CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Okay . . . let's try this again.

Moderators: Shirley, Sabo, brian, rass, DaveInSeattle

User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29047
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by mister d »

Because Canada is politely waiting for America to clear the skies.
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
User avatar
Ryan
The Dude
Posts: 10439
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:01 am

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by Ryan »

The new employee next to me is, I think, in his early 30s. He just called his bank to ask about setting up an HSA and when the person on the phone said what I'm guessing was something like "what time can you come in", he answered "the earliest I can be there is 5:15, is that ok?"

Kids.
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
User avatar
DSafetyGuy
The Dude
Posts: 8730
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:29 pm
Location: Behind the high school

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by DSafetyGuy »

It's 50-50 that there is a second person on my current project who doesn't get the flying time/time zone thing I mentioned upthread (previous page).

My current project is also a lot smaller than most that I normally work on, roughly 25% of the normal number of people.
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”
User avatar
degenerasian
The Dude
Posts: 12302
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:22 pm

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by degenerasian »

DSafetyGuy wrote:It's 50-50 that there is a second person on my current project who doesn't get the flying time/time zone thing I mentioned upthread (previous page).

My current project is also a lot smaller than most that I normally work on, roughly 25% of the normal number of people.
There was a task on Amazing Race Canada that asked teams to read a flight board and put together 3 flights equaling 25 hours of flight time.
They had no chance

Starts at 3:30
Kung Fu movies are like porn. There's 1 on 1, then 2 on 1, then a group scene..
P.D.X.
The Dude
Posts: 5281
Joined: Wed Mar 13, 2013 12:31 pm

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by P.D.X. »

Our standard rejection letter:
We appreciate your interest in the position at (company). After reviewing the applications received, yours was not selected for further consideration.

The selection committee appreciates the time you invested in your application and we appreciate your continued interest in employment at (company).

We wish you every personal and professional success with your job search. Thanks again for your interest in our company.

Regards,
One person's response:
Hello (recruiting coordinator with a simple female name that somehow gets misspelled), please refrain from sending insulting “Dear John” letters to me or any other job candidate. If a company is not interested in a candidate, the only polite response is “no response”. I humbly suggest you dismount from your $.25 cent electric pony then run like the wind to the nearest Charm School and do not return until you get passing grades. Naturally I wish myself the very best of luck and if there is any luck left over, you can stand in line with your tin cup for your share of left over luck!
User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29047
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by mister d »

Call them and explain they accidentally got the form letter for the most unqualified candidates and just see where the conversation goes?
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
User avatar
Sabo
The Dude
Posts: 5466
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:33 am
Location: On the trail

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by Sabo »

P.D.X. wrote:Our standard rejection letter:
We appreciate your interest in the position at (company). After reviewing the applications received, yours was not selected for further consideration.

The selection committee appreciates the time you invested in your application and we appreciate your continued interest in employment at (company).

We wish you every personal and professional success with your job search. Thanks again for your interest in our company.

Regards,
One person's response:
Hello (recruiting coordinator with a simple female name that somehow gets misspelled), please refrain from sending insulting “Dear John” letters to me or any other job candidate. If a company is not interested in a candidate, the only polite response is “no response”. I humbly suggest you dismount from your $.25 cent electric pony then run like the wind to the nearest Charm School and do not return until you get passing grades. Naturally I wish myself the very best of luck and if there is any luck left over, you can stand in line with your tin cup for your share of left over luck!
Fucking millenials.
Birds don’t suck. They lack the necessary anatomical structures to do so.
User avatar
degenerasian
The Dude
Posts: 12302
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:22 pm

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by degenerasian »

that email should be pasted back onto his linkedin page.
Kung Fu movies are like porn. There's 1 on 1, then 2 on 1, then a group scene..
User avatar
Johnny Carwash
The Dude
Posts: 5952
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:57 am
Location: Land of 10,000 Sununus

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by Johnny Carwash »

the numbnuts who applied to P.D.X.'s company wrote:If a company is not interested in a candidate, the only polite response is “no response”.
Maybe it's just me, but I feel like you'd have to be a fucking psychopath to find a complete lack of response more "polite" than a thank-you note.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
User avatar
testuser2
Brandt
Posts: 493
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 11:53 am

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by testuser2 »

govmentchedda wrote:I just booked a flight that leaves at 12:50 a.m. from Ft. Lauderdale. Seemed very strange.
I have a redeye that goes DEN>FLL>EWR in a few weeks. I'm not looking forward to it.
User avatar
A_B
The Dude
Posts: 23323
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:36 am
Location: Getting them boards like a wolf in the chicken pen.

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by A_B »

Johnny Carwash wrote:
the numbnuts who applied to P.D.X.'s company wrote:If a company is not interested in a candidate, the only polite response is “no response”.
Maybe it's just me, but I feel like you'd have to be a fucking psychopath to find a complete lack of response more "polite" than a thank-you note.
Or to respond to a rejection letter like a psycopath?
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
P.D.X.
The Dude
Posts: 5281
Joined: Wed Mar 13, 2013 12:31 pm

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by P.D.X. »

Sabo wrote:
P.D.X. wrote:Our standard rejection letter:
We appreciate your interest in the position at (company). After reviewing the applications received, yours was not selected for further consideration.

The selection committee appreciates the time you invested in your application and we appreciate your continued interest in employment at (company).

We wish you every personal and professional success with your job search. Thanks again for your interest in our company.

Regards,
One person's response:
Hello (recruiting coordinator with a simple female name that somehow gets misspelled), please refrain from sending insulting “Dear John” letters to me or any other job candidate. If a company is not interested in a candidate, the only polite response is “no response”. I humbly suggest you dismount from your $.25 cent electric pony then run like the wind to the nearest Charm School and do not return until you get passing grades. Naturally I wish myself the very best of luck and if there is any luck left over, you can stand in line with your tin cup for your share of left over luck!
Fucking millenials.
The funny thing is he was like 65 (and applying for a mid-level position that was most likely to be filled by a millennial.)
User avatar
Moreta
Bunny Lebowski
Posts: 590
Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2015 6:10 am

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by Moreta »

That response is really... something.

I found out today that the woman I washed out of our training program and encouraged to apply for an opening in another department (better suited to her) burned her bridges in her exit interview.

When you want to be considered for another position in the same organization, don't go on and on about the "negative environment."
User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29047
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by mister d »

Lets just say I started to ... that one and it got to a point where I wasn't comfortable continuing.
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
User avatar
degenerasian
The Dude
Posts: 12302
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:22 pm

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by degenerasian »

ah monday morning

we have a lady at the office who always reads internet news articles out loud so that her cubemates can hear her.
Well today I suddenly hear "OMG, Victoria Secret model Karlie Kloss is doing porn!"

I'm in an office probably 50 feet away and I heard this. I had another guy in my office just catching up on what he missed while he was away last week.
He said "where the fuck is she surfing? The porn star is Kayden Kross"

It's been half an hour, nobody's going to tell her.
Kung Fu movies are like porn. There's 1 on 1, then 2 on 1, then a group scene..
User avatar
sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 18063
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by sancarlos »

Are those names of real people?
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
User avatar
Pruitt
The Dude
Posts: 18105
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:02 am
Location: North Shore of Lake Ontario

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by Pruitt »

sancarlos wrote:Are those names of real people?
Quick search reveals that Kayden Kross does exist. Seems like quite a frisky young lady too.
"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
User avatar
degenerasian
The Dude
Posts: 12302
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:22 pm

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by degenerasian »

There's a stunning lawyer who works on the same floor on the other side. Blonde, mid-30s, former Stampeders and Roughnecks cheerleader.
and it's Stampede this week which means everyone is in Western wear so she looks amazing.

I have to pass reception to get to the restroom. As I'm walking through I see her walking towards reception to ask a question. So of course I will stop at the desk as well, grab something from the candy bowl and stare at her while she asks her question while pretending I want to ask the receptionist a question too.

Then she says "you go ahead and ask"
me: uhhhhhhh
Her: .....
me: I'll come back, my question will take a while

and i got out of there fast.
Kung Fu movies are like porn. There's 1 on 1, then 2 on 1, then a group scene..
User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29047
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by mister d »

"Do you like artichoke tea? I have 19 bags."
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
User avatar
Brontoburglar
The Dude
Posts: 5851
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:20 am

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by Brontoburglar »

that's not a creepy thing to do at all
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
User avatar
duff
Donny
Posts: 2745
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 3:36 pm

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by duff »

Brontoburglar wrote:that's not a creepy thing to do at all
We are talking about the guy who married his cousin.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
User avatar
Sabo
The Dude
Posts: 5466
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:33 am
Location: On the trail

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by Sabo »

Sabo wrote:When I walked into the office this morning, I think I interrupted two of my co-workers having an affair. There have been rumors these two have been having an affair for quite a while.

I'm at our corporate HQ, and I've been using a corner conference room as my desk while I'm in town. When I got to work, the door was closed. I didn't know why it was closed, but after waiting about 30 seconds or so, these two walked out in a rather hurried fashion. They didn't say much to me when I entered ... one said good morning, and the other just walked out as quickly as possible.

Oddly enough, I had lunch with one of our executives, and she asked me straight up if these two were seeing each other.
Sabo wrote:As I mentioned, there have been rumors floating around for a while. These two always leave the office around lunch time together, presumably to go to the gym. They always sit next to each other during the weekly IT conference call. And someone told me yesterday that when our boss takes vacation time, both of the erm, participants, will ask for a day off or call in sick on the same day.

The male of the pair came into this conference room 5-10 minutes ago and we had an awkward conversation about e-mail clients. He was rambling so much I don't remember what he was asking me. I think he's spooked big time.

I'm finding this to be rather hilarious.
When I want to take time off, I ask my boss and my colleague if it's OK, since there might be something going on that requires my attention. This is standard protocol for most offices.

Yesterday, our department received an e-mail from the male of the pair mentioned above, and all it said was "Team, I am going to take the day off." The brusqueness of his comment is standard for this guy, since he has the subtlety of a sledgehammer. So out of curiosity, I checked our department's calendar, and lo and behold, the female of the pair mentioned above has scheduled time off for yesterday and today.

Just a few minutes ago, the male sent another e-mail to our department. "Team, I am going to take the day off."

I briefly considered doing a reply all and responding with "Tell (female's name) that we all said hello!"
Birds don’t suck. They lack the necessary anatomical structures to do so.
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by rass »

rass wrote:Non-comprehensive list of nicknames given to people who work in my office complex (active):
<<snip>>
Panda
<<snip>>
Panda (so named because she is a grown ass woman who regularly wears a winter hat with a panda face on it, the other (less creative) half of the office calls her the Bruiser because she is built like a linebacker) parked diagonally across three of her company's parking spots this morning.

We figure she's either quitting, or her boss is a giant douche who wanted to make sure his spot wasn't taken (it's raining this AM) and is going to make her go out and move her car when he gets here.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29047
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by mister d »

Maybe she's just funny?
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by rass »

Her car is still there, oriented as described earlier.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
User avatar
rass
The Dude
Posts: 20209
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by rass »

She left at some point, and just came back and parked perpendicular to how she was parked before. She must be the only one in the office?


Or got hungry after spending the morning gruesomely torturing her co-workers and ran out to grab some lunch?
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
User avatar
Johnny Carwash
The Dude
Posts: 5952
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:57 am
Location: Land of 10,000 Sununus

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by Johnny Carwash »

We're still waiting on you to explain that full list. Or, do a quiz thing and award points for people who make the most accurate guesses.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
User avatar
Jerloma
The Dude
Posts: 7050
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 2:10 pm

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by Jerloma »

So I get back from my walk and I'm sweating profusely. I go into the bathroom just to wash off and throw some water on my face. Then I cleared my throat and a bit of shmeg came up. Now behind me is a stall with a urinal in it. I don't know why they have a stall around a urinal but they do. So I go in there to spit because it seemed more civil than spitting into the sink. Then I walk out of the stall and leave but as I'm walking out, this guy I know is walking in and sees me leave the stall and just leave so he must think that I peed and didn't wash my hands. I don't want him to think that but is it weird to say something or should I just let it go?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 27740
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: Downtown Las Vegas

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by brian »

Jerloma wrote:So I get back from my walk and I'm sweating profusely. I go into the bathroom just to wash off and throw some water on my face. Then I cleared my throat and a bit of shmeg came up. Now behind me is a stall with a urinal in it. I don't know why they have a stall around a urinal but they do. So I go in there to spit because it seemed more civil than spitting into the sink. Then I walk out of the stall and leave but as I'm walking out, this guy I know is walking in and sees me leave the stall and just leave so he must think that I peed and didn't wash my hands. I don't want him to think that but is it weird to say something or should I just let it go?


I think it's 100x more weird to say something to someone in that situation than to actually not wash your hands after you've peed.
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
User avatar
L-Jam3
The Dude
Posts: 5949
Joined: Wed Mar 13, 2013 8:43 am

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by L-Jam3 »

Maybe you call it something different in Rhode Island, but "shmeg" is the melty-cheese consistency residue that builds up around an uncircumcised foreskin.
My avatar corresponds on my place in the Swamp posting list with the all-time Home Run list. Number 45 is Paul Konerko with 439.
User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 29047
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by mister d »

I would definitely go explain myself. 100%. Then I'd report back here so everyone could assess how it went.
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 16735
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: TUCSON, BITCH!

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by Johnnie »

This is pretty funny. And the discussion it spurned was good too.

http://reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/com ... ack_of_my/
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.
User avatar
Johnny Carwash
The Dude
Posts: 5952
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:57 am
Location: Land of 10,000 Sununus

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Does anyone else feel like saying "you're welcome" is kind of passive-aggressive nowadays? Like, instead of just responding to a "thank you" with "no problem," you're subtly making a point to remind the person that they should feel indebted to you?
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
User avatar
Sabo
The Dude
Posts: 5466
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:33 am
Location: On the trail

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by Sabo »

Johnny Carwash wrote:Does anyone else feel like saying "you're welcome" is kind of passive-aggressive nowadays? Like, instead of just responding to a "thank you" with "no problem," you're subtly making a point to remind the person that they should feel indebted to you?


No.
Birds don’t suck. They lack the necessary anatomical structures to do so.
User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 27740
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: Downtown Las Vegas

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by brian »

Johnny Carwash wrote:Does anyone else feel like saying "you're welcome" is kind of passive-aggressive nowadays? Like, instead of just responding to a "thank you" with "no problem," you're subtly making a point to remind the person that they should feel indebted to you?


I think it depends. You can go the other way and say that replying with "no problem" implies that a request for help would normally be a problem but this time it wasn't.

Communication at work is difficult sometimes, especially when you factor a lot of the communication you do these days is either over email or Slack (or IM or something similar).

If someone says "thank you" to me I've made it a point recently to actually say "you're welcome" instead of "no problem". I personally think it's just polite, not passive-aggressive. If someone wants to read too much into it, that's on them not me.
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
User avatar
sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 18063
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by sancarlos »

Johnny Carwash wrote:Does anyone else feel like saying "you're welcome" is kind of passive-aggressive nowadays? Like, instead of just responding to a "thank you" with "no problem," you're subtly making a point to remind the person that they should feel indebted to you?

No. Not that it matters, really. But, I prefer to receive a "you're welcome" to receiving "no problem". You acknowledged that they did something for you when you said, "thank you", so "you're welcome" is more appropriate. ("You're welcome" is also the proper old school etiquette.)

ETA: Miss Manners on the case! (second letter on link)
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
User avatar
L-Jam3
The Dude
Posts: 5949
Joined: Wed Mar 13, 2013 8:43 am

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by L-Jam3 »

If "you're welcome" is passive aggressive, what would active aggressive be? Telling them to kick rocks?
My avatar corresponds on my place in the Swamp posting list with the all-time Home Run list. Number 45 is Paul Konerko with 439.
User avatar
degenerasian
The Dude
Posts: 12302
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:22 pm

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by degenerasian »

L-Jam3 wrote:If "you're welcome" is passive aggressive, what would active aggressive be? Telling them to kick rocks?


"Thanks"

"Yeah whatever don't ask again"

Would be aggressive.
Kung Fu movies are like porn. There's 1 on 1, then 2 on 1, then a group scene..
User avatar
Johnny Carwash
The Dude
Posts: 5952
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:57 am
Location: Land of 10,000 Sununus

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by Johnny Carwash »

I guess my question is largely influenced by someone I'm working with right now. Intelligent and competent, but more than a little abrasive, and can't pass up an opportunity to let you know that (a) she thinks you did something wrong or (b) she thinks she did you a favor.

Also, like 90% of the people I work with respond to "thank you" with "no problem" or "sure," so the "you're welcome" seems more passive-aggressive in that context.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
User avatar
Keg
The Big Lebowski
Posts: 1026
Joined: Sun Mar 10, 2013 11:42 pm
Location: LA of A

Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Post by Keg »

sancarlos wrote:
Johnny Carwash wrote:Does anyone else feel like saying "you're welcome" is kind of passive-aggressive nowadays? Like, instead of just responding to a "thank you" with "no problem," you're subtly making a point to remind the person that they should feel indebted to you?

No. Not that it matters, really. But, I prefer to receive a "you're welcome" to receiving "no problem". You acknowledged that they did something for you when you said, "thank you", so "you're welcome" is more appropriate. ("You're welcome" is also the proper old school etiquette.)

ETA: Miss Manners on the case! (second letter on link)


Agree 100% with sancarlos.
My only fear of death is coming back to this b1tch reincarnated
Post Reply