CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

[brian]

That would probably about give me a panic attack every time I opened my phone.

[rass]

current red dot gmail app count is 35,318

I’m reporting you to corporate.

[Giff]

That would probably about give me a panic attack every time I opened my phone.

I can understand personal e-mail I guess, but what I don't get is work e-mail. My boss has 5k+ in her inbox and she never files anything. It drives me mad.

[Brontoburglar]

That would probably about give me a panic attack every time I opened my phone.

I can understand personal e-mail I guess, but what I don't get is work e-mail. My boss has 5k+ in her inbox and she never files anything. It drives me mad.

Over 11K and 17K in the two work email accounts

I AM CRAZY

[brian]

It works for you. I'm just saying it would drive me crazy.

[degenerasian]

My New Years Resolution for 2020 in the workplace is to not give a fuck about anything. Ever heard stories about bad management demotivating workers? That's me right now. My new team lead has no clue and it's really bringing everyone down. Now I may be biased and bitter because he beat me out for that job but the department is really going downhill. There is so much more I could have done in that role with the potential of current staff. He has no clue what's going on and his office door is always closed. Current staff is pissed off because they have no direction and his two new hires over the last year (one for his old position and another one) are complete disasters and he defends them because they are his hires. We are a service department to other departments and they are complaining. I spent 2019 trying to put out fires but it's getting too much now. I don't know what my manager is thinking because she is fielding all the complaints. I can see giving people a chance, but it's been a year.

Now you're all wondering why I don't just leave. I would but I do like the work here if it was functioning properly and more importantly, HR enrolled me into a two year program at the University of Calgary and if I leave, I'd have to pay all the money back. Therefore, I'm committed until June 2021. So now I just sit at my desk, headphones on and ignore everyone. I gave myself a project that will take a year (in reality it'll take 2 months). And I picked up a side job to caption and transcribe videos. It pays peanuts but something to keep me busy and make some spending money. I'll be doing that during work hours. And also, gives me a chance to spend more time with my wife. More days off, coming in late, leaving early and meeting her for long lunches.

[brian]

Sounds like you're making the best of a crap situation so kudos for that.

[The Sybian]

My New Years Resolution for 2020 in the workplace is to not give a fuck about anything. Ever heard stories about bad management demotivating workers? That's me right now. My new team lead has no clue and it's really bringing everyone down. Now I may be biased and bitter because he beat me out for that job but the department is really going downhill. There is so much more I could have done in that role with the potential of current staff. He has no clue what's going on and his office door is always closed. Current staff is pissed off because they have no direction and his two new hires over the last year (one for his old position and another one) are complete disasters and he defends them because they are his hires. We are a service department to other departments and they are complaining. I spent 2019 trying to put out fires but it's getting too much now. I don't know what my manager is thinking because she is fielding all the complaints. I can see giving people a chance, but it's been a year.

Now you're all wondering why I don't just leave. I would but I do like the work here if it was functioning properly and more importantly, HR enrolled me into a two year program at the University of Calgary and if I leave, I'd have to pay all the money back. Therefore, I'm committed until June 2021. So now I just sit at my desk, headphones on and ignore everyone. I gave myself a project that will take a year (in reality it'll take 2 months). And I picked up a side job to caption and transcribe videos. It pays peanuts but something to keep me busy and make some spending money. I'll be doing that during work hours. And also, gives me a chance to spend more time with my wife. More days off, coming in late, leaving early and meeting her for long lunches.

Sounds like it took you a long time to turn into a stereotypical government employee.

[degenerasian]

My New Years Resolution for 2020 in the workplace is to not give a fuck about anything. Ever heard stories about bad management demotivating workers? That's me right now. My new team lead has no clue and it's really bringing everyone down. Now I may be biased and bitter because he beat me out for that job but the department is really going downhill. There is so much more I could have done in that role with the potential of current staff. He has no clue what's going on and his office door is always closed. Current staff is pissed off because they have no direction and his two new hires over the last year (one for his old position and another one) are complete disasters and he defends them because they are his hires. We are a service department to other departments and they are complaining. I spent 2019 trying to put out fires but it's getting too much now. I don't know what my manager is thinking because she is fielding all the complaints. I can see giving people a chance, but it's been a year.

Now you're all wondering why I don't just leave. I would but I do like the work here if it was functioning properly and more importantly, HR enrolled me into a two year program at the University of Calgary and if I leave, I'd have to pay all the money back. Therefore, I'm committed until June 2021. So now I just sit at my desk, headphones on and ignore everyone. I gave myself a project that will take a year (in reality it'll take 2 months). And I picked up a side job to caption and transcribe videos. It pays peanuts but something to keep me busy and make some spending money. I'll be doing that during work hours. And also, gives me a chance to spend more time with my wife. More days off, coming in late, leaving early and meeting her for long lunches.

Sounds like it took you a long time to turn into a stereotypical government employee.

Ha! this is true.

I really enjoy the work here and under better conditions I'd be really motivated to get a lot done. There is so much work to do and I have a really creative team that can get great ideas going.

And it's not complicated shit I'm mad about, it's just simple correspondence. For example, I emailed my team lead on Friday requesting Wednesday (tomorrow) off and he hasn't responded to it yet. Now he's gone for the day so fuck it, I'm taking tomorrow off. My wife has appointments that I've been scrambling to book and I can't for this dickwad to get off his ass and approve it.

[Ryan]

Just heated up some excellent clam chowder in a big mug that I didn't realize smells like an old dish towel until I started eating. Maybe to get back at whoever "cleaned" it, I'll heat up some clam chowder in the office kitchen.

[mister d]

This is your own fault for using communal office dishes/silverware. That's super gross.

[Nonlinear FC]

Yeah, I either use tupperware or if I absolutely need to I'll use paper products. (that's rare, though... soup out of a tupperware is fine.)

[A_B]

I have no problem with it. I usually hand wash everything before use anyway.

[rass]

Other than maybe knives, no way man.

[Jerloma]

People in my company have started using the term "cross-pollinate" instead of collaborate. I don't know why. That can't be a thing, right?

[degenerasian]

Yeah it's a thing, fancy office speak. Buzzwords.

[A_B]

People in my company have started using the term "cross-pollinate" instead of collaborate. I don't know why. That can't be a thing, right?

Honestly, it's a better description of what are usually circle jerks anyway.

[degenerasian]

I went to a seminar today about resume writing and was surprised to hear how picky things are now.

First resume screen takes about 20 seconds and your resume will immediately go into the garbage if:

previous jobs titles are not on the left and dates are not on the right
if there is a physical address
if email is yahoo or hotmail
if you have an objective statement

the cover letter is not even read of resume doesn't pass this 20 second screening. But if they do read your cover letter, don't start every sentence with I, and no more than 3 paragraphs. Why you're interested, context or experience and why you're applying now.

[P.D.X.]

Christ. Is that something you paid for?

[degenerasian]

Christ. Is that something you paid for?

yes HR did.. i was just sitting in. HR gets a lot of 'experts' in for us to attend, i go for free food.

[Nonlinear FC]

I went to a seminar today about resume writing and was surprised to hear how picky things are now.

First resume screen takes about 20 seconds and your resume will immediately go into the garbage if:

previous jobs titles are not on the left and dates are not on the right
if there is a physical address
if email is yahoo or hotmail
if you have an objective statement

the cover letter is not even read of resume doesn't pass this 20 second screening. But if they do read your cover letter, don't start every sentence with I, and no more than 3 paragraphs. Why you're interested, context or experience and why you're applying now.

I really don't buy much of this, degen.

First of all, who cares if you have a yahoo or hotmail account? What's the difference btwn those and gmail?

I don't necessarily have an Objective statement, but I do have a statement that summarizes my (at this point) pretty extensive and varied experience in the communications field.

And what's the logic on physical address? I have a contact box that is pretty minimal and out of the way, but it certainly includes where I live.

Maybe this is specific to your field? Apologies if I should know this, but are you in IT? I can see why they would be weird about resumes, because there it's gotta be pretty clear cut about what you bring to the table. It's just not like that with most fields.

[Nonlinear FC]

And as someone that has hired people over the years (tho, admittedly it's been 3 or 4 since the last hire), I sure don't have those areas as filters and I'd be surprised if our HR managers did.

We have a lot of qualifiers in terms of background and experience, but being that picky on resumes seems like recipe for dumping good candidates for really petty reasons.

[A_B]

If you have a hotmail or yahoo address I totally judge you.

[Giff]

Yeah, I know I'm one manager out of a million, but I've never given any thought to any of those when reviewing resumes over the last 4 years.

[degenerasian]

hotmail and yahoo = you're outdated and can't adapt to new products like G Suite
objectives are outdated, no one hiring you today cares that you want to be ... in 5 years.
address, just city and zip code is sufficient, no one cares where you actually live
(although this is bullshit because i did my wife's resume for a cashier job and her physical address showed that she lived close and could be called instantly for shifts)

I am in Records and IT but this session was company wide, not for us specifically.

[A_B]

I don't see the point in telling your employees how to make resumes, either.

[Nonlinear FC]

hotmail and yahoo = you're outdated and can't adapt to new products like G Suite
objectives are outdated, no one hiring you today cares that you want to be ... in 5 years.
address, just city and zip code is sufficient, no one cares where you actually live
(although this is bullshit because i did my wife's resume for a cashier job and her physical address showed that she lived close and could be called instantly for shifts)

I am in Records and IT but this session was company wide, not for us specifically.

On the email thing, again, I think that's kind of crap. I've dumped people out for having really immature handles. LOTS of interns don't get that sexkitten13@gmail is a really fucking bad look.

Yeah, agreed on objectives, that's a solid point. Like I said, I don't mind someone with what amounts to a brand story, but agree that objectives are out-dated and silly.

And, again, the location thing is just the resume people justifying their existence with a hot take. Like you said, it can't really hurt. But I do see the point that it's fairly superfluous. But acting like that's going to get your resume tossed. C'mon, man.

[A_B]

The hotmail and yahoo thing also could be veiled ageism.

[Nonlinear FC]

Interestingly, I just got a ph interview lined up today for a position I applied to last month.

So, something was working with that resume.

[P.D.X.]

Graphic design is an easy field for resume vetting. Looks like shit? (90% do) You're out!

(Although I don't really care that much I do find it funny when someone has purchased a domain for their personal/portfolio site but then have a gmail address. Just use @yourdomain!)

[Shirley]

Yeah, degen, either you misinterpreted what they were saying or your company got scammed paying for the advice of idiots.

hotmail and aol? Yeah, doesn't look great for a technical job. Maybe yahoo too. But consider that a lot of people no longer trust Google.

Objective? Unnecessary and I usually only skim reading it, but the idea that people will skip reading an entire resume because it has an objective is stupid.

Physical address? Again, unnecessary and probably a bad idea from a privacy standpoint, but it's certainly not disqualifying (unless MAYBE you're applying for a secops position).

And where you put your dates and titles? For fucks sake.

What happened is these people felt the need to say SOMETHING to justify the amount they were getting paid. They made that shit up.

[degenerasian]

I think it's more that recruiters get so many resumes that they all look the same and a time saving mechanism is to invent reasons to throw them out. She kept saying, using outdated cookie cutters methods means you won't adapt in an ever changing workplace. AB is correct in assuming this is ageism.

Another thing I found weird was they say never include a photo to your resume. But if your resume passes the initial screening, their next step is the go to LinkedIn to see what you look like.

It could be recruiters keep hiring the wrong people.

[The Sybian]

What happened is these people felt the need to say SOMETHING to justify the amount they were getting paid. They made that shit up.

This is the key point. Every hiring manager has different quirks. Sometimes there are industry-specific norms or expectations, but beyond that, none of those things you mentioned mean shit to most hiring decision makers. I worked as a legal headhunter for a couple years, and spent a lot of time editing resumes. Some firms or recruiters in those firms had weird quirks, but you can extrapolate beyond those individuals.

Also, why is your HR department paying for a resume session unless they are planning a large layoff? Just weird to teach your employees how to better apply for a job elsewhere.

[The Sybian]

I think it's more that recruiters get so many resumes that they all look the same and a time saving mechanism is to invent reasons to throw them out. She kept saying, using outdated cookie cutters methods means you won't adapt in an ever changing workplace. AB is correct in assuming this is ageism.

Another thing I found weird was they say never include a photo to your resume. But if your resume passes the initial screening, their next step is the go to LinkedIn to see what you look like.

It could be recruiters keep hiring the wrong people.

In the US, you don't send pictures with a resume, as employers don't want to know your race, age, etc... and get accused of taking a protected class into consideration. I know it used to be the norm in the UK and parts of Europe to include a picture with a resume.

I will agree with the 20 seconds is all your resume gets on an initial review, I'd say even less time. The bigger issue is initial screens are done by computers in larger companies or any company accepting online applications. A human doesn't even see the resume unless it hits the right keywords or gets through the algorithm. I think the most important step is doing some research and figuring out who the job reports to, and sending a resume directly to that person. They will (usually) look at it, and if you are a good candidate, they will ask HR to set up an interview. As for a cover letter, the biggest issue is people writing why they want the job, when they should write why the company needs them. Tailor this as specifically as you can towards the company and the position. I used to go on the company website and borrow the corporate slogans and babble in the mission statements.

[Shirley]

Yeah, I've never heard of a photo on a resume. Seems like a really bad idea.

But keywords, on the other hand, absolutely do matter. In a lot of places, the initial screener is a piece of software.

[degenerasian]

Also, why is your HR department paying for a resume session unless they are planning a large layoff? Just weird to teach your employees how to better apply for a job elsewhere.

It's part of a larger program called effective writing. Many sessions, everything from writing professional letters, memos, emails, procedures and I guess cover letters and resumes was thrown in.

[Shirley]

Or they're about to lay off a bunch of people and want to seem like they're helping them find new work.

[Sabo]

A quick reminder to everyone that it's pretty important to remove internal sales notes before contacting your customers. One of our vendors forgot to to do that in an email sent to me, my colleague and my boss. Now I know that sales rep says I'm "very touchy", "expects a quick response at all times" (to be fair, this is true) and that I am "wigging out w/ this gap in service".

The gap in service he mentions is an administrative fuck up on their end that's prevented us from ordering Macs for almost three weeks. Since we order Macs on an almost daily basis, it's pretty important we have an uninterrupted gap in service.

Now I'm *really* looking forward to the phone call where we inform them this "gap in service" forced us to identify other vendors and we won't be doing business with them any more.

[Giff]

That's why I keep my snarky comments to chat.

[Mulligan]

A quick reminder to everyone that it's pretty important to remove internal sales notes before contacting your customers. One of our vendors forgot to to do that in an email sent to me, my colleague and my boss. Now I know that sales rep says I'm "very touchy", "expects a quick response at all times" (to be fair, this is true) and that I am "wigging out w/ this gap in service".

The gap in service he mentions is an administrative fuck up on their end that's prevented us from ordering Macs for almost three weeks. Since we order Macs on an almost daily basis, it's pretty important we have an uninterrupted gap in service.

Now I'm *really* looking forward to the phone call where we inform them this "gap in service" forced us to identify other vendors and we won't be doing business with them any more.

That was funny! I almost think we should camaro the guy!