The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Johnnie »

Fuck, man. Even I was able to break the cycle eventually. I've been with the same girl now for over a year and she's the one.

We're not "Facebook official" and we haven't even said "I love you" to each other, but we know we do and at this point it's an odd game of chicken to see who will eventually say it first. I've told everyone (but her) that I'm going to marry her. So that's also funny. And her parents and friends love me. She's been amazing from minute one.

Now, the feminism crowd might hate me when I say this but hookup apps were exclusively for the sex and nothing else for me. When I matched it was a direct, but courteous acknowledgement that "I'm on here for one thing and if you aren't, no worries." Many, many girls actually took that as mature because I didn't play any games. (But then of course after the hookup, feelings from one side happened and it was onto the next.)

When that got boring, and I started talking to my girl (on Bumble because I'm socially anxious), I decided to see where things went when I didn't press sex immediately. Our first date was electric and that was that.

But I sincerely hope something decent happens to you, man. I'm very sure, going back to previous Swamps, it's been a solid decade of this. You're not a bad dude.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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tennbengal wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:34 am
mister d wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:31 am I assume there "writer" is more of a turn-off than "Nascar" is a turn-on.
"Likes dogs, Nascar, and throwing bales of hay for a total body workout."
I think that could get him initial interest...
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Pruitt »

If I didn't know (or at least suspect) differently, I'd say that this woman sounds like Bronto met her on "J-Date."
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian »

Pruitt wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 10:23 am If I didn't know (or at least suspect) differently, I'd say that this woman sounds like Bronto met her on "J-Date."
Despite being the Swamper with the Jewiest name, Bronto is a Goyim. Hey, maybe that's it, did she assume you were Jewish, and discovered the dark truth, and didn't want to tell you that's why she lost interest? Whatever, try not to get hung up on this one, and move on.

I doubt the problem is Bronto being an asshole, if anything I'd guess him to be not forward enough. Not that I've ever met Bronto in person, so what the fuck do I know, just projecting from similar dating frustrations in my past. If the girls seem interested, and you think it's going great, and they suddenly fall off, from my experience, I wasn't forward enough in making them realize I was interested. I don't mean being too slow to make a move, and they put you in the friend zone, though it could be, but it could also be not giving off signs of being interested in a long term relationship. Or maybe showing too many signs of being too interest. Don't overthink anything, just be yourself, and when it's right, it'll click.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by EnochRoot »

The Sybian wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:42 am
Pruitt wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 10:23 am If I didn't know (or at least suspect) differently, I'd say that this woman sounds like Bronto met her on "J-Date."
Despite being the Swamper with the Jewiest name, Bronto is a Goyim. Hey, maybe that's it, did she assume you were Jewish, and discovered the dark truth, and didn't want to tell you that's why she lost interest? Whatever, try not to get hung up on this one, and move on.

I doubt the problem is Bronto being an asshole, if anything I'd guess him to be not forward enough. Not that I've ever met Bronto in person, so what the fuck do I know, just projecting from similar dating frustrations in my past. If the girls seem interested, and you think it's going great, and they suddenly fall off, from my experience, I wasn't forward enough in making them realize I was interested. I don't mean being too slow to make a move, and they put you in the friend zone, though it could be, but it could also be not giving off signs of being interested in a long term relationship. Or maybe showing too many signs of being too interest. Don't overthink anything, just be yourself, and when it's right, it'll click.
I think the woman's involvement with her ex would preclude me from too much reflection, except to maybe heed any warning signs about any past attachments.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian »

Johnnie wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:57 am
Now, the feminism crowd might hate me when I say this but hookup apps were exclusively for the sex and nothing else for me. When I matched it was a direct, but courteous acknowledgement that "I'm on here for one thing and if you aren't, no worries." Many, many girls actually took that as mature because I didn't play any games. (But then of course after the hookup, feelings from one side happened and it was onto the next.)

First, congrats Johnnie, happy to hear you found a great relationship. Second, I think the "feminist crowd" would, or at least should, respect your honesty in the dating app world. That is absolutely the most honest and mature approach. That empowers women to fuck you if they want, without fear of judgment or ruining the potential of a relationship, and saves them from getting hurt or mindfucked when you aren't looking to date them. And if you hooked up, and they felt hurt and wanted more, that's on them, because you told them up front.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by degenerasian »

The Sybian wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:42 am
Pruitt wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 10:23 am If I didn't know (or at least suspect) differently, I'd say that this woman sounds like Bronto met her on "J-Date."
Despite being the Swamper with the Jewiest name, Bronto is a Goyim. Hey, maybe that's it, did she assume you were Jewish, and discovered the dark truth, and didn't want to tell you that's why she lost interest? Whatever, try not to get hung up on this one, and move on.

I doubt the problem is Bronto being an asshole, if anything I'd guess him to be not forward enough. Not that I've ever met Bronto in person, so what the fuck do I know, just projecting from similar dating frustrations in my past. If the girls seem interested, and you think it's going great, and they suddenly fall off, from my experience, I wasn't forward enough in making them realize I was interested. I don't mean being too slow to make a move, and they put you in the friend zone, though it could be, but it could also be not giving off signs of being interested in a long term relationship. Or maybe showing too many signs of being too interest. Don't overthink anything, just be yourself, and when it's right, it'll click.

There is way too much mind-reading in today's dating scene. Usually one side cannot figure who what they want. There are more factors today then say 20 years ago. Technology, entertainment, media, politics, previous relationships and education levels etc..
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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The Sybian wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:42 am
Pruitt wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 10:23 am If I didn't know (or at least suspect) differently, I'd say that this woman sounds like Bronto met her on "J-Date."
Despite being the Swamper with the Jewiest name, Bronto is a Goyim. Hey, maybe that's it, did she assume you were Jewish, and discovered the dark truth, and didn't want to tell you that's why she lost interest? Whatever, try not to get hung up on this one, and move on.

I doubt the problem is Bronto being an asshole, if anything I'd guess him to be not forward enough.
Nah - I've been out if the dating pool since the last century, but as I recall, some women are just plain nutty. I think that may be the issue here.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Steve of phpBB »

degenerasian wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:47 amThere is way too much mind-reading in today's dating scene.
Jane Austen would like to have a word with you.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

Johnnie wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:57 am Fuck, man. Even I was able to break the cycle eventually. I've been with the same girl now for over a year and she's the one.

We're not "Facebook official" and we haven't even said "I love you" to each other, but we know we do and at this point it's an odd game of chicken to see who will eventually say it first. I've told everyone (but her) that I'm going to marry her. So that's also funny. And her parents and friends love me. She's been amazing from minute one.

Now, the feminism crowd might hate me when I say this but hookup apps were exclusively for the sex and nothing else for me. When I matched it was a direct, but courteous acknowledgement that "I'm on here for one thing and if you aren't, no worries." Many, many girls actually took that as mature because I didn't play any games. (But then of course after the hookup, feelings from one side happened and it was onto the next.)

When that got boring, and I started talking to my girl (on Bumble because I'm socially anxious), I decided to see where things went when I didn't press sex immediately. Our first date was electric and that was that.
1. that's awesome!

2. I've never, ever, straight up asked for a hookup on a dating app and never will. but bumble has been, quite surprisingly, more of a hookup app than tinder was in my experience. there was one gorgeous woman who invited herself over to my house 16 hours after messaging me that morning. brazen. the initial success rate isn't the problem. it's the finding one who's got her shit together and meets all the criteria.

(also, paying to see who swipes right on you is totally worth it. I do really well with the hippie women who are not sports fans, which would be fine if I didn't love and work in sports. that's a big takeaway -- dating someone who doesn't have an interest in sports or understands why my life can be the way it is at times is not ideal)
But I sincerely hope something decent happens to you, man. I'm very sure, going back to previous Swamps, it's been a solid decade of this. You're not a bad dude.
it's quite the run. and I haven't even told all the stories here, I'm sure. like the time one woman straight up asked me if I was gay. I'm not kidding.
The Sybian wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:42 am
Pruitt wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 10:23 am If I didn't know (or at least suspect) differently, I'd say that this woman sounds like Bronto met her on "J-Date."
Despite being the Swamper with the Jewiest name, Bronto is a Goyim. Hey, maybe that's it, did she assume you were Jewish, and discovered the dark truth, and didn't want to tell you that's why she lost interest? Whatever, try not to get hung up on this one, and move on.

I doubt the problem is Bronto being an asshole, if anything I'd guess him to be not forward enough. Not that I've ever met Bronto in person, so what the fuck do I know, just projecting from similar dating frustrations in my past. If the girls seem interested, and you think it's going great, and they suddenly fall off, from my experience, I wasn't forward enough in making them realize I was interested. I don't mean being too slow to make a move, and they put you in the friend zone, though it could be, but it could also be not giving off signs of being interested in a long term relationship. Or maybe showing too many signs of being too interest. Don't overthink anything, just be yourself, and when it's right, it'll click.
hahaha she's fascinated by Jewish people. after learning that I asked "so did you think I was Jewish? hateful readers ask that question a lot in emails." she did not.

I think the well-timed flower delivery (which really restarted the road to what I thought was something good) and my clear intentions of what I wanted made it very obvious. I've learned a shit ton over the past few years, including making it obvious while also not being anything close to clingy.

the annoying/frustrating thing is not that the wall didn't get torn down, it's that she gave me the very clear indication that it was after I drove her home from the bar the night before our date. and it clearly wasn't. it makes absolutely no sense.
Pruitt wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:51 am
The Sybian wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:42 am
Pruitt wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 10:23 am If I didn't know (or at least suspect) differently, I'd say that this woman sounds like Bronto met her on "J-Date."
Despite being the Swamper with the Jewiest name, Bronto is a Goyim. Hey, maybe that's it, did she assume you were Jewish, and discovered the dark truth, and didn't want to tell you that's why she lost interest? Whatever, try not to get hung up on this one, and move on.

I doubt the problem is Bronto being an asshole, if anything I'd guess him to be not forward enough.
Nah - I've been out if the dating pool since the last century, but as I recall, some women are just plain nutty. I think that may be the issue here.
as someone who's been cancer faked ... found out a relationship was officially over via her sister's facebook page ... been told I wasn't mature enough after a woman came crawling back to me (fun fact: I learned in December that woman is friends with this one), this is nothing.

if this is the 'crazy' then fine. I understand that getting out of a six-year relationship is tough and trying to make your way forward as a potentially newly single person in your 30s can be scary. but shitttttttt, don't lead on the guy who has "been nothing but wonderful to me and I obviously very much enjoy talking to you" if you're not ready to date someone better.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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But was she willing to pay her share of the cabin rate?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

duff wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 4:04 pm But was she willing to pay her share of the cabin rate?
she moved on quickly. her sister's facebook post was apparently legit
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by sancarlos »

Johnnie, tell her you love her.
1. You do.
2. She should know.
3. You’ll get a blowjob out of it.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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I love you, SC.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Gunpowder »

Every time I click this thread I reach peak flaccidness
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Gunpowder wrote: Tue Jan 23, 2018 9:47 am Every time I click this thread I reach peak flaccidness
This means a lot, considering your history of hot fire.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Johnnie »

The Sybian wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:46 amFirst, congrats Johnnie, happy to hear you found a great relationship. Second, I think the "feminist crowd" would, or at least should, respect your honesty in the dating app world. That is absolutely the most honest and mature approach. That empowers women to fuck you if they want, without fear of judgment or ruining the potential of a relationship, and saves them from getting hurt or mindfucked when you aren't looking to date them. And if you hooked up, and they felt hurt and wanted more, that's on them, because you told them up front.
You'd think, but there are some women who require you be a mindreader to a degree that even if it was possible to read minds you'd still be screwed.
Brontoburglar wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 3:24 pmI've never, ever, straight up asked for a hookup on a dating app and never will. but bumble has been, quite surprisingly, more of a hookup app than tinder was in my experience. there was one gorgeous woman who invited herself over to my house 16 hours after messaging me that morning. brazen. the initial success rate isn't the problem. it's the finding one who's got her shit together and meets all the criteria.
There was that period of time where hookup apps were the AADD version of something long form like Match or eHarmony. That was dumb. They were invented and developed to meet and fuck. Whatever happened after that was consequence.

Now, if you're not that type, that's fine, but it's not really the intent. With a large enough tinder/bumble pool, 16 hours is weeks in hookup time.

But I agree about the "shit together" aspect.

Funny story. The very first girl I matched with on tinder in ABQ came over sloppy drunk. She drove there like that. She had even more alcohol in her purse and started drinking when she came in. So many red flags. Then she started disparaging my apartment and being rude. I had literally just moved in and only the essentials were established. Eventually I told her to leave. I go to bed. I wake up to multiple missed texts, phone calls, and voicemails of her begging to stay the night because she was drunk. I think she slept in her car. And she also said she left her cell charger at my place and she needed it. I said I'll drop it off to her because I wanted her nowhere near my place. After I did and texted her she had the nerve to ask if we could give it another shot and go out. I said lose my number and never text me again.

Fast forward to last week. The gf and I are staying in a hotel because I've moved out of my apartment and my stuff is in storage while deployed. Due to when I fly out I was able to stay 2 more days. So my gf and I go to the counter to talk to the desk clerk and guess who it is? Yup, the hot mess tinder match. After I was done extending our hotel stay I walk out with her and say "Remember the story of the first chick I matched with on tinder in ABQ? That was her." She couldn't stop laughing. For the rest of the time whenever we'd leave and come back she'd say "Oh, is your friend working?" It was hilarious.
Brontoburglar wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 3:24 pmlike the time one woman straight up asked me if I was gay. I'm not kidding.
That's very rude of her. The correct answer to that is "Bend over and you'll find out" or tell her that her hair is gross, eyebrows are crooked, and those shoes look terrible on her. Or even insinuate that you'd rather fuck a dude instead of her due to the negative qualities you just made up.

See, I've been hit on by dudes since I was 14. So a question like that from a girl wouldn't phase me.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Have also gotten that question/comment from girls between 3-5 times. Not in a dating sense, but a friend's friend or friend's GF or whatever. I was a well-manicured boy. And I noticed it was never a negative, usually a positive.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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mister d wrote: Tue Jan 23, 2018 1:33 pm Have also gotten that question/comment from girls between 3-5 times. Not in a dating sense, but a friend's friend or friend's GF or whatever. I was a well-manicured boy. And I noticed it was never a negative, usually a positive.
the, uh, context of when and where the question took place and not the question itself is/was the issue. it's hilarious now. back then it was horrifying.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Brontoburglar wrote: Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:05 pm
mister d wrote: Tue Jan 23, 2018 1:33 pm Have also gotten that question/comment from girls between 3-5 times. Not in a dating sense, but a friend's friend or friend's GF or whatever. I was a well-manicured boy. And I noticed it was never a negative, usually a positive.
the, uh, context of when and where the question took place and not the question itself is/was the issue. it's hilarious now. back then it was horrifying.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Spirited game of never-have-I-ever?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Brontoburglar wrote: Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:05 pm
mister d wrote: Tue Jan 23, 2018 1:33 pm Have also gotten that question/comment from girls between 3-5 times. Not in a dating sense, but a friend's friend or friend's GF or whatever. I was a well-manicured boy. And I noticed it was never a negative, usually a positive.
the, uh, context of when and where the question took place and not the question itself is/was the issue. it's hilarious now. back then it was horrifying.
When she was trying to blow you, and you needed to look at your John Cena posters to get it up?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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undertaker
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d »

That kinda works as a "how I convinced her I wasn't" joke too.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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It moved a little when SusanDew came aboard.

She whispered:
Cash Loan with OTP Bank


Damn girl. That's hot.

I almost want to sultry-talk my way through that Robbie Robertson song from whatever LP he released in the 80s.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

So me getting divorced is a thing now. I haven't been single since I was 22. What's that like these days?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Jeez. Sorry, man.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:27 pm So me getting divorced is a thing now. I haven't been single since I was 22. What's that like these days?
Well, this really sucks to hear. Shitty thing to go through.

As for being single, well it wasn't all that bad.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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sancarlos wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:29 pm Jeez. Sorry, man.
That bad?

Thanks but seriously...don't be. I'm happy.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Shit. Sorry to hear that.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by BSF21 »

Hope however it works out ends up in your favor JLo.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by rass »

Sorry(?) man. I have no idea. I can't imagine dealing with some of what johnnie/bronto/degen/whoever else have relayed in this thread the past, though I can imagine that some of that crap won't wholly be applicable to your situation.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian »

Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:32 pm
sancarlos wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:29 pm Jeez. Sorry, man.
That bad?

Thanks but seriously...don't be. I'm happy.
Then... congrats, I guess?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

BSF21 wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:35 pm Hope however it works out ends up in your favor JLo.
I really think it's going to work out in both of our favors. We already get along and communicate a thousand times better just having decided on this. I get to keep my house, joint custody of kids with primary residence. I'll have to write a check for about 100k for half the value of the house but I kind of see that as just moving money from a mutual fund investment to a real estate one.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by P.D.X. »

rass wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:38 pm Sorry(?) man. I have no idea. I can't imagine dealing with some of what johnnie/bronto/degen/whoever else have relayed in this thread the past, though I can imagine that some of that crap won't wholly be applicable to your situation.
From what I've seen, the second-hand market has a lot less BS.
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mister d
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d »

B(elief in) S(aints)
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
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brian
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by brian »

Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:44 pm
BSF21 wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:35 pm Hope however it works out ends up in your favor JLo.
I really think it's going to work out in both of our favors. We already get along and communicate a thousand times better just having decided on this. I get to keep my house, joint custody of kids with primary residence. I'll have to write a check for about 100k for half the value of the house but I kind of see that as just moving money from a mutual fund investment to a real estate one.
If you've legit got the custody and financial stuff worked out then that's 98 percent of the potential headaches.

Dating again is a whole other enchilada though.
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
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Jerloma
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

Seriously...I have no game whatsoever and sexual tension gives me anxiety. I have to hope someone finds my social awkwardness adorable.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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mister d
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d »

Besides us ; P
Johnnie wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
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