Rants 2?

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L-Jam3
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by L-Jam3 »

I'm only going to say for myself. Therapy wasn't a Eureka! moment for me. It's more of just a gradual process. Like learning to rethink in a certain manner, or take a new perspective on things. And good therapy took work, and especially homework. It only became evident when I stopped and looked back to where I was. And there were still dips in the road. It certainly wasn't a few week or even a few month process for me.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by govmentchedda »

L-Jam3 wrote: Tue Aug 28, 2018 12:59 pm I'm only going to say for myself. Therapy wasn't a Eureka! moment for me. It's more of just a gradual process. Like learning to rethink in a certain manner, or take a new perspective on things. And good therapy took work, and especially homework. It only became evident when I stopped and looked back to where I was. And there were still dips in the road. It certainly wasn't a few week or even a few month process for me.
I agree with this. Don't expect a eureka moment. I think it's going to take time, and work (at least that's what I keep telling myself). And there are definitely going to be dips, I'm in one right now. Good luck.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by A_B »

Buncha wimps. What happened to drinking til you forget or don't care? Is that frowned upon now?
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by brian »

A_B wrote: Tue Aug 28, 2018 2:29 pm Buncha wimps. What happened to drinking til you forget or don't care? Is that frowned upon now?
I blame participation trophies.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by GoodKarma »

Johnnie wrote: Tue Aug 28, 2018 12:50 pm Yeah, it'll be a topic in the next go 'round. I feel like talking to a therapist has been great because I can just talk.

But... I'm not seeing a change within myself or a breakthrough "Eureka!" moment. I'm not sure if that's even supposed to happen. I still feel like I was wronged on my deployment. I still go off on a rant when triggered about a thing. I still feel like in ways I fail despite actually not. I have to keep pausing, go "forget about this, think of the good in your life and realize it's not a big deal," and continue about my day.

I'm in my own head too much and think about stuff constantly. I'm not sure what I can do to knock it except keep going.
I 100% agree with L-jam and chedda...I never had a "eureka" moment either. It's a process and it can be tough to deal with some times but you just have to keep working at it. If it hasn't come up, ask your therapist for a book recommendation on cognitive behavioral therapy if you think that is something you would be interested in. For me, a book was a nice compliment to the treatment.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by Johnnie »

I was given a book to read by the guy I talked to while deployed, now that you mention it. It was called Feeling Good. I'll have to get a copy.

Also, thanks for being there, Swamp. You folks are all right.



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Re: Rants 2?

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I had my first therapy session in 30 years the other day. Can't say I liked it, but even just saying things to someone that you can;t say somewhere else felt like my brain was taking a much needed dump.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by sancarlos »

So, I got a parking ticket a couple weeks ago in Daly City. $33. It sucks but I was in the wrong and will pay the fine. So, I see on the ticket that you can pay online. So, I go to their site and am just about to do it, when I notice that it says "Processing fee of $3.95 will be added to the charge for paying online." What the fuck? Is this Ticketmaster or something? They should be happy you pay online, not charge an exorbitant fee. I know it's just $3.95, but I'm going to mail them a check instead, on principle.
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Re: Rants 2?

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They lose money accepting online.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by sancarlos »

mister d wrote: Thu Sep 27, 2018 12:18 pm They lose money accepting online.
I know VISA charges them a fee, but it isn't 12%.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by A_B »

Well. I guess you're allowed to be disgruntled now that it is no longer a danger to others.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by rass »

A_B wrote: Thu Sep 27, 2018 12:48 pm Well. I guess you're allowed to be disgruntled now that it is no longer a danger to others.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by wlu_lax6 »

sancarlos wrote: Thu Sep 27, 2018 12:20 pm
mister d wrote: Thu Sep 27, 2018 12:18 pm They lose money accepting online.
I know VISA charges them a fee, but it isn't 12%.
You are also paying a fee to support the tech that allows for you to have that option.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by Johnnie »

Another shoe drops today. I'm getting what's called a "referral" performance report. Basically, because during the one year rating period I got in trouble, it can be decided that I "failed to live up to standards" so my report gets marked down considerably. It has a direct impact on promotions, testing, moving bases, etc. It will absolutely solidify that I retire at my current rank.

Talking to people they think I'm again getting a raw deal. The talk was that 6 months ago was the time for the commander directed bad performance report with the time in between then and now as a "make up" period where I show I've turned a corner. That didn't happen.

And what puts the cherry on the shit sundae was my constant questioning to my supervisor as to what the situation was since September. I haven't heard anything. I have no idea. So who gives me the news of my referral today? My supervisor. Fucking ridiculous. I can't wait to retire. This shit sucks. The punishment never seems to end.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by EdRomero »

sancarlos wrote: Thu Sep 27, 2018 12:15 pm So, I got a parking ticket a couple weeks ago in Daly City. $33. It sucks but I was in the wrong and will pay the fine. So, I see on the ticket that you can pay online. So, I go to their site and am just about to do it, when I notice that it says "Processing fee of $3.95 will be added to the charge for paying online." What the fuck? Is this Ticketmaster or something? They should be happy you pay online, not charge an exorbitant fee. I know it's just $3.95, but I'm going to mail them a check instead, on principle.
Same issue in Newton, MA.

Another parking complaint: I think there's a different parking app for each town in Massachusetts, so I need about 20 different parking apps on my phone. Can't Amazon or Google just take over that business.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by Johnnie »

When I went to see Avengers: Endgame yesterday I got popcorn and a soda. The large popcorn itself was $8.89. It's outrageous. The federal minimum wage is $7.25. After taxes are taken out from your wage and added to the purchase of the popcorn you have to work damn near two hours just to have the money to afford it. (And that's after buying tickets.)

And you know what makes this worse? The way popcorn and movies became synonymous with each other.

It was cheap food that even the poorest could afford so they could eat while being entertained during The Great Depression.

Why doesn't Bernie and AOC use this as he easiest example of the bullshit of capitalism?
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by Johnnie »

The military makes a point, time after time, to be a perfect mix of manager, leader, and professional. It's almost as though you have to compartmentalize all of it to be able to live in circumstances where rules conflict with office politics.

It's something I struggle with. You craft a set of black and white instructions and guidance and apply it to the military lifestyle. It's ingrained from basic training and continues until separation. Whenever a rule is broken it's thrown in your face that you "failed to live up to standards" or whatever.

And then one day you're told "well, technically, if a commander accepts a certain amount of risk the rule can be broken." A person who thinks to much then throws up his/her hands and goes "Well, why have rules in the first fucking place?" It's maddening all around.

I say that to say this. I put my Airman in for a pretty prestigious award. She's already the Airman of the Year for the squadron and won another yearly logistics award. (She's also the Booster Club president and does so much more volunteering than she has to ) So this should have been easy. She has significant clout and works extremely hard.

But no. She failed a PT test many months ago. A situation rectified a week and a half later with a passing test. In my nearly 18 years, "pass or fail at the time of reporting closeout" was all that mattered. And the pre-reqs for this award have exactly nothing to do with a previous PT fail. But nope. Held against her.

I know office politics isn't exclusive to the military, but I'd like to think that all the talk I have to deal with would amount to consistency. I can't wait to be retired.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by The Sybian »

Johnnie wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 5:24 pm The military makes a point, time after time, to be a perfect mix of manager, leader, and professional. It's almost as though you have to compartmentalize all of it to be able to live in circumstances where rules conflict with office politics.

It's something I struggle with. You craft a set of black and white instructions and guidance and apply it to the military lifestyle. It's ingrained from basic training and continues until separation. Whenever a rule is broken it's thrown in your face that you "failed to live up to standards" or whatever.

And then one day you're told "well, technically, if a commander accepts a certain amount of risk the rule can be broken." A person who thinks to much then throws up his/her hands and goes "Well, why have rules in the first fucking place?" It's maddening all around.

I say that to say this. I put my Airman in for a pretty prestigious award. She's already the Airman of the Year for the squadron and won another yearly logistics award. (She's also the Booster Club president and does so much more volunteering than she has to ) So this should have been easy. She has significant clout and works extremely hard.

But no. She failed a PT test many months ago. A situation rectified a week and a half later with a passing test. In my nearly 18 years, "pass or fail at the time of reporting closeout" was all that mattered. And the pre-reqs for this award have exactly nothing to do with a previous PT fail. But nope. Held against her.

I know office politics isn't exclusive to the military, but I'd like to think that all the talk I have to deal with would amount to consistency. I can't wait to be retired.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by L-Jam3 »

The attorney next to me really agitates me. Total Becky on her phone a lot, and her smiles.
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Re: Rants 2?

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Our state licencor showed up today and said that we can only have 30 kids in our cafeteria at a time despite the school allowing 90 children and the building permit allowing 110, which completely ruined our program's entire schedule and programming just a week before school started. Building inspectors, the fire department, and the school system thinks the space is safe for 100 kids, but a state agency full of former preschool directors know much better, and will only allow 30. I'm starting to better understand the appeal of being a libertarian.

And my work site has been hacked by a Search Engine Results Poisoning' (SERP). Luckily, EnochRoot is saving the day on that, I hope.

And I went over my monthly data today because the Google Play Store just started slurping up data like a slut at a Star Trek convention.
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Re: Rants 2?

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EdRomero wrote: Thu Aug 22, 2019 2:53 pm Our state licencor showed up today and said that we can only have 30 kids in our cafeteria at a time despite the school allowing 90 children and the building permit allowing 110, which completely ruined our program's entire schedule and programming just a week before school started. Building inspectors, the fire department, and the school system thinks the space is safe for 100 kids, but a state agency full of former preschool directors know much better, and will only allow 30. I'm starting to better understand the appeal of being a libertarian.

And my work site has been hacked by a Search Engine Results Poisoning' (SERP). Luckily, EnochRoot is saving the day on that, I hope.

And I went over my monthly data today because the Google Play Store just started slurping up data like a slut at a Star Trek convention.
Sorry man.

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Re: Rants 2?

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Someone is calling me a hypocrite for encouraging people to stay sober while still smoking pot. Just fuck people sometimes.
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Re: Rants 2?

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EdRomero wrote: Thu Aug 22, 2019 2:53 pm And I went over my monthly data today because the Google Play Store just started slurping up data like a slut at a Star Trek convention.
Well that is now my favorite phrase of all time.
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Re: Rants 2?

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I was just driving up to San Francisco on 101 in heavy traffic, which was going only about 60. I was in the far left lane right on the tail of the guy in front of me. Some impatient asshole passed me on the left shoulder. I let him in rather than cause an accident. I was flabbergasted. Shortly thereafter he tried to pass a guy on the right, but his lane slowed and he ended up way behind me. The schadenfreude was strong.
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Re: Rants 2?

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Well, it's pretty thrilling to get another thing to rant about so quickly after the first. As I alluded to in the previous post, my wife, daughter and I did the tourist thing in San Francisco today, at my daughter's urging. And, now we have something in common with Alex Rodriguez and many residents of and other visitors to San Francisco. Smashed windows and a car break-in.

We parked at about noon today, among dozens of other cars in a well-traveled area - the Aquatic Park public parking lot. Safe, right? Wrong. We came back a couple hours later to a couple smashed windows in our car. We had nothing of value in the car and thus nothing was stolen. But, I guess they wanted to look in our trunk. (And it's a 2015 Ford Fusion, so I wouldn't think it would look like a very good target.)

So, I'm only out the insurance deductible and a few days use of the car until the windows get replaced, but it's enough to fuck up a day.
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Re: Rants 2?

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Had that happen before a 2 hour drive, it’s super fun to keep finding glass for the next year.
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Re: Rants 2?

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What about that Picasso you had in the trunk?
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Re: Rants 2?

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At least you don’t live next to a quarry.
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Re: Rants 2?

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EdRomero wrote: Thu Aug 22, 2019 8:31 pm What about that Picasso you had in the trunk?
Ahh, the A-Rod strategy!
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Re: Rants 2?

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A_B wrote: Thu Aug 22, 2019 8:34 pm At least you don’t live next to a quarry.
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Re: Rants 2?

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Been a rough week for Auto Glass in these parts.
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Re: Rants 2?

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I went to a lecture on Play Deficit Disorder -- the basic argument is a gradual but extreme increase in academic time (since about 1960) and an increased fear of bad stuff happening to your kids (or being accused of being a neglectful parent) has decreased independent child playtime (which means play with no adult guidance). And this is connected to the increase in teen depression, decline in creativity, decline in children's health, decline of resiliency, and a bunch of other stuff. This blog is based on those beliefs: https://letgrow.org/

He also mentioned how children need to take risks and that broken arms are okay (children's bodies heal but if they never take risks while playing, their physical/social/mental development is hindered). So I asked about the legal aspect because if a student in my care takes a risk and breaks his arm, my program is getting in trouble and possibly sued. His answer was this is a problem caused by the costs of healthcare so I should work to get low cost universal healthcare. Very practical advice.
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Re: Rants 2?

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The cost of healthcare also hinders entrepreneurship. If you have to worry about health care, you're less likely to start your own business if you have to leave a job where you have health care. There are all kinds of hidden costs to our economy, our health and our mental well-being as a result of our fucked health care system.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by EdRomero »

brian wrote: Wed Oct 09, 2019 9:54 am The cost of healthcare also hinders entrepreneurship. If you have to worry about health care, you're less likely to start your own business if you have to leave a job where you have health care. There are all kinds of hidden costs to our economy, our health and our mental well-being as a result of our fucked health care system.
And it seems to be the main cause of every labor dispute and the increasing costs of childcare and so many other services...somehow, this rarely makes it to the healthcare debate even though the tentacles of crazy costs affect so much.
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Re: Rants 2?

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EdRomero wrote: Wed Oct 09, 2019 9:52 am I went to a lecture on Play Deficit Disorder -- the basic argument is a gradual but extreme increase in academic time (since about 1960) and an increased fear of bad stuff happening to your kids (or being accused of being a neglectful parent) has decreased independent child playtime (which means play with no adult guidance). And this is connected to the increase in teen depression, decline in creativity, decline in children's health, decline of resiliency, and a bunch of other stuff. This blog is based on those beliefs: https://letgrow.org/
I think I inherently know this is true, but its sooooooo goddamn tough. Like overall I know its good to give them room to fail and fuck-up and take risks, but the little events that build up to that overall are a struggle. If I see one of them climbing on a shitty tree branch, is the risk of a broken arm really worth the push to independence?



(Even with "being nice". We had an absolute disaster sleepover this past weekend and in the AM we overheard a couple kids talking about a few others that left early and while the instinct is to intervene because its sorta mean on your watch, we knew they needed the outlet after the night before. (And because we were talking the same shit to each other rather than just keeping it inside to be nice. Sometimes that's easy to forget as they get older.))
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Re: Rants 2?

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That struggle is pretty much my job, plus supervising others how to handle that dilemma..and external pressure (my boss/most parents/the state) says you should intercede ASAP because CYA, even though the right thing is to usually let kids work it out without you.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by wlu_lax6 »

This is absolute garbage. I like John Krasinski but that does not mean you have to reissue old books with him on the cover. He is not Jack Ryan. Hell the Jack Ryan show he is in he could be any other name and be just as good and still have the amount of connection to the Clancy written Ryan. Or even the 48 people still pumping out Jack Ryan and Jack Ryan Jr. Stories.

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Re: Rants 2?

Post by A_B »

But if you're trying to sell books it's a solid strategy. I don't think they are going to make you turn all your old copies in for the newer ones.
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Re: Rants 2?

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Yeah, the TV show people want to sell their show and the book people want to sell their books and Tom Clancy has been dead forever, so no one's getting hurt here. If you'd rather read the books and imagine Alec Baldwin or Harrison Ford or Ben Affleck as Jack Ryan then you do you.
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Re: Rants 2?

Post by L-Jam3 »

Bobcat Goldthwait worked well for me in that role.
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