NFL Offseason Thread

Tom 1860 · Post by **Tom 1860** » Fri May 29, 2015 6:05 am

The Broncos should really try and talk Michael Roos out of retirement for a season...

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri May 29, 2015 3:05 pm

Price Shembo still sounds like a great guy

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Fri May 29, 2015 3:08 pm

I just read about him on Deadspin and came away with the complete opposite opinion.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 12:42 pm

Honestly think I could do this no problem.

duff · Post by **duff** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 2:12 pm

That has to be pretty damn hard. When fielding a punt that ball isn't coming straight down. Very impressive. And no j-lo, you probably couldn't do it. But I would pay money to see you put up a vine of you trying.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 2:17 pm

Anyone have a drone I could borrow?

duff · Post by **duff** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 2:27 pm

Guy I used to work with does. I will see if he would be willing to ship it to you.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 3:09 pm

Jerlomes, I bet that if I punted you a ball 5 times you wouldn't catch more than 2.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 3:10 pm

Catching a pair of keys in a sock from 13 floors up was so much harder than I would have ever guessed.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 3:14 pm

It's not like you only have .03 seconds to catch it. Saying he only has that much time is ridiculous since his hands are already prepared to catch it before it get in the catch zone. It's just a matter of lining yourself up.

Post by **brian** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 3:18 pm

If and when this attempt ever happens, please promise me it will be recorded for posterity.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 3:20 pm

Well, yeah. You think I'm going to break a world record and not record it?

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 4:06 pm

I of course don't want you to die, but if you were to die, this would be how I'd want you to die.

Post by **brian** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 4:09 pm

mister d wrote:I of course don't want you to die, but if you were to die, this would be how I'd want you to die.

Trying to break/debunk a Steeler's world record would merely be the coup de grace.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 5:06 pm

Gunpowder wrote:Catching a pair of keys in a sock from 13 floors up was so much harder than I would have ever guessed.

Pretty expensive too, if it was high grade.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sat Jun 20, 2015 6:30 am

DC47 wrote:
Gunpowder wrote:Catching a pair of keys in a sock from 13 floors up was so much harder than I would have ever guessed.
Pretty expensive too, if it was high grade.

Nice!

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Tue Jun 23, 2015 9:58 am

It's all in motion, fellas.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Tue Jun 23, 2015 10:04 am

Make it a horseshoe and I'm in for the PPV

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Tue Jun 23, 2015 10:10 am

Gunpowder wrote:Catching a pair of keys in a sock from 13 floors up was so much harder than I would have ever guessed.

Link?

rass · Post by **rass** » Sun Jul 05, 2015 5:10 pm

JPP, who has not signed his $15MM franchise tender, suffered a severe hand injury via fireworks.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Sun Jul 05, 2015 7:04 pm

I'm torn between feeling really bad for him and thinking he made the most predictably stupid move people seem to commonly make and adding a JPowPowpowpowpowpow joke.

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Jul 06, 2015 6:01 am

A co-worker*'s buddy's friend's (father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate) claims to have been in the ER when JPP came in, and sent my co-worker some pictures. If this is all legit (I trust my co-worker, but who knows about the rest of the chain)...oh fuck. That hand, whoever it belonged to, was absolutely shredded.

*he's a Jets fan, so less likely his buddy was just trying to troll him

EDIT: And he is already walking it back. Just couldn't wait to come into work and show off some mutilation porn to his co-workers...

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Mon Jul 06, 2015 8:28 am

"Hey, stick your hand out so I can take some pics for my buddies up in NJ."

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Jul 06, 2015 9:20 am

It was someone's hand...

Though if next wave of reports from this morning are true, it most likely wasn't his.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Jul 09, 2015 5:54 am

Reports are JPP had a finger amputated yesterday.

The author of the article speculates in the comments that the report could have come from JPP's people:

Actually, I’ll throw out there that it’s possible this wasn’t a holy-hell-sue-for-a-bazillion-dollars HIPAA violation. The information leaked to multiple “NFL insiders” pretty quickly: Schefter, Ian Rapoport, and Mike Garofolo, which sure implies the source is an agent or someone within JPP’s camp. And if it is someone like that, it’s quite possible they did the leak with JPP’s permission, heck maybe at his request.

That doesn’t completely vindicate everything, and relies heavily on reading between the tea leaves, but it is possible.

...

Maybe. Or just getting out ahead of bad news. After all, every tweet was quickly followed with reporting about how this “simplifies and accelerates his recovery” or how a medical source “expects him to play this season.” The positive spin came out almost as fast as the news itself.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:19 am

Rex · Post by **Rex** » Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:22 am

I mean, I think we probably would have figured this one out on our own eventually, right?

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:32 am

Isn't this Schefter image thing really over the line if its not coming from the JPP camp? Like the difference between "I can confirm Favre sent dick pics" and posting an image of Favre's dick?

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:33 am

mister d wrote:Isn't this Schefter image thing really over the line if its not coming from the JPP camp? Like the difference between "I can confirm Favre sent dick pics" and posting an image of Favre's dick?

You're in good company!

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Thu Jul 09, 2015 9:02 am

Serious question: What's the rule on prosthetics in the NFL? I know he wouldn't be allowed to play with some gigantic hammer or a large racket to use to block kicks grafted onto his nub, but can he use a replacement finger?

Post by **brian** » Thu Jul 09, 2015 9:08 am

Not going to pretend I know the answer to that, but I know players have been able to play with their hand wrapped as a club (because of a hand injury) so I suspect it's kosher.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Thu Jul 09, 2015 9:10 am

I would doubt that a prosthetic would hold up in an NFL season. Based on me just assuming things.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Thu Jul 09, 2015 9:28 am

I think a prosthetic would be more troublesome than just giving it the old nine-finger try.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Thu Jul 09, 2015 10:07 am

I am hoping that JPP makes a full comeback - after his first sack, he could do the "reverse Mutumbo!"

That would be awesome.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Thu Jul 09, 2015 10:15 am

mister d wrote:Isn't this Schefter image thing really over the line if its not coming from the JPP camp? Like the difference between "I can confirm Favre sent dick pics" and posting an image of Favre's dick?

The ethical line can be debated, but it's clear the legal one was not crossed.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Jul 09, 2015 10:55 am

Yeah, I saw only the hospital leak (if one exists) would be liable for that, it just doesn't seem like the proper thing to do. Or necessary to do when "sources" is a way of life and his name (I think) carries some weight.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Thu Jul 09, 2015 3:26 pm

Is the Supplemental Draft where the Seahawks get their Adderall?

Post by **brian** » Fri Jul 10, 2015 2:00 pm

Greg Hardy suspension cut from 10 games to 4; NFL front office continues to be a clown show

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Jul 13, 2015 9:33 am

Didn't the Arbitrator take the league to task for penalizing players while ignoring precedents?

Basically making it up on the fly.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 3:18 pm

Do we agree the line between "this was bad" and "this was REALLY REALLY BAD" for the Buffalo coach is 15 years old?