Giff
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by Giff » Thu Jul 02, 2020 2:05 pm

P.D.X. wrote:
Thu Jul 02, 2020 1:55 pm
sancarlos wrote:
Thu Jul 02, 2020 1:24 pm
So, the company I retired from is changing 401-k providers. I have the option of moving my money to their new vendor, or rolling it into an IRA with the current provider. I've been happy with them, so I chose the latter. I spoke to a condescending rep regarding the transaction, and then sent him a detailed email noting my rollover plan and clearly noting the four exact mutual funds in which to reinvest my funds. He calls me back and goes over everything and takes me to the IRA section of the website. He says my choices are noted and asks me to give the formal sign-off. I take a quick look - and, fuck - two of the four funds are different than the instructions I gave him. I tell him it is incorrect. He goes, hmm, and puts me on hold for ten minutes. When he comes back, he says that since the funds are different, we can't do the sign-off right now, and for me to look for something in the mail in about a week to finalize things. What the fuck?
Can you not log into your account and self-manage?
We're lucky he remembers how to log-in here!
Muh.

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sancarlos
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by sancarlos » Thu Jul 02, 2020 2:54 pm

Ha ha. Of course I can self-manage. But, this is a one-time thing, rolling over and closing a 401-k into a new IRA account.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by DSafetyGuy » Fri Aug 07, 2020 12:49 pm

DSafetyGuy wrote:
Wed Jun 17, 2020 4:17 pm
I just need to dump some stuff. I don't care if anyone reads it, typing it is simply for my mental well-being.
Same header from last time.

So, my father-in-law has been in the hospital for about a week with what was eventually diagnosed as "brain delirium" after several days. He was hospitalized for several days before seeing enough/the correct doctors to get this diagnosis. He went in because he literally did not go to the bathroom for days and a combination of other symptoms I won't get into (thinking it was the wrong year by varying amounts when asked, including 40+ years, etc.).

After coming to this diagnosis a few days ago, the doctors have been telling my wife's stepmother things to severely lower expectations, including that it is very likely he will never go home again, either remaining in the hospital or going someplace with 24-hour care. There was one thing the medical staff caught and addressed this morning to give a little hope, but it's just that - little - and likely won't affect the outcome.

My wife and her stepmother have already talked about what will happen if/when he does pass and she took the DNR paperwork to the hospital, so it's as good as can be there. It has proven to be good that we have had the occasional practical conversation about what to do in the eventuality that he does pass, including during the pandemic, as it seems likely to happen. We've already decided there will be no traveling for this, regardless of the outcome, due to COVID. So, it's just waiting.

And, it's awful to feel this way, but I just want it to end, even though I am not at home with my family. When he does pass, it will hit my wife hard even though she's been handling it really well throughout this past week. It will have to be explained to our kids who are now old enough to know/remember him what has happened (our daughter is old enough to remember when my step-father passed, but our son is not, although there is a picture of him in our house with my mom).

But, it's another thing on the pile.

In the last couple weeks, I've found out that my remaining work projects for the next six months have all gone away, whether by cancellation, postponement, or my company not having their contract renewed. My wife did get a consulting position, which looks like it's going to ramp up in the immediate future, and we've prepared for me eventually having time off, so we're fortunate that the financial end is not really a concern. At the same time, I am not happy about losing one annual project, as I have been doing it for many years and have just learned to count on the annual income over the years.

There's the general pandemic mess and we're still waiting to find out what happens with our kids returning to school (there's time, as the calendar was apparently pushed back a week so they'll start the week after Labor Day). And I'm in Milwaukee for some goddamned reason and I may or may not get to go home early.

All in all, it's pretty unbelievable how well I've slept since I got here.

And, I'll close it the same way as the last time, as well.
DSafetyGuy wrote:
Wed Jun 17, 2020 4:17 pm
Thank you for just having your eyes glaze over this post.
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sancarlos
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by sancarlos » Fri Aug 07, 2020 1:27 pm

Dsafe, sorry you’re having to go through all that. Hope it works out the best way possible for you.
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bfj
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by bfj » Sat Aug 08, 2020 1:29 pm

That’s some heavy stuff Dsafe. Hope It all works out as well as can be expected.
Enjoy every sandwich.

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Re: Rants 2?

Post by P.D.X. » Sat Aug 08, 2020 2:35 pm

Shit man. Thoughts and all.

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Pruitt
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by Pruitt » Sat Aug 08, 2020 3:15 pm

No words for how much that all sucks.

Hope it goes as well as possible.
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Giff
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by Giff » Mon Aug 10, 2020 12:09 pm

Sorry you're having to go through that, DSafe.
Muh.

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DSafetyGuy
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by DSafetyGuy » Mon Aug 10, 2020 12:35 pm

Turn for the worse today, so we shall see. Hopefully, sooner than later.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”

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Re: Rants 2?

Post by Steve of phpBB » Mon Aug 10, 2020 12:45 pm

I'm sorry, DSafe.
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.

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Re: Rants 2?

Post by brian » Mon Aug 10, 2020 12:49 pm

DSafetyGuy wrote:
Mon Aug 10, 2020 12:35 pm
Turn for the worse today, so we shall see. Hopefully, sooner than later.
Sorry, man. Not sure what to tell you other than hang in there and deal as best you can. Hope your wife is doing OK. This has to be very difficult for her I'm sure. You guys are gonna have to lean on each other.

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DSafetyGuy
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by DSafetyGuy » Mon Aug 10, 2020 1:01 pm

brian wrote:
Mon Aug 10, 2020 12:49 pm
DSafetyGuy wrote:
Mon Aug 10, 2020 12:35 pm
Turn for the worse today, so we shall see. Hopefully, sooner than later.
Sorry, man. Not sure what to tell you other than hang in there and deal as best you can. Hope your wife is doing OK. This has to be very difficult for her I'm sure. You guys are gonna have to lean on each other.
I asked her Saturday if she wanted me to come home (work would let me, no-brainer) and she said no. She was doing fine at the onset, but as it gets closer, she's getting a little rougher and a little rougher. After she let me know what was going on this morning, I quickly re-directed to how the kids were doing this morning, hoping that she doesn't get word while they're home, as it's just easier that way. No updates since, so...

And one part that chaps is that, after she finds out, she'll have to call her mom (not step-mom) and ask her to tell her sister. It's not worth getting into her sister and brother-in-law (it's another rant entirely, possibly summed up best by "getting rich made them stupid"), but their estrangement from her father means she can't even lean on or commiserate with her sister.

Sigh.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”

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Re: Rants 2?

Post by brian » Wed Aug 12, 2020 12:28 pm

In the last four days I've now had break:

My teeth (Sunday)
My pool pump (Tuesday)
My refrigerator (last night)

I try not to let this shit bother me, but (ironically) it literally makes me grind my teeth.

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Re: Rants 2?

Post by MaxWebster » Wed Aug 12, 2020 1:29 pm

not really feeling like a long rant but ... i really really miss Canadian healthcare.

what a fucking shitshow.

U!S!A!

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wlu_lax6
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by wlu_lax6 » Wed Oct 14, 2020 7:06 am

The moment that you start just giving family members generic gift cards or checks is the moment you should stop exchanging gifts with that family member for holidays and birthdays. Meaningful gift cards with thought or specific experiences, okay...will give you a pass, but if you just cut a check because you can't come up with an idea or don't care enough...maybe we should just agree we don't need to do it anymore.

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Re: Rants 2?

Post by Johnnie » Wed Oct 14, 2020 7:32 am

wlu_lax6 wrote:
Wed Oct 14, 2020 7:06 am
The moment that you start just giving family members generic gift cards or checks is the moment you should stop exchanging gifts with that family member for holidays and birthdays. Meaningful gift cards with thought or specific experiences, okay...will give you a pass, but if you just cut a check because you can't come up with an idea or don't care enough...maybe we should just agree we don't need to do it anymore.
Sounds like me with literally everyone else ever. (Except my board game friends. We definitely know what to get each other.)

For my birthday last month my mom, my wife's mom & dad, my wife's sister, and my wife's brother all got my Amazon gift cards. They all didn't have to do that, but they wanted to do and I'm appreciative. I bought an instant pot so I can cook for myself in Korea.
Last edited by Johnnie on Wed Oct 14, 2020 7:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by mister d » Wed Oct 14, 2020 7:34 am

That typo can go one of two very different directions. Be safe.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by Johnnie » Wed Oct 14, 2020 7:34 am

Fixed. Damn autocorrect.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

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Re: Rants 2?

Post by rass » Wed Oct 14, 2020 7:38 am

Johnnie wrote:
Wed Oct 14, 2020 7:32 am
wlu_lax6 wrote:
Wed Oct 14, 2020 7:06 am
The moment that you start just giving family members generic gift cards or checks is the moment you should stop exchanging gifts with that family member for holidays and birthdays. Meaningful gift cards with thought or specific experiences, okay...will give you a pass, but if you just cut a check because you can't come up with an idea or don't care enough...maybe we should just agree we don't need to do it anymore.
Sounds like me with literally everyone else ever. (Except my board game friends. We definitely know what to get each other.)

For my birthday last month my mom, my wife's mom & dad, my wife's sister, and my wife's brother all got my Amazon gift cards. They all didn't have to do that, but they wanted to do and I'm appreciative. I bought an instant pot so I can cook for myself in Korea.
I think missed you mentioning that you're a "my wife" guy now. Congrats buddy.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by Johnnie » Wed Oct 14, 2020 8:36 am

Thanks!

Image

Yup. Paper married before the deployment, but kept it quiet as her still being my fiance. Was supposed to have the celebration on 19 September, but COVID nixed that. Rescheduled to April, but Korea nixed that. Now it's going to happen once I know the military won't screw me over again.
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EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

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Re: Rants 2?

Post by The Sybian » Wed Oct 14, 2020 8:49 am

Johnnie wrote:
Wed Oct 14, 2020 7:34 am
Fixed. Damn autocorrect.
Damn, I was studying the post trying to figure out what D referred to.

My parents only want restaurant gift cards. My dad has always had this thing about me or my sister picking up the tab for dinner being the greatest thing, so they get restaurant gift cards, and that is all they want. Nieces and nephews only want gift cards, and especially during quarantine, and Amazon gift card is the best gift to them. I agree it lacks thought or creativity, but I don't mind getting them, as I usually use them for splurges I otherwise wouldn't have treated myself to. When I was coaching kids sports, parent usually chipped in for an Amazon card or Dunkin' card. I'm sure I have several Dunkin' cards somewhere, but the best was when they gave a card for the liquor store. It's like they looked deep into my soul and they knew me.
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mister d
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by mister d » Wed Oct 14, 2020 8:55 am

I'm becoming more and more convinced our parents are the same people. I haven't gotten them anything other than restaurant, good beer store or (blanking on that terrible everything store) gift cards for over a decade.

(Thoughtful gifts are fine but half the time it feels far more performative on the giver side than actually poignant or useful on the receiver side. I have a supervisor who was great at gifting which means I've known one (1) person in my life who is great at gifting.)
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by duff » Wed Oct 14, 2020 10:18 am

The niece and nephews just want money or gift cards to somewhere, but we make them work for it. For the oldest nephew this year, we unrolled a roll of toilet paper and place money as we rerolled it. We had a 20 at the very end. The rest were 1s spread throughout the roll. It took him a couple of weeks before he found that 20. Others have been rolling up the single bills to form "french fries" and stuffing them into a fry box from McDonald's. Wrapped up a pizza box once and the card with the money in it was taped to the top of the inside lid. That one took the youngest nephew 10 minutes to find. We try to make it fun for them.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by DSafetyGuy » Wed Oct 14, 2020 11:45 am

wlu_lax6 wrote:
Wed Oct 14, 2020 7:06 am
The moment that you start just giving family members generic gift cards or checks is the moment you should stop exchanging gifts with that family member for holidays and birthdays. Meaningful gift cards with thought or specific experiences, okay...will give you a pass, but if you just cut a check because you can't come up with an idea or don't care enough...maybe we should just agree we don't need to do it anymore.
One year, my two sisters and I exchanged gift cards, after which I suggested we cut out the performative bullshit. Just so much better.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”

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brian
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by brian » Wed Oct 14, 2020 12:03 pm

My wife and I don't exchange gifts any more -- not even for Christmas. The only person I actually do exchange gifts with is my mother and simply then so I have an excuse to buy her gifts she wouldn't accept without a specific reason otherwise, like plane tickets out to visit and stuff like that.

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Re: Rants 2?

Post by DSafetyGuy » Wed Oct 14, 2020 4:19 pm

brian wrote:
Wed Oct 14, 2020 12:03 pm
My wife and I don't exchange gifts any more -- not even for Christmas.
I negotiated this well before we got married so that we could save for "grown up" stuff (new furniture on up to down payment on house and on) instead of buying each other a bunch of stuff we don't really need.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”

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Re: Rants 2?

Post by The Sybian » Wed Oct 14, 2020 4:24 pm

DSafetyGuy wrote:
Wed Oct 14, 2020 4:19 pm
brian wrote:
Wed Oct 14, 2020 12:03 pm
My wife and I don't exchange gifts any more -- not even for Christmas.
I negotiated this well before we got married so that we could save for "grown up" stuff (new furniture on up to down payment on house and on) instead of buying each other a bunch of stuff we don't really need.
We did the same thing. Once our money merged, she'd get more upset about me spending a lot of money on her than she would be happy getting something nice. She knows I research the hell out of anything nice I purchase, so she doesn't bother getting me something, and knows she can always get away with just a last minute gift of a BJ.
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