The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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mister d
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d »

I'm with the "don't overthink this" crew. As long as everything is agreed on and legally binding in writing, I don't see the point of turning this into a bigger deal than necessary.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Also, make sure she gets the bedroom carpet.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by duff »

mister d wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:55 am Also, make sure she gets the bedroom carpet.
She is going to leave the glass shards.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Ryan »

Who gets the best album of all-time, what ever that may be?
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d »

Ha, I was just about to do the same thing but in that thread.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Ryan »

I figured he'd only be reading threads about himself in this, his time of need.
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Rush2112 »

Jerloma wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:46 am
Rush2112 wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:45 am
Jerloma wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:12 am
Why so complicated? I'm buying her out of the house. She's not going after any of my retirement and savings. I'm not going after any of her income. It's done. Who do I get that's just gonna say, "Great, sign here."?
Not sure how it differs in RI, but in MA we drew up an agreement, had it reviewed by a lawyer, then went in front of a judge that asked if we both agreed and then signed the agreement. Cost us 200 bucks maybe.
That. That's what I want.
File an uncontested divorce. 75 day waiting period, heard in family court.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian »

duff wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:51 am Who keeps the dog tooth?
Wait a minute, the guy she went with to get the pit bull, is that a part of this thing? None of my business, but this just set it off. Who gets the cats and the dog? And the Sega Genesis?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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I get the cat, she gets the dog, and he prefers BBC's.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

Question. Let's say that someone has a sex dream about me. Now, obviously you can't really control who you have sex dreams about so that doesn't really mean anything, but if the person then tells me that they had a sex dream about me, does that mean that they actually wanna hit it?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d »

Either "definitely" or such a strong no that they felt comfortable saying it.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian »

Jerloma wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:03 am Question. Let's say that someone has a sex dream about me. Now, obviously you can't really control who you have sex dreams about so that doesn't really mean anything, but if the person then tells me that they had a sex dream about me, does that mean that they actually wanna hit it?
If they are aware of your situation, then it's a very clear yes, unless they are a truly horrible person.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Is he cute?
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d »

[Giff, whispering] "Now say you found it irresistible when he bought you a Corona Light and gave a 15 minute monologue about the evils of Catholicism."
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Johnnie »

Jerloma wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:23 pm I get the cat, she gets the dog, and he prefers BBC's.
Not sure what UK TV channels has to do with this, but ok.



Lolz
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by tennbengal »

mister d wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:18 am [Giff, whispering] "Now say you found it irresistible when he bought you a Corona Light and gave a 15 minute monologue about the evils of Catholicism."
[Giff, hiss whispering] "Do NOT say it is ironic that he asked you to wear a catholic schoolgirl outfit."
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

The Sybian wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:11 am
Jerloma wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:03 am Question. Let's say that someone has a sex dream about me. Now, obviously you can't really control who you have sex dreams about so that doesn't really mean anything, but if the person then tells me that they had a sex dream about me, does that mean that they actually wanna hit it?
If they are aware of your situation, then it's a very clear yes, unless they are a truly horrible person.
Not aware, but this is the message...
Dream last night....and it seemed to go on forever. We were chosen to compete in some kind of dance competition on a ship for 8 days and we were sleeping on floors where there was space as it was a little crowded. Apparently you and I were "enjoying" this if you know what I mean. It was more of a booze cruise, dance competition, refugee type cruise I think. Definitely a mishmash of everything and no we didn't win. Dreams are awesome!
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by BSF21 »

Jerloma wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 1:20 pm
The Sybian wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:11 am
Jerloma wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:03 am Question. Let's say that someone has a sex dream about me. Now, obviously you can't really control who you have sex dreams about so that doesn't really mean anything, but if the person then tells me that they had a sex dream about me, does that mean that they actually wanna hit it?
If they are aware of your situation, then it's a very clear yes, unless they are a truly horrible person.
Not aware, but this is the message...
Dream last night....and it seemed to go on forever. We were chosen to compete in some kind of dance competition on a ship for 8 days and we were sleeping on floors where there was space as it was a little crowded. Apparently you and I were "enjoying" this if you know what I mean. It was more of a booze cruise, dance competition, refugee type cruise I think. Definitely a mishmash of everything and no we didn't win. Dreams are awesome!
Yea, I'd say that one has been burning for a bit. Look at JLo hitting home runs on his first plate appearance out of retirement.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by P.D.X. »

Should be sexting by now.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d »

Buy tickets for you and her on a wildly expensive 8 day cruise.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by BSF21 »

mister d wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 1:40 pm Buy tickets for you and her on a wildly expensive 8 day cruise.
Just make sure she pays for her half of the bed upfront.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

P.D.X. wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 1:29 pm Should be sexting by now.
Yeah, that word alone gives me all the anxiety. I did manage to ask her how I was. She said "Fantastic. And HUGE!"
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by TT2.0 »

Jerloma wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 3:10 pm
P.D.X. wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 1:29 pm Should be sexting by now.
Yeah, that word alone gives me all the anxiety. I did manage to ask her how I was. She said "Fantastic. And HUGE!"
she also mentioned you had great hands. the best. biggest she ever saw. tremendous
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

Oh yeah and also, you guys...smokeshow.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Pruitt »

I don't miss the nonsense associated with dating - and clearly things are crazier now.

I love my wife. Marrying her was the smartest thing I have done with my life.

However, I so, so badly miss the thrill of seeing a pair of tits for the first time.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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www.pornography.com

You’re welcome.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Rush2112 »

Johnnie wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:56 am
Jerloma wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:23 pm I get the cat, she gets the dog, and he prefers BBC's.
Not sure what UK TV channels has to do with this, but ok.



Lolz
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Bil Belichick Cuddles
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian »

Rush2112 wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 5:26 pm
Johnnie wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:56 am
Jerloma wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:23 pm I get the cat, she gets the dog, and he prefers BBC's.
Not sure what UK TV channels has to do with this, but ok.



Lolz
Berkshire Brewing Company. Who doesn't enjoy a tall glass of Drayman's Porter?
Ohhh, I just assumed that meant big black cock.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

I'm gonna tell you guys the same thing I told my financial advisor last night when he was trying to explain the pros and cons of taking out a second mortgage on my property to pay off my wife vs. writing a check from my brokerage account.

Honestly, I would very muck like for you to just tell me what to do.

What I was thinking though was that to plant a seed, I said something like, "So someone told me that you only tell people that you had a hot dream about them if you're actually into such things. Not that I necessarily subscribe, just letting you know it's a theory that's out there."

Oh man...that sounded way cooler in my head.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by P.D.X. »

Honestly if a chick drops some bait like that I'm just gonna keep asking her for more details. She's gonna get herself all worked up describing it while you're exerting zero effort.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

P.D.X. wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 7:39 pm Honestly if a chick drops some bait like that I'm just gonna keep asking her for more details. She's gonna get herself all worked up describing it while you're exerting zero effort.
What if I'm wrong? Do you think my ego is honestly prepared for something like that?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d »

Or you're going to talk yourself right out of position.



(And take out the mortgage. Odds are rates are only going to go up so you'll have the option to pay it off later on but not the option to take out a mortgage under 4.00%.)
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

Oh wait...this is why I hardly ever got laid in college, isn't it?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

she is single, right? I figure that's a safe assumption but didn't see anything saying yes/no
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

Lives with someone but can't stand him.

This thread ain't for moral dilemmas though, right?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian »

Jerloma wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 8:51 pm Lives with someone but can't stand him.

That settles it, she was totally throwing you a green light. Don't worry about a witty line, just say you are DTF. She has a boyfriend, she isn't looking to be romanced or date, she just wants to fuck, and a witty line isn't going to open that door.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

Oh my god, you're insane, Syb. I could never do that.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian »

Jerloma wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 9:35 pm Oh my god, you're insane, Syb. I could never do that.
It's so much easier than trying to come up with a line. If you need a line, tell her if she liked your huge dick in her dream, you are ready to disappoint the fuck out of her.

Or you could just say, "hey, have you heard I'm now single? Want to grab a drink Saturday night?"
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d »

Jerloma wrote: Wed Feb 07, 2018 3:10 pmI did manage to ask her how I was. She said "Fantastic. And HUGE!"
If you need a clever line how about something simple like “I bet you were fantastic and HUGE too”?
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
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