Return of Confessions

Okay . . . let's try this again.

Moderators: Shirley, Sabo, brian, DaveInSeattle, rass

Post Reply
User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 12869
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Return of Confessions

Post by The Sybian » Thu Nov 07, 2013 10:05 pm

How did we not bring this thread back? Anywho, I had a countdown clock running on Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney, but I'd jump the gun now. And 17 is legal in some states...


Image


Image


Image
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

HaulCitgo
Donny
Posts: 2266
Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:07 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by HaulCitgo » Thu Nov 07, 2013 10:23 pm

Dunno man. She's hot in a world class athlete kind of way but not worth a 3yr bid kind of way.

User avatar
Rush2112
The Dude
Posts: 6245
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:35 pm
Location: Cyrus X-1
Contact:

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by Rush2112 » Thu Nov 07, 2013 10:30 pm

I feel ya Syb. I felt the same way about Sasha Cohen back in the day.

Image
"Well I'm no magician....you've got pictures of him with a podium........"

Gunpowder
The Dude
Posts: 6960
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:52 am
Location: Dipshitville, FL
Contact:

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by Gunpowder » Thu Nov 07, 2013 10:41 pm

Felt the same about pre-murdered by her parents Jon-Benet Ramsey.
"Enjoyed this one," Gunpowder told the Burlington Observer. "But it's back to work tomorrow."

User avatar
TheHumanComa
Brandt
Posts: 310
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 11:03 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by TheHumanComa » Fri Nov 08, 2013 12:06 am

Gunpowder wrote:Felt the same about pre-murdered by her parents Jon-Benet Ramsey.
I laughed. but now i feel i must find a religion that takes confessions and confess to the fact I laughed at that.

User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 12869
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by The Sybian » Fri Nov 08, 2013 9:18 am

HaulCitgo wrote:Dunno man. She's hot in a world class athlete kind of way but not worth a 3yr bid kind of way.
I'm the worst at shooting down other people's claim that a chick is hot, but there is just something about her. She has the same thing that Emma Watson does. Sasha Cohen is in the same category. Huge crush back in the day.

As for Jon Benet, she was only one year young than McKayla Maroney, so I'll give you and John Mark Carr a pass.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

howard
Karl Hungus
Posts: 9467
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:00 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by howard » Fri Nov 08, 2013 10:00 am

McKayla is what, 4'3" tall? That just enhances her childlike appearance. I mean really young child-like appearance. Boner-killer for me. The pic in jeans, she looks like a 12yo playing dressup. Short arms; short legs. Where are the hot, young volleyball/basketball players? That I will confess to.
Who knows? Maybe, you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom.

Those days are gone forever
Over a long time ago
Oh yeah…

User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 12869
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by The Sybian » Fri Nov 08, 2013 10:38 am

howard wrote:McKayla is what, 4'3" tall? That just enhances her childlike appearance. I mean really young child-like appearance. Boner-killer for me. The pic in jeans, she looks like a 12yo playing dressup. Short arms; short legs. Where are the hot, young volleyball/basketball players? That I will confess to.

Yeah, I didn't think about the midget factor. For me, it's her face. I think she is gorgeous, and the addition of the relatively large boobs signified womanhood to me.

I did once go on a couple of dates with a girl who was 4'9" at most. She was super hot, only miniaturized. And she was sarcastic as hell. I met her in a bar and actually approached her full-sized friend. She made some inappropriate remark that cracked me up, but I didn't know where it came from. I looked down and had no idea she was there. Gorgeous face, and the sharp wit won me over. I was really drunk and told my friends she was bordering on midget. They didn't believe me and made me promise to measure where she came up to on me. When I saw her again, at first I thought she wasn't that short, probably just under 5 feet. Then I realized she was wearing 6 inch platform shoes. I never hooked up with her, so I didn't figure out the logistics.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

testy boxcar
Maude Lebowski
Posts: 166
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 12:23 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by testy boxcar » Fri Nov 08, 2013 10:51 am

i hooked up with a girl who was like 4'9" a few times. she was pretty hot, and all the proportions were right. i'm by no means tall (5'10" or so) but some positions were a little awkward.

testy boxcar
Maude Lebowski
Posts: 166
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 12:23 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by testy boxcar » Fri Nov 08, 2013 10:52 am

although, being a gymnast, i'd imagine she'd be able to figure things out.

User avatar
Steve of phpBB
The Dude
Posts: 5587
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 10:44 am

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by Steve of phpBB » Fri Nov 08, 2013 11:13 am

howard wrote:The pic in jeans, she looks like a 12yo playing dressup.
That pic, maybe. But not the first two pics.
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.

User avatar
Rush2112
The Dude
Posts: 6245
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:35 pm
Location: Cyrus X-1
Contact:

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by Rush2112 » Mon Dec 09, 2013 11:53 am

The Sybian wrote:How did we not bring this thread back? Anywho, I had a countdown clock running on Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney, but I'd jump the gun now. And 17 is legal in some states...
Just so you know, she's now 18.

(and she's 5'2")
"Well I'm no magician....you've got pictures of him with a podium........"

Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 12292
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: ABQ, BITCH!

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by Johnnie » Mon Dec 09, 2013 1:41 pm

Maybe I should put this in the 'dating' thread too, but I'm fucking a 19 year old chick. An American chick playing au pair to a French family in Strasbourg.

She's younger than my sister.

And I'm so working on her giving up the ass. So far she seems into it.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

User avatar
Pruitt
The Dude
Posts: 16765
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:02 am
Location: North Shore of Lake Ontario

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by Pruitt » Tue Dec 10, 2013 6:25 am

Johnnie wrote:Maybe I should put this in the 'dating' thread too, but I'm fucking a 19 year old chick. An American chick playing au pair to a French family in Strasbourg.

She's younger than my sister.

And I'm so working on her giving up the ass. So far she seems into it.
My wife is younger than my sister.

My sister is 47.
"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."

Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 12292
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: ABQ, BITCH!

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by Johnnie » Tue Dec 10, 2013 7:56 am

For context, mine just turned 21.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

howard
Karl Hungus
Posts: 9467
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:00 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by howard » Tue Dec 10, 2013 8:03 am

Boy, that year sure passed by quickly.
Who knows? Maybe, you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom.

Those days are gone forever
Over a long time ago
Oh yeah…

Jerloma
The Dude
Posts: 5806
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 2:10 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by Jerloma » Tue Dec 10, 2013 11:09 am

What is it about the anal that's so appealing for hetero dudes? It can't possibly feel better than the vag, right? Is it just like a conquest thing?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

User avatar
Bensell
Jesus Quintana
Posts: 953
Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2013 4:28 pm
Location: The Bluegrass State

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by Bensell » Tue Dec 10, 2013 11:19 am

Jerloma wrote:What is it about the anal that's so appealing for hetero dudes? It can't possibly feel better than the vag, right? Is it just like a conquest thing?
My ex loved anal; she came much easier then when we would have vaginal sex. In general the ass is much tighter than the pussy, so I imagine that is the main appeal.
Worldwide Frivologist and International Juke Artist

testy boxcar
Maude Lebowski
Posts: 166
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 12:23 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by testy boxcar » Tue Dec 10, 2013 11:22 am

but thats where poop comes from :(

User avatar
govmentchedda
The Dude
Posts: 8457
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:36 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by govmentchedda » Tue Dec 10, 2013 12:40 pm

I liked Fatty McButterpants' piece where he followed the NFL referee crew for a week prior to the Bears/Ravens game.
I took a two hour nap and cried during parks and Rec. it was awesome and terrifying.

howard
Karl Hungus
Posts: 9467
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:00 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by howard » Tue Dec 10, 2013 12:43 pm

I like eggnog way too much.
Who knows? Maybe, you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom.

Those days are gone forever
Over a long time ago
Oh yeah…

Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 12292
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: ABQ, BITCH!

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by Johnnie » Tue Dec 10, 2013 2:26 pm

Jerloma wrote:What is it about the anal that's so appealing for hetero dudes? It can't possibly feel better than the vag, right? Is it just like a conquest thing?
Well, in some ways. I guess my kinks are just getting it in everywhere. And then there's the personal satisfaction of knowing that I made a girl do a complete 180 on what she likes in bed. So there's that. Then being the first dude to make a girl cum from it...that's the best.

And frankly wearing a condom sucks. I can't feel anything. And not feeling anything means no stimuli. Which then means I don't show up to the party.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

User avatar
govmentchedda
The Dude
Posts: 8457
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:36 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by govmentchedda » Tue Dec 10, 2013 4:11 pm

Anal + no condom, what could go wrong?
Last edited by govmentchedda on Tue Dec 10, 2013 4:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I took a two hour nap and cried during parks and Rec. it was awesome and terrifying.

User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 14654
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by rass » Tue Dec 10, 2013 4:17 pm

But then I thought, when am I going to make it back to Germany?
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.

testy boxcar
Maude Lebowski
Posts: 166
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 12:23 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by testy boxcar » Tue Dec 10, 2013 4:19 pm

lolol

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 22252
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: El lugar de ser
Contact:

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by brian » Tue Dec 10, 2013 4:33 pm

govmentchedda wrote:Anal + no condom, what could go wrong?
It ain't 1991 any more, that's for sure.

User avatar
Scottie
Donny
Posts: 2303
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 1:52 am
Location: Warming up in the bullpen.

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by Scottie » Tue Dec 10, 2013 4:51 pm

brian wrote:
govmentchedda wrote:Anal + no condom, what could go wrong?
It ain't 1991 any more, that's for sure.
Or 1981.
Your own personal AR-15 wielding Jesus

User avatar
sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 12327
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by sancarlos » Tue Dec 10, 2013 6:35 pm

howard wrote:I like eggnog way too much.
Ditto.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian

I never shoulda punched that horse. - AB

User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 12869
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by The Sybian » Tue Dec 10, 2013 8:25 pm

rass wrote:But then I thought, when am I going to make it back to Germany?

As I read Cheddah's post, I was going to post the same exact thing, then thought, "I bet Rass already posted it." Gotta be quick around here.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

User avatar
govmentchedda
The Dude
Posts: 8457
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:36 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by govmentchedda » Tue Dec 10, 2013 8:36 pm

Of all the glasses of wine I've had in 2013, I'd wager I had more Rosé than any other red or white.
I took a two hour nap and cried during parks and Rec. it was awesome and terrifying.

User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 12869
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by The Sybian » Tue Dec 10, 2013 8:38 pm

Rose is the new Pinot Noir. I just don't like it much.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

User avatar
govmentchedda
The Dude
Posts: 8457
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:36 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by govmentchedda » Tue Dec 10, 2013 8:39 pm

I drink it by the gallon. It helps that it's warm most of the time down here.

Is it really all the rage? I thought I was breaking new ground over here.
I took a two hour nap and cried during parks and Rec. it was awesome and terrifying.

User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 12869
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by The Sybian » Tue Dec 10, 2013 8:45 pm

govmentchedda wrote:I drink it by the gallon. It helps that it's warm most of the time down here.

Is it really all the rage? I thought I was breaking new ground over here.
Yep, maybe a year or two ago I read that it was going to make a huge comeback, and I have seen it everywhere featured prominently.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

User avatar
sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 12327
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by sancarlos » Tue Dec 10, 2013 8:46 pm

govmentchedda wrote:I drink it by the gallon. It helps that it's warm most of the time down here.

Is it really all the rage? I thought I was breaking new ground over here.
Are we still talking about Johnnie?
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian

I never shoulda punched that horse. - AB

User avatar
Brontoburglar
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4726
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:20 am

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by Brontoburglar » Wed Dec 11, 2013 3:50 pm

govmentchedda wrote:I liked Fatty McButterpants' piece where he followed the NFL referee crew for a week prior to the Bears/Ravens game.
Best thread turn ever given the contexts?
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer

User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 14654
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by rass » Tue Dec 17, 2013 12:37 pm

Johnnie wrote:And I'm so working on her giving up the ass. So far she seems into it.
Thoughts and prayers are headed your way.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.

Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 12292
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: ABQ, BITCH!

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by Johnnie » Tue Dec 17, 2013 12:56 pm

rass wrote:
Johnnie wrote:And I'm so working on her giving up the ass. So far she seems into it.
Thoughts and prayers are headed your way.
Much laughs. Many Crackerjack. Very +1. Wow.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

TT2.0
The Big Lebowski
Posts: 1256
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:06 pm

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by TT2.0 » Fri Dec 20, 2013 3:27 pm

i don't know what venial or venal means, and now that everybody says they know it im too embarassed to look it up.
Gunpowder wrote:you transcend douchedom.
MOTHERFUCKING 2017 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS!!!

User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 12869
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by The Sybian » Fri Dec 20, 2013 3:35 pm

TT2.0 wrote:i don't know what venial or venal means, and now that everybody says they know it im too embarassed to look it up.

Actually, a lot of people, myself included, didn't know. I thought I knew what venal meant, but I was a bit off. Never even knew venial was a word. If I'm going to sin, it's going to be a sin that keeps me out of Heaven.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

User avatar
Steve of phpBB
The Dude
Posts: 5587
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 10:44 am

Re: Return of Confessions

Post by Steve of phpBB » Fri Dec 20, 2013 6:58 pm

TT2.0 wrote:i don't know what venial or venal means, and now that everybody says they know it im too embarassed to look it up.
Yeah, I just googled "venial or venal." Turns out I didn't know what either one meant.
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.

Post Reply